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Breaker Whiskey

Atypical Artists

BREAKER WHISKEY is an ongoing, daily microfiction podcast exploring one woman’s journey to find additional survivors in an America made empty by an unknown even...

Fiction Science Fiction

263 - Two Hundred Sixty Three
A response to Passerine. Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit atypicalartists.co/support. If you'd like to send Whiskey a message, click here. ---- [TRANSCRIPT] Breaker breaker. This is whiskey calling out for Passerine. I think-I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. I read your message out the other day. I don't know if you heard it. I recorded it and then set it to repeat, so hopefully you caught it. I just figured I didn't want to respond to your message and have you not hear it. So I hoped that in reading your message out loud, you would know that I was going to respond and stay tuned in. I don't know. I don't know how any of this works. So anyway, hopefully you are listening and hopefully I said that name correctly, Passerine. I don't know that I'm familiar with that particular type of bird, but I like a theme. You're definitely right in that I have had a year. Sometimes if I think about it too much, it doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem like all of those things happened in a 12 month period, especially when compared to the previous six years. I didn't know life could be that full. Maybe full is the wrong word because obviously I was alone for pretty much all of it. But eventful. And different, right? Just different. That's what I wanted and that's what I got and.. I wanted to not feel so alone and...to your point- talking to you helped me with that feeling. So did Donnie of course. I think about him every single day. It was easier- it was easier to miss him. To miss Richie and Pete and Sylvie and Francis and Martha and everyone else...it was easy to miss them when I thought there was nothing I could do, when I thought that the whole world had just gone mad and any help I could have provided, was way too late. So it hurts worse now. The fact that he's gone. Because I was in a position to help him, to protect him. And I...I failed. [static] And you're right, Passerine. Some days I do want to run away?. And wrap myself in that darkness. And today is one of those days I... Harry said something, made some joke and...I don't know. It just set me off, you know? It was like for a second I could hear the echo of what Don would have said had he been there, because even though it wasn't perfect between all of us, we did, you know, we had a rhythm and and Harry would say something and then Richie would say something, and Don would come in with the punch line, or Harry and Richie would be arguing and Don would mediate and-- or lean over to me and make a joke, just the two of us. And this was one of those moments where there should have been another beat, right? I said something. Harry said something, and then... And he wasn't there. He just - he just wasn't there. I still heard his voice. Still imagined what he would have said. It's not like that's the first time that's happened, right, in the last seven years. Like, Harry and I have had plenty of times where we feel the specter of the people that we lost around us. But it's worse now. [static] Sorry, I didn't mean to make a response to your message about this. I just, I wanted to follow your advice. You know, in feeling that feeling of wanting to run into the darkness, turning here instead to talk to you. I wanted to. I wanted to do that. [static] And I'm glad I could be a reminder for you. I don't know why you feel lonely or if you are literally alone. You didn't tell me much about you, but I'm glad if I eased some of that feeling a little bit. It's weird to think about. It's strange to think about being a part of people's lives when I don't know those people, you know? I mean, that's part of life no matter what, right? he person behind you in line gives you that last quarter that you need to buy coffee and they make your day okay. And you think about them and remember their face and they don't really think about you, right? They did a nice thing and it didn't really cost them much, but it made an impact on you. Things like that happen all the time, happen every day in a place like New York City, where most of the people you're interacting with on any given day are complete strangers that you'll probably never see again. So it's not like I haven't always been a supporting character in people's stories and vice versa. But well, you know, there's the whole being a part of people's lives when those people's lives are occurring in different timelines thing which is still hard to wrap my mind around, but I can't think about too long or my head because I'll wobbly. But, even beyond that, I don't- I don't know what your face looks like. I don't even know your real name. And granted, you don't know my real name, not my full name. But you know my voice. You know things about my life, about my mind, about my heart. And the most wild thing is that all of that means something to you. It means something to you that I have feelings and that I've shared what's happened to me and that I continue to share what's happening to me now and that... Sometimes I think, why does anyone care? But then I think, gosh, I mean, if I had someone to listen to on the radio who knew things that I didn't and had lived life that I hadn't lived, I'd wanna listen to them too, just for some entertainment. At this point, I'm pretty sure I know everything about Harry that I ever will know. Well, that's not true. But, you know, seven years of someone...You kinda hear all their stories at least once. Anyway. I feel like I'm repeating my stories and my thoughts. But, it still just blows me away. That people care. That people think I'm brave. You're right. The true loneliness is being unknown. And I hope you do break out of that. I really do, because. It is such a cage, isn't it? To feel like no one knows you. And sometimes I wonder with Harry if I'm opening that door and walking into that cage myself over and over again. Because she knows me. Of course she knows me. But even now, even now that she knows the truth of my feelings, sometimes I get afraid of her seeing me. Of her knowing me in my heart of hearts. And I want to hide. I want to run away and...who does that serve? So this is my promise to you, Passerine. I will keep calling out. I will not run into the darkness. And I will try to let myself be known. I hope the same for you. Whiskey out.
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9:20
From Passerine (Listener Message)
Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit atypicalartists.co/support. If you'd like to send Whiskey a message, click here. --- [TRANSCRIPT] Hey Whiskey Call me Passerine. Figured I'd keep with the bird theme that's going on around here. I've been seeing these messages coming through for a while now, but only recently did I take the time to actually sit down and hear. And, wow. What a year you have had. From visiting all of these beautiful places, to the danger of being chased, and all the heartache that Harry has brought you, I'm so glad you chose to call out to us. Some days I wish I had the bravery to do that, to call out to the world and let them know what the inside of my heart looks like. Or, well, to just go up to the people around me and just let them see the outside. I feel like even in a timeline where I'm surrounded with people, the loneliness still gets to me. I don't think you understand just how brave you are, to fight through that loneliness, to tell the world, and Harry, what it is that you feel. I think sometimes true loneliness is being unknown. I don't know how to break out of that. I'm so glad that you aren't alone anymore, even though I know some days you'll probably feel it again. Some days you're going to want to run away into the wilderness, and wrap yourself in the comfort of darkness, and just stay where no one can see or hear you. But I think this past year has shown that you're strong enough to fight that urge. And hey, if you're ever feeling that way, like that loneliness is creeping up on you, you know what to do. Turn on that radio, and tell us everything. We'll be here for you. You're never alone. And I think that's what I'm most grateful for. You've reminded me again that I don't have to be alone. Thanks Whiskey. This has been Passerine, over and out.
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1:48
262 - Two Hundred Sixty Two
A response to Red. Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit atypicalartists.co/support. If you'd like to send Whiskey a message, click here. ------ [TRANSCRIPT] Well, hi there, Red. It's good to hear from you. It's strange to hear from you, to talk to you, to talk to anybody, which I know you understand. I haven't been ignoring your transmissions if you really have been sending them for this long. I—I just really haven't heard anything until now. And it’s..hard to think about. You know, when when we first got here and I switched on the radio and turned it to the channel that Birdie told me to, it was such a gift, hearing all those voices. But it was also hard. To think that so many people have been calling out and I just hadn’t… [static] It's something I've struggled with. I did…I needed time to breathe and to figure out what to do next, to figure out things with Harry. And, well, I'm not necessarily any closer on any of those things, but it's been good, I think, to step back a little bit. But I did feel bad. You know, I felt bad leaving people behind just when I finally found them. But then I thought, well, who do I respond to? How do I respond? How do I know that in all of the frequencies and all of the transmissions coming from all these different timelines, how can I make sure I hear from the people that I want to hear from? The next transmission you send, Red, if you send another one, how am I going to be sure that I can can hear it and document it? We've got the radio running all day, every day and are absolutely burning through tape recording it when one of us isn't there. I know we're going to run out at some point and… Harry says I'm not responsible for the world, but hearing you talk what you've been through the last seven years…the loneliness. Missing the sun. I'm glad that I was able to bring some color, some light back into your life, but I just can't help thinking, where are you? Are you here? Are you somewhere else? Are you somewhere that I can get to? Birdie said that things shifted again and I still don't know how. Still haven't seen any sign of what's different. But to think that you and I could merge our disparate timelines. Our isolated little personal purgatories could somehow join up down the line, I don't know. I don't know how we would know or how we would find one another. I guess if there's anything that you can tell me specifically about the world that you're in now…maybe that'll help narrow things down a little. I don't know. [static] But I'm glad I finally heard you. And I hope you hear this. I hope you know that I wasn't ignoring you. I've been listening. I've been trying to listen for so long. Also you should know that I got a real crack out of you assigning colors to everybody. It sounds like you nailed them, too. I mean, Pete being money green is… [static] And I did get a good chuckle out of you picking a color that you didn't like very much for Harry. I mean, that's probably what I would have done too. But if it makes you feel any better about things, I think she liked the idea of a yellow-orange. You know, because she's a painter too she thinks about colors differently. There is no ugly color to her. It's all possibility. Anyway, Red, I hope…I hope your loneliness abates a little bit in the way that mine has. Being with Harry hasn't felt that void. Not entirely. I don't know that anything can or will unless we can find our way back, but it has helped. Being honest with her has helped. So I hope wherever you are that you're safe and that I can add more colors to your palette in the future. Whiskey out. [static]
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4:54
From Red (Listener Message)
Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit atypicalartists.co/support. If you'd like to send Whiskey a message, click here. ------ [TRANSCRIPT] Hello Whiskey. Ohh, that feels weird. Like… sending a message to your best friend but… also to a celebrity that has no idea you exist. I must sound a little crazy. And maybe I am. You’d probably go a little crazy down here, too. Anyway, I don’t think I’ve actually gone crazy, pretty sure I read somewhere that if you’re still able to think about whether or not you are, then you aren’t. I think therefore I am not crazy? I don’t know. I don’t think any of my transmissions are getting through, anyway. Or maybe they are and you’re just… ignoring them. That… that hurts more, I think. Knowing that someone else is out there and they don’t want to talk to you. Or maybe they’re getting trapped somewhere between here and the surface. I don’t think it’s because they sound crazy or anything – I listened back to them to be sure. That was weird, hearing my own voice. The sound was… foreign. A stranger. I know your voice better than my own, now. I could pick it out of thousands of radio signals. Couldn’t even recognize my own played back to me. But then it’s not like I’ve had much to say these past… seven years? I think it’s been seven. I stopped counting the days a while ago. Just got… depressing. All those… plain white concrete walls covered in tally marks. (Cheering) But now my walls look beautiful. I’ve been transcribing everything you’ve said – I have tapes of every broadcast, and I’ve written down every word. Pasted them up on my walls. And I haven’t used my paints in years – even… even before all of this, but… they needed a little colour. I started by making my own notes in red, and then your locations in green, for the landscape, and Birdie’s messages in blue. Like a bluebird. And all the people you talked about - Don’s rust, Richie’s yellow, Pete’s green – not like the landscape, but like… money. Like the colour that I remember money being, at least. And Harry was… well. I had decided her colour back when I thought she had hurt you – and she had, of course, but I mean… back when I thought she did it for the sake of it. So I gave her this… yellow-orange colour. And knowing what I know now, I feel… a little bad about that. I wish I’d given her a prettier one. But maybe she would like it. It’s not terrible. Sort of a… sunny orange. Like the colour that I remember the sun being, at least. Anyway, every… every rainbow needs some sun, right? And their names… they make a rainbow. (Tearing up) You brought that rainbow back into my life, Whiskey. Seven years of white walls, and now there’s colour. Seven years of silence, and you bring back sound. Seven years of isolation and desolation and hopelessness… and you bring back… me. You mentioned liking Rothko, back on… (checks) transmission 179. I mean, I’m no Rothko, obviously, but… I suppose he won’t mind if I take a little inspiration from him So Whiskey… you can call me ‘Red’.
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3:07
261 - Two Hundred Sixty One
Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit atypicalartists.co/support. If you'd like to send Whiskey a message, click here. ------ [TRANSCRIPT] Breaker, breaker, this is whiskey calling out to one and all. [click, static] Hi, everybody. I know it's been a minute. I’m—I'm weirdly nervous talking to you now. Now that I know that people are listening. Now that I know that people across infinite timelines are listening, it's a lot of pressure. I feel like I have a little inkling of what Jean Shepard would have felt getting on the radio every night, except I actually think I probably have more listeners than Jean, which yeah, I actually can't think about that very much or I will get even more nervous. [static] As an update because some of you have seemed curious— we’re doing good, I think. Not too much has changed since my last transmission. We're still where we were, although I think we're going to have to head down the mountain soon. The weather is changing and I don't think we want to be here when the snow comes. Well, when the snow really comes, there is already snow because we're that high up. But we can't survive a winter here, not with how thin these walls are. As for where we go next, I don't know. I know I probably won't be telling you. Not because I don't want you guys to know, but because. Well, you know, people may be listening and I don't want to invite any more trouble than I already am inclined to do, just living my life. [static] Harry and I are good for the most part. I mean, we've had a few blow up, knock down, drag out fights. Well, you know, a dozen, maybe. Nothing— nothing earth shattering, just the usual. Although now we have a a different mode of conflict resolution, by which I mean we actually make attempts at conflict resolution now and in a way that I think is very productive. Maybe not talking things out as much as we should, but I don't think either of us can complain. So. Yeah, we're. We're okay. Not much else to report. Not much has changed. Haven't heard from Birdie or from Fox since that last big transmission, but I have been hearing from a lot of you. We spend most of our days sifting through all the different messages we get. Some of them are like this, and a lot of them are Morse code, which I don't think either of us were expecting necessarily. But it's nice to have somebody else with me to translate the Morse code. One of you…one of you sent a morse code message asking if this was real. You said it was a cool project and that that threw me because does that mean that somehow you, whoever you were that send that message, you're back in the normal world and this was coming through on your normal radio and you thought, hey, maybe there's another Orson Welles joint or something of that kind. Does this sound like a story to you? Like I'm just an actor pretending to be somebody stuck somewhere. I—I’m glad that you thought it was cool. In any case, I don't know that I would categorize it that way because it's my life, but yeah. Yeah, it’s real. [static]
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3:52

BREAKER WHISKEY is an ongoing, daily microfiction podcast exploring one woman’s journey to find additional survivors in an America made empty by an unknown event in the late 1960s. In 1968, two women find themselves in rural Pennsylvania during what turns out to be some kind of apocalyptic event. By the time they discover that everyone else is gone, it’s too late to figure out what happened. Despite not liking each other at all, the women work together to survive, until six years later one of them sets out on her own, driving around the country to find other survivors. This is her, calling out to anyone who might listen. BREAKER WHISKEY is made by Lauren Shippen and recorded on a 1976 Midland CB Radio. It releases daily, Monday through Friday. If you would like the entire week's episodes as one single download, released on Monday, you can support the show at patreon.com/breakerwhiskey or by becoming an Atypical Plus supporter at atypicalartists.co/support. Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey.

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