Ep 29: When Your Child Hates Healthy Food: What My Son's Food Struggles Taught Me About Letting Go
Show Notes
Are mealtimes with your kids turning into a battlefield? Does your child refuse vegetables, reject healthy food, and only eat the same meals on repeat? You're not alone, and I've been exactly where you are.
In this episode, I'm sharing my personal 19-year journey raising a selective eater.... a child that has refused to eat vegetables for nearly two decades!
I'll walk you through how my years of coaching emotional eaters shaped my parenting approach, why I chose to let go of food battles at dinnertime, and the surprising transformation that happened when my son turned 19. This isn't about judgment or perfect parenting, it's about finding peace at the family dinner table while still ensuring your child gets proper nutrition.
If you're struggling with a fussy eater, picky eating habits, or constant mealtime stress, this episode will give you a fresh perspective and hope that things can change.
What You'll Learn
How childhood food battles create lifelong emotional eating patterns – I share what my adult weight loss clients tell me about their childhood experiences with food and how it shaped their relationship with eating decades later
Why forcing kids to eat healthy food can backfire – Learn why making children finish their plates or eat foods they hate can lead to negative associations with food that last into adulthood
My simple nutrition strategy for selective eaters – How I focused on protein and healthy fats while letting go of the "five vegetables a day" pressure, and why this approach reduced stress for our entire family
How to avoid power struggles at dinnertime – Practical ways to work with what your child will eat instead of creating nightly battles that everyone dreads
The surprising truth about picky eaters growing up – What happened when my son reached his late teens and suddenly became interested in nutrition, body composition, and eating a wider variety of foods - all on his own
How to support your child's nutrition without damaging your relationship – Why sometimes being patient and letting go is more important than being "right" about healthy eating
The connection between parenting and weight loss coaching – How listening to my clients' childhood food stories completely transformed how I approached feeding my own children
Key Moments
What My Clients Taught Me About Childhood Food Battles Over the years, I've heard countless stories from emotional eaters about how forced eating, strict meal rules, and dinner time battles created lasting negative relationships with food. Many blame their mothers for counting calories, watching what they ate, or forcing them to finish their plates even when they weren't hungry.
My Son's Food Journey Begins From the moment my firstborn started solids, I was the enthusiastic new mum making homemade vegetable purées and fruit purées, determined to do everything right. But I had a problem—my baby wasn't keen on food. The day he learned to push away vegetables was the day he refused them completely, and that pattern continued for years.
The Confronting Reality for a Nutritionist Here I was, studying nutrition and passionate about healthy eating, with a child who had an incredibly limited palate. He wouldn't eat casseroles, mixed foods, or vegetables. He was thin and energetic, and all I wanted was for him to eat.
My Approach: Protein First, Let Go of Everything Else I had to step back from everything I'd learned and focus on one simple goal—making sure my son got protein at every meal and some healthy fats to keep him satisfied. For vegetables, he would only eat raw capsicum, and I decided that was enough. I wasn't going to make every dinner a battleground.
The Terrible Lunchbox When my son started school, his lunchbox was filled with carbs because there was no protein he would eat cold. I used to fear that Campbell Live would come to his school analyzing lunchboxes and my son would announce, "My mum's a nutritionist!" I compensated by ensuring he had protein at breakfast with eggs or a protein smoothie, and again after school.
The Same Four Meals on Repeat For years, my son ate the same rotation: simple steak cut into bits with capsicum and rice or potato, chopped sausage, or beef. That was it. Sometimes I made separate dinners for him, but often I'd just cook extra of what worked. I didn't want mealtime to ruin our family harmony.
The Magical Transformation at Age 19 Something incredible happened in the last year. My son, now 19, suddenly became interested in body composition and fitness. He started asking me questions about nutrition, protein timing, and meal balance. He began eating fruit—kiwi fruit and grapes! He's experimenting with food and making conscious choices about nutrition before and after exercise. And none of this came from me pushing him. It all came from him.
What This Taught Me About Parenting and Nutrition I learned that we're not always the experts, even in our areas of professional knowledge. I had to step back, remember the stories of my clients who developed emotional eating issues from childhood food battles, and trust that my son would find his own way. It taught me to be non-judgmental about what other parents are doing because I know we're all trying our best.
Some People Are Just Different When it comes to food, some children are incredibly selective. It doesn't mean they're wrong, they're just different. My job as a parent was to support my son in a way that fit what he needed, not create constant fights over food.
Conclusion
If you're struggling with a child who refuses healthy food, rejects vegetables, or turns every meal into a power struggle, I want you to know that you're not alone. I've been there as both a mum and a nutrition professional, and I understand how frustrating and concerning it can be.
My 19-year journey with my selective eater taught me that sometimes letting go is more powerful than holding on. By focusing on the basics - ensuring my son got adequate protein and healthy fats - and releasing my attachment to the "perfect" balanced plate, I avoided creating the kind of food battles that my adult clients tell me damaged their relationship with eating.
The most surprising lesson? Patience and acceptance can lead to outcomes you never imagined. My son's recent transformation into someone who asks nutrition questions and willingly eats fruit proves that children can develop healthy relationships with food when they're not forced or pressured.
Remember, you know your child best. There are many ways to navigate picky eating and childhood nutrition challenges. If today's episode resonated with you, if you have questions, or if you'd like to share your own experiences with feeding fussy eaters, please reach out. I'd love to hear from you and support you on this journey.
Ready for support on your own weight loss journey?
Check the links below to my socials and grab my free five-day low-carb meal plan with five delicious dinner recipes. You'll also find information about my four-week Foundations of Fat Loss program, designed specifically for the fat-burning needs of women over 35.
New Zealand