Confrontation is hard. But avoiding it is harder—on your peace, your relationships, and your self-respect. In this episode, explore how to get better at having tough conversations. We’ll look to Aristotle, Joan Didion, and the Gottman institute’s world-renowned research on conflict to create a roadmap for navigating confrontation without abandoning yourself or bulldozing anyone else. If you spiral after hitting send, avoid awkward conversations for weeks while playing out fake arguments in the shower, or disassociate every time someone says “we need to talk,” this one's for you.EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 05:19 1. The correlation between confrontation and respect 06:27 Joan Didion On Self Respect 08:47 The trolley problem (Foote)14:33 2. Approaching confrontation practically 16:33 Phronesis (Aristotle) 18:35 Kant’s categorical imperative20:50 Thich Nhat Hanh’s three gates 23:27 3. Confrontation dos and don’ts23:49 the Gottman institute 24:44 Confrontation don’ts26:14 Confrontation dos26:17 The magic ratio for healthy relationships26:53 Bids for attention27:59 Soft startups 29:08 Repair attempts32:09 Lightning round recapMENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Joan Didion, On Self Respect (Vogue, 1961) Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics (c. 350 BCE) Immanuel Kant, Groundwork for the Metaphysics of Morals (1785) Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Art of Communicating (2013) Drs. John & Julie Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999)MY LINKS MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop Join the waitlist for future retreats! Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok
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35:48
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35:48
5 Habits of Great Conversationalists
Want to become a better conversationalist? You should! Good conversations can open doors, build friendships, and even change your life. But in an age of goldfish attention spans, hot takes, and chronic fear of being seen, real connection is harder than ever. The good news? Conversation is an art, but it’s also a science. In this episode, we walk through 5 things great conversationalists do differently, according to philosophy and psychology. If you want to feel less robotic on dates, network without cringing, vibe better with your friends, or just not panic when someone says “tell me about yourself,” this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE:00:00 Intro04:07 1. Seeing conversation as a skill11:03 2. Starting lots of conversations18:30 3. Asking more questions25:06 4. Leaving room for the unexpected29:08 5. Expecting reality, not hyperreality 33:27 Lightning round recap 36:19 Challenge MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Simulacra and Simulation, Jean Baudrillard (1981)TALK: The Science of Conversation and The Art of Being Ourselves, Alison Wood Brooks (2025)
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38:11
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38:11
How to Get Unstuck Post-Crash Out
Feeling stuck, numb, or overwhelmed? Crashing out for the third time this week? Good news! Philosophy, the sad girl discipline of academia, has lots of advice for you. This episode breaks down 5 reasons why we get stuck according to philosophical greats like Franz Kafka, Soren Kierkegaard, Jean Paul Sartre, Albert Camus and more. We’ll talk about practical strategies to climb out of your spiral and start feeling like yourself again. If your search history includes ‘why am I like this’ and ‘how to feel okay again,’ press play.EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro 04:53 You’re stuck because…05:00 1. You’re free 05:18 The dizziness of freedom (Kierkegaard)06:04 We’re condemned to be free (Sartre)07:13 The fig tree allegory (Sylvia Plath)13:21 2. You’re choosing information over experience 13:35 Mary’s Room hypothetical (Jackson)22:49 3. You’ve outgrown a version of yourself23:02 The Metamorphosis (Kafka) 26:54 4. You’re expecting sense in senseless places27:04 The Trial (Kafka)35:14 5. You think nothing matters 35:24 Mechanical life (Camus)36:34 The moment of the absurd (Camus)37:13 The myth of Sisyphus (Camus) 40:08 Lightning round recap MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: On Anxiety, Soren Kierkegaard (1844)Being and Nothingness, Jean Paul Sartre (1943)The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath (1963)The Big Secret, Deepak Chopra (2008)Epiphenomenal Qualia, Frank Jackson (1982) The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka (1915)The Trial, Franz Kafka (1925)The Myth of Sisyphus, Albert Camus (1942)
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45:23
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45:23
Nietzsche’s 3 Steps to Soul-Deep Transformation
19th century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed every transformation followed a sacred three-step pattern. In this episode, we walk through the three metamorphoses of the soul from Nietzsche’s 1883 work Thus Spoke Zarathustra. We’ll talk about why a chapter of chaos might be necessary to become your fullest, truest self, and how Nietzsche’s stages apply to modern life. This episode is for you if you're experiencing or anticipating a big shift, no matter whether it relates to your career, relationships, creativity, spirituality, identity, or everything at once. If you’re feeling lost, restless, or ready for reinvention, this one’s for you.EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro06:34 The camel spirit 11:32 The lion spirit 17:25 The child spirit 25:40 Lightning round recap 26:43 ChallengeMY LINKS• MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now• Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop• Join the waitlist for future retreats! • Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram • Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok
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30:48
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30:48
Smart Girl Summer Toolkit
Thought daughters, this one’s for you. This episode is your guide to keeping your mind fed all summer long. In it, I share the note-taking system that’s changing my life, a 10 minute morning routine that primes your brain for creative work, recs for intellectually stimulating podcasts, books, and newsletters, and more. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro02:14 1. Take notes 06:57 2. Write by hand08:42 3. Get out of your echo chamber11:01 4. Remember the Zeigarnik effect 14:54 5. Change your conversation norms18:08 6. Practice hard attention21:11 7. 10 minute morning rule22:33 8. Chew your brain food23:54 9. Show what you don’t know26:20 Newsletter recs 27:41 Philosophy podcast recs28:08 Poetry recs29:40 Lightning round recap
A self-development podcast with philosophical, psychological and literary flair hosted by Victoria Hutchins, the creator of @thedailyvictorian. Giving your soul something to chew on every Sunday.
New Zealand