Bikers Church Cape Town

• Building Godly relationships #6

  Building Godly relationships #6 By Pastor George Lehman   Unforgiveness does a great deal more damage to the vessel in which it is stored than the object on which it is poured. If you mess up with this one, you mess up every relationship. You will never build Godly relationships.  It’s like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die… Ephesians 4:32 (Amp) - And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.                                      Somehow as God’s children, we’ve reserved the right to be disobedient and do our own thing when it suites us. The Greek word for forgiveness is Aphiemi: means: - Forsake, lay aside, leave, let alone, let be, let go.   God created human beings in His image so they can be friends - intimate, love-filled companions with Him and one another. To all the wonders that God created, human beings add an invention of their own … It’s almost like the law of Newton:  “For every infliction of pain, there must be an equal and opposite act of vengeance.” Genesis 4:23-24 (Amp) - Lamech said to his wives, Adah and Zillah, Hear my voice; you wives of Lamech, listen to what I say; for I have slain a man [merely] for wounding me, and a young man [only] for striking and bruising me.   If Cain is avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech [will be avenged] seventy-sevenfold.                Lamech kills a man for wounding him, he then says, “he will seek revenge – 77 x7 to anyone who hurts him.”  I call it ‘The Law of LAMECH’. If anyone inflicts pain or hurt on me, I must pay them back. The question is – does this law still exist today?  Sadly, the answer is, “it still does”. ‘REVENGE’ (You hurt me and I’ll hurt you back…) Shortly after this episode of Lamech, God views the violence, corruption, the hurt and pain that spread through the creatures He loved and says: Genesis 6:5-6 (Amp) - The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination and intention of all human thinking was only evil continually and the Lord regretted that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved at heart. God keeps giving His heart to the human race and they keep showing up at the function on somebody else’s arm. So, God who created in six days, has to create once more after the fall of man. God creates a kind of a spiritual surgery that can remove what is toxic to the heart and make dead relationships live again. This new creation is called…  ‘FORGIVENESS’ In some way His last, best gift to the human race.   It’s the only force strong enough to heal relationships – damaged by hatred and betrayal, hurt, bitterness and sin. Peter comes to Jesus and says:  “Someone has done me wrong, someone has hurt me.  I know I’m supposed to forgive them.  Why must I always be the one to forgive?  How many times should I forgive – 7 times?”   Matthew 18:21-22 (Amp) - Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go?  [As many as] up to seven times?  Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven! Peter is expecting Jesus to say:  “WOW Peter that’s magnanimous, that’s a call way beyond your duty”. You see, it’s not just anyone who hurt him – it’s a brother, one he trusted. The concern of Peter is felt by every one of us that’s been hurt or wronged or sinned against. Why should I forgive?  What if the other person doesn’t deserve it?  We know it’s the spiritual thing to do, but it doesn’t seem to work out for us in the real world. Imagine Peter’s response.  Instead of patting him on his back, Jesus tells Peter he still has 483 acts of forgiveness to go.  Why 70x7? Because by the time you get to 320 times, it’s becoming a good habit in your life. Jesus is reversing ‘The law of Lamech’ The point Jesus is making:  There are 2 ways to live with hurt: 1.  The way of vengeance, or 2.  The way of forgiveness The 1st way leads to death. The 2nd way leads to life. Here are some real-life changing truths of forgiveness: - You can’t get ahead while you’re trying to get even. - There is no revenge as sweet as forgiveness. - We should forgive and then forget what we have forgiven. Never is God operating more effectively and so strong in your life as when you release revenge and dare to forgive an injury, a wrong, a hurt or a sin against you. - It’s far better to forgive & forget than to hate & remember. - Forgiveness may not change the past, but it will enlarge the future. Unforgiveness is the cholesterol of the heart – it slows the flow of peace, joy, blessings and a victorious, free life. I mean really, if you want to be miserable, don’t forgive people. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you. Think about this: Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the high cost of hatred and the waste of energy. A person who cannot forgive has forgotten how great a debt God has forgiven them. For many Christians, unforgiveness is often hidden under other words that sound more acceptable: I’m not angry; I’m just hurt. Emotional hurt has its roots in unforgiveness.  We wouldn’t dream of walking with unforgiveness for months.  Hurt is part of the torment of unforgiveness. Jesus said: Matthew 18:35 (Amp) - So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses. Another key to unforgiveness is this phrase:  I can forgive, but I can’t forget. “What’s the matter with you?” growled a man at his wife.  “Why do you keep talking about that mistake I made?  I thought you said you had forgiven and forgotten?” “I have forgiven and forgotten,” snapped the wife.  “But I just don’t want you to forget that I have forgiven and forgotten.” People have even said (hiding behind the Bible) “I’ll forgive him/her because God is going to punish him/her.” I know Rom 12:19 says: Romans 12:19 (Amp) - Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God’s] wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord.   But we are warned not to rejoice: Proverbs 24:17-18 (Amp) - 17Rejoice not when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles or is overthrown, 18Lest the Lord see it and it be evil in His eyes and displease Him, and He turn away His wrath from him [to expend it upon you, the worse offender].   We’ve been discussing - the importance of forgiveness and building Godly relationships, let me ask you this question: How do you understand and interpret these scriptures: We live in a culture where we don’t always mean what we say.   Luke 17:3-4 (Amp) - 3Pay attention and be on your guard [looking out for one another].  If your brother sins (misses the mark), solemnly tell him so and reprove him, and if he repents (feels sorry for having sinned), forgive him.  4And even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and turns to you seven times and says, I repent [I am sorry], you must forgive him (give up resentment and consider the offense as recalled and annulled).   Mark 11:25 (Amp) - And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failing and shortcomings and let them drop.                             Matthew 6:14-15 (Amp) - 14For If you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment](wrok), your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], NEITHER will your Father forgive you your trespasses. Forgiveness is God’s greatest plan for ‘Building Godly relationships. I wonder how many Christians would want God to forgive them in the same way they have forgiven others.  Forgiveness: You don’t give, you don’t get! Galatians 6:1 (Msg) - Live creatively, friends, If someone falls into sin forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself.  You might be needing forgiveness before the day is out.                           Luke 17:5 (Amp) – The apostles said to the Lord, increase our faith (that trust and confidence that springs from our belief in God). We are going to trust God for release and give us victory over unforgiveness in our life.  To past and maybe present relationships which you are holding against others?  Trust the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart.

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• Building Godly Relationships #5  | Pastor George Lehman

  Building Godly relationships #5 By Pastor George Lehman   “I only love God as much as I love the person whom I love the least.” This is a How do I make it work or not work service?  Faults are thick where love is thin. Matthew 23:23-24 (Amp) - Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, pretenders (hypocrites)!  For you give a tenth of your mint and dill and cummin and have neglected and omitted the weightier (more important) matters of the Law – right and justice and mercy and fidelity.  These you ought [particularly] to have done, without neglecting the others.   You blind guides, filtering out a gnat and gulping down a camel!   Luke 6:42 (NIV) - How can you say to your brother, Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye, when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.                   The history recorded in a museum in Nantucket island: It was about an organization formed centuries ago.  In those days, travel by sea was extremely dangerous because of the storms and the rocks along their Atlantic coast. Many lives were lost within a 1,5 km distance of land.  So, a group of volunteers went into the lifesaving business.  They called themselves the Human Society. These people built little huts along the shoreline.  They had people watching the sea all the time.  Whenever a ship went down, the word would go out.  They would devote everything to save every life they could.  They did not put themselves at risk for money, fame or recognition - only because they prized human life. To remind them of what was at stake, they adopted this motto: “You have to go out, but you don’t have to come back” Not such a great recruiting slogan, but it was. So many accounts and testimonies of people who would risk everything – even their lives to save people they had never met. Over the years things changed.  The U.S. Coast Guard eventually took over.  Their saying was “Let the professionals do it.”  They were better equipped, better trained and paid for it.  Volunteers stopped manning the life saving huts; they stopped looking out for shipwrecks.  They could never get themselves to disband the life-saving society.  They still get together once in a while, but to have dinner and a chat.  They enjoy one another’s’ company.  The point is, “They’re just not in the life saving business anymore”. Here are some truths about this story: Live saving relationship building is not just the function of the pastor or leaders or those that are on fire for Jesus. We are all in the life saving Godly relationship building business. We don’t always see it, because we are so pre-occupied with our own life. I mean It’s a professional job after all Oh yes!!. People around us have mini shipwrecks everyday: They have family fights, mess up at work, children fail at school, make foolish financial choices, have bad habits and choices causing personal low self esteem, they fail, are hurt, disappointed.  The list just goes on… So much has been left by so many to so few. Our lifelines mostly are words that we offer to people. Our words offer: - acceptance, - love and - hope BUT… Our words have the ability to: - judge, - condemn, - wound, - be critical, - unkind and - degrading Romans 15:7 (NIV) - Accept one another…                  Accept is an action from my side to accept people; to be there for them; to say they are valuable and precious and that you long for the best for them. Just note that it doesn’t mean to approve of everything they do. Here’s a story of Jesus, a woman and a bunch of stone throwers: John 8:3-11 (NLT) 3“As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. 4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?” 6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. 9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” 11 “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” Like the paralytic, she is brought to Jesus, not on a mat, but wrapped in sheets.  It’s the same purpose, but totally different attitudes: One was for Jesus to heal. One was for Jesus to approve her killing. Before you judge these guys too quickly… Question:  Have you ever held a stone in your hand…? As Christians we can be great stone throwers: - You go through life with judgmental thoughts - A superior attitude - Impatient words - Bitterness – unforgiveness - Not much room for love - Expressing a critical, condemning attitude about individuals - Saying something about someone in a way, that you would not want the other person to hear. There are so many trembling, fear filled, guilt ridden, brokenness and lost ness around you, BUT it doesn’t move you – you don’t even notice, because you’re caught up in your own self-righteousness, pride and judgmentalism. There is no room for stone throwing in Jesus’ plan for Godly relationship building. The reason is: We are all too guilty!’ Phillip Yancey says: Jesus’ audience would have divided people into 2 categories: Sinners (like the woman) Righteous (like the men)   YET… Jesus in one brilliant stroke replaces them with two different categories: Sinners who admit Sinners who deny Ask yourself the question when you are tempted to pick up a stone or see a speck: Why do I take pleasure or feel the need to do this? 2. What am I running away from in my own life? 3. Am I guilty of some of these issues? 4. What good will this do me and those who listen? If you say you are serious about Building Godly relationships.  (It’s not optional, it’s a command.)  ‘Because God truly is.’   Then when you get the urge to throw a rock or pick a speck, look within and ask: What do I need to work on myself? Where have I failed in the past? Let us get back into the lifesaving business: ‘Building Godly relationships’ Ephesians 4:29 (Amp) - Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as if fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it

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• Building Godly Relationships #4  | Pastor George Lehman

  Building Godly relationships #4 By Pastor George Lehman What a big difference there is between giving advice and lending a hand.   We even give advice that we are not willing to follow. 1 John 3:18 (LB) - “Little children, let us stop just saying we love people, let us really love them and show it by our actions.” How many happy selfish people do you know? A psychiatrist, dr. Carl Menninger, was asked, “What advice would you give to a person to do if he felt a nervous breakdown coming on?”  He answered, “Not to consult a psychiatrist.  Lock up your house, go across the railroad, find someone in need and do something to help that person.” The best way to forget your troubles is to help others out of theirs. At the Seattle Special Olympics, 9 contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash. At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a determination to run the race to the finish and win.  All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy cry.  They slowed down and looked back.  Then they all turned around and went back … every one of them.  One girl with Down’s Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said, “This will make it better.”  Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line. Everyone in the stadium stood, the cheering went on for several minutes.  People who were there are still retelling the story.  Why would this move the hearts of the people? Because deep down in all of us we know this one thing:  it’s the way God has wired us up. What matters in this life, what’s of greater worth and value more than just winning for ourselves.  What really matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course.  “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”   I want to talk about: The fellowship of the Mat Mark 2:1-5 (Amp) - And Jesus having returned to Capernaum, after some days it was rumored about that He was in the house [probably Peter’s]. 2And so many people gathered together there that there was no longer room [for them], not even around the door; and He was discussing the Word.  3Then they came, bringing a paralytic to Him, who had been picked up and was being carried by four men. 4And when they could not get him to a place in front of Jesus because of the throng, they dug through the roof above Him; and when they had scooped out an opening, they let down the [thickly padded] quilt or mat upon which the paralyzed man lay.  5And when Jesus saw their faith [their confidence in God through Him], He said to the paralyzed man, Son, your sins are forgiven [you] and put away [that is, the penalty is remitted, the sense of guilt removed, and you are made upright and in right standing with God]. One of the greatest stories in the bible about relationships, about real people having real relationships. We see a paralyzed man with friends who were willing to care.  People who took “Building Godly relationships” seriously. The person paralyzed was confined to a mat 2m x 1m most of his life. What did he have?  You know what he had – Godly relationship builders. This whole story takes place because of his friends.  Without his friends he never makes it to Jesus: Never gets healed Never gets forgiven The story possibly never gets told Yet, here are a few “Godly relationship builders” who refused to let any obstacle stop them. In the face of formidable obstacles, social and peer pressure, stigma, inconvenience, high cost of time and energy, they chose to put a High Value on their relationship. Here’s an important lesson to us all: You cannot microwave relationships. You cannot have relationships in a hurry. You can’t listen in a hurry – mourn or rejoice or build meaningful friendships in a hurry. We become so busy with our jobs, careers, making money, making a living – in our own little world. All about ME, that we neglect the one most valuable possession God placed in us – to build “Godly relationships”.  Boy, are we going to be accountable to God one day or WHAT?! The truth is in every one of our lives we all have a mat.   The mat stands for: Our human brokenness. - Our imperfections. - Our failures, our attitudes. It’s all the “what’s not NORMAL about me”. The things we desire to hide about ourselves Maybe your mat is your: Temper – you can’t control. Maybe it’s fear – fear of failure, Fear of the future, fear of past events in your life, fear of hurt. Maybe you are unable to trust people. Maybe it’s a personal secret of some awful habit or something you are still guilty about. The problem is – most people do “Mat Management”. They notice everyone else’s mat and act as though they don’t have a mat. It’s only IN relationships when we allow others to see our mat. If you’re not involved in a ministry, how will you cope with your mat.  When we give and receive help with each other, that’s when healing becomes possible. Wherever human beings love, accept, respect and serve each other, in the face of weakness, is where real “Godly Relationships” are built. If you want to “build Godly relationships” you can’t always be the strong one.  You will have to learn to let somebody else carry your mat. There has to be trust between friends.  Imagine this paralytic – how he had to trust his friends to lower him through a roof to get to Jesus. Jesus looks up and sees the faces of 4 men looking to him. Mark 2:5 (Amp) – When He saw their* faith, He said to the paralytic, “Son your sins are forgiven”. *Note – not the one on the mat’s faith their FAITH. Galatians 6:2 says carry one another’s burdens As a result of your obedience someone could be set free, think about that. Mark 2:11 (Amp) - I say to you, arise, pick up and carry your sleeping pad or mat, and be going on home. I believe Jesus saw “the building of Godly relationships” in action. There where unity is, a blessing is commanded, and deliverance and healing flows freely. God wants us to stand in the gap for one another. That’s relationship. The truth is, the more spiritually mature you grow, the more you’ll find your heart been drawn to…“Building Godly relationships” So many times, it’s the longer saved Christians who grumble complain and judge the most and do the least especially many times this happens with leaders “I mean I am the leader so respect me” Being there, standing in the gap, carrying one another’s mats will cost you something, but the reward of seeing someone set free is worth it. Close: 1 John 3:18 (LB) - “little children, let us stop just saying we love people, let us really love them (carry their mat) and show it by our actions.”

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• Building Godly Relationships #3 – Rooted in the Eternal Work of Christ

  “Godly Relationships #3: Rooted in the Eternal Work of Christ” Pastor Kobus Massyn Colossians 1:9-20 9For this reason, since the day we heard about it, we have not stopped praying for you, asking [specifically] that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom [with insight into His purposes], and in understanding [of spiritual things], 10so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord [displaying admirable character, moral courage, and personal integrity], to [fully] please Him in all things, bearing fruit in every good work and steadily growing in the knowledge of God [with deeper faith, clearer insight and fervent love for His precepts]; 11[we pray that you may be] strengthened and invigorated with all power, according to His glorious might, to attain every kind of endurance and patience with joy; 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints (God’s people) in the Light. 13For He has rescued us and has drawn us to Himself from the dominion of darkness, and has transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, 14in whom we have redemption [because of His sacrifice, resulting in] the forgiveness of our sins [and the cancellation of sins’ penalty]. 15He is the exact living image [the essential manifestation] of the unseen God [the visible representation of the invisible], the firstborn [the preeminent one, the sovereign, and the originator] of all creation. 16For by Him all things were created in heaven and on earth, [things] visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities; all things were created and exist through Him [that is, by His activity] and for Him. 17And He Himself existed and is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. [His is the controlling, cohesive force of the universe.] 18He is also the head [the life-source and leader] of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will occupy the first place [He will stand supreme and be preeminent] in everything.19For it pleased the Father for all the fullness [of deity—the sum total of His essence, all His perfection, powers, and attributes] to dwell [permanently] in Him (the Son), 20and through [the intervention of] the Son to reconcile all things to Himself, making peace [with believers] through the blood of His cross; through Him, [I say,] whether things on earth or things in heaven. Godly relationships are only possible because Christ’s saving work — planned before creation, fulfilled at the cross, and applied to us now — transforms how we see ourselves and others. Every relationship is shaped by something… by wounds, expectations, family background, culture, personality. But Scripture teaches that the foundation of godly relationships is not our ability, but Christ’s identity and finished work. His love for us — planned before we existed — becomes the pattern for how we love others. BEFORE TIME — GOD CHOSE US IN LOVE Revelation 13:8 — “The Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.” Before we failed… before we sinned… before we could believe… God already planned to redeem us. The cross was not Plan B… It was God’s eternal plan of love. Application to relationships: Because God chose us before we deserved it, we can choose to love others even when they don’t deserve it. Godly relationships begin in grace, not performance. For example: A couple struggling with bitterness attends counselling. The breakthrough came not when they learned techniques, but when they both realized: “Forgiven people forgive.” Only when they saw themselves as loved and forgiven in Christ, could they rightly love each other. Our horizontal relationships are only as healthy as our understanding of God’s love. IN TIME — CHRIST PAID THE PRICE Christ’s love became visible at the cross. 1 John 4:10 - “Not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son…” His love: • Initiates • Sacrifices • Serves This becomes the model for all Christian relationships. John 13:34–35  - “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Love is not defined by our feelings, but by Jesus’ example. Application: Godly relationships require: • Sacrifice • Humility • Forgiveness • Presence Because that’s how Jesus loved. Application to relationships: Can a 50/50 relationship work? Luke 22:31-32  - “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” ' FOR ALL TIME — HIS LOVE NOW DEFINES US Zechariah 3 gives a heavenly picture: Joshua the high priest stands accused • He is clothed in filthy garments • Satan accuses • The Lord removes the filthy clothing • God clothes him with righteousness This is the gospel applied. Our new identity does not come from what we’ve done, but from what God has put on us. Application: If God has declared me righteous, then I don’t relate to others from: • insecurity • shame • competition • comparison I relate from identity and rest. Secure people can love deeply. Insecure people use people. Godly relationships flow from who we are in Christ. RELATIONSHIPS TRANSFORMED BY IDENTITY Because the gospel clothes us with righteousness: We can forgive We can see others through grace We can speak truth in love We can pursue reconciliation We can build people up, not tear them down 1 John 4:11 - “Since God loved us, we also ought to love one another.” God doesn’t ask us to give others what we don’t have — He gives it first, then tells us to give it away. THE ENEMY OPPOSES GODLY RELATIONSHIPS In Zechariah 3: • Satan stands to accuse • He tries to define us by our past • God silences him Likewise, the enemy: • Brings accusation • Breeds division • Fuels bitterness But the Lord says: “The LORD rebuke you!” Godly relationships flourish when: • Accusation is rejected • Identity is in Christ • Grace is extended HOW DO WE LIVE THIS OUT? Receive God’s love Can’t give what you don’t have. Walk in your new identity You are clothed in Christ — not shame. Love like Jesus loved Practical: • Listen • Forgive • Serve • Speak truth in love Resist accusation Don’t let the enemy define your relationships. THE BEAUTY OF GODLY RELATIONSHIPS Godly relationships are supernatural: • Planned before time • Secured at the cross • Empowered by the Spirit now We don’t love from our capacity — we love from His capacity in us. Jesus is the source, model, and strength for Godly relationships. When the world sees this love, they see Him. John 13:35 - “By this everyone will know you are My disciples…”

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• Building Godly Relationships #2

  Building Godly Relationships #2 Responding to Truth By Pastor Kobus Massyn 9/11/2025   John 14:6 — I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.   Jesus is the ultimate truth-teller. His correction is loving, redemptive, restoring. Jesus taught that every strong relationship, with God and with people, is built on truth. Truth invites a response. How we respond determines the strength or ruin of our relationships. Jesus ends the Sermon on the Mount by saying: Matt 7:24–27 - “Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does them…” The difference between house standing or falling is not hearing — everyone hears — it’s responding. To build healthy, God-honoring relationships, we must learn to respond rightly to truth. We read about these three responses to truth: Wise response Foolish response Evil/Destructive response And how these shape our relationships. THE WISE RESPONSE: Receive truth & Adjust Yourself   Matthew 7:24–25 - The wise man hears and practices—his house stands.   Psalm 141:5 - “Let a righteous man strike me—that is a kindness… let him rebuke me—it is oil on my head.”   The wise person: Welcomes truth Sees correction as kindness Adjusts himself Grows The wise person says: “YOU are right — I will change.” This is humility. It strengthens trust — and trust strengthens relationships. Nathan and David — 2 Samuel 12 When Nathan confronted David about his sin, David repented immediately. This restored his relationship with God and kept his destiny intact. Other Supporting Scriptures Prov 12:1 — Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge Prov 13:10 — Pride leads to conflict; wisdom is found in those who take advice Heb 12:11 — Discipline yields righteous fruit Practical Example Your spouse / friend tells you: “You are harsh with your words.” A wise response: “Thank you. I didn’t see it. I will work on it.”   Even if the delivery isn’t perfect, the wise person finds the truth, accepts it, and grows. RESULT → relationship deeper, stronger THE FOOLISH RESPONSE: Argue & Adjust the Truth   Eph 5:15 - So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.   Proverbs 9:7–8 - Do not correct a scoffer; he will hate you. Correct a wise man, he will love you.   The foolish person: Hears truth But debates it Argues about it Adjusts it to protect himself Rationalizes & justifies He says: “I am right. YOU change.” This response breaks trust. It weakens relationships because truth can’t build where it’s resisted. King Saul — blamed the people, refused responsibility (1 Sam 15) When confronted by Samuel, Saul defended himself and shifted blame — He refused correction → he lost his kingdom. Prov 14:12 — There is a way that seems right to a man… end is death Prov 15:5 — A fool rejects his father’s discipline… A friend says: “You gossip a lot; it hurts others.” Foolish response: “I only speak truth — and why do you care? Others do worse!” They protect ego, not relationship. RESULT → relationship damaged, growth blocked   THE EVIL RESPONSE: Attack & Reject / Walk Away   Titus 3:10 - Warn a divisive person once, then twice; after that, have nothing to do with them.   The evil / hardened responder doesn’t just reject truth — he sees truth as a threat. He may: Cut relationship Attack the messenger Spread division Leave rather than repent He says: “YOU are the problem — I reject both truth AND you.” John 8 When Jesus speaks truth, the pharisees feel threatened... They seek to kill Him instead of change. Mark 10 The rich young ruler walked away from Jesus because truth threatened his lifestyle. Other Scriptures 2 Tim 4:3 — people rejecting sound doctrine Prov 29:1 — one who hardens his neck will be broken beyond remedy Practical Example A pastor lovingly confronts someone living in sin. Evil response: “You are judging me! I’m done with this church!” They walk away from truth and relationship. RESULT = separation, destruction   HOW THIS RELATES TO GODLY RELATIONSHIPS   Love shares Truth and Truth builds relationships. But only if we respond in love also. Response Attitude Effect on Relationship Wise Adjust myself Strengthens Foolish Adjust truth Damages Evil Reject truth & relationship Destroys Where truth is received → relationships flourish Where truth is debated → relationships suffer Where truth is rejected → relationships end   OUR DESIRE IS TO BUILT GODLY RELATIONSHIPS   Rom 8:5 - For those who are living according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh [which gratify the body], but those who are living according to the Spirit, [set their minds on] the things of the Spirit [His will and purpose].   1 Cor 2:6-7 - Yet we do speak wisdom among those spiritually mature [believers who have teachable hearts and a greater understanding]; but [it is a higher] wisdom not [the wisdom] of this present age nor of the rulers and leaders of this age, who are passing away; but we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the wisdom once hidden [from man, but now revealed to us by God, that wisdom] which God predestined before the ages to our glory [to lift us into the glory of His presence].     HOW TO CULTIVATE A WISE HEART   Love first John 13:35 - By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love and unselfish concern for one another.”   2) Pray for teachability Psalm 51:10 - Create in me a clean heart   3) Slow to speak James 1:19–20 - …quick to listen   4) Listen for truth, not tone Even imperfect rebuke may contain truth. 5) Invite correction Prov 27:6 - Faithful are the wounds of a friend   Ask: “What do you see in my life I can grow in?” Practice repentance   Repentance = changing direction — not defending yourself If we want godly relationships, we must be the kind of people who respond well to truth.

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