The Gay Buddhist Forum by GBF

• Living with Integrity - Steven Tierney

  In this talk, Steven Tierney emphasizes living with integrity as the core of Buddhist practice.He helps us reflect on living a meaningful and compassionate practice that is responsive to our unique life situations while benefitting both ourselves and others.Steven defines integrity as aligning thoughts, words, and actions with core values while living for the benefit of others.Integrity means wholeness and completeness, derived from Latin meaning "whole"Encourages self-reflection and internal alignment with personal valuesMoves us beyond intellectual understanding to embodied practicePractical ApplicationsReplacing to-do lists with "to-feel" lists (focusing on desired feelings rather than tasks)Reducing doom scrolling and social media consumptionPracticing "We Care" - balancing self-care with caring for othersBuddhist Practice in Daily LifeEmphasizing that Buddhist teachings should be verified through lived experiencePromoting engaged Buddhism that flows from contemplative practiceLiving the Bodhisattva vows through everyday interactionsKey ConceptsUpaya (skillful means) - teaching in multiple ways to reach different peopleNimbleness of spirit - knowing when to speak up versus when to listenBeing present and compassionate rather than getting overwhelmed by external eventsSteven concludes by referencing the Buddha's belief in the innate nobility and compassion of all beings, suggesting that negative qualities are learned rather than inherent.______________Steven Tierney (Kai Po Koshin) is a Dharma transmitted teacher in the lineage of Suzuki Roshi. Steven has a new Sangha: Oceans Compassion Sangha and also practices with Gay Buddhist Fellowship, Meditation in Recovery at SFZC, Great Spirit Sangha, SFLGBTQA Sangha, and the Hartford Street Zen Center.Steven believes that we can find wisdom, compassion and awakening wherever good people come together for practice, healing, service and joy. Dr. Tierney is a psychotherapist in private practice and Professor Emeritus in Counseling Psychology at CIIS.He is a Certified Addiction Specialist and has been named a Diplomate in Clinical Mental Health by the American Mental Health Counselors Association. He is also a certified suicide prevention and intervention trainer, providing workshops, classes, and consultations. Steven can be reached at 415-235-1061 or [email protected] ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• The Hard Work of Ethical Conduct - Daigan Gather

  In a world rife with violence and intolerance, how do we embody Buddhist ethical practice that balances compassion, wisdom, and courageous action?When we feel overwhelmed by the state of society, Daigan Gaither suggests focusing on ethical behavior as a foundation for meaningful action. He reminds us that:Buddhist practice comprises three interdependent trainings: ethical conduct (Shīla), concentration (Samādhi), and wisdom (Prajñā).Ethical conduct demands we actively oppose oppression and intolerance rather than remaining neutral.Meditation allows us to explore the lived experience of difficult emotions, allowing them to empower rather than control us.Compassion does not require tolerating harmful behavior; sometimes it means setting boundaries or “loving from a distance.”Sustained engagement requires self-care and community support, guided by the wisdom meditation cultivates.Real-world Buddhist practice involves supporting justice work, educating oneself, and responding appropriately to present circumstances, even if outcomes are uncertain.As we wrestle with the tension between compassion and confronting harm, Daigan encourages us to balance loving kindness with discernment. His dialogue with the sangha further explores how small acts, rooted in ethical intention, collectively contribute to change.______________Rev. Daigan Gaither (he/him) began Buddhist practice in 1995 in the Vipassana (Insight) tradition, then began studying Zen in 2003. He received Lay Ordination in 2006 where he was given the name Daigan or “Great Vow,” and received Priest Ordination in July 2011.Daigan speaks internationally on a variety of topics particularly around gender, sexuality, social justice, and their intersections with the Dharma. He also sits or has sat on a number of boards and committees that serve community needs and further social justice causes.Daigan has a BA in Philosophy and Religion from San Francisco State University, and an MA in Buddhist Studies (with a chaplaincy certificate and a certificate in Soto Zen Buddhism) from the Graduate Theological Union and the Institute of Buddhist Studies. He lives in San Francisco, CA and identifies as a disabled, queer, white, cis male. Learn more at https://queerdharma.net ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• What Might Happen - Laura Burges

  Laura Burges discusses how being present with our fears can help us break the grip they hold over us so we can develop the courage to live openly and compassionately in uncertain times.Finding Buddhist truths in stories from many cultures, Laura explores how fear shows up in our lives, reminding us that fear is universal, often rooted in uncertainty, and can feel overwhelming, especially in today’s unsettled world. She highlights that Buddhism offers tools to recognize and sit with fear rather than avoid it, including the practice of “staying” with fear, which helps us face it fully and find courage in the present moment.Laura also weaves in reflections on bodhicitta—the awakened heart and mind—which invites us to soften rather than harden in the face of life’s challenges. Her overall message is that being present with fear makes it smaller and less paralyzing, using life's uncertainty and loss to help us awaken.______________Ryuko Laura Burges is a lay entrusted dharma teacher in the Soto Zen tradition, teaching and leading retreats in Northern California. A longtime educator, she co-founded the Meditation in Recovery programs at San Francisco Zen Center.Her books include Wisdom Stories of Tibet (2025), the first volume in a three-part series that will also feature wisdom stories from India and Japan, The Zen Way of Recovery: An Illuminated Path Out of the Darkness of Addiction (2023), Zen for Kids (2023), and Buddhist Stories for Kids (2022) ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• The Dharma of Other People - Matthew Brensilver

  Human connection brings an inherent amount of suffering with it, so how do we cultivate equanimity in interpersonal relationships?In this talk, Matthew Brensilver reflects on the deep human need for belonging. Yet an unavoidable tension arises because no person or relationship can fully satisfy craving or end suffering. He explains that understanding this unsatisfactoriness helps us realistically approach relationships without expecting them to be perfect refuges.Instead, we learn to welcome ambivalence, the coexistence of conflicting feelings like love and frustration, joy and grief, which naturally arises in all connections. This capacity to tolerate ambivalence is a sign of psychosocial maturity and is essential for developing equanimity—the balanced mind that neither clings to nor rejects experiences and emotions.Matthew outlines several important points about equanimity in relational life:Equanimity involves opening the heart to the imperfections of others and ourselves, rather than controlling or suppressing difficult feelings.Interpersonal interactions act like a “stress test,” revealing our hidden mental habits (greed, hate, delusion) and opportunities for compassion.Compassion refined by equanimity becomes “love in the face of helplessness,” recognizing the limits of our ability to control or fix others’ suffering.Ambivalence is not always a symptom of confusion but sometimes a clear recognition of complexity; learning to live alongside it is a spiritual achievement.Emotional ups and downs, including anger and grief, often resist change because these states have a kind of inertia, requiring patience and mindfulness.The practice of equanimity supports forgiveness, especially when we face the pain and flaws of loved ones without defensiveness or control. Forgiveness can be thought of as the unofficial "Fifth Brahmavihara" because it flows naturally from the four states of loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimityUltimately, Matthew encourages embracing the vulnerability and uncertainty inherent in human relationships, using meditation and honest self-reflection to cultivate a steady, openhearted presence. This practice helps us stay with the discomfort of not knowing, being wrong, or feeling helpless—key conditions for genuine connection and compassionate love.______________Matthew Brensilver, MSW, PhD teaches retreats at the Insight Retreat Center, Spirit Rock and other Buddhist centers. He was previously program director for Mindful Schools and for more than a decade, was a core teacher at Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society.Matthew worked as a clinical social worker, serving severely and persistently mentally ill adults and adolescents. He subsequently earned a PhD from the Dworak-Peck School of Social Work at USC where he was a Provost’s Fellow. His dissertation examined the mechanisms of risk and resilience in maltreated adolescents in a large, longitudinal study in South Los Angeles.Before committing to teach meditation full-time, he spent years doing research on addiction pharmacotherapy at the UCLA Center for Behavioral and Addiction Medicine.Each summer, he lectures at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center on the intersections between mindfulnes ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• Being an Island of Order in a Sea of Disorder - Larry Robinson

  As practitioners, how can we respond when things fall apart?Larry Robinson invites us to find refuge and stability amid chaotic and uncertain times by leaning into the core Buddhist teachings and practices. He frames our current historical moment as a “dark age” where things seem to fall apart, but reminds us that history moves in cycles and renewal always follows. Larry highlights the importance of taking refuge in the Three Jewels—the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha—and cultivating the Brahma Viharas, the four divine abodes: Loving-kindness (metta)Compassion (karuna)Sympathetic joy (mudita)Equanimity (upekkha)These qualities help create “islands of order” amid disorder, which can attract and inspire new patterns of peace and understanding. He also shares a beautiful St. Francis prayer inviting us to be instruments of peace through love, pardon, faith, hope, and light.Larry offers practical and heartfelt ways to cultivate equanimity in daily life, such as his morning walks connecting with nature, practicing gratitude by counting blessings, and embracing impermanence without resistance. He underscores the Buddhist insight that suffering awakens compassion and that compassion connects us to the community of all beings, not just the immediate Sangha. He encourages embracing uncertainty and “not knowing” as a profound spiritual practice, illustrated by the story of the Chinese farmer who responds “maybe” to life’s ups and downs, reminding us that what appears good or bad is never fixed. Through poems, personal stories of grief and joy, and reflections on impermanence, Larry gently guides us to open-hearted acceptance, reminding us that even in dark times, the earth always turns toward the morning light and that hope beyond hope—true faith—is found in trusting things as they are.______________Larry Robinson has been a practicing Buddhist for 47 years, mostly in the Zen and Vipassana traditions. He is a member of the Occidental Laguna Sangha in Sebastopol, studying with Bruce Fortin in the lineage of Suzuki Roshi. A long-time environmental and social justice activist, he is a retired ecopsychologist and former mayor of Sebastopol. He serves on the board of directors of the Center for Climate Protection and the board of trustees of Meridian University. His “large and foolish project” (in the words of Rumi) is to restore the soul of the world through reawakening the oral tradition of poetry. He is the founder and producer of Rumi’s Caravan https://rumiscaravan.com/  ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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