Brilliantly Resilient

• Episode 217: Building Resilience Through Acceptance and "Owning Ataxia," with "A Good Calamity" Author, Jay Armstrong

  "Lasting resilience begins with acceptance. For me, acceptance is an every day prayer."  ~ Jay Armstrong Author of A Good Calamity: Useful Essays and Poems on Living with a Disability   Are you struggling to accept something hard in your life? Are you even thinking about acceptance, or are you still fighting the hard truth? Jay Armstrong was diagnosed with ataxia (a degenerative disease of the brain and nervous system) in 2013, shortly after the birth of his youngest son. The disease affects Jay's movement, balance and speech, among other things. Jay notes that accepting his disease has been a challenge, but one that has helped him build lasting resilience. "You have to own your struggles," Jay says. "I no longer put my handicapped devices in the closet. I keep them out and say, 'This is who I am.'" (Jay has also named his walking cane Clark Able. Hahahaha!) As we often say in Brilliantly Resilient, owning our struggles not only builds resilience, but allows us to let go of what "should be," to make room for what "could be." In Jay's case, he "should not have been" stricken with ataxia, but it is his reality. Once we accept our reality, we're better able to determine what "could be" possible and take small, incremental steps to rebuild. Jay's new book A Good Calamity: Useful Essays and Poems on Living with a Disability, is the fourth book in his journey on living with his disease and its effect on his life and that of his family. It's funny, moving, and a testament to hard won resilience and wisdom.  Tune in to hear more of Jay's wisdom on this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:   Hard won wisdom doesn't come easy, but it comes honest. A Good Calamity: Useful Essays and Poems on Living with a Disability This is the first time I owned the word "disability" by putting it on the cover of the book. I was owning it. I have to own everything. Part of my acceptance was littering my life with visual reminders. You have to own your struggles. I no longer put my handicapped devices in the closet. I keep them out and say, 'This is who I am.'  My son asked me if I could go into the ocean and throw him into the water like another father was doing. And I had to say, 'No; I can't do that.' And that hurt...for a long time. Eventually, I realized that what I could do was be present. Presence matters. I can be there. And that's what my children will remember. That I was there. You eventually realize that no one is going to save you. Holding out hope for a cure becomes futile. What I tell other people and I tell myself is to accept this in little minute increments. Do little things to help yourself. Resilience is built one brick, one action at a time. Those dark times will come, but you're better able to muscle through them. Humor is an underrated survival skill. A big part of my survival is making my kids laugh. Take your humor seriously. Accepting is allowing others to see the hard truth of my life.... Now when someone asks if they can help me, I can be vulnerable with them.... When they ask if they can help, it's because they love me. I used to see it as pity; now I see it as love.  Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran

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• Episode 216: Leading with Resilience, Compassion and Empathy with Catalynt Solutions Owner and CEO Meg Gluth

  "It doesn't mean all the snacks in the break room are the greatest. It means that you work in a place that recognizes the dignity of you as a person, recognizes the value of your contributions, and recognizes that you're a human being with things to do." ~ Meg Gluth, Owner & CEO, Catalynt Solutions, Inc.    Meg Gluth knows about the "critical importance of compassion, empathy, and resilience" in leadership. Growing up in poverty in rural Iowa, Meg's challenges eventually drove her to turn to alcohol as an "inappropriate coping mechanism" as she navigated the turbulent waters of young adulthood. Despite her alcohol addiction, Meg finished college after 7 years (she was kicked out of her first college), and was admitted to law school--with no way to pay for it. A remarkable act of kindness and faith changed Meg's outlook on life when the father of a friend co-signed Meg's loans and allowed her to pursue her goal. Still a functional alcoholic and despite more devastating hardships, Meg got sober in 2011, and began working for the company she would one day own and become CEO. Meg now leads Catalynt Solutions, Inc., one of the largest certified women-owned chemical suppliers in North America. Meg's experiences taught her that "Life is a full contact sport," but she still believes there is room in leadership for kindness and empathy--along with the necessary accountability. Meg believes that holding her employees accountable while respecting their humanity encourages everyone to not only own their mistakes, but grow into being part of the solution to challenges.  Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know the importance of accepting responsibility and being accountable for our mistakes, as well claiming our wins. Growth and evolution happen when we realize that as humans, we will always have seasons of success and failure, but we can live and lead with kindness and grace through both.  Check out Meg's website  for more and tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Meg's wisdom. Be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: Life is a full contact sport and our acceptance of that is sort of one of the key defining moments. I accept the full contact nature of the sport and I accept the discomfort. We look at people suffering and we don't want them to suffer. But the very suffering, the, the intensity of the suffering is what somebody like me needs in order to get out. Because change and resilience and healing and recovery is an inside job first. The start of resilience in a business is to say, OK, I see that you messed this up. I also know that you hold within you and this opportunity holds within it the seeds of some success to come from this failure. And I'm going to ask you to lead us out of it. That is the core of resilience. I'm not asking you to be perfect, but I'm asking to be a person that grabs for the rebound after you missed the shot. You can be compassionate. You can be kind and hold someone accountable. Accountability is the structure and the discipline and the knowledge for an employee, for a child, for a spouse. This is what it takes. These are my boundaries. This is what it takes to be successful. When people know where the bar is and they know where the line is, they feel more comfortable.somehow we've lost the narrative. We've lost the discussion around accountability, being loving. You are capable of being up here. You're performing down here? My job is to say to you I'm going to push you. I'm going to stretch you. I'm going to grow you to your capacity because I know when you're standing on the top of that line how good you're going to feel about yourself. And by the way, when you feel good about yourself and you're at your capacity, it turns into real. In this business, in life in general, I think it's OK to say I call myself a human centered capitalist because I I am. I don't make any secret of the fact that I want a for profit company that makes money. That's sort of the point. We can also be mindful in that that there is dignity and working hard and going home at the end of the day saying I earned this pay check. Where you are is the perfect place to start. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!  (And click here to buy your copy of From Broken to Brilliant: How to Live a Brilliantly Resilient Life, by me!!) XO, Mary Fran

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• Episode 215: How to Develop Your Money Mindset with "She Grows Rich" Author Audrey Faust

  "Be involved in both your business and personal finances. 80% of women will die single. At some point in your life you are going to have to manage your finances. A man is not a financial plan." ~ Audrey Faust: Author of She Grows Rich; Expert CFO and Money Mindset Authority Are you in financial survival mode? Many women are. It's a mindset trap that many women, especially female entrepreneurs, can fall into. But it's possible to make the shift from survival mode to lasting wealth. Audrey Faust is the best-selling author of She Grows Rich. Audrey notes that "money is emotionally charged for women," often keeping them from approaching finances strategically, or ignoring finances all together.  With simple, achievable, step-by-step strategies, Audrey helps women create confidence and empowerment around personal and business finances. She guides women on creating a financial blueprint, which she notes is different than a budget, as it lets women decide where their money goes and where they want to see it grow. By encouraging women to take charge of their finances and invest in themselves and their businesses, Audrey uses "reverse engineering" to help clarify action steps towards financial security and success. She also reminds entrepreneurs to charge what they're worth! (And why is that so hard????) Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know that education and action are essential to creating successful, fulfilling professional and personal lives. Further, in order to establish financial security and confidence, women need to take responsibility for themselves and their futures.  To help you start on your journey to financial empowerment, Audrey is offering a free download titled 12 Secrets from and Expert CFO. Get your copy here, and order your copy of She Grows Rich here. Tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Audrey's wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: Mindset and financial strategies are the best combination for women and money. Women are givers and nurturers by nature, which can make it harder to focus on financial strategies. Women weren't even allowed to have a credit card in their own name until 1974.  You need to financially invest in something to see results. Make sure your profit is what it would be if you were working in the marketplace. If you are closing 100% of your prospects, your prices are too low. Aim for a 50 to 80% closing rate. Take the judgement out of handling your finances. If you don't make a profit in your business within 3 years, the IRS can classify your business as a hobby, which means you cannot deduct expenses, there are no tax breaks and there is tax on any income. Be involved in both your business and personal finances. 80% of women will die single. At some pint in your life you are going to have to manage your finances. A man is not a financial plan. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! (And click here to buy your copy of From Broken to Brilliant: How to Live a Brilliantly Resilient Life, by me!!) XO, Mary Fran

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• Episode 214: How to Manage--and Change!--Chronic Pain with Pain Reprocessing Therapy and Patty Tashiro

  "Acute and chronic pain are processed in different parts of the brain. If you aren't healing and are still in pain, it's possible that your brain has established learned neural pathways that can continue to cause pain, which becomes chronic." Patty Tashiro ~ Natural Brain Solutions Is your brain keeping you in pain? The emotional responses we have to trauma--which often stay with us--can trigger the brain to continue to send a physical pain response in our bodies. Huh? Isn't pain caused by a physical issue in the body? Well, yes. Unless it isn't. Patty Tashiro experienced a mother's nightmare when her daughter and her husband were rear-ended by a speeding car--and Patty, on the phone with her daughter, heard the whole thing.  Patty's daughter, 10 at the time, had a severe brain bleed, but miraculously survived her injuries. Yet, despite her body healing from obvious physical injury, Patty's daughter continued to suffer from debilitating pain, confounding doctors.   Finding no help from traditional physicians (One doctor told Patty that if her daughter "wasn't barfing, she should be in school,") Patty began researching and discovered Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, which utilizes the brain's ability to "rewire" itself (neuroplasticity) to help those suffering to reprocess trauma and reduce the brain's reaction--thus lessening chronic pain. Patty continued exploring similar options and is now certified in brain health coaching and Pain Reprocessing Therapy.   Clearly, seeking alternative help for her daughter required Patty to change her thinking and be willing to look at things differently. Here at Brilliantly Reseilient, we refer to seeing the world through a different "lens," being open to new ideas, experiences and opportunities to grow--and heal. To learn more, visit Patty's website and tune in to this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast for these additional bits of wisdom:   What is the brain's role in perpetuating pain? Our nervous systems are completely different depending on our life experiences.... How is your nervous system working--for you or against you? The brain is misreading friendly signals as danger, which can cause us to "learn" chronic pain over time. Neural pathways can create pain that becomes chronic. Your emotions or trauma can create physical pain in your body. If you are not healing, you may have moved into chronic pain. Your brain is misreading chronic signals as bad and perpetuating pain. Neuroplastic pain can be malleable. It can be changed. So how can we train our brain to feel safe?  You are worth healing. If you're lying in your bed in pain, you're not able to share your gifts, and we need you! You can heal. And you can become Brilliantly Resilient. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran

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• Episode 213: How to Expand Diversity and Inclusion to Include Everyone, with Toby Mildon

  "There is diversity within diversity itself. Even people with shared disabilities have different experiences. We are all diverse. Diversity includes everyone." ~ Toby Mildon, Author of Inclusive Growth: Future-proof Your Business by Creating a Diverse Workspace, and Building Inclusivity: Making Your Workplace Equitable, Diverse and Inclusive   How many people in the world are exactly like you? EXACTLY like you, no differences. The answer is no one. Every single person, because of countless factors including genetics, personal experiences, education, inherent skills--the list is endless--is unique.  Toby Mildon, author and DEI expert, notes that when we broaden our definition of diversity to include everyone's unique skills and circumstances, and provide access in our workplaces for all to succeed, we "can increase creativity and innovation and problem solving because you have people with different perspectives and experiences." A wheelchair user for his entire life, Toby notes his personal experience with diversity, but also suggests that we must begin to think about other, less obvious aspects of diversity. Toby suggests that one of the keys to making DEI all-inclusive is finding commonalities and synergies between different groups. Toby says: "When we stop labeling groups and identifying them by a particular issue and realize everyone has the issue to some degree, implementing changes can benefit everyone in an organization," --a unifying benefit of DEI that uplifts the entire organization. At Brilliantly Resilient, we recognize the benefits of diversity and inclusion, both on a large scale and within our own lives. Seeking out others with different experiences, perspectives and talents helps us learn, grow and evolve--a key to living a Brilliantly Resilient life. Learn more about Toby on his website, and find his books here. Tune in for more of Toby's wisdom on this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: I've been on a Diversity and Inclusion journey myself. I've been a wheelchair user all my life. I have personal experience with diversity.... We have to be thinking about other aspects of diversity. Individuals are individuals. Everyone has their different starting points. You need to provide personalized adjustments and ways of working to level the playing field. When we stop labeling groups and identifying them by a particular issue and realize everyone has the issue to some degree, implementing changes can benefit everyone in an organization. If we take a social model of thinking into the workplace, we can ask ourselves what are the barriers people are facing? What roadblocks are in the way of people succeeding? We need to address those issues.... It's access to opportunities. When you recognize that the adversity that has kept people out is also what has allowed them to develop the skills that will bring value to the organization, we realize we need to even further expand our idea of diversity. You need to swiftly engage the senior management team and get them crystal clear on why DEI is important to the future of THEIR business.... Start with the organization's vision and mission and then move on to see how DEI will help them grow. A diverse workforce can increase creativity, innovation and problem solving because you have people with different perspectives and experiences. If people are too similar, you end up with "Group Think" and blind spots. Are we creating the environment of inclusion in companies where everyone can thrive? As an employer, you have a unique place in society to create a ripple effect. If you create an inclusive place to work where individuals can thrive, you can also affect society. It all starts with the opportunity to go to work and earn a living. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran  

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