The Gay Buddhist Forum by GBF

In this reflection on retreat life, four GBF community members explore how taking time away from our relentless routines, news cycles, and digital devices offers a quiet sanctuary to examine our habits and cultivate genuine peace. 
Rather than an escape, a retreat serves as a vital "laboratory for daily life"—a container where the cloudy, stirred-up waters of our busy minds can finally settle so we can see the deep substrate beneath. By immersing ourselves in extended silence, noble heart practices, and simple daily rituals, we reconnect with a thousands-year-old lineage and experience the profound benefits of collective practice:
Clearing Sensory Overload: Stepping back from constant stimulation allows our habitual mental chatter to quiet down, revealing clearer insights into how our minds work.
Anchoring in Loving-Kindness (Metta): Focusing on simple phrases of goodwill—wishing that all beings be happy, healthy, safe, and free—transforms both sitting and walking meditation into a deep practice of love.
Forging Deep, Silent Community: Sharing quiet meals, silent meditation, and heart-centered connection exercises builds an unseen bond of trust and intimacy across the Sangha without the strain of social performance.
Transforming Everyday Moments: The clarity and patience we cultivate on retreat directly spill over into our ordinary lives, turning everyday delays—like waiting for the bus or sitting in traffic—into opportunities for mindfulness and generosity.
Ultimately, going on retreat gives us a powerful chance to "level up" our practice and return to our daily lives re-energized, softer, and more present. Whether we are chanting ancient Pali verses or engaging in heartfelt group sharing when silence is released, the gifts we receive on retreat naturally ripple out to benefit everyone around us. 
With our upcoming Fall Retreat September 25-27, 2026 featuring teacher Prasadachitta, we have a wonderful opportunity to step back into this transformative space, test these teachings in our own lives, and bring the Dharma vividly to life.
SPEAKERS:
Cass Brayton
Henry Rabinowitz
Matthew Perifano
Tom Bruein
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:  
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CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Donald Rothberg helps us lean into dharma wisdom to navigate the difficult realities of our world without becoming numb, overwhelmed, or cynical. 
We often focus our Buddhist practice solely on personal meditation, but Donald reminds us that true path-walking spans wisdom, meditation, and ethical care for the broader world. Looking back to early Buddhist history and figures like Emperor Ashoka, Donald shows us that spiritual practice has always held a vital social dimension alongside individual awakening. He offers a practical eight-part framework for modern times, guiding us to bring clarity, deep heart, and active care to today's complex landscape.
Donald outlines eight key principles to help us weave our spiritual practice into daily life and social action:
Grounding in Vision: We stay connected to our core vision of wisdom, love, and awakening so we don't lose our direction during challenging times.
Connecting Inner and Outer: We unite our personal meditation practice with outward care, integrating self-transformation with active service to others.
Applying Wisdom to Society: We recognize how greed, hatred, and delusion operate not just within our own minds, but also as institutionalized forces in the wider world.
Practicing with Difficult Emotions: Instead of turning numb to troubling news, we use mindfulness and group connection to process accumulated grief, anger, and fear.
Maintaining Joy: We keep contact with wonder, music, and delight, remembering that joy is an inherent part of our being that sustains us through hardship.
Grounding in Ethics: We practice non-harming in our personal relationships while taking active steps to address larger harms in our society.
Grounding in Community: We cultivate meaningful, in-person connections to support one another and create a beloved community.
Listening for Our Calling: We discover our own unique way to respond, focusing on what makes us come alive to meet the needs of the world.
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Donald Rothberg, Ph.D., is a member of the Teachers Council at Spirit Rock Center, a guiding teacher for the Marin Sangha in San Rafael, California, and a regular teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center in Oakland, California, Southern Dharma Retreat Center, InsightLA, and New York Insight.
He teaches retreats and groups on concentration and insight meditation practice, lovingkindness practice, transforming the judgmental mind, mindful communication, working skillfully with conflict, and socially engaged Buddhism.
He has practiced insight meditation since 1976, and has also received training in Tibetan Dzogchen, body-based psychotherapy, and trauma work. He has helped guide many six-month to two-year training programs in socially engaged spirituality, both Buddhist-based and interfaith, and is the author of The Engaged Spiritual Life: A Buddhist Approach to Transforming Ourselves and the World, and the co-editor of Ken Wilber in Dialogue.
Learn more at https://donaldrothberg.com
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:  
 Donate 
 Learn how to participate live 
 Find our schedule of upcoming speakers 
 Join our mailing list or discussion forum
 Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995
CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

John Martin explores how we can find a steadfast sense of peace and trust when life brings us unexpected pain, uncertainty, and constant change. 
John defines Buddhist faith not as blind adherence to dogmas or rigid beliefs, but as pasada—a radical, wholehearted trusting of our own direct experience. He reminds us that true freedom isn't dependent on having perfect health, ideal finances, or flawless circumstances, but on cultivating an inner contentment that cannot be shaken by the ups and downs of the world. Instead of running away from difficult emotions or physical discomfort, we are invited to turn toward our direct experience with mindfulness and self-compassion, discovering that when we stop fighting reality, peace is immediately available right here in the present moment.
John outlines several core practices and insights that illuminate how this deep trust in the heart can transform our daily lives:
Pasada vs. Dogma: Rather than adopting a set of external rules or beliefs, Buddhist faith is the freeing process of letting go of fixed opinions so we can show up fully to whatever is arising right now.
Turning Toward Difficulty: By directly meeting challenging emotions like anger or physical pain with bare awareness, we realize they are temporary, conditioned arisings rather than fixed parts of our identity.
Releasing Reactivity: Suffering occurs in the friction between what is happening and what we wish were happening; as our mental reactivity drops away, we stop creating the "second arrow" of self-inflicted pain.
The Four Manifestations of Faith: Trust naturally unfolds when we step into the fullness of who we are, commit to non-harming and service, gain direct insight into the Four Noble Truths, and lean into the supportive warmth of community.
By leaning into this practice together, we can cultivate an unshakable refuge within ourselves and navigate life's inevitable shifts with an open, compassionate heart.
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John Martin teaches Vipassana (Insight), Metta (Loving Kindness) and LGBTQIA+ meditation retreats. He leads an ongoing weekly Monday evening meditation group in San Francisco. He serves as Co-chair of the Guiding Teachers Council for Spirit Rock. His practice has been supported by twelve years as a hospice volunteer, including five years at Shanti Project during the AIDS crisis and seven years with the Zen Hospice project.
Find his upcoming events at: https://calendar.spiritrock.org/event-speaker/john-martin/
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:  
 Donate 
 Learn how to participate live 
 Find our schedule of upcoming speakers 
 Join our mailing list or discussion forum
 Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995
CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

This talk is a preview of the GBF Fall Retreat: Our Belonging to Kindness: Awakening to the World We Carry Together, September 25-27, 2026.
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How do we take ancient, highly analytical Buddhist teachings and make them truly land in our everyday, modern lives?
In this warm and deeply personal talk, Prasadachitta helps us imagine what it must have been like to be in the presence of the Buddha, hearing him speak directly to us in language that is easily understood. He invites us to step away from academic perfectionism and instead embrace the Buddha’s “come and see” invitation to experience a colloquial relationship with the Dharma.
Prasadachitta explains that he isn’t concerned with strict historical or translation accuracy. Instead, he feels empowered as a practitioner to make these teachings real in his own life, letting the translated phrases of the Karaniya Metta Sutta shift and be rephrased depending on how they “hit” him, trusting that actual practice will naturally self-correct any misunderstandings. To remind us that the Dharma is built to be accessible, he shares the traditional qualities of teaching from the Dharma Vandana, proving that the truth is always meant to be practical:
Intelligible and Well-Communicated: The Buddha always met people where they were, using everyday language and lived experiences (like those of farmers or kings) so we can actually do something with what is being communicated.
Experienced Here and Now: It is a testable path that we can start practicing and verifying in our lives immediately.
Perennial: Its core truths are timeless, surviving any historical or cultural change.
Open to Investigation (Ehipassiko): It functions as a personal “come and see” invitation rather than a rigid system demanding blind belief.
Progressive: It leads us onward, continuously unpacking new layers of wisdom as we engage with it.
Individually Verifiable: It is ultimately validated through our own direct experience, turning us into the wise ones who know peace for themselves.
With this open-minded, personal approach, Prasadachitta guides us directly into the Karaniya Metta Sutta as a highly practical roadmap for our spiritual growth. Rather than treating its instructions as abstract rules, he encourages us to relate to them through our own physical, lived experiences.
When the sutta asks us to be upright but “flexible,” he illustrates this with a wonderful story about a flight attendant who playfully deputized snack-stealing kids to help her hand out peanuts, transforming a potential moment of conflict into an act of community.
To make the sutta’s famous instruction to love “as a mother cherishes her only child” real for himself, he connects it to his own mother’s “rough” but deep, physical hugs that he can still feel in his body today.
By bringing our own imagination and personal memories into the practice, we learn to cultivate a fierce, boundless goodwill that moves us from everyday “eminence” to spiritual “transcendence”.
Ultimately, Prasadachitta promises that as we rest in this unlimited kindness, we naturally let go of our rigid views, become spontaneously ethical, and experience a quiet, complete sense of freedom.
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Prasadachitta was ordained into the Triratna Buddhist Order in 2011 and he became the Chair of the San Francisco Buddhist Center in April 2022. He was born on a “back to the land” commune in rural Northern California and that background has inspired his engagement with others in building the SFBC’s rural meditation center called Dharmadhara. He also helped to establish a community of sangha members who support the retreats there. He supports himself as a documentary filmmaker and photographer but his real life’s work is training others who want to practice Buddhism within the Triratna Buddhist Community.
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:  
 Donate 
 Learn how to participate live 
 Find our schedule of upcoming speakers 
 Join our mailing list or discussion forum
 Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995
CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Eli Talen invites us to examine our endless pursuit of perfection and the exhausting habit of waiting until everything is organized before we allow ourselves to start living. 
We can easily get caught wishing for ideal conditions—whether waiting for smooth traffic, perfect relationships, or orderly cupboards—rather than meeting the messy reality of the present moment. Recalling a phrase from Emily Dickinson, that we "believe and disbelieve a hundred times an hour," Eli explains that this constant back-and-forth doesn't mean we are failing; rather, it keeps our minds flexible and serves as a living, nimble form of faith in an unpredictable world.
To help us step out of the trap of postponing our lives until things are flawless, Eli shares several practical insights for navigating uncertainty with greater heart:
The Buddha’s Earth-Touching Courage: Meeting uncertainty with the humble honesty of the Buddha facing Mara under the Bodhi tree, adopting the spirit of "I don't know how to do this thing called life, and I'm going to do it anyway".
Shifting from Separation to Connection: Moving away from a tight, defensive mindset ("this happened to you") toward a shared, relational heart ("we're in this together"), much like Eli experienced while walking among the fire-scarred trees at Point Reyes.
Relational Mindfulness: Bringing our attention inward when triggered by others—investigating what hurts in us rather than reacting—and gently acknowledging our underlying sadness or fear.
Resting in the Breath: Using the simple process of breathing, as highlighted by teacher Ajahn Sucitto, to feel held and anchored whenever our minds feel chaotic.
Practicing Wise Discernment: Remembering that mindfulness is not about forcing ourselves to endure harmful situations, but exercising discernment to make compassionate choices for ourselves.
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Eli Talen has practiced insight meditation for a couple of decades and has taught meditation in prisons and free communities for the past ten. Mindfulness is for him an innate awakening to the present and a refuge from fear and self-centeredness. He is inspired to engage with others who are open to building faith in the here and now and are oriented toward an ethical care and intimacy with the world. He lives in Berkeley, California, works as a psychotherapist, plays the organ. In prior lives he also served as an attorney and professor of German literature.
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:  
 Donate 
 Learn how to participate live 
 Find our schedule of upcoming speakers 
 Join our mailing list or discussion forum
 Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995
CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter