Shut the F*** Up Nick Lachey

On this harrowing episode of STFUNL, Daisy and Ellyn allegedly recap the UK reunion. It's hard to tell, because they start out hostile over the appropriate time for dinner and rate the "mushiness" of Not-Thermos' face. Listen to them speculate about the appropriateness of chartreuse opera gloves and guess which marble-mouthed contestants are attempting to rewrite their social media backlashed narratives. The pinnacle of this dramatic podcast episode comes from an unexpected in-studio electrical twist. And you probably didn't know, Marjorie, that Ellyn was not just any podcaster, she was THE MAIN podcaster. She didn't twirl just a baton, that baton was on fire. And when she threw that baton into the air, it flew higher, further, faster than any baton has ever flown before, hitting a transformer and showering the darkened arena with sparks! And when it finally did come down, Marjorie, my sister caught that baton, and 12,000 people jumped to their feet for sixteen and one-half minutes of uninterrupted thunderous ovation, as flames illuminated her tear-stained face! And that, Marjorie — just so you will know — and your children will someday know ---is the night the lights went out in Georgia!
Episode summary by live listener Katie Eichenberger

From live listener Laura: This episode has single-handedly destroyed my faith in Daisy and Ellyn's STFU acumen, and whatever network picked up this podcast from Grab Bag should seriously reconsider their investment. Daisy does not appreciate wedding dresses. Ellyn appreciates hats (I think? I lost track. Something about Pretty Woman). Neither appreciates leprechauns. There were accents involved, to both the boon and bane of the listening experience. Also, TIL that Ellyn's life was the inspiration for Frozen's "Let It Go".

The couples head to the real world. And we learn a lot…Billy hates sweets and flight attendants, Ashdhrjridjdhruyrjfh's dad may or may not be an '80s metal icon, Cal loves everything about Sarover, mostly her accent. Her ACC.ENT. But it turns out we only get every other word Cal says. We learn Javen is the baby of his family… and is a massive disappointment, as we expected. Then we have the all skate where Sophie proves she is NOT a girls girl, and her vagina is on display. And on an upside…Anu finally sings. In the most cringe way possible.  And Megan proves to be the downest of all bitches. Oh, and Jed and Bardah were there too. All this and more on this episode of "shut the fuck up, Nick lachey". Where is that guy?

STFU is BACK, BABYYYYY! We're covering LIB UK Season 2 in chunks because NOTHING BEATS A JET2 HOLIDAY!! In STFU UK 2 Episode 1 we get all four pod episodes! We've got fake spiritualists and their spleens! Women making BAAAAAD choices both in men and in foundation color! And ACCENTS galore!

Well, we FINALLY made it. After THREE After the Altars, we meet Monica (WHO'S MONICA???) and learn possibly the juiciest bit of drama that happened on this whole fakakta season. We really hope Jackie figures her shit out. Marshall and Brett should have a podcast. And Zack and Bliss are off to eat Italian food in… Italy.