Stronger Bolder Wiser

Lift heavy or lose the fight against aging is the default advice for midlife women, and it leaves too many of them injured or on the sidelines. There is another way to build muscle, and it takes 20 minutes and light dumbbells.

In this episode I sit down with Ashley Selman, a strength coach of more than 30 years and the founder of Seli Strength, to talk about blood flow restriction training. Ashley explains why heavy lifting gets harder as our estrogen declines, and how light weights with BFR bands build muscle in 15 to 20 minutes. We cover the results of her six month study with midlife women, and exactly what week one looks like if you have not been in a gym for years.

Key Takeaways
-Professional cuffs are an investment at around 500 dollars, though they come with a 30 day money back guarantee. Wrapping straps or belts around your limbs is not the same thing and is not safe.
- A 2025 meta-analysis of adults over 50 found BFR matched heavy lifting for bone mineral density. Adding gentle impact work builds the bone architecture that density alone does not cover.
-You do not need to understand the science to do this. You need to learn what your burn feels like and what band pressure gets you there.
- Consistency beats intensity. The women in the study trained two more days a week than before, simply because the workouts were short and did not leave them in pain.

Timestamps
Why Lift Heavy Advice Fails Midlife Women (00:00)
What Is BFR Training And Is It Safe (06:30)
How Light Weights Hit Type 2 Fibres (11:57)
Fast Results And Why BFR Is Not Mainstream (15:17)
What A Full BFR Week Looks Like (23:06)
4.5 Inches Off Her Waist In 6 Months (33:07)
Bone Density Results And Your First Week (37:36)
How To Mix BFR With Heavy Lifting (46:23)
Band Cost And The 30 Day Guarantee (50:06)
Free Workout Plan And Why 6 Minutes Works (55:05)
Join Thrive after 40, starting 9th November. Learn the protein and nutrition requirements your body needs in perimenopause and post menopause, and how to build a plate that keeps you full for hours.Grab your place → https://bit.ly/4hxbWHA
Ashley Selman, known to her clients as Coach Seli, has spent more than 30 years as a strength coach, working with elite athletes, university programs at Stanford and Oregon, and women in midlife who want to stay strong for life. She is the founder of Evolution Trainers in Mountain View, California, voted the number one health club in Silicon Valley, and holds a master’s degree in sport psychology. After chronic pain and a hip replacement ended her own heavy lifting, she found blood flow restriction training and built Seli Strength, a virtual BFR program for women in midlife. Around 500 women have now been through her program, and her six month study showed gains in strength and muscle, better heart health and a significant drop in pain.
Website: https://www.selistrength.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/selistrength

-Seli Strength, her virtual BFR program, free for the first 30 days with the bands and 99 dollars a month after that: https://www.selistrength.com
-Free four page workout plan for women over 45, on the Seli Strength website: https://www.selistrength.com-BFR bands from B Strong and B3 Sciences, available through Ashley with a listener discount code: https://b3sciences.com/mvp/
-Evolution Trainers, her gym in Mountain View, California: https://www.evolutiontrainers.com
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If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you haven’t already, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and leave a review to help more women find this community.

Taking 30 days off alcohol in midlife rarely feels the way social media promises. Boredom, flatness and broken sleep often come first, and none of it means you're doing it wrong.In this video I share the five most unexpected things women discover in their first 30 days without wine, from the 5 to 7pm boredom to the friend who suddenly goes quiet. I explain why your brain can feel flat once alcohol stops lighting up your dopamine reward centre, and why sedation is not the same as restorative sleep. Most importantly, I explain why all of it settles.Key Topics Covered- Why boredom hits hardest between 5 and 7pm when you stop drinking, and why taking alcohol out means adding something in, like an evening walk, a class or a hobby.- Feeling flat after quitting alcohol: how years of drinking dysregulate your dopamine receptors, and why it evens out with time.- What to do when friends get weird about you not drinking, and why talking to your closest friends first helps.- Why sleep without alcohol can get worse before it gets better, and how to ride the emotional rollercoaster of the early weeks.Timestamps What Happens When You Stop Drinking For 30 Days (00:00) Thing 1: Boredom Between 5 And 7pm (00:40) Thing 2: Feeling Flat After You Stop Drinking (02:01) Thing 3: When Friends Get Weird About You Not Drinking (02:44) Thing 4: Why Sleep Gets Worse Before It Gets Better (03:37) Thing 5: Feeling Emotional Over Nothing (04:40) Free Support To Change Your Drinking (05:20)Also Watch My Previous Episodes:- Seven Signs You Are a Grey Area Drinker- Six Reasons Successful Women Are Quietly Quitting Alcohol- Three Reasons Women Cannot Metabolise Alcohol as Effectively as Men***Struggling to know what to do when stress, boredom or big emotions hit?Download my free guide "100 Things to Do Instead of Drinking", a toolkit for sitting with those feelings instead of reaching for a glass of wine.Get your free guide → https://bit.ly/4qOiGUw***Sarah Rusbatch is an accredited Health and Wellbeing Coach and one of Australia's leading experts on grey area drinking. Her podcast, Stronger, Bolder, Wiser, is the go-to space for women who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, navigating life alcohol-free, or simply curious about what life could look like on the other side of the bottle.
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you haven't already, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and leave a review to help more women find this community.Find out more about my other programs here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/If you want to join a space where women feel safe to be seen, ask the questions they don't always say out loud and connect with others going through the same, join my free Facebook group, Women's Wellbeing Collective here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/342319476897067And if changing your relationship with alcohol is something you want to explore further, you can find my book Beyond Booze on Audible, Spotify, Kindle and Amazon. Click the link here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/beyond-booze

Nobody walks into a marriage planning to leave it, yet so many midlife women are quietly asking whether to stay or go. Your body often knows the answer first.

In this episode I sit down with Betsy Pake, certified master coach and founder of The Navigate Method, to unpack the question so many midlife women are asking: should I stay or should I go? We talk about why women are choosing peace over partnership, the purgatory of indecision, and how an unhappy marriage so often sits underneath a woman's drinking. Betsy shares her Mirror, Mend or Move method and how to tell a hard season from a marriage that is not coming back. This conversation won't tell you whether to stay or leave, but it will give you the clarity to decide for yourself.

Key Takeaways
-If he only wants to work on the marriage once you are ready to leave, look at why. It is often because he doesn't want his own life to change, not because of your unhappiness.
-Find a witness. Saying out loud how bad things really helps you see what is real when your brain has been minimizing it for years.
-Surrender sounds like "I don't know what I'm going to do, but it's not this." From there, ask what would need to change for you to feel whole again.
-The women who rebuild best after divorce own it: this isn't what I wanted, but it's what I have, and it's the best thing for me.

Timestamps
Why Women Initiate Most Divorces After 55 (00:00)
The Purgatory Of Indecision In Your Marriage (03:49)
Doing It All And Still Not Feeling Seen (06:25)
Is Your Marriage The Reason You Drink? (10:07)
How Women Shrink To Save A Marriage (13:04)
He's A Good Man, So Why Am I Unhappy? (25:23)
How To Know If Your Marriage Is Over (27:10)
Can A Roommate Marriage Be Saved? (29:50)
Your Body Knows Before Your Brain Does (32:15)
Breaking Free From Good Wife Shame (38:08)
Mirror, Mend Or Move: The 3 Door Method (43:25)
Should I Leave? You Already Know The Answer (49:51)
Can You Trust Divorce Decisions In Perimenopause? (53:53)
What Life After Midlife Divorce Really Looks Like (01:00:10)
Numbing Marriage Unhappiness With Alcohol (01:03:34)
Find Betsy Pake And The Art Of Living Big (01:07:49)

5 Foods to Swap
The five foods stealing your energy and adding visceral fat in midlife, plus what to eat instead. Five simple swaps, big difference in how you feel.Get your free guide → ⁠https://programs.sarahrusbatch.com/free-guide-5-food⁠

Prefer Instagram? DM me the word FOODS and I'll send it straight to you.👉 ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sarahrusbatch/

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Betsy Pake is a certified master coach, speaker, and founder of The Navigate Method, a coaching program that helps women chart a new path in, or out of, their marriage. Drawing on her own experience of leaving a marriage and rebuilding her life, she helps women heal old patterns, calm their nervous systems, and trust their own decisions. She is trauma informed, trained in NLP, and hosts The Art of Living Big podcast. 

Website: https://betsypake.com
Instagram: @betsypake
The Art of Living Big podcast https://betsypake.com/art-living-big/

The Navigate Method, her 10-week program with curriculum, nervous system tools, community coaching and one-on-one support https://betsypake.com/navigate/

Program details and ways to work with Betsy at https://betsypake.com 

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Find out more about my other programs here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/

If you want to join a space where women feel safe to be seen, ask the questions they don’t always say out loud and connect with others going through the same, join my free Facebook group, Women’s Wellbeing Collective here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/342319476897067

Struggling to know what to do when stress, boredom or big emotions hit?

Download my free guide "100 Things to Do Instead of Drinking", a toolkit for sitting with those feelings instead of reaching for a glass of wine.

Get your free guide → https://bit.ly/4qOiGUw

The women quitting alcohol are not at rock bottom and they do not call themselves alcoholics. They are running businesses and raising teenagers, and they have simply reached the point where drinking no longer works for them.

In this episode I share the six reasons successful women are quietly quitting alcohol, and what they get back when they do. I explain the tipping point most of us reach in midlife, the research on sleep, cortisol and next day anxiety, and what our drinking quietly models to our daughters. I also talk about the hours we reclaim and the cognitive edge that shows up once alcohol is out of the equation.

Key Takeaways
-Alcohol cuts sleep quality by up to 40 percent, even on one or two drinks. 
-Hangover anxiety is real, caused by a cortisol spike once the alcohol wears off. 
-Mothers drinking more than 14 units a week raise their daughters' risk of alcohol use disorder. 
-Women who quit alcohol in midlife report clearer skin, sharper focus and their evenings back. 

Timestamps:
Why Successful Women Are Quitting Alcohol (00:00)
The Drinking Tipping Point In Midlife (00:58)
Why Alcohol Stops Working After 40 (02:12)
Reason One: Alcohol And Sleep Quality (02:58)
How Alcohol Destroys REM Sleep (03:43)
Reason Two: Hangover Anxiety And Cortisol (05:05)
Reason Three: Skin, Collagen And Glow (05:45)
Reason Four: What Your Daughters Learn (06:20)
Reason Five: Reclaiming Your Evenings (07:12)
Reason Six: Focus, Clarity And Confidence (07:56)

Also Watch My Previous Episodes:
- Seven Signs You Are a Grey Area Drinker:
https://youtu.be/Q7i68xjrKVo

- Three Reasons Women Cannot Metabolize Alcohol as Effectively as Men:
https://youtu.be/6JuvFGhth7U

***
Sarah Rusbatch is an accredited Health and Wellbeing Coach and one of Australia’s leading experts on grey area drinking. Her podcast, Stronger, Bolder, Wiser, is the go-to space for women who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, navigating life alcohol-free, or simply curious about what life could look like on the other side of the bottle.

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you haven’t already, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and leave a review to help more women find this community.

***
Find out more about my other programs here:
https://sarahrusbatch.com/
If you want to join a space where women feel safe to be seen, ask the questions they don’t always say out loud and connect with others going through the same, join my free Facebook group, Women’s Wellbeing Collective here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/342319476897067

And if changing your relationship with alcohol is something you want to explore further, you can find my book Beyond Booze on Audible, Spotify, Kindle and Amazon. Click the link here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/beyond-booze

Struggling to know what to do when stress, boredom or big emotions hit?

Download my free guide "100 Things to Do Instead of Drinking", a toolkit for sitting with those feelings instead of reaching for a glass of wine.
Get your free guide → https://bit.ly/4qOiGUw

Perimenopause is not a medical condition and you are not broken. Dr Lara Briden explains what is really happening to your hormones after 40, and why alcohol makes all of it harder.

In this episode I sit down with Dr Lara Briden, naturopathic doctor and author of Period Repair Manual, Hormone Repair Manual and Metabolism Repair for Women. Lara reframes perimenopause as a second puberty and pushes back on the fear-based messaging filling our feeds. We cover alcohol as the bigger hidden hormone disruptor, the iron deficiency being mislabelled as brain fog, what the pill really does to a teenage cycle, and why insulin resistance locks women out of their own energy stores. This is the kind of knowledge that lets you walk into your doctor's office and advocate for yourself.

Key Topics Covered
- Why periods go chaotic after 40, and what ovulation winding down really looks like.
- Perimenopause as second puberty, not a medical condition, with many symptoms temporary.
- The iron deficiency hiding behind brain fog, and why heavy bleeding needs full iron studies.
- Alcohol as the bigger hormone disruptor, raising estrogen and steepening the drops.
- What the pill does to a teenage cycle, and the twelve years it takes to mature ovulation.
- Hormonal IUDs and heavy periods, the real wins, the androgen side effects, and keeping your uterus.
- The rethink around endometriosis, and why experts want to stop cutting young women open.

Timestamps
Dr Lara Briden On Chaotic Perimenopause Periods (00:00)
Second Puberty, Low Iron And Brain Fog (04:37)
Estrogen Swings, Alcohol And Fear Marketing (12:00)
What The Pill Does To Teen Cycles (20:32)
Pill Bleeds, Hormonal IUDs And Real Periods (25:29)
Should You Get Endometriosis Surgery? (32:25)
PCOS Should Be Renamed PMOS (38:45)
How To Treat High Androgens Naturally (44:53)
How Insulin Resistance Starts In Midlife (50:36)
Why Midlife Weight Loss Advice Fails (57:40)
Rapid Fire Hormone Questions Answered (01:01:36)

Dr Lara Briden is a naturopathic doctor with more than 25 years in women's health and the author of Period Repair Manual, Hormone Repair Manual and Metabolism Repair for Women, published in Australia and New Zealand as The Metabolism Reset. A former evolutionary biologist, she now consults from Christchurch, New Zealand, treating women with PCOS, PMS, endometriosis and perimenopause.

Website: https://www.larabriden.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/larabriden/
Podcast: https://www.larabriden.com/podcast/
Resources and references for Lara Briden’s books Hormone Repair Manual, Period Repair Manual, and Metabolism Repair for Women. https://www.larabriden.com/resources/

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Sarah Rusbatch is an accredited Health and Wellbeing Coach and one of Australia’s leading experts on grey area drinking. Her podcast, Stronger, Bolder, Wiser, is the go-to space for women who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, navigating life alcohol-free, or simply curious about what life could look like on the other side of the bottle.

***

Find out more about my other programs here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/
If you want to join a space where women feel safe to be seen, ask the questions they don’t always say out loud and connect with others going through the same, join my free Facebook group, Women’s Wellbeing Collective here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/342319476897067

And if changing your relationship with alcohol is something you want to explore further, you can find my book Beyond Booze on Audible, Spotify, Kindle and Amazon. Click the link here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/beyond-booze