PodcastsKids & FamilyResilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

Ashley Costello | TEDx Speaker | Author | Psychotherapist | Award Winner
Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens
Latest episode

114 episodes

  • Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

    S10E7 - The Place I Finally Fit

    30/04/2026 | 26 mins.
    "You made this place look like somewhere worth being."
    Can I ask you something personal?
    When did you first feel like you truly belonged somewhere?
    Not tolerated. Not managed. Not just allowed to exist in the room. But wanted. Expected. Like the space would feel different if you weren’t there.
    For some of you, that feeling came early — a family dinner table, a school team, a bedroom that felt like the whole world.
    But for many, it didn’t.
    And when it did arrive, it often came from somewhere unexpected.
    Not a system. Not a programme.
    A person.
    One adult who decided — without being asked, without it being written into a job description, without any guarantee it would work — that this child was worth showing up for.
    This episode is about those people.
    The youth workers. The support workers. The ones sitting in community centres, church halls, and temporary spaces — who quietly change the direction of young lives.

    WHAT THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT
    Kezia is thirteen.
    She has been to four schools in five years. She eats lunch in the library. She draws entire cities in the margins of her notebooks — detailed worlds she has been building quietly for two years — and she has never shown anyone.
    Then one Thursday afternoon, she ends up at a youth centre she doesn’t want to be in.
    A youth worker called Marcus asks her one question about her drawing.
    A question no one has ever asked before.
    This is the story of what happens next.
    And why one consistent, caring adult — in an underfunded room with a broken table tennis table — can change the trajectory of a child’s life.
    This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like they didn’t quite fit anywhere.
    And for every youth worker, support worker, and community professional who shows up anyway — week after week — even when no one seems to be watching.

    KEY IDEAS
    Belonging uncertainty

    For children who’ve experienced instability or rejection, there’s often a quiet question running in the background: “Do I belong here?”

    That question takes up space, making it harder to connect and engage.

    Even small moments of genuine recognition can begin to settle that uncertainty.
    Fitting in vs belonging

    Fitting in is becoming who you think you need to be to be accepted.

    Belonging is being accepted as you are.
    The power of one stable adult

    For children experiencing instability, the most protective factor isn’t a programme — it’s one consistent adult who shows up.
    The youth work gap

    Youth services have been reduced, yet their impact remains profound.

    When young people lose access, they don’t just lose activities — they lose relationships, safety, and belonging.

    FIVE WAYS TO CREATE BELONGING
    Start with their interests, not their history

    Reward presence, not disclosure

    Be consistent

    Let them contribute

    Say it out loud: “This place is better when you’re here.”

    LISTENERS LOUNGE
    For all research, references, and deeper reading:
    👉 ⁠https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge⁠

    USEFUL LINKS
    Sign up to our newsletter:
    ⁠https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share⁠
    Get A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid:
    ⁠https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605⁠
    Facebook:
    ⁠https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk⁠
    Instagram:
    ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid⁠
    LinkedIn:
    ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid⁠
    Pinterest:
    ⁠https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy⁠
    YouTube:
    ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957⁠
    Spotify:
    ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello⁠
    Website:
    ⁠https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk⁠
    Teacher guide waitlist:
    [email protected]

    A NOTE ON THE STORY
    Kezia and Marcus are composite characters, built from real experiences and stories shared by young people and youth workers.
    If you see yourself in Kezia, that’s intentional.
    You were never too much.
    You just needed someone to notice your city.
  • Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

    The Teacher Who Saw Me

    24/04/2026 | 18 mins.
    What This Episode Is About
    Have you ever had a teacher who truly saw you — not your grades, not your reputation, not your behaviour record, but you?
    In this episode, we tell the story of Jamie — a child labelled, managed, and quietly written off — and the teacher who refused to go along with the script. Ms. Okafor didn't have a magic wand. She had something more powerful: curiosity, consistency, and the decision to make deposits when everyone else had been withdrawing.
    Along the way, we dig into the real science behind why one relationship can change the entire trajectory of a child's life — and we give you five practical tools to start building that kind of connection today.
    Whether you're a teacher, a parent, a youth worker, or someone who was once a Jamie yourself — this one's for you.
    Time Stamps:
    00:00 Remember That Teacher
    01:09 Meet Jamie
    03:09 Mrs Smith Sees Him
    04:34 Why Mattering Works
    08:14 Make Emotional Deposits
    10:34 A Turning Point Plan
    12:47 Labels And Expectations
    14:37 Message To Teachers
    16:30 Closing And Book Waitlist
    Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge:
    https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge 
    Useful Links
    Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share
    Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid
    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid
    Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957
    Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello
    Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk
    If you want to get on the waitlist for the Teachers guide book then please email - [email protected]
  • Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

    S10E5 - The One that Believed First

    10/04/2026 | 32 mins.
    This season, we’re exploring one powerful question:
    Who made a difference in your life?
    In this heartfelt episode, Ashley sits down with Sarah Hughes, co-organiser of Womanifest, mum of four, and business owner, to explore the impact of one person who changed everything for her.
    From self-doubt and feeling stuck… to building a business, stepping into leadership, and helping run a transformational festival for women and teen girls—Sarah shares the story of how one person’s belief helped her begin to believe in herself.
    This conversation is a powerful reminder that it’s not always the big moments that shape us…
    it’s the people who see us, support us, and stay.
    What You’ll Hear in This Episode
    The one person who made a life-changing difference for Sarah
    How belief from others can unlock confidence within us
    The impact of having someone who doesn’t let you give up on yourself
    Overcoming self-doubt, fear, and feeling “not good enough”
    The ripple effect of growth—how it influences the next generation
    Why you might already be that person for someone else
    Key Takeaway
    It doesn’t take perfection or having all the answers to change someone’s life.
    Sometimes it’s simply:
    Showing up
    Listening
    Holding space
    Believing in someone… before they believe in themselves
    About Sara Hughes
    Sara is a mum of four, business owner, and co-organiser of Womanifest—a powerful festival designed to inspire, educate, and empower women and teen girls.
    She also runs the Teen Tent at Womanifest, creating a safe, inspiring space where young people can explore confidence, identity, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.
    Join Us at Womanifest
    Ashley and The Resilient Kid team will be hosting the Teen Tent at Womanifest—a space dedicated to supporting teen girls with:
    Confidence-building
    Understanding emotions
    Healthy relationships
    Anxiety support
    Creative workshops and connection
    Come and experience it for yourself
    Meet the team
    See the impact up close
    A Final Thought
    As you listen, you might find yourself thinking about your person…
    Or maybe realising something even more powerful:
    You might be that person for someone else.
    And that’s where change begins.
    One moment.
    One conversation.
    One person.
    Time Stamps:
    00:00 One Person Who Changed You
    00:36 Meet Sarah Hughes
    01:14 What One Manifest Is
    04:19 Teen Tent Highlights
    07:05 Who Made The Difference
    07:56 How Sarah Met Lisa
    10:57 First One Manifest Experience
    12:18 Rock Bottom To Breakthrough
    16:23 Launching The Crystal Business
    18:23 Taking Over The Teen Area
    20:43 Belief That Builds Resilience
    25:27 Passing Confidence To Caden
    30:10 Thank You Lisa
    30:49 Final Reflection And Invitation
    Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge:
    https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge
    Youtube Link:
    Spotify Link:
    Sara Hughes
    Website: www.womanifest.co.uk
    Instagram: @the_crystal_fairy_godmother
    Facebook Group: View Facebook Group

    Useful Links
    Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share
    Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid
    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid
    Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957
    Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello
    Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk
  • Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

    The One Where I Felt Seen

    27/03/2026 | 37 mins.
    This month on The Resilient Kid Podcast, we’re exploring a powerful theme: one person who made a difference in your life.
    In this episode, Ashley is joined by friend of the show, Sarah Vogel, for a thoughtful and heartfelt conversation about the person who changed the direction of Sarah’s life — a colleague and dear friend, Dr Elaine Swan.
    What started as one simple comment in a London department store in the late 1980s became the first domino in a chain of events that shaped Sarah’s future. From seeing herself differently, to going to university as a mature student, to building a life and career that has impacted so many others, Sarah reflects on the incredible ripple effect of being truly seen by someone.
    In this episode, we cover:
    The person who made a lasting difference in Sarah’s life
    How one comment planted the seed for university and a completely different future
    Why being seen by another person can change how we see ourselves
    The ripple effect of confidence and encouragement
    How Sarah now helps others see strengths they may not yet recognise in themselves
    Why young people need real-life opportunities to build confidence
    The importance of conversations, risk-taking, and resilience in growing up
    How small moments of belief can create lifelong impact
    About Sarah Vogel
    Sarah Vogel is a coach, facilitator, mediator, and leadership expert who helps people and organisations have better, braver, and more effective conversations. Through her work with PDA, she supports leaders to build confidence, influence, accountability, and stronger relationships at work.
    Sarah is also passionate about helping young people develop confidence, communication skills, and resilience early in life — so they can step into the world feeling more grounded, capable, and connected.
    A note for parents and professionals
    This episode is a reminder that you may never fully know the impact you are having on a child or young person.
    A conversation.
    A vote of confidence.
    A moment of encouragement.
    A belief they borrow before they can find their own.
    It all matters.
    And often, the things that feel small to us are the very things they remember for years to come.
    Connect and share
    If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who has made a difference in your life — or with someone who may need the reminder that their presence matters more than they know.
    And as you listen, maybe ask yourself:
    Who was that one person for you?
    And perhaps even more importantly…
    Who might you be that person for now?
    Teen Event Mention
    Teen tickets are now on sale for Womanifest, where Ashley and Sarah will be hosting dedicated teen sessions focused on confidence, body positivity, resilience, relationships, and emotional wellbeing. - https://www.skiddle.com/whats-on/Crewe/Delamere-Events-Ltd/Womanifest-2026/41123458/
    It will be a space for teens to feel supported, inspired, and equipped with tools they can take into everyday life.
    We are building a community of people who want to be that person for more children, in more places. So if something in this episode has resonated with you, and you have ever felt that pull to make a difference not only in your own family but in your wider community too, that is exactly why we created our franchise - https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/franchise 
    Links
    Website: www.contactpda.com
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ContactPDA
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/contactpda
    Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share
    Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid
    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957
    Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello
    Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk
  • Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

    The Mother's Day Edition

    19/03/2026 | 14 mins.
    Mother’s Day can look like breakfast in bed, family roasts, and a full, noisy house…
    But for many, it’s also a day that brings mixed emotions — grief, distance, complicated relationships, or quiet reflection.
    In this episode, I share a personal story about my mum — not for the everyday things we often associate with motherhood, but for something deeper.
    Her courage.
    At just 22, she emigrated to South Africa on a one-way ticket, building a life from scratch. But when her marriage broke down, she made a decision that would shape everything that came after…
    She came home.
    As a single mum.
    To a small town.
    To judgement.
    To starting again.
    And it got me thinking…
    It only takes one person.
    One person to make a different choice.
    One person to choose happiness over what looks easier.
    One person to change the direction of a child’s life.
    In this episode, we explore:
    Why Mother’s Day can feel joyful and heavy
    The unseen courage behind parenting decisions
    How one brave choice can shape generations
    Reflecting on “what if?” — and how different life could have been
    The idea that we can be that one person for our children
    This is a gentle, honest episode — whether you’re celebrating, grieving, or somewhere in between.
    A gentle reminder
    If Mother’s Day feels hard for you, you’re not alone.
    Your experience is valid — whether it’s shaped by loss, distance, or a relationship that isn’t what you hoped it would be.
    And if today brings gratitude, love, and connection — hold onto that too.
    There’s space for all of it.
    Want to be that one person for more children?
    If this episode resonated with you and you feel called to support children in building confidence, emotional resilience, and stronger futures…
    You can find out more about becoming part of The Resilient Kid community here:
    👉 https://www.theresilientkid.co.uk/franchise
    Our franchise opportunity is designed for people who want to make a real difference — working with children, families, and schools to create lasting change.
    Because it really does only take one person… to change everything.
    📩 Stay connected
    Follow along for more parenting insights and support
    Share this episode with someone who might need to hear it today
    Join our community for practical tools and real conversations
    Time Stamps:
    00:00 Mothers Day Morning
    00:40 Family Feast Reflections
    01:36 It Only Takes One
    02:02 Leap to South Africa
    03:09 Building a New Life
    04:54 Coming Home Alone
    05:21 Small Town Judgment
    07:11 Debt and Starting Over
    08:24 Raised by Community
    10:58 One Choice Changed Everything
    11:29 Quiet Bravery of Moms
    12:26 Your One Person Story
    13:14 Series Mission and Invitation
    14:17 Final Thanks and Call
    Find all the resources in our Listeners Lounge:
    https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge
    Youtube Link:
    Spotify Link:
    Useful Links
    Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/share
    Get “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkiduk
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkid
    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkid
    Pinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademy
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957
    Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costello
    Website: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

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About Resilient Kid: Therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens

TEDx speaker, author, and award-winning psychotherapist Ashley Costello provides therapy and tips for raising strong kids and teens. As the visionary founder of The Resilient Kid Franchise, Ashley shares professional psychotherapy and support for child mental health. Discover practical parenting strategies for every stage of your child's forming years. Access searchable expert advice for families and educators dedicated to building resilience. This show delivers vital tools for raising strong, capable young people, focusing on mental wellness, professional support, and expert-led tips.
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