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Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas

Ruth Vercoe
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
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  • 042 Five things I wish I knew about Birth and Postpartum with Jade from Your Mama Journey
    Feeling overwhelmed after birth? You’re not alone.In this week’s episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I’m joined by Jade from Your Mama Journey. A mum, an accredited mental health social worker, and the creator of beautiful guided journals designed to help women reflect on their birth and postpartum journeys.Like many of us, Jade expected her birth to go one way… and then it went another. An emergency C-section changed everything, and while she held her healthy daughter in her arms, she was also left with a swirl of emotions she didn’t know what to do with. Sound familiar?So often, we prepare for birth with hospital bag lists and antenatal classes, but no one really prepares us for how the early days of motherhood feel. That’s why this conversation is so powerful. Jade opens up about the five things she wishes she knew after birth, lessons that can help you feel less alone, more supported, and more confident as you navigate your own journey.We talk about:Why motherhood can feel lonely, even when you’re never aloneHow emotional recovery matters just as much as physical healingWhy you don’t have to feel grateful all the time (and why that’s okay)The truth that birth rarely goes to plan, and that doesn’t mean you’ve failedHow journaling your birth story can be a powerful tool for healingWhether your child is 6 weeks or 6 years old, these insights will resonate. Because, becoming a mum changes us forever, and making sense of that journey takes time.This episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and give yourself permission to honour your story. There’s no right way to process it, and there’s no time limit. As Jade reminds us, even mums of ten-year-olds find healing when they finally put words to their birth experience. If you’ve ever felt:“I should feel grateful, but I’m struggling…”“I thought my birth plan would protect me from this…”“No one told me it would feel this lonely…”…then this conversation will remind you that you are not failing. You’re not alone. And you deserve support, reflection, and connection as much as your baby deserves care.And if this episode encourages you, please subscribe, share it with a friend who needs to hear it, or leave a review — it helps other parents find the support they need, too.Remember: today is a great day to play.Send us a textIf you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.Support the showIf this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review! I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.Facebook and Instagram @[email protected] and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!
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  • 041 Do Twins Really Need to Share Everything? 5 Insights for Twin Parents
    Parenting twins is a beautiful gift but, it can also feel overwhelming. From double nappies to double tantrums, everything feels doubled. And when it comes to sharing, many parents wonder: Should twins always share? What if they’re constantly fighting over the same toy? How do I teach fairness without endless meltdowns?In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I’m joined by Smadar, a New Zealand–based twin specialist and founder of Twinful Life. With more than 15 years of experience supporting families around the world, Smadar knows exactly what parents of twins need to hear: sharing isn’t always caring, and it’s okay for twins to have their own things.Together, we unpack some of the most common challenges twin parents face and offer practical, play-based strategies to bring more peace, confidence, and joy into daily life.What We Cover in This EpisodeThe truth about sharing: Why children under 3–4 aren’t developmentally ready to share in the way we expect.Why forced sharing backfires: How telling kids to hand things over doesn’t build kindness, it builds compliance. The power of ownership: Why giving twins their own belongings helps reduce conflict and build independence. The guilt and entitlement trap: How constant sharing pressures can lead to tricky behaviours and big emotions. Fair vs. equal: Why twins don’t need two of everything, and how normalising differences sets them up for real-life success.Even if you don’t have twins, these lessons apply to all young children. Siblings close in age, playdates with friends, even cousins at family gatherings, the same principles hold true.When you understand what your child is really learning through play and conflict, you can respond with more empathy and less frustration. You’ll discover that:Play is learning. Every conflict is a chance to practise problem-solving, patience, and connection.Small shifts matter. Just a few tweaks in how you approach sharing can completely change the tone in your home.Connection is key. It’s not about getting it “perfect”; it’s about creating an environment where your children feel seen, safe, and supported.To connect with Smadar, Click here to follow her on Instagram or here to head to her websiteAnd remember, today is a great day to play!Send us a textIf you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.Support the showIf this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review! I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.Facebook and Instagram @[email protected] and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!
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  • 040 5 Messy Play Tips Every Parent Needs with Sam from Messy Mates
    Messy play can feel like chaos… but what if it’s actually one of the best things you can do for your child’s learning, confidence, and connection?In this episode, I sit down with Sam, founder of Messy Mates, to talk about the hidden magic of messy play and how parents can make it easier (and less stressful!) to bring into everyday life.What we cover:Why messy play is a developmental goldmineHow it boosts creativity and confidenceThe surprising role messy play has in parent–child connectionSimple ways to contain the mess (so you can actually enjoy it!)Why messy play is for all ages... babies to grownupsAbout today’s guest:Sam is the creative force behind Messy Mates NZ, a play-based business in Christchurch offering families a safe, joyful space to explore messy play, without the clean-up stress! You’ll often find her covered in rice, slime, or paint, championing play as a tool for learning and family connection.Find Sam here:Instagram: @messymatesnzWebsite: www.messymates.co.nzFacebook: Messy Mates NZResources mentioned:Play Schemas: www.playschemas.com/freeBlog + full links: www.playschemas.com/blogSend us a textIf you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.Support the showIf this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review! I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.Facebook and Instagram @[email protected] and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!
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  • 039 New Baby, New Balance: How to Care for Yourself While Caring for Your Baby
    Bringing a new baby into the world is magical,  but it can also feel overwhelming. Between sleepless nights, adjusting to life as a bigger family, and trying to find time for yourself, it’s easy for mums to feel stretched thin. That’s why this week, I’m joined by Ally from @EntwinedParenting, who shares her 5 top tips for welcoming a newborn into the family, with a big focus on looking after yourself as a mum.This episode is all about making those early days feel a little lighter and more supported. Whether you’re about to welcome your first baby or adding another sibling to the mix, Ally’s advice is both practical and reassuring. She understands the challenges parents face, and she brings a wealth of experience to help you navigate this tender season with more confidence and calm.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why your wellbeing as a mum matters just as much as your newborn’s.Simple ways to care for yourself even in the busiest days.How to manage the transition when older siblings are adjusting to a new baby.Practical tips for creating rhythms and routines that support the whole family.Encouragement to let go of perfection and embrace what works for your unique family.If you’ve ever wondered, “How do I balance it all when I bring a new baby home?” or worried about how your older children will adjust, this conversation will leave you feeling less alone and more empowered. Ally’s approach is filled with empathy, kindness, and realistic strategies that actually work in the real, messy, beautiful world of parenting.Because you deserve support too. As mums, we’re often told to focus on the baby, but your wellbeing shapes your child’s wellbeing. This episode reminds you that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential.Perfect for you if:You’re expecting a baby and want to feel more prepared.You’re in the thick of newborn life and need gentle encouragement.You’re parenting toddlers or preschoolers alongside a newborn and feeling stretched.You’re craving real, down-to-earth parenting advice you can actually use.So pop your headphones in while feeding the baby, folding the washing, or sneaking a quick walk, and let this episode give you the boost of support and wisdom you need.If you enjoy this episode:Hit subscribe so you never miss new insights on parenting, play, and child development.Leave a review to Send us a textIf you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.Support the showIf this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review! I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.Facebook and Instagram @[email protected] and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!
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  • 038 Welcoming a New Baby? Help Your Toddler Adjust with Less Stress & More Connection
    If you’re a parent of a toddler or preschooler and you’ve got a newborn on the way, you already know it’s about to be a season of big feelings, big changes, and a whole lot less sleep. Between preparing the cot, stocking up on nappies, and navigating your own emotions, it’s easy to wonder: How will my little one cope when the baby arrives?In this practical episode of Demystifying Child’s Play | Play Schemas, I’m sharing exactly how I’m preparing my two children (almost 2 and 4) for the arrival of baby number three – using the power of play schemas to help them feel secure, included, and loved during the transition.You’ll discover:What play schemas are – those repetitive, curious, sometimes chaotic behaviours that toddlers just can’t resist (and why they matter).How understanding your child’s schemas can turn frustration into connection, especially during the upheaval of welcoming a newborn.My top three things every child needs to know about a new baby (hint: it’s not a biology lesson, it’s simple, memorable, and works wonders).How schemas like transportation, enveloping, and positioning can be your secret parenting ally during this transition.The beautiful overlap between play schemas and love languages – and how you can use both to make your child feel truly seen and valued.From toddlers pushing the pram back and forth (transportation schema), to building endless enclosures for toys (enclosure schema), to wrapping dolls in blankets (enveloping schema), these aren’t just random acts of play. They’re your child’s way of processing change, rehearsing care, and making sense of their evolving world.By noticing these patterns and offering small, schema-friendly activities, you can help your child:Feel part of caring for the babyUnderstand what’s happening in age-appropriate waysAvoid feeling left out when your attention is dividedStrengthen your bond instead of clashing in moments of overwhelmWhether you’re walking, folding laundry, or catching a rare quiet moment, this episode will give you the tools and confidence to turn this potentially rocky transition into a season of deeper family connection.Because preparing your toddler for a sibling isn’t about perfection, it’s about connection. And with a little play schema insight, you can help your child feel safe, included, and even excited about the changes ahead.Listen now and discover how to make welcoming a new baby smoother for everyone – one play schema aSend us a textIf you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.Support the showIf this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review! I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.Facebook and Instagram @[email protected] and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!
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About Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas

Kia ora, Hello! I’m Ruth Vercoe, a teacher-turned-mum, here on a mission to demystify Child’s Play through understanding play schemas.If you’ve ever found yourself asking, 'Why is my child doing that?'—whether it’s throwing their soft toys, hiding stones around the house, or lining up their crayons —then you’re in the right place, and certainly not alone.Here, we’ll explore the magic of play through the lens of play schemas—those hidden repeated patterns in your child’s behaviour that hold the key to unlocking more meaningful play and connection.Join me each week as we dive into playful insights that will help you bring more joy, connection and understanding into your parenting journey. Get in contact atEmail [email protected] and Instagram @Play_Schemas
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