Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• #1198- The 'Worst Mother' Who Got It Right

  When Lenore Skenazy let her nine-year-old ride the subway alone, she was dubbed "the worst mother in the world." In this preview of Saturday's interview, discover why preparation beats protection and how trusting kids with real responsibility helps them become capable adults. Plus, learn why the illusion of control might be holding our children back. Quote of the Episode: "If you want responsible kids, you have to give them responsibility"—Alfie Kohn Key Insights: Preparation matters more than protection. Trust builds capability and confidence. Control is ultimately an illusion. Mistakes are learning opportunities. Clear boundaries enable independence. Practice builds competence. Real-world experience teaches responsibility. Consequences should lead to learning, not restriction. Resources Mentioned: Let Grow movement Lenore Skenazy's work Jonathan Haidt's research Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Prepare Rather than Prevent Practice skills before independence Provide necessary tools and information Create clear safety guidelines Build Trust Gradually Start with small responsibilities Allow learning from mistakes Maintain open communication Focus on Growth Use setbacks as teaching moments Celebrate increased independence Balance freedom with preparation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1197 - When Your Child Has No School Friends

  When your child says they hate school and have no friends, what really works? Discover why building friendships takes 200 hours of intentional time, and learn practical strategies from hosting craft days to finding 'third spaces'. Plus, understand the two key relationships that create true school belonging and why sometimes the best friendships might not be with peers at all. Quote of the Episode: "Friends don't usually land in our lap—they require intention and time." Key Insights: Close friendships require 200+ hours of intentional time School belonging needs two key relationships Third spaces beyond home and school are crucial Adult friendships can be valuable for children Structured activities help build new friendships Medical and psychological checks may be needed School relationships often need parental facilitation Quality family time remains foundational Resources Mentioned: Jeffrey Hall's friendship research from the University of Kansas School belonging research Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Facilitate Intentional Friend Time Organise structured activities Create regular playdates Use third spaces effectively Work with Schools Identify potential friend matches Build teacher relationships Focus on school belonging Consider Broader Solutions Explore adult mentoring Check medical factors Strengthen family connections See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1196 - Hack Your Child's Brain Chemistry (The Good Way!)

  What if you could tap into your child's natural brain chemistry to boost motivation and reduce stress? Discover the "Happiness Quartet"—four key neurochemicals that can transform behaviour, learning, and family life. From barefoot walks on grass to risky play, learn practical ways to naturally boost these powerful brain chemicals for happier, more motivated kids. Quote of the Episode: "Break big, difficult tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps - each step triggers a dopamine hit, which fuels motivation and sense of accomplishment." Key Insights: Dopamine works as an anticipation engine Serotonin acts as a natural stress reducer Endorphins serve as natural painkillers Oxytocin builds trust and connection Nature exposure boosts multiple positive chemicals Physical activity enhances brain chemistry Social connections trigger beneficial hormones Breaking down tasks increases motivation Resources Mentioned: Neuroscience research on motivation Serotonin and nature studies Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: The Dopamine Boost Break tasks into smaller steps Celebrate progress Create anticipation The Serotonin Solution Get outside in nature Try barefoot grounding Practice deep breathing The Endorphin Lift Encourage physical activity Make time for laughter Allow calculated risks The Oxytocin Connection Prioritise family meals Share physical affection Create trust-building moments See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1195 - Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About ASD, ADHD and Executive Function With Andrew Guastella

  Parenting a neurodivergent child comes with unique challenges, especially when executive function skills—like planning, organisation, and impulse control—are difficult for them. In this episode, Professor Adam Guastella, a leading expert at the University of Sydney, provides expert insights on how parents can advocate for their children in the education system, the latest neuroscience research, the role of executive function in development, and how to provide supportive environments that foster growth and confidence in children. Tune in for practical advice, strategies for success, and a refreshing sense of hope for families facing these challenges. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“It's not a battle of will, it's a battle of systems.” – Professor Adam Guastella KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Autism is not about intelligence; it's about different ways of thinking and interacting with the world. What is executive function, and why does it matter? The connection between ADHD, autism, and executive function challenges. A strength-based approach helps kids feel empowered rather than ashamed of their challenges. How parents can advocate for their child at school—even without a diagnosis. The importance of structure, and practical strategies and accommodations for helping kids succeed and thrive. New research on the cerebellum and its role in neurodevelopment. RESOURCES MENTIONED: University of Sydney—Professor Adam Guastella’s research Happy Families Various professionals, such as paediatricians, psychologists, and speech therapists, who can provide advocacy and support. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Build a support team of medical and educational professionals. Stay persistent in seeking the right resources, even if it’s challenging. Highlight your child’s strengths and provide structured support. Educate yourself on neurodevelopmental conditions and executive function. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1194 - Maths Anxiety, Camp Bullies, and the Power of Connection

  When your Year 12 child can't do maths or your teen rings crying from camp after being bullied, your instinct is to fix everything. But research shows that simply being heard is often more powerful than any solution. This episode reveals how validation, not problem-solving, helps children develop resilience in challenging situations. Learn the simple two-minute technique that transformed a tearful camp crisis and discover why becoming a "people builder" creates confidence in our children that lasts far beyond any temporary fix. Quote of the Episode: "You don't have to solve; you just have to support. And when the kids can feel it and then you give them an opportunity to find a way forward, they will find it. The answers are deep inside themselves." Key Points: Children need validation and understanding before they can move forward from emotional distress Being a "people builder" creates confidence and resilience in children Emotion coaching involves recognizing feelings, naming them, and allowing them to be expressed Support without immediately trying to solve problems helps children develop self-regulation Hearing supportive voices can be enough to help children find their own solutions With consistent emotional coaching, children develop faster regulation responses Finding the right supportive environments (like tutoring) can transform a child's confidence Children often have the answers within themselves when given space to find them Overcoming challenges builds resilience and confidence Small interactions with supportive people can have profound effects on children's wellbeing Resources Mentioned: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman [affiliate link] Edgar Guest's poem "A Builder or a Wrecker" Emotion coaching methodology Action Steps for Parents: Practice emotion coaching by naming your child's feelings when they're upset Allow emotions to "breathe" before trying to find solutions Ask open questions like "What do you think would be best?" after validating feelings Look for "people builders" in your child's life (teachers, tutors, friends) Consciously choose to be a "builder" rather than a "wrecker" in your interactions When your child calls in distress, focus first on connection before correction Give children space to find their own solutions after feeling supported Recognise that overcoming challenges builds resilience, even when painful at the time See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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