Congruent with Lisa Carpenter | The truth beneath success. Why it never feels like enough.

Why do successful people feel the most overwhelmed during the holidays? You've built something impressive, you're capable of managing complex projects and leading teams, yet the moment the holidays arrive, you're barely hanging on. You're over-functioning for everyone else, saying yes when you mean no, and by the time you collapse into bed, your mind won't stop racing about everything you still need to do tomorrow. Who is Sara Intonato? Sara Intonato is the founder of Autism Changemakers, a parent coach, consultant, and bestselling author. She's also been a yoga teacher and nervous system practitioner for over 20 years. Her work is rooted in ancient, time-tested practices from her 11 trips to India to study Ashtanga yoga, supporting parents of nonspeaking autistic children to regulate their nervous systems in high-stakes moments where safety is a concern and regulation isn't optional. Sara's Story: Why Ancient Practices Matter in Our Instant Gratification World Sara took her first trip to India in her early 20s thinking she'd have a beautiful spiritual experience and get it out of her system. Instead, she discovered that to truly master something, there's no shortcut. You can't buy a certificate or complete a weekend training. You have to show up day after day, year after year, and let the practice change you. What makes Sara different from the trendy breathwork facilitators flooding the coaching space is her commitment to teaching these practices properly. In India, she learned that advanced breathwork practices were withheld from students until they had a strong foundation because introducing them too soon would be "crazy making." They would move energy around so profoundly that students wouldn't be able to manage it. This is exactly what Sara sees happening now in mainstream wellness culture. Coaches are throwing breathwork into their programs after minimal training, parents and professionals are trying to release trauma without knowing how to regulate what comes up, and people are more dysregulated than ever. Sara brings these ancient tools to her clients and students in bite-sized pieces that are safe and effective for all levels, because who needs more chaos in their life right now? What we talk about in this episode: Why the holidays trigger grief and overwhelm for high achievers. It's not just about being busy. The holidays stir up emotions that feel inconvenient, whether it's comparing your reality to what you thought life would look like, dealing with family dynamics that activate old wounds, or simply the pressure to make everything magical while you're running on fumes. This episode normalizes that you can feel successful and still struggle during this season. The one-minute breathing practice that will ground you anywhere, anytime. Equal breathing through the nose (four counts in, four counts out) for just one minute is enough to shift your nervous system from reactive to regulated. No special equipment, no mantras, no perfect conditions required. Sara explains exactly how to do this practice and why engaging your throat slightly (like you're gargling) activates your vagus nerve and creates deeper regulation. Why you can't help anyone when you're dysregulated. Sara works with parents managing aggressive behaviors and safety concerns with their children. The homework is always the same: regulate yourself first. When you're dysregulated, you escalate everyone around you. When you ground yourself, you create space for co-regulation. This applies whether you're parenting, leading a team, or trying to survive Christmas dinner with your in-laws. The ice cube trick that interrupts spiraling thoughts instantly. When you can't escape the room or take a minute to breathe, grab some ice cubes. Hold them for one minute. The intense sensation forces you into presence because you literally can't think about anything else. It's a pattern interrupt that brings you back to your body so you can respond instead of react. How to train your mind to concentrate using Zen Buddhist meditation. Set a timer for five minutes and count each breath (inhale one, exhale two, up to ten, then start over). Every time your mind wanders to Aunt Patty's comment or your to-do list, go back to one and start again. Don't be surprised if you don't get past two. This isn't about perfection, it's about observing where your mind goes without judgment and teaching it to concentrate on one thing: your breath. Why reactivity is destroying our ability to make good decisions. We live in an Amazon Prime culture where everything is instant. But this reactivity is getting in the way of our functioning. We think every thought and feeling requires immediate action. This practice teaches your nervous system that it's okay to sit with discomfort, to not scratch the itchy nose, to let your foot fall asleep during meditation. Everything will pass. You won't die from waiting. The real reason you can't feel holiday magic (and it's not the circumstances). Holiday magic is just presence. That's it. But how can you possibly enjoy being here now when your mind is in five different places? Sara shares how she creates magic by putting on Christmas music, baking, and allowing herself to just be in the moment because life will be plenty busy in January. The magic isn't external fairy dust, it's choosing to be present. What your kids will actually remember about this season. It's not how many vegetables they ate or how organized the gift wrapping was. They'll remember how you felt. Your energy is what people experience from you. If you're emanating stress and overwhelm, that's what everyone will carry from their interactions with you. The quality of your life, your relationships, your work changes drastically when you take the time to regulate yourself. This episode is for you if you've ever: Felt like you're barely hanging on through the holidays, one comment away from snapping Snapped at your kids or partner after a long day, then felt guilty for not being present Numbed with food, wine, or scrolling because slowing down feels uncomfortable Thought "I don't have time for mindfulness or nervous system practices" Believed meditation and breathwork are too complicated or not for people like you Been the strong one everyone leans on while you're quietly crumbling inside Said yes to holiday commitments when you meant no because it feels easier Collapsed into bed exhausted but your mind won't stop racing about tomorrow Wondered "how much longer can I keep this up?" Known you should take better care of yourself but always run out of time and energy Built a life people admire but feel like you're missing the magic everyone else seems to experience Felt reactive and stressed, robbing yourself and your family of presence and connection How to Stop Being Reactive and Start Being Present Here's what most people miss about nervous system regulation: they think it requires complicated practices, special training, or hours of time they don't have. So they do nothing. They stay in reactivity, they over-function for everyone else, and they wonder why the holidays feel so overwhelming instead of magical. But Sara's work proves that regulation doesn't require perfection or massive time investments. It requires one minute. Four counts in, four counts out. Ice cubes in your hands when you can't escape the room. Counting your breath when your mind is spinning. The cost of staying dysregulated isn't just that you feel stressed. It's that your children remember mom as a ball of stress. Your colleagues remember your overwhelm, not your competence. Your partner experiences your reactivity, not your love. You rob yourself of the presence and connection you're craving because you think you don't have time to regulate. Ready to stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling present? If you're reading this and recognizing yourself, if you've been running on fumes for so long that you don't even remember what regulated feels like, it's time to stop. The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in over-functioning and reactivity, the wounds driving your need to be strong for everyone else, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside. This isn't about adding more to your plate. It's about understanding why you keep saying yes when you mean no, why you can't give yourself permission to rest, and what needs to shift so you can finally stop running and start being present. How To Thrive Through The Silly Season Workbook: https://lisacarpenter.ca/holidays/ Book your free Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit And if you know you need more than a 15-minute call, if you're craving a complete reset where you can step away from the noise and actually remember who you are beneath all the doing, Sara and I are taking a small group on a walking pilgrimage along the Camino in Spain in September 2026.  Learn more HERE This isn't a vacation. It's a sacred reset. Six days walking more than 100 kilometers with daily coaching, integration circles, yoga, breathwork, and deep conversations that help you release what's been weighing you down. Spaces are intentionally limited to ensure intimacy and depth of support. When it fills, it closes. Learn more at lisacarpenter.ca. Connect with Sara Intonato: Website: https://www.saraintonato.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sara.intonato/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sara-intonato-23036b172   If you listen on Spotify:  Open the Spotify app on your phone. Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page. Tap the three dots under the podcast description. Choose Rate show from the menu. Select your star rating and tap Submit. This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good, it finally feels right.

Why do I feel exhausted even though I'm successful? You've built something impressive. You've proven yourself over and over. But you're exhausted, your body is breaking down, and no matter how much you achieve, it never feels like enough. You're the strong one everyone leans on, but you're quietly wondering how much longer you can keep this up. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. This is the hidden cost of being strong, and it's exactly what today's guest, Alex Snider, lived through before everything came crashing down. Who is Alex Snider? Alex Snider is the founder of Leaders Who Build, a leadership development company working with founders and executives who are scaling fast but struggling to lead themselves through it. Alex helps her clients integrate strategy with self-awareness so they can grow their businesses without losing themselves in the process. She's a certified executive coach who knows this terrain intimately because she's walked through it herself. Alex's Story: When Strength Becomes Your Prison During COVID, Alex was tripling her company in 10 months. On the outside, she was crushing it. But her back was in constant pain for 12 months straight. Her business partnership had turned toxic. Her personal relationship was unhealthy. She was over-giving in every direction, having emotional reactions that would take her out for days, and her body was physically breaking down from carrying the weight of it all. Alex had gone from being hyper-independent and emotionally unavailable to swinging completely to the other extreme: over-functioning, people-pleasing, and seeking partnerships to fill the gaps she believed existed in herself. She was operating from scarcity, not abundance. She was trying to earn love by being helpful and valuable enough. And she was attracting emotionally unavailable people so she could over-compensate by being the caretaker. The breakthrough came when Alex realized she was having outsized emotional reactions because she had given every ounce of energy to everyone else. There was nothing left for her. She had to face the uncomfortable truth: her patterns of over-functioning weren't making her a better leader or partner. They were destroying her health, her relationships, and her ability to feel the success she'd built. What we talk about in this episode: How over-functioning creates under-functioning in others. When you're constantly doing everything, carrying all the weight, and being the strong one, you're actually teaching the people around you to do less. You create the exact dynamic you resent. What it's like to attract emotionally unavailable people when you're trying to earn love. Alex shares how her pattern of seeking partners from scarcity (looking for people to fill her perceived gaps) versus partnering from abundance completely shifted once she did the deep work on her worthiness. The moment you wish someone would save you while hating yourself for even thinking it. This is the rock bottom moment for high-functioning, capable people. When you're so exhausted that you just want someone to rescue you, and you despise yourself for having that thought because you're supposed to be strong. Why your "buttons" getting pushed reveals your unhealed wounds. Alex explains how the people closest to us push our buttons not because they're trying to hurt us, but because they're the only ones allowed close enough to reach those wounds. Her business partner was pushing the exact buttons related to her "not enough" story from childhood. How to set boundaries without over-explaining yourself. Learning to say no as a complete sentence. Learning to set a boundary and hold it without justifying, defending, or convincing. This is the work of self-respect. What self-trust actually means and how to rebuild it. Self-trust isn't built through grand gestures. It's built by keeping the small promises you make to yourself. Every time you break a promise to yourself, you're teaching yourself you don't matter. The shift from "not enough" to "I am so in love with myself." Alex shares what it's like on the other side of the deep emotional work: the peace, the clarity, the ability to move through the world without constantly proving yourself or seeking external validation. How success and freedom get redefined once you stop abandoning yourself. For Alex, freedom used to mean location independence. Now it means the freedom to prioritize her health, be where she wants when she wants, work with people she chooses, and have the bandwidth to do work that matters without worrying about compensation. The spiral metaphor: why it looks like you're going in circles but you're actually going up. Alex has a spiral tattooed on her wrist because from one angle, personal growth looks like you're just repeating the same patterns. But shift your perspective and you see you're actually ascending, going around and up with each iteration. This episode is for you if you've ever: Felt like you're everyone's rock but you have no one to lean on when you're falling apart Been the strong, capable one your entire life and secretly resented having to hold it all together Attracted emotionally unavailable people so you could be the caretaker and feel needed Achieved impressive milestones but still struggled to actually feel successful Wished someone would just save you, then immediately hated yourself for being weak enough to think it Had physical pain that wouldn't resolve no matter what you tried (and suspected it was related to emotional stress) Found yourself over-functioning in your work and relationships while others under-function Said yes to things you didn't want to do because it felt easier than setting a boundary Built something that looks successful on the outside but feels exhausting on the inside Known you need to take better care of yourself but always ran out of time and energy How to stop over-functioning and start living Alex's journey reveals something critical: you can't strategy your way out of patterns rooted in unworthiness. You can't hustle your way into feeling successful. And you can't keep abandoning yourself for achievement and expect to feel fulfilled. The real work is getting honest about why you're over-giving. What you're getting from being everyone's rock. What you're avoiding by staying busy and helpful and indispensable. And whether you're willing to do the uncomfortable work of learning to love yourself enough to stop. If you're ready to stop carrying it all and start building success that actually feels good, this conversation will show you what's possible on the other side. Ready to stop over-functioning and start feeling successful? The patterns Alex describes (over-functioning, people-pleasing, seeking external validation, struggling to feel your success) aren't character flaws. They're coping mechanisms you developed to stay safe. But they're costing you your health, your relationships, and your ability to enjoy the life you've built. The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in over-functioning mode, the wounds driving your need to be everyone's rock, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside. This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good, it finally feels right. Book your free Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit Connect with Alex Snider Website: https://alexsnider.com/ LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/snideralex Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leaderswhobuild/   If you listen on Spotify:  Open the Spotify app on your phone. Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page. Tap the three dots under the podcast description. Choose Rate show from the menu. Select your star rating and tap Submit.

Your body has been trying to tell you something for a while now. The persistent low mood you keep attributing to stress. The exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix. The feeling that no matter how well you take care of yourself, you're still running on fumes. What if it's not willpower you're missing? What if your body is finally saying no to a version of success that's costing you everything? Lisa Corduff's Story Lisa Corduff built a million-dollar business while her life was falling apart behind the scenes. Her husband Nick was struggling with addiction and mental health. She was solo parenting three young kids. And her business became the one place that felt purposeful when everything else was chaos. She was creating non-stop. Documenting everything. Showing up in all the places because that's what successful entrepreneurs do, right? The frantic energy matched what was happening in her real life. And then Nick died in 2019. Lisa was 40 years old with three kids aged 5, 7, and 8, and she kept going because that's what you do when you're the only parent and three kids are depending on you. But here's what nobody tells you about chronic stress: your body keeps the score. For years, Lisa would wake up every morning with her nervous system spiking, wondering "what's today going to bring?" She couldn't get back to sleep. Her system was wired for threat. And even after the acute crisis passed, her body remembered. This year, everything shifted. At 45, Lisa finally got answers she didn't know she needed - ADHD and autism diagnoses that suddenly made her entire life make sense. She discovered her estrogen levels were tanked despite doing everything "right" - morning walks, good food, sleep hygiene, all of it. She realized that what she'd been calling stress was actually perimenopause masked by legitimate life chaos. And she had to make a choice: keep running the frantic version of success she'd built, or completely redefine what success means when you're no longer willing to sacrifice your nervous system, your presence with your teenage kids, or your actual life for revenue targets. In this raw, vulnerable conversation, Lisa reveals: Why she went completely quiet this year after being one of the most visible entrepreneurs online for over a decade The moment she realized her persistent low mood wasn't just grief or stress - it was disappearing estrogen What getting diagnosed with ADHD and autism in her 40s taught her about the hustle she'd been celebrated for How chronic stress from years of managing addiction, solo parenting, and business building dysregulated her nervous system (and why it didn't matter how well she took care of herself) The shift from million-dollar years to redefining success around presence with her teenage kids Why she had to let go of the "prove yourself through content" model and become what she calls a "lighthouse voice" What it's really like to advocate for your own health when doctors dismiss perimenopausal women as overreacting to social media trends How neurodivergence (ADHD + autism) shows up differently in high-achieving women who've learned to mask The hidden cost of being everyone's rock while quietly crumbling inside Why grief and addiction are the "unsexy topics" we need to talk about more What happens when you finally honor your needs instead of overriding them with willpower How to know when it's time to let go even when everything in you wants to fight to hang on This episode is for you if you've ever: Felt like your body is screaming at you, but you keep pushing through with willpower Wondered why you're exhausted despite doing all the "right things" for your health Built impressive success, but it doesn't feel the way you thought it would Questioned whether the hustle is actually worth what it's costing you Felt trapped between the business you built and the life you actually want to live Attributed chronic stress symptoms to "just having a lot going on" instead of hormones Struggled with persistent low mood that nothing seems to fix Been told by doctors that your symptoms are "just stress" or "normal aging" Felt like you're the only parent carrying it all while trying to build something meaningful Wondered who you are when you're not performing or proving anymore Realized the version of success that got you here won't get you where you want to go Known you need to let go but everything in you wants to hold on tighter About Lisa Corduff Lisa Corduff is a successful entrepreneur, speaker, and writer currently exploring the complexities of "this moment in time" on her podcast Conversations with Lisa. A powerful storyteller, she teaches experts, coaches, thought-leaders, and business owners who want to stand out online how to expertly weave stories into their content for greater impact, connection, and trust. She believes storytelling is, as it always has been, an essential skill for our times. Connect with Lisa: Website: lisacorduff.com Instagram: @lisacorduff Facebook: Lisa Corduff Podcast: Conversations with Lisa Grief Notes is the perfect support on your grief journey What’s the Story teaches business owners how to grow their impact and make more sales using the power of storytelling Back to You in Midlife is eight powerful exercises for women who have found themselves lost and disconnected from themselves in midlife. Ready to stop overriding your body's messages and start honoring what it's trying to tell you? This conversation between Lisa Corduff and me isn't just about hormones or business strategy. It's about the wake-up call that comes when your body finally says no to a version of success built on chronic stress, over-functioning, and pushing through at all costs. Maybe you've been attributing your exhaustion to "just being busy." Maybe you've been telling yourself the persistent low mood will pass once things calm down. Maybe you've been white-knuckling your way through because you don't know another way to operate. But here's what Lisa and I both learned the hard way: you can't out-discipline a dysregulated nervous system. You can't out-supplement tanked hormones. And you can't build sustainable success while abandoning yourself in the process. The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in chronic stress, the cost of continuing to override your body's messages, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that doesn't require you to sacrifice your health, your presence, or who you're becoming. Book your Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the life you've built doesn't just look good - it finally feels right. Success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.   If you listen on Spotify:  Open the Spotify app on your phone. Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page. Tap the three dots under the podcast description. Choose Rate show from the menu. Select your star rating and tap Submit.

Everyone talks about self-love like it's a destination you reach after enough bubble baths and affirmations. But what if the real work of loving yourself is learning to stop abandoning who you are every time you enter a relationship? What if being "the loving one" has actually cost you more than you've been willing to admit? In this raw, solo episode, Lisa dismantles everything you thought you knew about unconditional love, self-love, and what it takes to be in a healthy relationship without losing yourself in the process. She challenges the narrative that many of us, especially women, were raised with: that being loving means holding it all together, forgiving everything, and sacrificing yourself to make it work. Drawing from her own journey of overgiving, abandoning herself, and ultimately setting boundaries in her current relationship after a major wake-up call, Lisa reveals why unconditional love has a place (with your children) but becomes toxic when applied to adult romantic relationships. She breaks down the difference between compassion for someone's humanity and tolerating harmful behavior, between loving someone deeply and staying when it costs you who you are. This isn't about becoming cold or withholding love. It's about understanding that healthy love, both with yourself and others, requires discernment, reciprocity, and boundaries. It's about learning to meet yourself with the same compassion you've been giving everyone else, and recognizing that the relationship you have with yourself is the blueprint for every relationship you'll ever have. In this episode, Lisa reveals: Why unconditional love in romantic relationships often means you're abandoning yourself (and calling it devotion) The specific cost of overgiving in relationships and how it erodes your self-trust How forgiveness without repair is just using spirituality to avoid reality The difference between loving someone's humanity and having conditions for access, partnership, and intimacy Why boundaries don't block love, they protect it (and make love sustainable) What healthy, mature love actually looks like: reciprocal, boundaried, grounded, accountable, spacious, and intentional How to recognize when you're mistaking tolerance for love and endurance for devotion The only real antidote to shame (and why most high-achievers struggle to give it to themselves) Why self-integrity, keeping promises to yourself, is the foundation of self-love and self-trust How to love someone deeply and still walk away if staying costs you who you are The reflection questions that will show you exactly where you're out of alignment in your relationships This episode is for you if you've ever: Found yourself overgiving in relationships, always being the one who repairs, carries, and sacrifices Believed that being loving meant forgiving everything without requiring accountability or repair Lost yourself in a relationship because you were so focused on not losing the other person Said yes to things you didn't want to do, shrinking yourself to be liked or chosen Felt resentful in your relationship but kept telling yourself you just need to be more loving Struggled to set boundaries because you equated boundaries with being cold or withholding Extended endless compassion to others but met yourself with criticism when you fell short Wondered why you can show up with such compassion for everyone else but can't seem to give it to yourself Built a relationship that looks good on the outside but inside you've abandoned who you are Knew you needed to leave a relationship but kept staying because you loved them (even though it was costing you everything) About Lisa Carpenter Lisa Carpenter is a Master Life Coach and host of the Congruent podcast. She works with ambitious, Type A professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs who look successful on the outside but feel exhausted, unfulfilled, or like it's never enough on the inside. Through her signature Congruency Loop™ process, Lisa helps clients stop living in Doing Mode and create success that feels as good as it looks. Find her at lisacarpenter.ca and on Instagram and LinkedIn @lisacarpentercoaching. Ready to stop abandoning yourself in the name of love? If you heard yourself in this episode, if you recognized the pattern of overgiving and calling it devotion, if you've been mistaking tolerance for love and endurance for commitment, it's time to get honest about what this is costing you. Because here's the truth: you can love someone with your whole heart and still feel unseen, unsafe, and disconnected. You can love someone deeply and still completely lose yourself in the process. And the highest form of love has to include you. The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the relationships you've built and what you're actually feeling inside them. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in overgiving, the wounds driving your need to earn love through sacrifice, and what it's going to take for you to finally create relationships (including the one with yourself) that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside. In 15 minutes, we'll pinpoint where you're abandoning yourself, what's driving that pattern, and the single biggest shift that will change everything. Because you didn't come this far to keep losing yourself in every relationship you enter. Book your Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit This isn't about optimizing the version of yourself you built to survive. It's about creating congruence so the relationships you're in don't require you to disappear. Success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside starts with you including yourself in the love you give.   If you listen on Spotify:  Open the Spotify app on your phone. Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page. Tap the three dots under the podcast description. Choose Rate show from the menu. Select your star rating and tap Submit.

You've done everything right. The degree, the career, the salary that finally exceeds what your parents made. You're checking all the boxes. But if you're honest, you still feel broke. Not because your bank account is empty, but because you never feel safe with money. You're controlling, budgeting, tracking every dollar, and somehow it still doesn't feel like enough. That constant financial anxiety? That's not about your numbers. It's about the unworthiness conversation running underneath every money decision you make. Lisa Chastain grew up blue-collar on a dirt road in Las Vegas, watching her dad never make more than $60,000 a year. She did what good girls do: got the degree, landed the job with the 401k and health insurance, bought a house at 24, married at 25, had her kid at 28. She was winning. Until she wasn't. When her husband lost his job nine months after she left her career to stay home, everything unraveled. The $100,000 in her 401k? Drained trying to hold it all together and start her financial advisor business. The perfect marriage? Hiding active addiction and chaos. The life that looked so good from the outside? Completely unsustainable on the inside. Lisa spent years trying to control her way to safety—budgeting harder, fixing her husband, making herself smaller, believing if she just did more, it would finally feel secure. But control was never the answer. The real work was healing the "not enough" conversation that made her use money to prove her worth, use debt to fill voids that weren't fillable with things, and stay in toxic situations because leaving felt like failure. Through divorce, a public rebound relationship with another addict, and what she calls her "come to Jesus moment," Lisa rebuilt her entire relationship with money. She stopped budgeting. She redefined success beyond bank account balances. She learned to use debt strategically instead of shamefully. And she made it her mission to help other women do the same—because financial shame keeps successful women stuck in scarcity longer than actual money problems ever could. Today, Lisa is a nationally recognized personal finance coach, bestselling author of Stop Budgeting, Start Living, host of The Real Money Podcast, and the woman teaching thousands of women how to stop controlling money and start trusting themselves with it.   In this raw, vulnerable conversation, Lisa reveals: Why budgeting is actually a control mechanism designed to keep women feeling ashamed of their financial decisions (and what to do instead) The hidden cost of financial control: how trying to manage every dollar keeps you feeling broke no matter how much you make Why debt isn't the problem—the unworthiness conversation driving your spending is How men are championed for using debt strategically while women are shamed for having $5,000 on a credit card The real reason successful women still live paycheck to paycheck despite good salaries: they're banking out of emotion, not data Why money amplifies who you already are (and what happens when you put money on top of an "unworthy" story) How to build self-trust with money through financial forecasting instead of white-knuckling a budget The generational shame women carry around money ownership and decision-making (and why it wasn't even legal for women to own their own accounts until less than 100 years ago) What redefining success actually looks like when you stop attaching it to external markers The exact moment Lisa realized she was the problem—and also the solution   This episode is for you if you've ever: Done everything "right" financially but still feel like you're one emergency away from falling apart Felt successful on paper but broke in your nervous system—constantly anxious about money no matter what your bank account says Controlled and budgeted your way through life only to realize you still don't feel safe with money Carried shame about debt, spending decisions, or financial mistakes that men would be championed for taking Made good money but somehow still felt like it was never enough Used spending or debt to fill a void that wasn't actually fillable with things Known you should feel more financially secure than you do, but the anxiety won't go away Realized you're trying to control money because you don't trust yourself with it   Guest Bio Lisa Chastain is a nationally recognized Personal Finance Coach and bestselling author with over 20 years of experience helping women take control of their money. Featured in CNBC, O – The Oprah Magazine, Fortune, Business Insider, and Forbes, Lisa is known for her fresh, no-shame approach to financial empowerment. After burning through $100,000 and nearly going broke, she rebuilt her life and made it her mission to help women fix their finances—without rigid budgets. In 2016, she launched her coaching business to teach women how to track money intentionally, invest wisely, and create sustainable wealth. Today, she's the host of The Real Money Podcast and the bestselling author of Stop Budgeting, Start Living, which challenges outdated money rules and inspires financial confidence. Lisa's work focuses on money mindset, leadership, and financial emotional intelligence, guiding clients and organizations to achieve long-term stability and freedom. She has been featured in Cosmopolitan, NBC News, MSN Money, Fortune, and Entrepreneur Magazine, and was named one of Las Vegas Women Magazine's "People to Watch." Find Lisa: Website: lisachastain.com Podcast: The Real Money Podcast: https://lisachastain.com/podcast/ Book: Stop Budgeting, Start Living: Transform Your Money Mindset, Transform Your Life (available on Amazon) Instagram: @realmoneywithlisa  90-Day Money Bootcamp launching quarterly 4-Day Intensive Healing Retreats   Ready to stop controlling money and start trusting yourself with it? If Lisa's story hit close to home, it's because you're carrying the same pattern: doing everything right, checking all the boxes, making good money, but still feeling broke, unsafe, and like it's never enough. Here's the truth: That anxiety isn't about your bank account balance. It's about the unworthiness conversation running underneath every financial decision you make. The shame you carry about debt. The belief that if you just budget harder, control tighter, manage better, you'll finally feel safe. But control is never the answer. Self-trust is. You're exhausted from white-knuckling your way through your financial life. You're collapsing into bed at night, mind racing about money, even though objectively you're doing fine. You snap at your partner about spending. You feel guilty every time you buy something for yourself. You've built a life that looks successful on the outside, but inside it doesn't feel congruent. The Congruency Audit is where we look at the gap between the financial success you've built on the outside and what you're actually feeling on the inside. We'll identify the exact patterns keeping you stuck in financial control instead of self-trust, the wounds driving your relationship with money, and what it's going to take for you to finally create success that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside. This isn't about budgeting harder. This isn't about more spreadsheets. This is about healing the "not enough" story that's been running your financial life since childhood—so you can finally step into the version of you who trusts herself with money, makes decisions from abundance instead of scarcity, and redefines success on your own terms. Book your Congruency Audit: lisacarpenter.ca/audit If you listen on Spotify:  Open the Spotify app on your phone. Search for Lisa Carpenter and open her podcast page. Tap the three dots under the podcast description. Choose Rate show from the menu. Select your star rating and tap Submit.