No need for Prince Charming

Two Kids, One Heart Condition, and No Regrets
A brief note: this episode mentions a miscarriage between Kristina's two pregnancies. She shares it with grace and without distress, but we wanted you to know it's there.

 

Kristina spent her 30s doing what she loved — living in different countries, working big marketing jobs, going out, seeing things. Children were always in the plan. A partner never quite materialised. And then her mum — a retired GP who had spent her career delivering babies — started dropping not-so-subtle hints every time she saw her.

By 38, Kristina made the appointment.

What followed was a journey that looked nothing like she imagined, partly because of the pandemic that landed in the middle of it, and partly because of the heart condition she had been managing for years — including an implanted defibrillator — that meant nobody quite knew how her body would handle a pregnancy. The answer, it turned out, was better than out of it.

Kristina conceived on her first IVF transfer at City Fertility, in Melbourne, just as the borders closed. Her whole pregnancy was in lockdown. She worked from home, mostly unseen, growing a baby in an Art Deco apartment in Prahran while the world tried to work out what was happening. Otis arrived via planned caesarean at Epworth in June 2020 — small, at 2.1 kilos, and with talipes (clubfoot) that hadn't been picked up on any scan.

What followed was five months of weekly leg casts, a small operation to release tendons, then months in boots and a bar — a mini snowboard contraption that kept his feet overcorrected while the bones formed. It was hard. He was, as Kristina puts it, a miserable baby. She moved her parents in and went on road trips whenever the lockdowns allowed.

She went back for a second child when Otis was 20 months old. There was a miscarriage between them — the numbers weren't going up, and then suddenly they were, and then there was no heartbeat. She managed it medically and ended up in hospital. It was awful. Then she went back, transferred the next embryo, and got pregnant straight away.

Seven months into that pregnancy, she packed up the apartment, flew to New Zealand with her mum and Otis, and had Ari via planned C-section at Nelson Public Hospital. This time, everything was fine. He slept. She called the midwife crying, convinced something was wrong.

Otis is five. Ari is two and a half. Kristina is about to launch her own fashion brand from Nelson. She rides bikes and scooters to school with her boys every morning. She doesn't regret a single thing.

In this episode:

Growing up the eldest of four — always knowing she wanted to be a mother, even when she was busy living her best life in her 30s

Her mum — a retired GP — planting the seed with increasing persistence, and why she's grateful for it

The heart condition and implanted defibrillator that made her wonder whether her body could handle pregnancy — and why it turned out to be the wrong thing to worry about

Deciding to keep her IUI cycles secret from almost everyone — and why she told everyone when she moved to IVF

IVF at 38-39 at City Fertility: 8 eggs, 4 embryos, pregnant on the first transfer

Getting the positive the day the COVID borders closed — her mum, her Canadian friend, and their bags packed

A COVID pregnancy — working from home, nobody watching the bump grow, quietly grateful for the rest

Otis arriving at 2.1 kilos with undetected talipes — the shock, the five months of weekly casts, the minor surgery, and the boots and bar he wore until he was four

What it was really like — the misery, the pacing, the jiggling, the shushing, and the road trips in between lockdowns

The miscarriage between her two pregnancies — what happened physically, the hospital trip that followed, and how she feels about it now

Going back, transferring the next embryo, and getting pregnant straight away

Moving to New Zealand at 7 months pregnant — what she'd do differently, and what she'd tell anyone considering the same move

Ari's birth at Nelson Public Hospital — perfectly smooth, and a baby who slept so well she thought something was wrong

Finding six solo mums in Nelson and building a community in a small town

Leaving the corporate world, turning down a dream Auckland job, and launching her own fashion brand

What surprised her most about doing this twice — and which stage she didn't expect to be the hardest

Key Takeaways

A pre-existing health condition doesn't mean solo motherhood isn't possible — it means you need the right team, honest conversations, and a specialist who will help you get there, not talk you out of it

You never feel completely ready — at some point, you have to decide the process is more important than the feeling

Telling people matters — the support you get back is almost always better than you expected

Moving countries (or even cities) for support with a second child is not retreating — it's a practical, wise decision that makes the whole thing possible

The hard parts of the newborn phase fade faster than you think — and that's not a trick, it's biology

The hardest stage with two children isn't the newborn period — it's when the younger one develops their own strong personality and the two of them want different things

You can build a solo mum community anywhere, even a small town — it finds you once you're there

Two boys, solo: they will love you fiercely, and you will take full credit for all of it

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant or TTC Solo?
The Expecting solo takes you through everything you need to navigate pregnancy solo, share your news with confidence, build your support network and bring joy to the journey. Find out more.

First Try, Water Birth & Teaching Full Time
Lindsay is the kind of person who, when she decides something is happening, makes it happen.

She promised herself at 27 — the day she left her marriage — that not having a partner would never mean not having a child. She promised herself again at 30, moving to Scotland on her own without knowing a single person. And she promised herself at 35 that if she was still single, she would make it happen that year. She was. She did.

One round of IVF at Melbourne IVF. Nineteen eggs retrieved. Six embryos. A frozen transfer in December, just before her 36th birthday. A positive result over Christmas. A water birth with a doula at 37 weeks and two days — the day after her last day of work, standing in the rain doing tram duty. Aric is now eight months old. She's back teaching full time. She's planning to donate her eggs.

Lindsay is a maths and science teacher at an independent school in Melbourne. She navigated her entire IVF journey secretly, before the pregnancy was announced, managing scans and blood tests around the school day. She came back to work at five months and has spent term one figuring out what it actually means to be a full-time teacher and a full-time solo mum simultaneously — including more sick days than she's had in six years, a daycare she describes as phenomenal, and a WhatsApp group of five women from the Preparing for Solo Motherhood course who all had babies in the same year and are now, she says, the best thing in her life besides Aric.

This is a story for anyone who's been putting it off, thinks their journey will be long, or isn't sure how it's going to work with their job. Lindsay's answer to all of it is the same: you decide, and then you make it work.

In this episode:

Leaving her marriage at 27 and her mum's advice that changed everything

Living and working in Scotland at 30, dating with the FYI conversation, and the decision point at 35

The public fertility waitlist in Victoria — what it is, how long it takes, and why she's glad she explored private options at the same time

IVF at Melbourne IVF: choosing a donor, genetic carrier testing, and the last-minute transfer of funds before getting on a plane to Scotland

Nineteen eggs, six embryos, an OHSS risk, and a frozen transfer just before the Christmas clinic shutdown

Managing IVF secretly as a teacher — early morning appointments, removing clinic letterheads from medical certificates, and keeping a tight circle of support

The embryo transfer day — emotionally the hardest part of the journey, and the Facebook community moment that changed everything

A straightforward pregnancy, no complications beyond pelvic pain, and morning sickness managed with medication

Working to 37.5 weeks pregnant, tram duty in the rain on her last Friday, and Aric arriving the next day

Choosing a doula as a solo mum — why it was a deliberate, empowering choice, and how it shaped her birth

A water birth with minimal intervention, just happy gas, and what she describes as one of the most magical things she's ever done

Negotiating maternity leave in an independent school — EBAs, school holiday pay, the conversation she had to have with her principal, and going back to work at five months

A phenomenal community daycare, full time from five months, and navigating the first term back

The Preparing for Solo Motherhood course WhatsApp group — five women, five babies, late-night chats, Sunday check-ins, and a care package sent to a hospital in Sydney

Why she plans to donate her eggs — and the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny philosophy behind itKey Takeaways

Key Takeaways

The Victorian public fertility waitlist is worth joining even if private is your plan — people drop off ahead of you and circumstances change

If you're a teacher, ask your clinic for first appointments of the day — most fertility clinics accommodate this, and it's worth asking upfront

Tell your employer just enough to get the support you need — but ask about EBAs and maternity leave entitlements early, because independent schools operate differently to government schools

A doula is one of the most practical choices a solo mum can make for birth — she is your advocate, she knows your plan, and she doesn't count toward your support person limit

The course WhatsApp group is not a nice-to-have — it's one of the most important villages you can build before the baby arrives

You don't need a partner to have a rich support network — you need the right community

IVF as a solo mum by choice is empowering, not a last resort. The way we talk about it is different — and that mattersYou owe your fertility clinic no loyalty if it's not the right fit — changing clinics can change everything

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant solo and looking for your village?
The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.

Most of the stories on this podcast start at the beginning. This one starts seven years down the track — and it's one of the most valuable perspectives we have.

Renee made her first appointment at 37, after a colleague finally said the quiet part loud and told her to just do it already. She did two IUI rounds, had a bad experience with her first IVF clinic and walked away, found Dr David Wilkinson at City Fertility, and on her third and final round — a frozen transfer she specifically advocated for against the default fresh option — fell pregnant with Aria. She was 39.

Aria is now seven. She goes to Girl Guides, swimming and karate. She spent time in Bali with the solo mum community and came home telling her teachers about her brothers and sisters. She has decided she can't find Renee a husband because all the good ones are already married. She recently concluded she'd like to learn how to be on her own first before finding a partner — and she's seven.

This is a conversation about what the long view really looks like. Not just the birth story and the newborn phase — though Renee shares those too, including a GP who missed her post-caesarean sepsis and a cow's milk protein intolerance that took months to diagnose — but what it means to raise a donor-conceived child who is starting to ask real questions, to build a village from scratch in a new city, and to feel, genuinely, that this life is fuller than anything you could have imagined before it.

In this episode:

The colleague who finally told her to just do it — and how one conversation changed everything

Two IUI rounds and her first IVF clinic — and the moment she realised she owed them nothing and left

Finding Dr David Wilkinson at City Fertility, a fresh perspective, and a one-step-at-a-time approach

Three IVF rounds at 39 — low numbers, a Bali holiday between rounds, and the frozen transfer she asked for over the default fresh

The butterfly effect moment: the embryo she asked to be frozen became Aria

Coming home after a caesarean — and the GP who dismissed her concerns, missed her sepsis, and tried to put her on antidepressants

Cow's milk protein intolerance: months of a screaming baby, a GP who listened, and 48 hours to a different child

Donating her remaining embryo to another solo mum via Facebook — and what that process involved

Aria at seven: the donor questions she's asking, what Renee tells her and what she doesn't, and why she won't build up a donor who may disappoint

The one and done decision — and the clear-eyed logic behind it

The solo mum community: nearly giving up after two bad playground meet-ups, a leap-of-faith camping trip to Phillip Island, and the village she now can't imagine living without

The daughters of solo mums — and why Renee thinks they're going to have a fundamentally different relationship with what they need from a partner

What she'd say to Aria, and what she'd say to anyone sitting on the fence

Key Takeaways

You owe your fertility clinic no loyalty if it's not the right fit — changing clinics can change everything

Advocate for yourself in IVF decisions — Renee asked for a frozen transfer over the default fresh, and that embryo became Aria

Trust your instincts about your baby's health. If a GP dismisses you, find another one and bring your list

Building your village takes time, a few wrong fits, and one leap of faith — but it is out there

The solo mum community doesn't just support the mums — it creates chosen family for the children too

When your child says they wish they had a dad, ask more questions — it's almost never about the dad

Raise your child to know they are enough on their own before they look for anyone else to complete them

You can donate a remaining embryo to another family — ask your clinic about your options

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant solo and looking for your village?
The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.

Eight Months from Egg Freezing to Pregnant
Ashleigh's story is one of those ones that will genuinely reassure anyone who is at the very beginning of this journey and quietly terrified about how long it might take.

She was 33 when a friend planted the seed about egg freezing. She went to an initial clinic consultation — more curious than committed — and on the same day, a colleague at work mentioned she'd just had a baby via IVF with a sperm donor. Two seeds in one day. Eight months later, Ashleigh was pregnant.

There were no complications. No failed transfers. No long waitlists. She found a donor quickly, did a fresh IVF cycle alongside her frozen eggs, got six embryos, and fell pregnant on the very first transfer. She still has five embryos in storage.

She's a Queensland primary school teacher who now works three days a week at a school ten minutes from home and daycare. She took Z to Europe for a month at nine months old with her mum. She has connected with donor-conceived siblings — one of whom lives ten minutes away. And when asked what she'd tell someone sitting on the fence, she was in tears before she could even answer.

This is a lovely, warm, uncomplicated episode. Not every story on this podcast is a long or hard one — and that matters. This is proof that sometimes it really does just work.

In this episode:

Spending her 20s and early 30s as a dedicated primary school teacher — and how burnout shifted her thinking about what she actually wanted

A friend's egg freezing journey planting the seed — and a colleague's announcement on the same day as her first clinic appointment

Freezing her eggs at 33 and being pregnant by 34 — eight months from first appointment to positive transfer

Choosing an international donor in Queensland: blue eyes, healthy profile, and deliberately not overthinking it

A fresh IVF cycle alongside her frozen eggs — 15 eggs, 6 embryos, and a positive first transfer

Why she chose IVF over IUI — and the donor consent consideration that drove that decision

A straightforward pregnancy clouded only by constant nausea — teaching primary school while vomiting several times a day

An emergency caesarean and a surprisingly smooth recovery

The newborn phase that was easier than expected — and the 48 hours without sleep in Europe that was not

A month in Europe at nine months — what works, what doesn't, and why nine months is probably the cut-off

Returning to work three days a week at a school ten minutes from home and daycare

Connecting with donor-conceived siblings through the sperm bank's Facebook community — including one family ten minutes away

Five embryos still in storage, the question of a second child, and three flights of stairs

What she'd do differently: building the support network before baby arrives

Key Takeaways

The journey isn't always long — sometimes it really does move quickly, and it's worth starting sooner than you think

You don't need to overthink donor selection — knowing your non-negotiables and keeping a clear head serves you better than analysis paralysis

Choosing IVF over IUI when you want more than one child has practical advantages — embryos offer more protection than stored sperm alone in some circumstances

Build your support network before baby arrives — not after you're in it and everyone around you already has children

Returning to work part-time in a flexible, local role changes everything about the solo mum juggle

Connecting with donor-conceived siblings is better to do on your own terms before they potentially cross paths organically

Frozen embryos give you the luxury of time when it comes to the second child decision — you don't have to rush

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

TTC or in your first trimester?
The Expecting Solo course helps you navigate early pregnancy on your own terms — from managing symptoms and setting boundaries to finding the joy in your story. Live or on demand, from anywhere in the world. Find out more here.

Nearly half of first-time mums in Australia will have their labour induced. Most of them have no idea what that actually involves until they're in the middle of it.

This episode is here to change that.

I'm joined by Nat — Melbourne midwife, solo mum of three boys, and someone who has had three very different births of her own (including one that ended with her in ICU — more on that in her own episodes, which are linked below, but maybe save those for after you've had your baby). Nat works in a Melbourne tertiary hospital, and she's here in a personal capacity to give you a practical, informed, non-scary breakdown of what an induction actually is — and what you need to think about as a solo mum specifically.

This is not medical advice. For risks, benefits and research, Nat recommends The Great Birth Rebellion podcast — search your specific situation and you'll find the evidence base you need. What this episode gives you is the foundational knowledge to walk into those conversations with your care provider informed, confident, and asking the right questions.

Because here's what Nat — and I — both wish more women knew before they got to this point: there's a significant difference between being offered an induction because it's hospital policy, and being offered one because of your specific medical situation. Knowing which one you're in changes everything about the conversation you should be having.

In this episode:

What an induction actually is — and the difference between induction and augmentation

Why nearly one in three women are induced in Australia, and nearly half of first-time mums

The two types of induction recommendation: hospital policy versus your specific medical situation — and why this distinction matters

The BRAIN acronym — Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing — and how to use it in any appointment

The bishop score — what it is, what it means, and what happens next depending on the result

The gel and pessary — how they work, how long they take, and what to expect

The balloon catheter — what it actually is, how it works, and why you can ask for gas and air

Breaking your waters — what it involves and why it's less dramatic than it sounds by this point

The oxytocin (syntocin) drip — how it works, why it's different from natural labour, and why Nat recommends going in with an open mind about epidurals

CTG monitoring — what the straps are doing, what the numbers mean, and what it means when they adjust the drip

Why an induction can take two to three days — and what that means practically for solo mums with limited support

Birth plans, support people, doulas, private midwives, and student midwives — your real options

How to advocate for yourself if you're being pushed in a direction you're not comfortable with

Birth trauma — what causes it, and how being informed reduces your risk

Postpartum doulas and private midwives — what they can do for you after baby arrives

Setting your home up for a C-section even if you're aiming for a vaginal birth

Key Takeaways

Ask your care provider: is this induction recommendation based on hospital policy, or on my specific medical situation? The answer should change how you respond

Use the BRAIN acronym in every appointment — Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing

An induction can take two to three days — plan your support accordingly, and don't assume you'll have your baby the same day

If you're a solo mum without a support person, a doula or student midwife can be your advocate in the birth suite — and they don't count toward your support person limit

Research epidurals before you need one — going into an induction without considering it sets you up for a harder experience

Prepare your home for a C-section recovery even if that's not your plan — the solo mum who has meals in the freezer and grab rails in the bathroom will thank herself no matter what happens

Birth trauma comes from not being heard, not from the type of birth — being informed is protective

You can say stop at any point in this process. Even mid-induction. You are not obligated to continue anything without being heard

Resources Mentioned

The Great Birth Rebellion podcast — evidence-based research on all birth scenarios

The Positive Birth Company - bite-sized, scenario-by-scenario birth education

The Complete Guide to Postpartum: A mother-focused companion for life after birth by Sophie Walker's postpartum book — highly recommended for solo mums preparing for the fourth trimester

Nat's episodes on this podcast — Part 1 and Part 2 (save for after baby is here)

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

Pregnant solo and looking for your village?
The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.