WRESTLING SOUP

AEW’s PAC tribute was sad but humanizing
Young Bucks were fine, just people for once
WWE didn’t move Worlds Collide, fans called it evil
Meltzer wanted the show moved, Russo said business
MJF skipped it to protect his heel character
Xavier Woods melting down was the real moment
No autopsy yet, wellness-policy talk is premature
Roman still fighting leukemia, still barely fighting
Alexa Bliss dropped a drunk song with her husband
Layla once caught Kelly Kelly’s pee in her mouth

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Jada Parker dates Jey, tries running over cousins
946 names sound like Cape Cod prep-school kids
Roman hides while his family keeps getting jumped
LA Knight only exists to ask where Roman is
Iyo versus Bird Girl was the night’s best match
Bayley’s fed-up promo finally feels real
Oba calls out a slimmer, faster Bronson Reed
Big Cass still needs Enzo to work
JD forehead jokes are turning into bullying
Bloodline versus 946 story remains completely incoherent

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Mustaine confirms retirement after looking twenty years older
Iron Maiden still packing kids at the shows
AEW merch looks like cheap AI slop
Tony begs to stay relevant after Warner-Paramount merger
WWE Main Event jumps from YouTube to Rumble
Kids-show excuse dies on an 18-plus platform
PWI crowns MJF number one wrestler on Earth
Hangman and Trick sit way too high
Gunther retired legends then vanished again
TKO will squeeze Mexico the second it pays

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Penta opens wanting another clean Roman loss
Mexico City Raw pulled 3.1 million views
Judgment Day eats half the damn show
946 Oakland group name and story still suck
Solo Sikoa gets abducted exactly as expected
Roxanne Perez can no longer call herself Prodigy
LA Knight guarantees he beats Roman next
Javon beats Breakker by DQ, Oba cleans house
Bayley-Lyra match dies with a terrible finish
Lola Vice debut promo was painfully rough
Penta wins the Money in the Bank qualifier

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Netflix scrubs Mexico City “blonde bitch” chants
Censorship now hits harmless camera angles too
TKO sanitizes everything for Saudi money
64-year-old loses $427k to fake Rhea Ripley
Simone Johnson calls sitting in meetings hardest job
Cody Rhodes reduced to vodka commercials
Grande Americano steals hearts in Mexican hospitals
Meltzer says Rock skips Saudi WrestleMania
Crown Jewel still happening in a war zone
Private equity just wants celebrity deathmatch WWE

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