Building Godly Relationships #3 – Rooted in the Eternal Work of Christ
“Godly Relationships #3: Rooted in the Eternal Work of Christ”
Pastor Kobus Massyn
Colossians 1:9-20
9For this reason, since the day we heard about it, we have not stopped praying for you, asking [specifically] that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom [with insight into His purposes], and in understanding [of spiritual things],
10so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord [displaying admirable character, moral courage, and personal integrity], to [fully] please Him in all things, bearing fruit in every good work and steadily growing in the knowledge of God [with deeper faith, clearer insight and fervent love for His precepts];
11[we pray that you may be] strengthened and invigorated with all power, according to His glorious might, to attain every kind of endurance and patience with joy; 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints (God’s people) in the Light.
13For He has rescued us and has drawn us to Himself from the dominion of darkness, and has transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, 14in whom we have redemption [because of His sacrifice, resulting in] the forgiveness of our sins [and the cancellation of sins’ penalty].
15He is the exact living image [the essential manifestation] of the unseen God [the visible representation of the invisible], the firstborn [the preeminent one, the sovereign, and the originator] of all creation. 16For by Him all things were created in heaven and on earth, [things] visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities;
all things were created and exist through Him [that is, by His activity] and for Him. 17And He Himself existed and is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. [His is the controlling, cohesive force of the universe.] 18He is also the head [the life-source and leader] of the body, the church;
and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will occupy the first place [He will stand supreme and be preeminent] in everything.19For it pleased the Father for all the fullness [of deity—the sum total of His essence, all His perfection, powers, and attributes] to dwell [permanently] in Him (the Son),
20and through [the intervention of] the Son to reconcile all things to Himself, making peace [with believers] through the blood of His cross; through Him, [I say,] whether things on earth or things in heaven.
Godly relationships are only possible because Christ’s saving work — planned before creation, fulfilled at the cross, and applied to us now — transforms how we see ourselves and others.
Every relationship is shaped by something…
by wounds, expectations, family background, culture, personality.
But Scripture teaches that the foundation of godly relationships is not our ability, but Christ’s identity and finished work.
His love for us — planned before we existed — becomes the pattern for how we love others.
BEFORE TIME — GOD CHOSE US IN LOVE
Revelation 13:8 — “The Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.”
Before we failed…
before we sinned…
before we could believe…
God already planned to redeem us.
The cross was not Plan B… It was God’s eternal plan of love.
Application to relationships:
Because God chose us before we deserved it,
we can choose to love others even when they don’t deserve it.
Godly relationships begin in grace, not performance.
For example: A couple struggling with bitterness attends counselling.
The breakthrough came not when they learned techniques,
but when they both realized:
“Forgiven people forgive.”
Only when they saw themselves as loved and forgiven in Christ,
could they rightly love each other.
Our horizontal relationships are only as healthy
as our understanding of God’s love.
IN TIME — CHRIST PAID THE PRICE
Christ’s love became visible at the cross.
1 John 4:10 - “Not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son…”
His love:
• Initiates
• Sacrifices
• Serves
This becomes the model for all Christian relationships.
John 13:34–35 - “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
Love is not defined by our feelings,
but by Jesus’ example.
Application:
Godly relationships require:
• Sacrifice
• Humility
• Forgiveness
• Presence
Because that’s how Jesus loved.
Application to relationships:
Can a 50/50 relationship work?
Luke 22:31-32 - “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” '
FOR ALL TIME — HIS LOVE NOW DEFINES US
Zechariah 3 gives a heavenly picture:
Joshua the high priest stands accused
• He is clothed in filthy garments
• Satan accuses
• The Lord removes the filthy clothing
• God clothes him with righteousness
This is the gospel applied.
Our new identity does not come from what we’ve done,
but from what God has put on us.
Application:
If God has declared me righteous,
then I don’t relate to others from:
• insecurity
• shame
• competition
• comparison
I relate from identity and rest.
Secure people can love deeply.
Insecure people use people.
Godly relationships flow from who we are in Christ.
RELATIONSHIPS TRANSFORMED BY IDENTITY
Because the gospel clothes us with righteousness:
We can forgive
We can see others through grace
We can speak truth in love
We can pursue reconciliation
We can build people up, not tear them down
1 John 4:11 - “Since God loved us, we also ought to love one another.”
God doesn’t ask us to give others what we don’t have
— He gives it first, then tells us to give it away.
THE ENEMY OPPOSES GODLY RELATIONSHIPS
In Zechariah 3:
• Satan stands to accuse
• He tries to define us by our past
• God silences him
Likewise, the enemy:
• Brings accusation
• Breeds division
• Fuels bitterness
But the Lord says:
“The LORD rebuke you!”
Godly relationships flourish when:
• Accusation is rejected
• Identity is in Christ
• Grace is extended
HOW DO WE LIVE THIS OUT?
Receive God’s love
Can’t give what you don’t have.
Walk in your new identity
You are clothed in Christ — not shame.
Love like Jesus loved
Practical:
• Listen
• Forgive
• Serve
• Speak truth in love
Resist accusation
Don’t let the enemy define your relationships.
THE BEAUTY OF GODLY RELATIONSHIPS
Godly relationships are supernatural:
• Planned before time
• Secured at the cross
• Empowered by the Spirit now
We don’t love from our capacity —
we love from His capacity in us.
Jesus is the source, model, and strength for Godly relationships.
When the world sees this love,
they see Him.
John 13:35 - “By this everyone will know you are My disciples…”