The Jefferson Fisher Podcast

Defensiveness can shut down a conversation before you ever get close to resolving anything. But sometimes it’s not just what you’re saying—it’s how you’re approaching the conversation. In this episode, I’m giving you three simple ways to lower someone’s defenses without avoiding the hard conversation. We’ll talk about why words like “always” and “never” immediately put people on guard, how to use “when you, I feel” instead, why finding something you can agree on changes the tone, and how turning commands into “we” questions can keep you on the same team.

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Order my book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today.

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What if being more direct actually made people trust you more? My friend Ben Bruno has spent years training some of the most recognizable people in the world, and one of the things I appreciate most about him is that you always know where he stands. In this episode, we talk about how to give an honest opinion without being a jerk, why people respect you more when you stop telling them what you think they want to hear, and how to adjust the way you communicate depending on who’s in front of you.

Get Ben Bruno's STRENGTH app here: https://benbruno.com/

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Thank you to our sponsors:

David. Subscribe and save 10% on every order’ at https://davidprotein.com/jefferson

Our Place. Visit https://fromourplace.com/JEFFERSON and use code JEFFERSON for 10% off sitewide.

Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 20% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out.

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Order my book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!

Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.

Join My School of Communication

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Some conversations test your patience. Others test your character. In this call-in episode, I answer your questions about staying calm when emotions run high, setting boundaries with the people you love, handling conflict with confidence, and responding without losing yourself. We talk about how to handle a spouse who won't stop talking, how to tell your friends you hate texting and want them to call you instead, what to do when a parent refuses to use your chosen name, how to navigate political disagreements with family, and whether it's wrong to expect financial help from a wealthy sibling.

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.
https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/newsletter

Thank you to our sponsors:

Pendulum: Go to https://pendulumlife.com/jefferson and use code JEFFERSON for up to 20% off your first order.

Gusto: Go to https://gusto.com/jefferson and use code JEFFERSON to get three months free when you run your first payroll.

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Order my new book, The Next Conversation, today!
https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/book

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!
https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/topic

**Chapters:**

0:00 How to Handle a Spouse Who Talks Too Much

6:40 How to Tell Friends You Hate Texting

12:15 When Your Parent Refuses to Use Your Name

21:13 Navigating Political Disagreements With Family

28:45 Expecting Financial Help From a Wealthy Sibling
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If you've ever wondered how a family goes from talking every week to not talking at all, this conversation is for you. Matthias Barker and I unpack why estrangement rarely happens because of one big moment—it usually comes after years of small moments that were never addressed. We talk about what parents often miss, what adult children wish their parents understood, and why the fastest way to push someone further away is to defend your intentions instead of trying to understand their experience.

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Thank you to our sponsors:

LMNT. Head to https://drinkLMNT.com/jefferson to try risk free.

ZocDoc. https://zocdoc.com/jefferson to find and instantly book a doctor you love today.

Square. Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/JEFFERSON

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Order my book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!

Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.

Join My School of Communication

Watch my podcast on YouTube

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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you say when you start to cry in an argument? Absolutely nothing. In this episode, I break down exactly what to do when your emotions run high and the tears start falling during a tense conversation. We talk about why you should never apologize for crying, how to label your tears so you can keep the conversation moving, and why crying is just your body releasing tension. I also cover what to do when someone else starts crying in front of you—and why handing them a tissue or asking if they need a break is actually the worst thing you can do.

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Thank you to our sponsors:

Cozy Earth: Go to ⁠https://cozyearth.com/Jefferson⁠ and use code JEFFERSON for up to 20% off.

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Order my new book, The Next Conversation, today!
https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/book

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!
https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/topic

Join my School of Communication.
https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher
Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson?lang=en
Follow me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/
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