Ask Christopher West

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
I have been a consecrated man for 40 years. Through theology of the body, I came to understand that my masculinity was not denied by my vow of chastity, but lived in another way. I learned to integrate natural bodily movements and the struggle for purity into my path of sanctification. Recently, due to age, these experiences have largely disappeared. I feel I now have less struggle and less of a felt experience of my masculinity. My testosterone levels have decreased, which brings sadness. Does this suffering make sense, and should I try to restore my testosterone to offer my virility to God as self-gift?
My boyfriend and I have dated for a year, and the topic of pornography has never really been discussed. I have no reason to believe that he currently watches, but I’m finding more and more that I need reassurance that this is not a potential threat to our sweet relationship. Would it be out of place for me to ask my boyfriend if he has watched or still watches porn? It feels so critical and unkind to ask him such a question. Do you have any suggestions on how I should approach this conversation?
I am currently dating a wonderful girl, and we have both been raised extremely well in the faith and theology of the body. We were talking about the beauty of reserving sex for marriage, and she mentioned that she has never felt the desire for sex once in her life. I was a bit shocked by this. Is that something that will grow as we continue to progress toward marriage in a holy way, or does that mean she will never have the natural human desire for sexual union in the marital act? I’m just worried about how that may affect a marriage. What is your thought?

Resources:
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher
Course Schedule
Are you ready for marriage? Check out Next Step: A Course for Discerning Marriage 
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

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Submit you question here!

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🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
About 10 years ago, my husband and I rushed into a vasectomy after my third child in 3.5 years and intense anxiety/depression. I wasn’t in favor, but agreed thinking he’d reverse it if we wanted more kids—then I learned he never intended to. For eight years I felt despair and our union felt unrepairable. In recent years, Christ has healed me, and discovering TOB helped transform my husband’s heart; he’s apologized and wishes he could take it back. But he fears reversal because of painful complications. Should I ask him to reverse it for me, or leave it up to him? How does this relate to TOB’s “special responsibility” of the man to reestablish the balance of the gift?
My question is about where the marriage imagery of Christ and the Church can fall short. Sometimes I find it hard to love God when I know that if I don’t, He has the power and authority to cast me into hell, and if this were a relationship between two sinners, it might seem abusive for one spouse to punish the other for lack of loyalty. Ezekiel 16 portrays God doing this in a spousal context, and it deeply troubles me. When I struggle with this, I shy away from Christ as Bridegroom and turn to other analogies, like Him as the vine. Can you shed some TOB light on this?
I’ve been in a relationship for four years. We’re both believing Christians and try to live our relationship in the light of theology of the body, but lately we’re struggling with physical affection—never knowing what is too much or what is healthy since we’re not married. We’ve talked a lot, and it seems I’m having a harder time than he is. My problem is that I often find myself troubled after the fact. I’d really appreciate some advice.

Resources:
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 
[email protected]

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
Recently I had mole excision surgery that led me into some unexpected reflection through a TOB lens. I was awake with only local anesthesia and watched the doctor use a scalpel to cut into my skin. Seeing the blood flow out made me lightheaded and nauseous, and I wondered why many people feel queasy at the sight of blood. In TOB terms, is this like “your seed belongs in her garden”? Might blood also feel like something that belongs inside the body? How does this connect to Christ’s Sacred Heart being pierced and his blood poured out for us—and why don’t medical professionals react this way?
I’ve been listening to an introduction to theology of the body you gave, and my heart is stirred with a desire for all the beauty and goodness that is offered to us through the truth of our bodies. I can’t help but wonder as I listen how this truth of what is intended for our bodies applies to those who experience unusual circumstances such as infertility, reproductive disorders, or illnesses, and the smaller percentage who are born with physical abnormalities that affect their sexual or reproductive organs. How does the ideal of the theology of the body reconcile with these natural realities?
My husband and I have been married for 38 years. I came into marriage with insecurities and abandonment wounds—my father died when I was 3, my mother never remarried, and my older siblings left home after marrying. My husband’s love language is touch and quality time, and he didn’t receive much of either from his parents. Because of our woundedness, we had immoral patterns in our marriage—dressing inappropriately and spending at least 10 years going to nudist resorts. I’m further on my journey through counseling and our Catholic faith, but I’m not sure where he is. I feel pressured when he comments on my body, stares, and wants us naked at home. What steps can I take to have a healthier response to my husband?

Resources:
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
I’m experiencing my third very early miscarriage, and I’m having a lot of difficult feelings because the loss is so early. I never saw a doctor to confirm pregnancy—just a few days of faint positive tests that never got darker and eventually turned negative—and I’m dreading the coming bloodshed. I’m struggling with feeling like I shouldn’t grieve; I know life begins at conception, but I’m confused, and it feels unfair to people with “real” miscarriages. My husband doesn’t really understand, and I feel alone with two toddlers. Any insight appreciated.
I understand God gave us sexuality as a gift, making us sexual beings. If he knew we’d be tempted to misuse it, why didn’t he make it so we’d be attracted to beauty but not feel sexual desire until after vows in the sacrament of marriage? Since that’s not how he designed it—and many look forward to that day—how do we look forward without unchaste thoughts or fantasies? My love language is touch, and I ache to be held, but my yearning slips into fantasies and then self-abuse. Any encouragement or advice would be welcome.
Why did the apostles not recognize Jesus after the resurrection?

Resources:
Sexual Integration Course
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

My wife and I have been married almost 1.5 years and we just had our first daughter 2.5 months ago. One challenge we’re struggling to discern is that my younger brother is transitioning from male to female and calling himself “Auntie” in front of my daughter. I love my brother dearly, and this has been a long journey tied to brokenness I and others caused when he was younger. We want to raise our daughter in the truth of God’s plan for sexuality while still loving my brother well. What language and approach would you recommend?
My mother is nearing the end of a six-year battle with a very rare condition that is eating away at her body. My father continues to struggle with the “why” behind this suffering, crying out, “Why would God allow this?”
I’m a student midwife, and sometimes my faith comes up with my teachers and the other students. They often ask me questions about chastity, and I always try to explain it in the light of Theology of the Body, but I find it so hard when the other person has never heard of it. Do you have some ideas for how I could start—and keep going—on with those conversations?

Resources:
Course Schedule
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 
Good News About Sex & Marriage
Male, Female, Other? : A Catholic Guide to Understanding Gender by Jason Evert
Love & Responsibility YouTube Series
Donate to the JPII Legacy Foundation
JPII Legacy Foundation Website

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠