WRESTLING SOUP

Bruce Prichard is apparently on the way out
Triple H was never a creative genius
People are rewriting Randy Savage’s history again
American fans still treat wrestlers like gods
H3H3 cheating drama is everywhere now
Crown Jewel just moved to a different building
Kevin Owens is refusing to go
Stephanie Vaquer is out, possibly pregnant
They’re making talent sign away all liability
It’s not the same as Tribute to the Troops

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Anthony Missionary Thomas was five minutes deep into a passionate Wrestling Soup rant about the psychology of a perfectly executed heel turn, building to what was sure to be an epic crescendo, when Joe Numbas completely derailed the show."Hold on, Missionary," Joe interrupted, sounding genuinely troubled. "I just realized something important."Anthony sighed, adjusting his mic and already bracing for the detour. "What is it, Joe? We're on the air.""If a referee takes a bump in the middle of the woods, and there's no live audience around to see it... does he still stay unconscious for ten minutes?"Anthony paused, the brilliant analytical breakdown he’d prepped completely evaporating from his brain. He rubbed his temples, staring blankly at his recording software. "Joe... yes. Obviously. It's basic wrestling physics. The trees would get a near-fall.""Just checking," Joe replied seamlessly. "Anyway, back to your monologue about rest holds."Anthony just shook his head. Just another episode in the Soup.

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San Diego still treats Roman like a god
Penta is the direction they actually need
Roman told Sami his title means shit
Bron Breakker almost spiked himself again
He needs to stop the high-risk spots
Chelsea looks better next to all the green girls
Bird Girl’s crackhead look is finally working
They have too many Latin women on the roster
Hendry is just bullying JD McDonagh now
Gable, Rey, and Dragon Lee was solid
Roman walked slow while his family got crowbarred
Crown Jewel is still on despite the executions

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Roman’s interviews are making him look worse
Big metric mover
Hulk Hogan is his GOAT, complete with tassels
He won’t do house shows in case he gets hurt
Edge says 2027 is his last year
WWE staff don’t want to go to Saudi
Dave Meltzer thinks it’s not their fight
Max Caster got fired for one rap line
TNA should have checked the lyrics first
Money decides who gets punished and who doesn’t

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Roman still vanishes when his family needs him
Solo’s Matrix shirt is peak 2003 energy
Triple H is eating shit sandwiches again
Crown Jewel is still on despite the missiles
Penta opened Raw, Jevon is in everything
Bron’s spear on Jevon looked decent
Carmelo Hayes is now repping the Bay
Usos vs 962 belonged on the PPV
Refs got character time that will go nowhere
Roxanne still isn’t a believable heel
Chad Gable and Rey Fenix was the best match
Oba is just recycling old Rock promos
Bird Girl and Bayley was dinner theater
Main Event is moving to Rumble now

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