I Suck At Jiu Jitsu Show

I ranked 28 different guards in Jiu-Jitsu from F Tier to SS Tier based on real effectiveness at the highest levels of grappling.
Which guards are actually worth learning… and which ones are a complete waste of time?
In this video I break down the best guards in Jiu Jitsu, the most overrated guards, and the positions that still dominate modern gi and no-gi competition.
⚠️ Some of these rankings may make you mad.
Jiu-Jitsu for Imbeciles, feat. Rob Biernacki(FREE): https://www.bjjmentalmodels.com/isuck
sportshygiene.com Promo Code “ISUCK”
Datsusara 10% OFF with Promo Code “ISUCK”: https://www.dsgear.com/ 
The Competitor’s Journey: https://www.simplifyingjiujitsu.com/comp
0:00 Intro
0:16 I Ranked Every Guard in Jiu-Jitsu
3:32 Criteria for the Tier List
9:21 Quarter Guard
12:17 Donkey Guard / Reverse Closed Guard
17:04 X Guard
20:06 Lockdown
22:55 Knee Shield
23:54 Coyote Guard
25:50 Deep Half Guard
28:04 K Guard
29:31 Single Leg X Guard (SLX)
33:03 Seated Guard (Sit-Up / Koala Guard)
34:12 Reverse De La Riva (RDLR)
35:35 De La Riva (DLR)
37:32 Spider Guard
39:38 Collar Sleeve Guard
41:16 Lapel Guards (Overview)
41:40 Shallow Lapel Guards (early lapel / lapel lasso / lapel spider)
43:53 Deep Lapel Guards (worm / squid / etc.)
47:27 Hybrid Lapel Guards (lapel added to no-gi guards)
50:24 Open Guard (Disconnected)
51:25 50/50 Guard
53:45 Rubber Guard
55:22 Williams Guard
56:52 Shin-on-Shin
57:28 Inverted Guard
59:23 Smashed Half Guard
1:01:15 Turtle Guard
1:02:49 Lasso Guard
1:03:33 Butterfly Guard
1:05:05 Octopus Guard
1:08:48 Closed Guard
1:11:34 Final Tier List Recap (bottom to top)
1:16:19 SS Tier Reveal + Wrap Up

I brought a mic to open mat at ISAJJx (The I Suck at Jiu Jitsu Show Experience) and asked one simple question:“What’s your hottest jiu-jitsu take?”That’s it. That was the mistake.What started as a chill open mat at Headnod HQ turned into a full-blown mat-side debate about everything we pretend not to care about in jiu-jitsu… but absolutely care about. From disgusting mouthpiece etiquette to gym owner capitalism, from guard pullers to hoverers, from “flow rolling” lies to the eternal BJJ vs AJJ identity crisis, nothing was safe.We’ve got black belts calling people out, gym owners confessing what actually annoys them, competitors admitting the stress nobody talks about, and at least one take that was so hot it didn’t survive the edit.This episode is raw, live, and exactly what jiu-jitsu sounds like when you stop pretending it’s polite.If you train, you’ll recognize every personality in this video.If you don’t train, you’ll question why we do this to ourselves.Welcome to open mat with a microphone.Subscribe for more jiu-jitsu culture, comedy, and the stuff people only say when the round timer’s off.Jiu-Jitsu for Imbeciles, feat. Rob Biernacki(FREE): https://www.bjjmentalmodels.com/isucksportshygiene.com Promo Code “ISUCK”Datsusara 10% OFF with Promo Code “ISUCK”: https://www.dsgear.com/ The Competitor’s Journey: https://www.simplifyingjiujitsu.com/comp

You’re training a lot. You know the names of the positions. You’ve watched the instructionals. You’ve saved the Instagram clips.
And somehow… you still feel like you kind of suck at everything.
That usually doesn’t mean you’re bad at jiu-jitsu. It means you’re training randomly.
In this episode of The I Suck at Jiu-Jitsu Show, I’m joined by Bryce and Bryan Allen (the Allen Bros), and we break down how to stop guessing what to work on and start training with a real focus—even if you don’t control what your gym is teaching that week.
We talk about how to choose the right thing to train when there are a million options online, how to let your rounds organically reveal what actually needs work. 
We dig into why “did I win?” is a terrible metric for improvement, and how to build real self-coaching skills so you keep getting better no matter where you train.
If you’ve ever thought, “I’ve learned everything… but I’m not good at anything,” this episode will help you fix that.
Stop wasting rounds. Train what actually matters.
I Suck at Jiu Jitsu Experience:  https://kick.site/rxi0b3vo ($100 OFF with Promo Code "Fuji Expo")
Jiu-Jitsu for Imbeciles, feat. Rob Biernacki(FREE): https://www.bjjmentalmodels.com/isuck
sportshygiene.com Promo Code “ISUCK”
Datsusara 10% OFF with Promo Code “ISUCK”: https://www.dsgear.com/ 
The Competitor’s Journey: https://www.simplifyingjiujitsu.com/comp

SHOCK WARNING - There are stories describing injuries and other content some listeners may find disturbing. Don't be fainting while driving and then blaming the I Suck at Jiu Jitsu Show. You've been warned. The episode is actually really good though. Coming back from injury isn’t just physical... it’s ego, identity, and expectations colliding at once. In this episode, we talk about what it actually takes to return the right way… and why most people sabotage themselves before they ever step back on the mats.Featuring Kyle Watson, Andy Sabens, and a special guest, this conversation drifts into crazy arrests, training as you age, competition(or lack their of), and some stories that you won't believe — but everything somehow comes back to leadership, pressure, and staying composed when things get unpredictable.Because the truth is: people don’t listen to 2-hour podcasts just to “solve a problem.” They listen to be entertained. If we can make it interesting, we can help you suck less. Suck at Jiu Jitsu Experience: https://kick.site/rxi0b3vo ($100 OFF with Promo Code "Fuji Expo")Jiu-Jitsu for Imbeciles, feat. Rob Biernacki(FREE): https://www.bjjmentalmodels.com/isucksportshygiene.com Promo Code “ISUCK”Datsusara 10% OFF with Promo Code “ISUCK”: https://www.dsgear.com/ The Competitor’s Journey: https://www.simplifyingjiujitsu.com/comp

A Few weeks ago at the Fuji Expo in KC, I (@thejoshmckinney) grabbed a mic at the end of a long tournament day and did what every exhausted coach should do: talk trash, tell stories, and give hot takes while the adrenaline wears off.

You’ll hear from the Arias Bros (including a wild match story that ends in a heel hook attempt in the gi), plus more coaches breaking down what they saw on the mats, what tournaments get right/wrong, and the weird culture stuff we all pretend isn’t real (handshake etiquette, rulesets, coaching “disappointment,” and more).

Thanks to all the coaches who jumped on the mic to chat.

If you’ve ever coached all day, competed and got banged up, or just love the post-tournament parking-lot vibes—this one’s for you.

 Suck at Jiu Jitsu Experience:  https://kick.site/rxi0b3vo ($100 OFF with Promo Code "Fuji Expo")

Jiu-Jitsu for Imbeciles, feat. Rob Biernacki(FREE): https://www.bjjmentalmodels.com/isuck

sportshygiene.com Promo Code “ISUCK”

Datsusara 10% OFF with Promo Code “ISUCK”: https://www.dsgear.com/ 

The Competitor’s Journey: https://www.simplifyingjiujitsu.com/comp

00:00 – Live at the Fuji BJJ Expo
01:30 – Aras Bros interview & wild black belt match story
04:20 – Coaching all day, winning & losing at tournaments
06:00 – Fuji Expo thoughts & Midwest Jiu-Jitsu
08:00 – ISAJJ Show Experience & camp announcement
10:40 – Jiu-Jitsu injury insurance explained
17:45 – Tournament risk, injuries & gym owner responsibility
20:00 – Hot takes, sponsors & mat hygiene talk
23:30 – Coaching mindset, injuries & training updates
27:00 – Gi vs No-Gi & tournament formats
33:30 – Favorite matches & coaching disappointments
41:00 – Post-match etiquette & jiu-jitsu traditions
45:20 – Masters vs adult divisions & rulesets
50:00 – Spicy hot takes & culture commentary
57:45 – Final thoughts & wrap-up