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Welcome to Part 2 of our breakdown of For Men Only! This episode dives headfirst into the sex chapter — and quickly exposes how shaky stats and selective storytelling create misleading narratives about libido and desire. We examine why women’s sexual desire is far more contextual — and relational — than the book admits. We unpack the myth of “on-demand” desire, challenge rigid sex rules like the 72-hour expectation, and explore why libido is far more dynamic — and human — than most advice admits. We also critique popular marriage frameworks that outsource self-worth to partners and rely on oversimplified gender stereotypes rather than evidence-based relational health. Get ready for a candid, research-informed takedown of bad advice — with a clear message: real intimacy thrives on emotional maturity, not scripts.
TO SUPPORT US: 
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!
LINKS MENTIONED: 
Our article demolishing Shaunti Feldhahn's "research" on love & respect
One Sheet on For Women Only 
Podcast on For Women Only 
Podcast on mental load
Our book The Marriage You Want
Support the show
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:
The Great Sex Rescue 
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
 The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
 and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

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In this episode, we dive into For Men Only, by Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn, and let’s just say…we have many thoughts! We unpack some of its core claims about gender dynamics, communication, and emotional needs. Rebecca shares how this book impacted her first few months of marriage to Connor, and not in a good way!
We address major concerns with the book’s research methods, its reliance on broad gender stereotypes, and its tendency to frame women as overly emotional and men as disengaged. While it contains one of the best descriptors we’ve seen on mental load, the Feldhahns have yet to propose workable solutions that include mutual accountability and behavioral change. Sheila and Rebecca advocate for a more nuanced, evidence-informed understanding of relationships—one that prioritizes emotional maturity, shared responsibility, and meaningful communication over simplified gender narratives. This one is worth a listen and keep an eye out for Part 2 next week!
TO SUPPORT US: 
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!
LINKS MENTIONED: 
Our article demolishing Shaunti Feldhahn's "research" on love & respect
One Sheet on For Women Only 
Podcast on For Women Only 
Podcast on mental load
Our book The Marriage You Want
Support the show
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:
The Great Sex Rescue 
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
 The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
 and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail
Tia Levings is back, and this time she's brought the book so many of you have been waiting for — I Belong to Me, a survivor's guide to recovery and hope after religious trauma, and the follow-up to her memoir A Well-Trained Wife.
After thousands of women slid into her DMs asking how did you heal, how do I find myself again, Tia sat down and wrote the guide she wished she'd had. In this conversation, we get into what religious trauma actually is and why therapists are only now starting to name it, how spiritual bypassing uses faith language to invalidate your pain, and why the period right after you leave a high-control church or marriage is actually when you're most vulnerable — not most free. We also talk about why your voice and your sexuality are twin wounds that heal together, how to start building boundaries when you've never been allowed to have any, and why real recovery eventually means sitting with your own complicity — not to shame yourself, but to finally choose something different. If you've ever wondered was what I went through actually trauma, and can I actually heal from it — this episode is for you.

TO SUPPORT US: 
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!
LINKS MENTIONED: 
I Belong to Me by Tia Levings — Release Date: May 5th — Pre-Order Now!
Listen to Tia's first episode with us on her book The Well Trained Wife
Support the show
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:
The Great Sex Rescue 
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
 The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
 and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail
Who's carrying the mental and emotional load when it comes to sex? Today Keith and I are breaking down all the ways evangelical marriage culture places that burden almost entirely on women: from appearance standards and contraception to performing passion on demand and suppressing her own emotions so his experience stays comfortable. We are listening to sermon clips and reading quotes from bestselling Christian marriage books that are pretty hard to hear, but really important to call out for the harm they cause to women (and marriage).
We are also talking about what we all actually want — a sex life rooted in real intimacy, where both people get to show up with everything they are.

TO SUPPORT US: 
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!
LINKS MENTIONED: 
The Orgasm Course and The Husband’s Edition
Starter Pack Podcasts on Making Sex Feel Great

Support the show
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:
The Great Sex Rescue 
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
 The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
 and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan Mail
Finding a healthy church after being hurt is hard — especially when toxic churches have learned to hide what they really believe. This week, Rebecca and I walk you through our evidence-based, step-by-step method for evaluating a church's website before you ever step through the door. From homepage vibes to staff pages, statement of beliefs to membership covenants, we'll show you exactly what to look for — and what to run from.
We're also sharing real examples from actual church websites, some of them from well-known names you'll recognize, so you can train your eye to spot the difference between a church that genuinely welcomes you and one that just wants to slot you into a hierarchy. And we're connecting it all to our brand-new peer-reviewed study on internalized modesty messaging — because finding a healthy church isn't just nice to have. For girls especially, it can make all the difference.
GET OUR TEMPLATE to Vet Your Church's Website
TO SUPPORT US: 
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
Join our email list!
LINKS MENTIONED: 
Our article about risk of sexual harassment in the Scientific Study of Religion Journal
Support the show
Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:
The Great Sex Rescue 
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
 The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
 and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.