Coaching Culture

Every coach says they want more leaders. But most are picturing the wrong level entirely.
JP Nerbun, Betsy Butterick, and Nate Sanderson unpack Level 3 leadership, the one-to-one relational work that has to exist before Level 4 (leading the whole team) ever works, including the Joey Votto story of a star player who took up Spanish and improv classes just to become a better teammate.
Whether you've got a team full of quiet glue players or you're still waiting for someone to step up, this conversation will change how you look for leadership on your roster.
Chapters(00:00) Intro
(02:35) Level 3 vs Level 4, defined
(08:33) Leading a team vs leading people
(10:42) The glue player nobody calls a leader
(15:19) When leadership feels inauthentic
(20:15) The soup metaphor
(23:26) Skip the template, find the belief
(32:18) What coaches get wrong on calling out
(36:49) Walk your own talk first
(39:58) The six parts of Level 3
(42:29) Reframing fear before hard talks
(45:54) Four beliefs that block feedback
TOC 3-2-1
3 Quotes | 2 Questions | 1 Resource
Your fast-track to the episode's most actionable ideas.
"The problem with hard conversations isn't not knowing the template. The problem is the belief system that gets in the way of actually changing the behavior."
- J.P. Nerbun
"One group calls it 'called out.' The other group calls the exact same thing, a coach stopping practice to single out an athlete, 'called up.' It depends on the relationship."
- Betsy Butterick
"Rizzo said he got called out by Ross more than a few times, and every single time he walked away feeling like the guy loved him."
- Nate Sanderson
2 Questions for Your Team
Q1: On a scale of 1 to 10, how comfortable are you calling out a teammate when they're below the standard? What belief is keeping you from a 10?
Q2: Think of one teammate you'd call out without hesitation, and one you wouldn't. What's actually different about those two relationships?
1 Resource to Go Deeper
The Culture Captain by JP Nerbun
The book behind this episode's framework, breaking down the four levels of leadership from knowing yourself to leading the whole team.
Visit tocculture.com here
Key Takeaways
Level three is the leadership skill coaches actually need, not level four
Being a great teammate makes you a better performer, not a distraction from it
Don't let "that's just who I am" become the end of the conversation
Calling out and calling up are often the exact same behavior
Most athletes aren't missing a script, they're stuck on a belief
The best challengers spend the other fifty-one weeks building connections
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tocculture.com
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Better Coaches. Better Leaders. Better Culture.

Dr. Jody Carrington says the most vulnerable emotion on the planet is not fear or grief. It is joy.
In part two of her conversation with JP, Dr. Jody Carrington gets specific about what it means to regulate yourself before you can lead anyone else, why joy requires every defense to be down, and why she collects information before she directs a hard conversation.
This one is for any coach who has ever felt calm on paper but tight in the jaw, and who wants tools that work in the middle of practice, not just in theory.
Chapters(00:00) Intro & Welcome Back
(02:04) Fragmented Attention, Real Hacks
(05:46) Go In, Go Out, Repeat
(09:38) Ask What Happened, Not Whats Wrong
(11:11) Who You Really Work For
(12:26) Why Joy Is the Most Vulnerable Emotion
(14:24) Waving at Everyone on Main Street
(20:57) Collect Then Direct
(26:14) The Kid Nobody Wanted to Coach
(28:29) Investing in the Hardest Parents
TOC 3-2-13 Quotes | 2 Questions | 1 Resource
Your fast-track to the episode's most actionable ideas.
"The most important people you work for are the ones you go home to."
- Dr. Jody Carrington
"The most vulnerable emotion on the planet is joy."
- Dr. Jody Carrington
"Collect and then direct. It's not if I'm going to give that feedback, it's when."
- Dr. Jody Carrington
2 Questions for Your TeamQ1: Where in your day is your jaw locked and your shoulders up before you ever set foot in front of your team, and what would it look like to drop them on purpose before you walk in?
Q2: Which two players are you not building a real relationship with right now, and what is one specific thing you could learn about them this week?
1 Resource to Go DeeperDr. Jody Carrington
Free videos, articles, and tools built around the same ideas she unpacked in this episode: regulation, connection, and showing up as your best self before you lead anyone else.
Visit drjodycarrington.com here
Key TakeawaysRegulate Yourself Before You Coach Anyone Else
The People You Work For Are the Ones You Go Home To
Ask What Happened, Not What's Wrong
Joy Is the Most Vulnerable Emotion on a Team
Collect Before You Direct
Relationships With Parents Cut the Battle in Half
Get the notes and tools:
tocculture.com
Join TOC Coach - community, courses, and live coaching:
tocculture.com
Better Coaches. Better Leaders. Better Culture.

If the big people aren't okay, the little people don't stand a chance. That is the idea psychologist Dr. Jody Carrington has built her career on, and it flips the entire athlete development conversation on its head.
In part one of this two part conversation, JP sits down with Dr. Jody Carrington, a clinical psychologist and founder of Carrington and Company who has spent decades studying emotional regulation in high pressure environments, from a locked psychiatric unit to elite sports organizations. She unpacks why the coach's own nervous system sets the ceiling for the team's, and why the answer to a dysregulated athlete is never more yelling.
Whether you coach with intensity or with quiet steadiness, this episode will change how you think about the person running the room, not just the players in it.
Chapters
(00:00) Intro - Why Coach Regulation Matters
(02:11) Meet Dr. Jody Carrington
(02:47) Why She Focuses on Coaches
(05:09) The Coach-Centered Approach
(07:54) Do Good Coaches Screw Up Kids
(09:36) The Hand Model of the Brain
(15:33) The Tom Izzo Question
(19:19) Cortisol and Your Nervous System
(23:17) Collect Before You Direct
TOC 3-2-1
3 Quotes | 2 Questions | 1 Resource
Your fast track to the episode's most actionable ideas.
"If the big people aren't okay, the little people don't stand a chance."
- Dr. Jody Carrington
"You don't lose your ability to be great. You don't lose the best golf swing you've ever taken in your life. You lose access to it."
- Dr. Jody Carrington
"We have to collect before we direct."
- Dr. Jody Carrington
2 Questions for Your Team
Q1: Where in your program are you investing in athlete performance but not in your own emotional regulation as a coach?
Q2: Think of the last time you corrected an athlete in the moment. Had you collected enough relationship first for that correction to land?
1 Resource to Go Deeper
Dr. Jody Carrington's Books, Podcast, and Resources
Her ongoing work on emotional regulation, connection, and leadership under pressure goes deeper into everything covered in this episode.
Visit drjodycarrington.com here
Key Takeaways
Coach Regulation Is the Missing Variable in Athlete Development
You Cannot Learn With Your Lid Flipped
Collect Before You Direct
Intensity Isn't the Problem, Timing Is
Your Nervous System Gets Hijacked Before You Even Get Out of Bed
Coaching Is Development Work, Not Just Performance Work
Get the notes and tools:
tocculture.com
Join TOC Coach - community, courses, and live coaching:
tocculture.com
Better Coaches. Better Leaders. Better Culture.

Is your best leader always your best teammate? JP Nerbun, Betsy Butterick, and Nate Sanderson are not so sure, and the answer says a lot about how you build culture this season.
This episode continues an ongoing conversation around JP's new book, The Culture Captain, with the group digging into Level Two: leading yourself before you ever try to lead anyone else. They unpack why the chapter on effort was the hardest one JP wrote, what separates a Steph Curry from a Caitlin Clark on the leader versus teammate question, and why so many athletes hold back effort out of fear of being labeled a tryhard.
Whether you are coaching the most obsessed competitor on your roster or the kid who just wants to enjoy the sport, this conversation will change how you think about effort, identity, and what it actually takes to lead yourself first.
Chapters
(00:00) Intro
(01:02) Why Level Two Was Hardest to Write
(03:26) Tom Brady & Raising Others 5-10%
(09:13) Standards, Buy-In & Judgment
(13:28) Caitlin Clark & Being Yourself
(17:55) Great Leader vs. Great Teammate
(24:37) One Behavior Every Leader Needs
(28:30) Why Athletes Avoid Competing Hard
(32:44) From Victim to Creator
(40:55) The Hardest Part of Leading Yourself
TOC 3-2-1
3 Quotes | 2 Questions | 1 Resource
Your fast-track to the episode's most actionable ideas.
"Two things can be true. I can uphold the standard and it increases the value or the connection with my teammate."
- Betsy Butterick
"My performance does not determine my worth or value in this world."
- Nate Sanderson
"It's not any single leadership behavior that unlocks leading yourself. It's putting in the work on ourselves, knowing that this is a lifelong journey."
- JP Nerbun
2 Questions for Your Team
Q1: When you rate your own effort this season, are you rating it the way your teammates and coaches would, or the way you wish they would?
Q2: Is there a part of this season where you are telling yourself a victim story? What is one choice you actually have right now?
1 Resource to Go Deeper
The Culture Captain by JP Nerbun
JP's newly launched book breaks leadership into three levels: knowing yourself, leading yourself, and leading others. This episode digs into Level Two, covering responsibility, effort, authenticity, compete, mental fitness, and selflessness.
Visit tocculture.com here
Key Takeaways
Leading yourself is not a formula. It is a personal journey.
A great leader is not always a great teammate.
Curiosity beats correction when a leader cannot reserve judgment.
The fear of being a tryhard is quietly shutting down effort.
Moving an athlete from victim to creator starts with naming a choice.
The hardest part of leading yourself is the moment you let yourself down.
Get the notes and tools:
tocculture.com
Join TOC Coach - community, courses, and live coaching:
tocculture.com
Better Coaches. Better Leaders. Better Culture.

Making athletes work harder is one thing. Making athletes better is something else entirely — and Rustin Dodd draws that line clearly in this episode.
In part two of JP Nerbun's conversation with Rustin Dodd and Elise Devlin of The Athletic's Peak section, the discussion moves from habits and rituals into the heart of transformational coaching. Elise covers Dan Quinn's player PowerPoint presentations, Lisa Bluder's deep-dive into understanding Caitlin Clark, and what Tara Vanderveer's lasting player relationships reveal about the longevity of great coaching. Rustin breaks down the energy cost of being a coach and why the coaches who last build support systems around themselves. The episode closes with John Harbaugh's accountability frame and why "shoot the ball" might be the most important thing a coach can say.
For coaches who want to understand what separates the ones athletes call ten years later from the ones they just remember.
Chapters
(00:00) Intro: Studying Great Coaches(01:30) The Best Part of the Job(03:09) The Common Trait of Great Leaders(06:54) Getting to Know Your Players(10:10) Tough Conversations and Real Relationships(12:00) Who Would You Want to Be Coached By(13:57) Tom Izzo and the Power of Intensity(15:07) Who Would You Want as a Teammate(18:40) Jared McCain and the Inner Game of Tennis(19:47) The Origin of Executive Coaching(21:15) Sports and Business Culture Feed Each Other(22:25) What Coaches Do to Be at Their Best(24:09) Ownership as a Leadership Skill(24:56) Who Would You Invite to Dinner(29:36) Final Advice: Curiosity and Optimism(31:23) Shoot the Ball: Trust as a Coaching MetaphorTOC 3-2-1
3 Quotes | 2 Questions | 1 Resource
Your fast-track to the episode's most actionable ideas.
"Being a coach that can get your players to work harder is easier than being a coach that can make them better. At the most basic level, it's giving people confidence."
— Rustin Dodd
"When you are losing a lot of energy and you have not a lot left, take what you do have left and give it to other people and it'll come back to you multiplied."
— Elise Devlin
"There's no better feeling than when your coach yells shoot it. I think about that as a metaphor — it's some level of trust, putting confidence in the person."
— Rustin Dodd
2 Questions for Your Team
Q1: Think about a player you know well enough to coach hard — and one you don't. What would it take to close that gap this week?
Q2: When did you last own a bad day in front of your team? What did that cost you — and what did it build?
1 Resource to Go Deeper
The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey
The origin text for the entire executive coaching industry — referenced in this episode as foundational reading for understanding the inner life of an athlete. Jared McCain reads it. Steve Kerr coaches from it.
Available on Amazon
Key Takeaways
Making Athletes Better Is Different from Making Them Work Harder
The Deeper You Know Your Athletes, the Better You Can Lead Them
Tough Conversations Only Land When the Relationship Is Real
Coaches Need a Support System Too
Ownership Is a Leadership Skill
Curiosity Is a Long-Term Coaching Practice
Get the notes and tools:
tocculture.com
Join TOC Coach — community, courses, and live coaching:
tocculture.com
Better Coaches. Better Leaders. Better Culture.