Parents of the Year

Should parents “tell the truth” about Santa… or keep the story going? In this Parents of the Year holiday episode, Andrew and Caroline unpack what kids actually need when they start questioning Santa, how to respond without shame or panic, and how to turn the moment into something that builds kindness, generosity, and family connection. They talk about following your child’s lead, keeping your tone warm and honest, and shifting the story from “Is Santa real?” to “What does Santa stand for—and how do we carry that forward?” Homework IdeasPrep your “Santa questions” script  Be prepared so you don’t freeze:“What do you think?”“What makes you wonder that?”“What does Santa mean to you?”“In our family, Santa is a story about generosity and giving.”Plan the “invite them in” transition (kids who are figuring it out)If your child is questioning or knows:“You’re old enough to be in on it now.”“We keep Santa going to make it special for little kids.”“Want to help us do one small ‘Santa job’ this year?”Santa job ideas: choose a toy donation, deliver treats to helpers, set out a surprise note, wrap one gift.Pick one “Santa = generosity” traditiondonate a toy togetherwrite a thank-you card to a community helperdo a “secret kind act” daymake a small treat drop-offGoal: keep the meaning, not just the myth.If your kid asks directly: don’t over-talkTry:“That’s a smart question.”“What do you already believe?”“In our family, Santa is part story, part tradition—and the giving is real.”Keep it short. Let them lead the pace.Send us a textEnjoying the show? Help us out by rating us on Apple! https://apple.co/3du8mPK Follow us on Facebook and join our Facebook Community! Access resources, get support from other parents, and ask Caroline and Andrew your questions! Follow FB: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566206651235and FB Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/674563503855526

The holidays are supposed to be joyful—but for many families, they quietly amplify stress, overwhelm, and emotional reactivity.In this special crossover episode with Parents of the Year podcast, Dr. Caroline and her husband Andrew step away from “perfect holiday” pressure and take a psychologically grounded look at why emotions run hotter during the holidays, for both kids and adults.They explore how disrupted routines, sensory overload, social comparison, family dynamics, and unrealistic expectations tax the nervous system—and why emotional meltdowns, irritability, withdrawal, or disappointment are not signs of failure, but signals of dysregulation.This episode bridges emotion regulation science with real-life parenting moments.Rather than trying to make emotions disappear, this conversation focuses on helping families anticipate emotional needs, regulate proactively, and respond with intention instead of reactivity.Want to learn more about boosting resilience during the holidays? Check out these episodes:Holiday Stress? Here's How to Build Real Resilience (https://youtu.be/jXgq7dn-hR4)How can we nurture kids' emotional resilience during the holidays? (https://youtu.be/jXgq7dn-hR4)Homework IdeasChoose 2 Non-Negotiables + 2 FlexiblesDo:Non-negotiables (examples): “We don’t do three houses in one day,” “We eat before we go,” “We leave by 7:30.”Flexibles: “Which movie?” “Which dessert?” “When we open gifts (within a window).”Share it with your child/teen (and any other adults involved) before the big day.Build a Regulation Plan: Before / During / AfterDo: Create a 3-part plan:Before: sleep, food, hydration, quiet time, predict the tough momentsDuring: micro-breaks, movement, sensory supports, time limitsAfter: decompression time, low-demand evening, early bedtime when possibleReplacement Behaviours for Screen/Scroll TrapsDo: Choose a replacement behaviour you’ll do instead of scrolling when stressed:5-minute walkshort stretchtext one friend directly (real connection) Set a phone boundary: “No social media before noon” or “10 minutes max, with a timer.”Set Expectations Explicitly Do: Ask:“What are you most excited about—specifically?”“What would make the day feel like a win?”Then set realistic anchors:one meaningful momentone active thingone connection pointUse “Let It Go vs. Address It” Sorting Do: Before gatherings, decide:2 things you’ll let go (minor irritations)1 thing you’ll address if needed (a true boundary)Use a short phrase to hold it:“Not today.”“That’s not up for discussion.”“We’re keeping it simple this year.”End-of-Day Debrief: 3–2–1 ResetDo (at bedtime or next morning): 3 things that went okay, 1 tweak Send us a textEnjoying the show? Help us out by rating us on Apple! https://apple.co/3du8mPK Follow us on Facebook and join our Facebook Community! Access resources, get support from other parents, and ask Caroline and Andrew your questions! Follow FB: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566206651235and FB Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/674563503855526

Phones were supposed to make life easier. Instead, many parents feel like they’re raising kids alongside a slot machine that lives in everyone’s pocket.In this powerful Parents of the Year episode, Andrew and Caroline sit down with MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW to talk about phones, dopamine, porn, AI, and what realistic boundaries look like in 2025. MJ shares what she’s seen across four decades in the therapy room—before and after smartphones—and why today’s kids’ brains are simply not built for the amount of stimulation they’re getting.You’ll hear why phones are engineered to hook the brain’s reward system, how overuse fuels anxiety, irritability, and low mood, and why “it’s just their social life” is a dangerous myth. MJ explains her ACT phone model (Awareness, Create phone-free time, Take it out of the bedroom), the difference between real connection and “scrolling together,” and why parents have to clean up their own phone use first.We also wade into the harder territory: early pornography exposure, violent porn, AI chat “friends,” and suicidal threats when phones are taken away. MJ offers concrete language, practical boundaries, and a compassionate approach that centres relationship and safety.If you’ve ever felt guilty, confused, or totally outgunned by your child’s phone, this episode will give you clarity, language, and next steps you can actually use tonight.Homework IdeasPhone Use Awareness (for parents first)Check your screen time report for a full week. Note:Total daily hoursTop 3 appsTimes of day you reach for it mostJournal one line a day: “What was I avoiding or soothing when I reached for my phone?”Create Phone-Free Blocks (ACT – C)Choose 1–2 daily blocks where all phones are away and out of reach (e.g., 5–7 pm, mealtimes, bedtime routine)Physically store them in another room or lockbox. During those blocks, invite, don’t force:WalksBaking or cookingBoard game“Nothing time” where people can be bored and see what happensTake Phones Out of the Bedroom (ACT – T)Parents go first. Replace your phone with a basic alarm clock or a speaker for music/meditation if neededOnce you’ve done it for 2–4 weeks, have a family meeting:Explain the sleep and brain science (keep it simple: “Brains need dark, quiet, and no pings to reset properly.”)Agree as a family: phones docked in a shared space overnight and/or in a lockbox.Curate the Feed – “You Are What You Scroll”Together, pick 3–5 things you want more of in life (e.g., art, sport, nature, comedy).Follow accounts that actually match those values.Unfollow / mute accounts that leave you anxious, angry, or “less than.”Watch The Social Dilemma as a family and discuss: What surprised you? What do you want to change about how you use your phone?Send us a textEnjoying the show? Help us out by rating us on Apple! https://apple.co/3du8mPK Follow us on Facebook and join our Facebook Community! Access resources, get support from other parents, and ask Caroline and Andrew your questions! Follow FB: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566206651235and FB Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/674563503855526

Boredom gets a bad reputation in modern parenting. Kids hate it, adults avoid it, and screens are always within reach to fill the quiet. In this Parents of the Year episode, Andrew and Caroline pull back the curtain on what boredom really does for kids’ brains—and for ours as adults. They talk honestly about ADHD, distress tolerance, screen overload, and why we don’t need to be our kids’ entertainment directors. You’ll hear: How boredom can feel physically painful for many kids and adults (especially with ADHD) How distress tolerance and emotion regulation show up when kids say “I’m bored!” The brain’s default mode network and why mind-wandering is essential for creativity and problem-solving  Why constant stimulation (screens, podcasts, social media) can quietly erode focus, patience, and mental health Practical ways families can build screen-free “nothing time” into daily life without power struggles Give kids space to explore, create, and figure stuff out—without a device in sight.  Homework Ideas🧩 Schedule “Alone Time” Blocks (for Kids and You)Pick one daily block (start with 15–30 minutes):·        No screens·        No parent entertainment·        Kids are free to read, draw, build, daydream, play, or putterTell them:“This is your time to figure out what to do. I’m not going to fill it.”For you: use that same block to do one simple thing without a device:·        Make tea·        Tidy a corner·        Sit and stare out a window·        Flip through a physical book🧩 Do a “Screen Audit” of Hidden MomentsFor 1–2 days, notice when you automatically reach for your phone:·        In the bathroom·        While eating·        While waiting in the car or pickup line·        In bed at night or first thing in the morningAsk aloud:“Why am I picking up my phone right now? What do I actually need to do?”If it’s not essential, practice putting it down and just being there. This is exactly the skill we want kids to build.🧩 Drive or Walk Without AudioChoose one of these and do it once or twice a week:·        A drive with everything off—no podcast, no music, no audiobook·        A walk without headphones or scrollingNotice:·        How quickly you want to fill the silence·        What thoughts pop up when your mind wanders·        How your nervous system feels afterwardShare that with your kids:“I drove in total quiet today. My brain really needed that break.”🧩 Create a Helpful SpaceSet up a shelf, basket, or corner with non-screen options kids can choose from when they’re “bored”:·        Simple craft supplies·        Blank paper, markers, tape·        Building materials·        Puzzles or open-ended toys·        A few books or magazinesYour script when they say “I’m bored”:“Good. That’s your brain asking for something new. Go see what your brain can come up with.”🧩  Protect BedroomSend us a textEnjoying the show? Help us out by rating us on Apple! https://apple.co/3du8mPK Follow us on Facebook and join our Facebook Community! Access resources, get support from other parents, and ask Caroline and Andrew your questions! Follow FB: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566206651235and FB Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/674563503855526

Andrew and Caroline discuss how much our own self-awareness as parents shape the way our kids turn out?From yelling regrets and chore battles this episode blends humour with honest reflection. They explore how everyday reactions, no matter how big or small, shape connection, resilience, and emotional safety.Listeners hear real examples of repair, frustration, boundaries, and the awkward but important skill of owning our mistakes. The message running through the conversation: parenting isn’t about perfection. What matters is noticing our reactions, understanding their impact, and showing kids what growth looks like in real time.Ideal for anyone looking for grounded, relatable conversations about emotional modeling, relationship repair, and realistic parenting.Homework IdeasDaily One-Minute Reflection At the end of the day, jot down one moment where you felt proud of your response and one moment you want to change next time. Purpose: builds habits without shame.Repair in Real Time When you lose your cool or snap, go back later with a short, clear statement: “I didn’t like how I handled that. Next time I’m going to try __.” Purpose: teaches kids accountability, not fear. Just be sure you do try something different next time!“Pause and Separate” Strategy If emotions spike, walk away before continuing the conversation. Purpose: models regulation more effectively than trying to force calm.Identify Your Trigger Points List the situations that reliably set you off. Then choose one and plan a calmer response for next time. Purpose: reduces reactive patterns.Consistent, Clear Boundaries Choose one boundary that matters.  Follow through on it for a full week without debating or lecturing. Purpose: builds predictability and reduces power struggles.Send us a textEnjoying the show? Help us out by rating us on Apple! https://apple.co/3du8mPK Follow us on Facebook and join our Facebook Community! Access resources, get support from other parents, and ask Caroline and Andrew your questions! Follow FB: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566206651235and FB Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/674563503855526