Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Patty Laushman, a speaker, autism life coach, and the author of the book Parenting for Independence: Overcoming Failure to Launch in Autistic Emerging Adults, joins me to talk about one of the misunderstood stages of parenting: supporting our neurodivergent kids as they move into emerging adulthood. In our conversation, Patty and I unpack the concept of “failure to launch,” why that label is actually unhelpful and inaccurate, and how redefining independence can change everything. We talk about self-determination, motivation, and what support actually looks like during this phase of life. Patty also shares her SBN parenting framework—Support, Boundaries, and Nudges—and offers grounded, compassionate guidance for navigating this transition while strengthening trust and connection along the way.

About Patty Laushman

 

Patty Laushman is an author, speaker, educator, and coach who specializes in supporting neurodivergent individuals and the families who love them. With both personal and professional experience, she deeply understands the challenges of being neurodivergent in a world designed for those who are more neurotypical—and the transformative power of the right kind of support.

She is the founder and head coach at Thrive Autism Coaching, where she and her team help neurodivergent teens and adults, as well as their parents, build the skills and confidence needed to thrive. Patty developed the SBN™ parenting framework, a step-by-step system that teaches parents how to use support, boundaries, and nudges to help their autistic emerging adults reclaim motivation, build momentum, and move toward more meaningful lives on their own terms.

Through her Parenting for Independence group coaching program, Patty has guided hundreds of families through this unexpected stage of parenting—helping them rebuild trust, strengthen relationships, and finally start seeing progress. Her compassionate, neurodiversity-affirming approach has been described by clients as “the only thing that has ever worked for us.”She lives with her husband, son, and Golden Retriever in the Denver/Boulder metro area. In her spare time, you’ll find her hiking, camping, headbanging to heavy metal, or devouring medical or crime dramas.

Things you'll learn from this episode  

How understanding a child’s lived experience lays the groundwork for more effective, compassionate parenting

Why the term “failure to launch,” while loaded, can help families find the right support and resources

How redefining independence to include positive interdependence supports healthier outcomes for emerging adults

Why self-determination is central to helping neurodivergent young adults move out of stuckness and burnout

How the SBN framework—Support, Boundaries, and Nudges—guides parents in creating momentum without control

Why resetting expectations and timelines can ease parental shame and anxiety while supporting real growth

Resources mentioned

Patty Laushman’s website Thrive Autism Coaching


Parenting for Independence: Overcoming Failure to Launch in Autistic Emerging Adults by Patty Laushman


How to Get Your Autistic Emerging Adult in the Driver’s Seat of Their Life (freebie from Patty)


Parenting for Independence (Patty’s program)

Private Coaching for Parents with Patty


The Real Work of Parenting Neurodivergent Young Adults (Part 1) — a crossover episode with Penny Williams (Full-Tilt Parenting podcast)


The Real Work of Parenting ND Young Adults (Part 2) (Beautifully Complex podcast)


A Conservation with Dr. Gina Riley on Self-Determination Theory & Motivation (Full-Tilt Parenting)


A Conversation with Linda Murphy About Declarative Language episode (Full-Tilt Parenting)

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In this special kid’s POV edition of the podcast, Asher answers
questions from listeners — specifically our kid audience — about his
social life. Like many differently-wired kids, social scenes aren’t
always smooth sailing for Asher. He sometimes struggles to pick-up on
others’ cues and his occasionally intense emotional reactions to certain
situations can be off-putting to other kids.

We talk about it all in this episode, as Asher opens up about not
only what’s challenging for him in relationship to other kids, but what
strategies he’s using to get through these challenges and maintain
friendships, something that is very important to him.

 

Questions answered in this episode:

What are your friendships like?

What kind of challenges have you had in your friendships and how have you handled them?

What happens when you have a meltdown in front of a friend?

What do you do when kids are mean to you or call you names like “weirdo?”

What advice do you have for kids starting a new school?

How do you manage group situations that don’t go your way?

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Today’s conversation is a candid, honest look at what it’s really like to parent while navigating ADHD yourself. My guest is Laura Key, Vice President of Content Strategy at Understood.org and the host of the award-winning ADHD Aha! podcast. Laura was diagnosed with ADHD at 30, and she brings both professional insight and lived experience to this conversation as a mom raising two neurodivergent kids. Laura and I talk about the emotional labor so many mothers carry, the unique challenges parents with ADHD face, and why self-compassion is not optional—it’s essential. We dig into shame, burnout (both the quiet, everyday kind and the big, overwhelming kind), communication with partners, and the pressure that can come with framing ADHD as a “superpower.” This episode is an honest exploration of the joys and struggles of parenting with ADHD, and a reminder that you’re not alone in any of it.

About Laura Key 

Laura Key is Vice President of Content Strategy at Understood.org, a non-profit organization dedicated to empowering the 70 million people with ADHD, dyslexia, and other learning and thinking differences in the United States. She's also the host of the award-winning ADHD Aha! podcast.

Things you'll learn from this episode  

How adult ADHD is often misread as anxiety at first, and why addressing one can illuminate the other

Why late identification can bring both grief and relief after years of self-blame for brain-based differences

How shame and invisible executive function demands can quietly dominate family life, especially for moms

Why being great in a crisis but overwhelmed by daily details is a common—and misunderstood—ADHD pattern

How burnout can show up as both “micro” and “macro” exhaustion, including frenetic busyness that masks collapse

Why recovery often starts with basic regulation and more realistic self-expectations, not grand productivity plans

Resources mentioned

Understood.org

Understood on Instagram

Understood on LinkedIn


ADHD Aha (podcast)


Imposter Syndrome After a Lifetime of Hacking Her ADHD (Debbie with Laura on ADHD Aha)

Understood’s podcast study on women, podcasts, and ADHD

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Today’s episode is all about self-care for autistic people, and joining me is return guest Dr. Megan Anna Neff of Neurodivergent Insights. Megan Anna has just published a new book called Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask! which she wrote to help autistic people accept themselves, destigmatize autism, find community, and take care of physical and mental health.

Megan Anna considers self-care to be a collective effort that includes the well-being of the community, a framework that really resonated with me. So we talk about that, along with other ideas from Megan Anna’s book, including how internalized ableism can hinder self-care, considerations for navigating self-care for individuals with PDA, and insights into co-regulation, sensory considerations, and how advocacy and accommodations in the workplace can also be forms of self-care.

 

ABOUT DR. MEGAN ANNA NEFF
Dr. Megan Anna Neff (she/they) is a neurodivergent Clinical Psychologist
and founder of Neurodivergent Insights where she creates education and
wellness resources for neurodivergent adults. Additionally, she is co-host of the Divergent Conversations podcast. As a late-diagnosed AuDHDer (Autistic ADHD), Dr. Neff applies their lived experiences from a cross-neurotype marriage and parenting neurodivergent children to their professional focus. They are committed to broadening the mental health field’s understanding of autism and ADHD beyond traditional stereotypes. This personal-professional blend enriches their work and advocacy within neurodiversity.

Dr. Neff is the author of Self-Care for Autistic People and a forthcoming book on Autistic Burnout. Additionally, she has published in several peer-reviewed journals on topics ranging from neurodivergence, place attachment, relational psychoanalysis, social psychology, and integration of spirituality into psychotherapy.

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Why self-care should be approached with self-attunement and an understanding of one’s own needs

Why self-care is a collective effort that includes the well-being of the community

How internalized ableism can hinder self-care and why it’s important to address it

Ideas for navigating self-care for individuals with PDA regarding autonomy, co-regulation, and sensory considerations

Ways to practice self-care in the workplace, including self-disclosure, documentation, and setting realistic expectations

 ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Dr. Megan Anna Neff’s website


Self-Care For Autistic People by Dr. Megan Anna Neff

* A special bonus offer for Tilt Parenting community *

Divergent Conversations Podcast

Neurodivergent Insights on Instagram

Neurodivergent Insights on Facebook

Dr. Megan Anna Neff on LinkedIn

Dr. Megan Anna Neff’s Link in Bio


Dr. Megan Anna Neff on Diagnoses and Misdiagnoses (Tilt Parenting Podcast)

Sarah Wayland


Is This Autism? A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland

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Dr. Ross Greene’s work has profoundly shaped how so many of us think about kids’ behavior and what they actually need from the adults in their lives, so I’m thrilled to welcome him back to the show to talk about his brand new book, The Kids Who Aren’t Okay: The Urgent Case for Reimagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools. Together, we explore the urgent need to reimagine how we support children in schools, especially as mental health concerns continue to rise. We dig into the importance of recognizing developmental variability, why meeting kids where they are is non-negotiable, and how current behavior-focused systems miss the real problems underneath. Ross also highlights the role parents and caregivers can play in advocating for meaningful change.

About Dr. Ross Greene 

Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and the originator of the innovative, evidence-based approach called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS), as described in his influential books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Lost & Found, and Raising Human Beings. He also developed and executive produced the award-winning documentary film The Kids We Lose, released in 2018. Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now founding director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance. He is also currently adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of Technology in Sydney, Australia. Dr. Greene has worked with several thousand kids with concerning behaviors and their caregivers, and he and his colleagues have overseen implementation and evaluation of the CPS model in countless schools, inpatient psychiatric units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, with dramatic effect: significant reductions in recidivism, discipline referrals, detentions, suspensions, and use of restraint and seclusion. Dr.Greene lectures throughout the world and lives in Freeport, Maine.

Things you'll learn from this episode 

How kids today are facing unprecedented challenges that require new ways of thinking and responding

Why developmental variability matters and why every child needs support tailored to their unique profile

How schools can create more supportive ecosystems by using proactive rather than reactive approaches

Why behavior is often a late signal of unmet expectations, not the problem itself

How managing expectations and understanding root causes can reduce concerning behaviors

Why parents’ advocacy and the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model can transform how children are supported in education

Resources mentioned


The Kids Who Aren’t Okay: The Urgent Case for Reimagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools by Dr. Ross Greene


Never Too Early: CPS with Young Kids (documentary)


The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Dr. Ross Greene


Lives in the Balance (Dr. Greene’s website)


The B Team (Facebook group)


Lost at School: Why Our Kids With Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them by Dr. Ross Greene


Raising Human Beings: Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child by Dr. Ross Greene


Lost and Found: Helping Behaviorally Challenge Students (and While You’re At It, All the Others by Dr. Ross Greene


The Kids We Lose (documentary)


How to Parent Angry and Explosive Children, with Dr. Ross Greene (Tilt Parenting podcast)

Ken Wilbur

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