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Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas

Ruth Vercoe
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
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  • 050 Create a Connected, Calm, and Joy-Filled Christmas with Your Child
     What Your Child Really Wants for Christmas (It’s Not What’s Under the Tree)This week on Demystifying Child’s Play, Ruth Vercoe is joined by Linda from The Thriving Home and The Connection Couple to explore what truly makes Christmas magical... connection. If you’ve ever felt torn between creating a picture-perfect holiday and actually being present with your kids, this episode will help you slow down, simplify, and reconnect.Linda shares her and her husband Matt’s Connection First Parenting approach, a practical, research-backed framework built around four key pillars: connection, repair, responsibility, and developmental awareness. Together, they unpack how these ideas can transform the way families experience the festive season.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why connection is at the heart of all positive parenting, especially at Christmas.How to plan for connection (not perfection) with simple, stress-free ideas.The neuroscience behind why your child remembers moments, not gifts.How the Thriving Advent Calendar turns December into 24 days of meaningful family connection.Simple ways to slow down and make space for presence over pressure.Whether you’re baking cookies, decorating the tree, or wrapping presents, this episode reminds you that your child’s most cherished memories come from how it felt to be with you.Listen in, breathe out, and rediscover the joy of a slower, more connected Christmas.🔗 Show notes & links: Find all the resources mentioned at playschemas.com/blog If this episode resonates, please subscribe, share, or leave a review, it helps more parents find calm and connection this Christmas.Send us a textIf you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.Support the showIf this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review! I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.Facebook and Instagram @[email protected] and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!
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  • 049 Connect Before You Correct: Parenting Neurodiverse Kids with Compassion
    Ever wondered how to truly connect with your neurodiverse child, especially when life feels like one long guessing game? In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, host Ruth Vercoe welcomes Sarah from We Are Equal — a mum of four, early childhood teacher, and passionate advocate for neurodiversity, to share the five powerful lessons she wishes she’d known going into parenting her autistic son.  From navigating “safe foods” and understanding sensory overload to handling social pressures, stimming, and affection in ways that honour your child’s needs, Sarah’s real-life stories offer empathy, relief, and practical wisdom. You’ll learn why connection before correction can transform those challenging moments into opportunities for growth, for both you and your child.  Whether you’re parenting a neurodiverse or neurotypical child, this episode is a gentle reminder that it’s okay to slow down, give yourself grace, and focus on what truly matters: connection, understanding, and love.  Tune in, learn alongside us, and share this episode with a friend who could use some reassurance that they’re doing an amazing job.Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode that helps you parent with confidence and heart!Send us a textIf you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.Support the showIf this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review! I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.Facebook and Instagram @[email protected] and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!
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  • 048 Dinovember, Dinosaurs & Play Schemas: Turning Toddler Chaos into Connection
    Discover the Magic of Dino-vember, and the Hidden Learning in Your Child’s Play!What if your child’s love of dinosaurs could actually help you understand why they play the way they do?In this fun and insightful episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, Ruth Vercoe dives into Dino-vember, that magical month where toy dinosaurs mysteriously come alive overnight, and reveals how it’s so much more than a playful tradition. It’s a unique opportunity to connect with your child, understand their behaviour, and nurture their development through play schemas.If you’ve ever found yourself stepping over toy dinosaurs, cleaning up endless messes, or wondering why your toddler seems obsessed with throwing, lining up, or transporting everything they can get their hands on, this episode is for you.Ruth explains what play schemas are, the natural, repeated patterns of behaviour children use to explore and make sense of the world — and how noticing them can completely transform how you see your child’s play.During this episode, you’ll discover: What play schemas are and how they show up in your child’s everyday play.How to use Dinovember to observe and support your child’s unique play urges, while having loads of fun!Simple, creative ideas for setting up schema-aligned dinosaur play, no fancy setups required.Practical parenting tips to reframe challenging behaviour and build stronger connections through play.Ruth walks you through the 10 common play schemas, like trajectory, transportation, rotation, positioning, enclosure, transformation, connection, disconnection, and more, and gives real-life examples of how you might see them during Dino-vember. From dinosaurs zip-lining across the lounge to delivering little treasures between rooms, each setup becomes a playful window into your child’s mind.She also shares stories from her teaching and parenting experiences, including how understanding play schemas helped one mum go from feeling overwhelmed by her child’s constant throwing to feeling confident and connected. Once she realised it was the trajectory schema in action, she set up safe, intentional ways for her child to explore movement, turning chaos into calm.Through the laughter, imagination, and joy of Dino-vember, Ruth reminds us that play is not “just play”, it’s powerful learning in action. Every time your child builds, hides, lines up, or transforms something, their brain is growing. And every time you notice and join in, your relationship grows too.Whether you’re a parent,Send us a textIf you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.Support the showIf this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review! I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.Facebook and Instagram @[email protected] and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!
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  • 047 Why Knowing Your “Normal” Could Save Your Life
    What if prioritising your own health could be the most important thing you ever do for your children? In this powerful and deeply honest conversation on Demystifying Child’s Play, Ruth Vercoe talks with Tamara Milne, a radiographer and mum who was just 33 and weeks away from welcoming her second baby when she received a life-changing diagnosis: breast cancer.Tamara shares how knowing her normal and performing regular self-checks quite literally saved her life, and how every parent can do the same. This episode might be a little off-topic from play, but it’s a vital one for every mum, dad, and caregiver to hear.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why no one is immune from breast cancer, regardless of age, gender, or lifestyle.The signs and symptoms of breast cancer you need to know (it’s not just lumps).How to model healthy body awareness and wellbeing for your children.Why looking after yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential.How regular breast self-checks can become part of your everyday routine.Key takeaway:“If I’m not looking after myself and my wellbeing suffers, I quite literally might not be here for my children.” – Tamara MilneTamara’s story is a powerful reminder that as parents, we can’t pour from an empty cup. Looking after your health is looking after your family.Read the full show notes and transcript: https://playschemas.com/blog Learn more about Tamara’s movement: https://checkyourbits.co.nz Follow Check Your Bits on Instagram: https://instagram.com/checkyourbits Follow The Play Schemas Collective on Instagram: https://instagram.com/play_schemasSend us a textIf you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.Support the showIf this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review! I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.Facebook and Instagram @[email protected] and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!
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  • 046 How Play Builds Language: The Secret Link Every Parent Should Know
    Did you know your toddler’s everyday play is secretly building the foundations for language and communication?If you’ve ever worried about whether your child is talking “enough,” or wondered how you can best support their speech and confidence, this episode will give you the reassurance and practical strategies you’ve been searching for.As parents, we often look for ways to help our children learn—but the truth is, the most powerful tool is already happening right in your lounge, at the park, or even in the Tupperware drawer: play.In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I talk with Paige from Talk First Words and we explore the fascinating connection between play and language development, and why the games and activities your child chooses aren’t random at all. They’re essential building blocks for how your child will talk, think, and connect with others.You’ll discover:Why play is the foundation of language and how it shapes your child’s brain for communication.How everyday games like peekaboo, hiding under blankets, or pretending to feed Teddy link directly to early speech and vocabulary growth.The different stages of play; from simple social games to imaginative storytelling, and how each stage supports communication in a unique way.The role of play schemas (like enveloping, trajectory, and positioning) in giving your child the words and concepts they need to describe their world.Play is so much more than entertainment. It’s your child’s first language. By understanding the link between play and speech, you’ll feel empowered to support your child without pressure or overwhelm.When you join in your child’s play, even for a few minutes a day, you’re not just building their vocabulary. You’re building connection, confidence, and the emotional security that helps them thrive.And perhaps most importantly, you’ll gain reassurance: if your child isn’t yet talking as much as you expect, the play they’re doing now is laying all the groundwork they need for future communication.Because every giggle, every game of peekaboo, and every block tower isn’t “just play”—it’s your child’s brain and language growing in action.Send us a textIf you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.Support the showIf this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review! I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.Facebook and Instagram @[email protected] and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!
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About Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas

Kia ora, Hello! I’m Ruth Vercoe, a teacher-turned-mum, here on a mission to demystify Child’s Play through understanding play schemas.If you’ve ever found yourself asking, 'Why is my child doing that?'—whether it’s throwing their soft toys, hiding stones around the house, or lining up their crayons —then you’re in the right place, and certainly not alone.Here, we’ll explore the magic of play through the lens of play schemas—those hidden repeated patterns in your child’s behaviour that hold the key to unlocking more meaningful play and connection.Join me each week as we dive into playful insights that will help you bring more joy, connection and understanding into your parenting journey. Get in contact atEmail [email protected] and Instagram @Play_Schemas
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