Secret #57: Conflict Resilience with Bob Bordone and Dr. Joel Salinas
Navigating difficult conversations at home, work, or in our polarized world can feel overwhelming—but what if building conflict resilience is the key to deeper connection and transformative growth? In this eye-opening episode, hosts Emma Waddington and Chris McCurry dive into the science and art of facing conflict head-on with nationally recognized conflict resolution expert Bob Bordone and behavioral neurologist Dr. Joel Salinas, co-authors of the groundbreaking book Conflict Resilience.Discover why avoiding conflict (or rushing to “resolve” it) can actually harm relationships, communities, and even your own wellbeing. Our guests reveal how embracing discomfort, developing emotional awareness, and unlearning reactive patterns empowers us to connect authentically—even across divides that seem unbridgeable. You’ll learn about the brain’s “five Fs” in conflict, practical skills for sitting with tension, and why naming your emotions is the first step toward breakthrough.Whether you’re a parent, partner, leader, or simply tired of the stress that comes with disagreement, this episode is packed with actionable insights and inspiring stories that will help you struggle well—and come out stronger. Tune in and discover the dirty little secret to lifelong connection: real resilience in the heat of conflict.Topics Discussed in this Episode:Building conflict resilience skillsThe neuroscience behind conflict avoidanceEmotional literacy in difficult conversationsPsychological safety in diverse teamsStrategies for managing polarized relationshipsView extended shownotes hereORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids) The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
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Secret #56: Spirituality with Dr. Matthieu Villatte
Are you searching for a deeper sense of connection, purpose, and meaning—beyond the confines of organized religion? This powerful episode of Life’s Dirty Little Secrets dives into the world of modern spirituality, uncovering why so many people crave meaning without religious labels and how spiritual practices can transform resilience, mental health, and even our everyday relationships.Join leading psychologist, author, and ACT trainer Matthieu Villatte as he explores what it really means to be “spiritual but not religious,” the science-backed benefits of spiritual awareness, and how spirituality—through mindfulness, values, and connection—can help us navigate grief, loss, division, and life’s toughest moments. Discover why harmony, transcendence, and embracing life’s ups and downs are at the core of genuine spiritual wellbeing. Whether you’re a believer, a skeptic, or something in between, Matthieu—and hosts Chris McCurry and Emma Waddington—offer practical tools and fresh insights for building connection, meaning, and hope in chaotic times.If you want to tap into profound human wisdom, strengthen your resilience, or simply find more joy and purpose in daily living, this episode is your guide to spirituality for the modern world. Don’t miss this inspiring conversation about the small “dirty little secrets” that make us more whole, human, and alive.Topics Discussed in this Episode:Distinction between spirituality and religionPsychological benefits of spiritual practicesRole of connectedness in resilienceChallenges of maintaining spiritual harmonyTranscendence and meaning-making in daily lifeView extended shownotes hereORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids) The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
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Secret #55: Belonging with Meg McKelvie
Feeling like you don’t truly belong—no matter how hard you try—can leave you lonely, anxious, and questioning your self-worth. In this transformative episode of Life’s Dirty Little Secrets, we unravel the real nature of belonging: what it means, why we ache for it, and how to find it from the inside out.Hosts Emma Waddington and Chris McCurry is joined by licensed clinical psychologist Meg McElvie, an expert in cognitive behavioral and acceptance and commitment therapies, for a profound conversation that turns the concept of belonging on its head. Together, they explore the three layers of belonging—social, internal, and spiritual—revealing why true belonging starts within and is our birthright, not something to be earned.Discover the difference between fitting in and authentic connection, the evolutionary roots of our yearning to belong, and how cultural pressures sabotage our sense of self. Meg shares practical strategies, from mindful self-inquiry to nature rituals and expressive writing, to help you reconnect with your sense of belonging. You’ll also learn why helping others feel included is a radical act of self-acceptance and social justice.If you’ve ever struggled with loneliness, social anxiety, or felt like you just don’t fit, this episode is your invitation to remember: you’re not alone, you don’t have to change to belong, and your place in the world is already yours. Listen in for a compassionate, eye-opening guide to finding connection—starting with yourself.Topics Discussed in this episode:Innate yearning for human belongingInside-out approach to self-acceptanceShame and self-stories around inclusionCultivating compassion through shared humanityRadical social justice via belongingClick here to view extended shownotesORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids) The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
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Secret #54: The Reign of Pain (Lies Mainly in the Brain) with Howard Schubiner
Chronic pain, anxiety, depression, and fatigue are some of life’s most stubborn challenges—but what if the true cause, and the path to lasting relief, lies not in your body, but in your brain? In this eye-opening episode of Life’s Dirty Little Secrets, we uncover the groundbreaking science of pain with renowned mind-body physician Dr. Howard Schubiner.Learn how cutting-edge neuroscience reveals that most chronic pain and related conditions aren’t the result of structural damage, but are instead generated by the brain’s protective mechanisms—often triggered by stress, trauma, or emotional injury. Dr. Schubiner shares powerful, research-backed techniques including pain reprocessing therapy, emotional awareness and expression, and practical life changes that can help you break free from the vicious cycle of pain and fear.From Emma Waddington’s personal healing journey to astonishing real-life recoveries, this episode will transform your understanding of pain—and give you hope that recovery is closer than you think. Don’t miss this essential conversation for anyone living with persistent pain, unexplained symptoms, or looking to reclaim their wellbeing!Highlights:Neuroscience of predictive processing in painEmotional injury activating danger signalsChronic pain and structural diagnosis mythsMind body conditions in womenPain reprocessing and emotional awareness therapyView Extended Shownotes hereORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids) The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
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Secret #53: Biological Empathy with Alex Graybar
Are you feeling overwhelmed by modern life, increasingly stressed, isolated, or disconnected from the natural world? This enlightening episode uncovers the hidden crisis at the heart of our well-being—how today’s hyper-connected, fast-paced society is fundamentally at odds with our biological and emotional needs.Join us as we dive deep with entrepreneur, writer, and systems thinker Alex Graybar, founder of the civic tech platform Votr, who champions a bold new philosophy he calls “biological humanism.” Discover why ancient social instincts, evolutionary drives, and our need for nature still rule our behavior—even as technology, capitalism, and urban life pull us away from what truly makes us thrive.From the dangers of relentless striving and screen addiction to the profound healing power of a simple walk in the park, we explore eye-opening research, the down-to-earth wisdom of the biophilia hypothesis, and real-life strategies for restoring balance and community. Plus, learn how everyday choices, biological empathy, and reconnecting with nature can break the toxic cycle of stress and disconnection.Whether you’re a city dweller yearning for connection or a changemaker passionate about sustainability, this episode will challenge the way you see society, and inspire you to rediscover the simple (and often overlooked) secrets to a life in harmony with the world around you. Don’t miss this transformative conversation—your well-being (and the planet) may depend on it!Highlights:Biological empathy and human connectionImpact of modern systems on well-beingBiophilia hypothesis and restorative natureIndividualism versus collective well-beingTechnology-driven stress and social isolationView extended shownotes hereORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids) The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
We often find ourselves comparing our internal struggles to the flawless images others project, leaving us feeling isolated and misunderstood. But here’s the truth: you are not alone. Join psychologists Emma Waddington and Chris McCurry as they delve into the little-discussed yet incredibly common challenges that come with striving to be your best self.In each episode of "Life's Dirty Little Secrets," you'll find thoughtful conversations filled with insights, humor, and compassion that reflect the beautiful complexity of being human. Together, we’ll explore the raw realities of issues like anxiety, depression, self-esteem, grief, and the nuanced journey of growing up.Whether it's confronting the pressures of modern life or unpacking emotional baggage, we provide a safe space for you to resonate with these experiences. Our intriguing discussions with expert guests will illuminate your path toward understanding and healing.Tune in for practical answers to your pressing questions, such as: How can I better manage anxiety and stress? What can help me overcome self-doubt? How do I navigate grief and find solace? How does self-compassion play a role in my journey? What steps can I take towards greater emotional clarity?Join us weekly as we embrace the messiness of life and uncover the secrets that bind us together. With every episode, you’ll feel empowered, understood, and reminded that it’s perfectly okay to not have it all figured out. Together, let’s embark on this journey of self-discovery and compassion—because we all have secrets, and it’s time to share them.
New Zealand