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The Therapy Crouch

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The Therapy Crouch
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  • “This DIY Disaster Almost FLOODED Their House!” - Matching Outfits Go Wrong & Abolishing Homework!
    On this week’s Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, the gang are taking in the last of the Portuguese sun before home time - as Abbey and Peter take on your funniest and most relatable listener questions. From a poor listener whose “handyman husband” has turned the house into a DIY disaster zone, to another who’s convinced the Crouches have restored her faith in marriage, it’s another chaotic yet heartwarming week on the pod.Pete wades into the debate of why Scotland are “so shite at football,” while Abbey campaigns to abolish homework once and for all. The pair also reveal their proudest life moments — with Abbey getting emotional about motherhood and Pete somehow bringing it back to the World Cup.Plus, there’s chat on couple fashion faux pas, a dramatic bird update from the villa, and plenty of laughs about champagne-fuelled parenting.Still on holiday, still bickering, still brilliant — it’s another unfiltered episode of The Therapy Crouch.00:00 – The pair kick off the AMA episode in Portugal00:01:10 – Holiday reflections00:01:49 – Petition to “abolish all homework forever.”00:03:20 – The bird in the drainpipe00:04:10 – Listener message: “You make me excited to be married”00:06:09 – Why are Scotland so shite at football?00:11:10 – “Have you always been tidy?”00:12:37 – Abbey opens up about motherhood00:14:46 – A listener writes in about how the Crouches’ advice saved their relationship.00:15:10 – Couple fashion debate00:17:26 – “The Handyman Era”00:19:10 – The importance of being upfront in relationshipsEmail: [email protected] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcastTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ For more from Peterhttps://twitter.com/petercrouchFor more from Abbeyhttps://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancyOur clips channelhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  • “Whatever I Do Will Be Wrong!” - Pete’s Party Planning Panic & Abbey’s Wardrobe Wisdom!
    On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, the gang are still living their best lives in sunny Portugal — but it’s not all cocktails and calm seas. Abbey spirals into her biggest dilemma yet: how on earth to plan her 40th birthday when every idea feels wrong? Between kitchen renovations, skipped parties, and Peter’s “whatever I do will be wrong” defeatism, tensions are high (and hilarious).Ross chimes in with holiday dreams and more chaos ensues as they unpack why every marriage argument somehow ends with builders, bags, or birthday parties. Listeners write in with tales of Fitbit-fuelled competition, friendship ghosting, and family heartbreak — including one letter that has Abbey on the verge of tears.Of course, there’s laughter too — from Peter’s golf obsession and dream bench, to Abbey’s life-changing fashion advice that proves every mum can still feel sensational. It’s classic Therapy Crouch: a mix of sunshine, sarcasm, and surprisingly emotional honesty from podcasters abroad.00:22 – Back in sunny Portugal and feeling smug about it.01:08 – The surprise reveal: the kids think they’re flying home… but they’re off to Universal Orlando!02:38 – Flashback to Abbey’s secret pregnancy at Thorpe Park — and why Pete ended up as the bag holder.04:10 – Abbey’s Weekly Whinge: the never-ending 40th birthday indecision and kitchen chaos.05:24 – Peter admits, “Whatever I do will be wrong” — a brutally honest husband moment.06:25 – Abbey declares, “You’re not invited to my 40th!” and jokes she wants an upgrade.08:12 – The Kardashian kitchen dream and Pete’s sarcastic budget breakdown.10:32 – Home life meltdown: Abbey rants about builders, skips, and endless renovation stress.13:10 – The acorn apocalypse: squirrels, gardeners, and a ridiculous countryside conspiracy.15:00 – The “high maintenance” debate turns into a surprisingly heartfelt love declaration.16:45 – Abbey calls out Pete for his smartwatch laziness — then a listener’s Fitbit rivalry takes centre stage.19:25 – A listener vents about organizing a group gift — and creating a “spreadsheet of resentment.”21:20 – Pete reveals the bizarre golf tradition of buying everyone drinks when you get a hole-in-one.23:46 – “The Bench Legacy”: Pete’s dream of having his name immortalised on the golf course.26:10 – Abbey and Pete discuss fashion fails and why confidence beats trends every time.35:20 – Abbey gives a pep talk to a listener stuck in a wardrobe rut — “Tell yourself you’re sensational!”39:18 – Listener dilemma: discovering a friend has been replying to messages using ChatGPT.45:00 – A touching letter from a stepmum losing connection with her grown-up stepkids — Abbey gets emotional.Email: [email protected] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcastTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ For more from Peterhttps://twitter.com/petercrouchFor more from Abbeyhttps://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancyOur clips channelhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  • Is He Hiding You? The Truth About Soft Launching in Relationships & Chat GPT’s Dirty Talk Test…
    On this week’s The Therapy Crouch, it’s an Ask Me Anything special — and things get juicy fast. Abbey and Peter dive headfirst into your burning relationship dilemmas and personal confessions. From how to tell the difference between playful teasing and emotional sabotage, to tackling the awkward art of dirty talk, no topic is off-limits. Abbey opens up about the trauma of post-pregnancy hair loss and how she got her confidence — and her locks — back, while Pete gives a surprisingly wholesome take on Christmas food tastings, banister indecision, and why opposites really do attract.It’s equal parts hilarious, honest, and heartfelt — the perfect pre-holiday dose of Therapy Crouch chaos.(Note: this episode was recorded before Pete & Abbey’s trip to Portugal!)00:00 – Abbey’s cookie chaos & festive food tasting at M&S00:03:20 – Abbey’s Christmas shopping panic and banister meltdown00:04:20 – Listener dilemma: When banter crosses the line00:06:25 – Hilarious “miniature donkey” moment00:10:10 – The Batman chin debate & couple impressions00:10:18 – Listener dilemma: Postpartum hair loss & Abbey’s honest experience00:14:39 – The “Dirty Talk GCSE Drama Exam” confession00:17:09 – Dirty talk attempt gone wrong00:20:10 – The “soft launching” dilemma—Is he hiding me?00:23:29 – Do opposites really attract? Abbey & Peter’s candid take00:25:05 – Relationship values vs. personality clashes00:26:09 – Final reflections: finding balance and saying goodnightEmail: [email protected] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcastTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ For more from Peterhttps://twitter.com/petercrouchFor more from Abbeyhttps://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancyOur clips channelhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  • “That’s Made Me Quite Emotional Actually…” – This Listener’s Message Really Hit Home For Pete
    On this week’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are soaking up the sun as the gang records from Portugal. Between tales of hangovers, gym disasters, and brutal Hyrox sessions, Abbey’s quick wit and Peter’s self-deprecating humour are in full flow.From the chaos of Brits abroad to parenting dilemmas, decathlon obsessions, and an emotional listener email about body confidence, it’s the perfect mix of laughs, reflection, and holiday chaos.Expect brutally honest advice on pushy parenting, hilarious household spats about bins and ladders, and the usual marital mayhem that makes The Therapy Crouch the most relatable therapy session on the internet.00:00:25 – Abbey and Pete welcome listeners from sunny Portugal00:01:43 – Abbey reveals how their “no drinking” plan spectacularly fell apart on night one.00:02:18 – Pete boasts about smashing his Hyrox workout — before pulling his calf moments later.00:05:01 – Pete limping out of the gym “like Saving Private Ryan.”00:07:24 – Pete gives Abbey his “Weekly Shine” for their stress-free airport run.00:10:17 – “It’s Brits abroad — we can’t help ourselves.”00:13:17 – Pete’s obsession with Decathlon, calling it “heaven for adults.”00:18:43 – Emotional listener email: a young boy nicknamed “Peter Crouch” learns to embrace his height.00:25:07 – The great “Air Fryer Obsession”00:27:09 – A listener’s boyfriend leaves one sip of milk in the fridge00:31:00 – Abbey dreams of ditching society to live in a cottage with 12 dogs.00:42:00 – Agony Abs turns deep: a listener torn between two relationships sparks heated advice from all three.Email: [email protected] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcastTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ For more from Peterhttps://twitter.com/petercrouchFor more from Abbeyhttps://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancyOur clips channelhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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  • Halloween Neighbour Wars, Signs From the Afterlife & Should Kids Trick-or-Treat Alone?
    On this week’s Halloween Ask Me Anything episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter embrace spooky season with a cauldron full of listener dilemmas. From neighbourhood turf wars over Halloween decorations and the “right” kind of sweets to parents debating whether trick-or-treating counts as “modern begging,” no question is too ghostly or gory.Abbey shares an emotional story about signs from the afterlife, while Peter reflects on mischief nights, Ibiza party memories, and an eternal battle with teacakes. Together, they tackle debates on sexy zombie costumes, haunted neighbours, and how to survive Halloween as parents (and as a couple).Expect laughs, nostalgia, chaos, and the occasional existential chat about spirits — the ghostly kind and the fizzy pink kind.00:00 – Abbey and Peter open the Halloween special01:00 – Mischief Night explained: egging, toilet paper, chaos02:30 – Ibiza neighbour drama and Peter’s “rave at night, zen by day” rant04:10 – Would you go all-out or tone down Halloween for grumpy neighbours?08:00 – The infamous “worm in Pasha” story09:15 – Abbey’s emotional story about her late doctor and eerily timed message12:20 – The “Trick-or-Treating is Begging” debate14:00 – Abbey and Pete’s scariest parenting memories16:00 – Why community street parties are secretly brilliant20:00 – The “Sexy Zombie Cheerleader” dilemma25:00 – Should you let your 12-year-old go trick-or-treating alone?27:30 – Abbey’s Dracula hot chocolate moment and the outroEmail: [email protected] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcastTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ For more from Peterhttps://twitter.com/petercrouchFor more from Abbeyhttps://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancyOur clips channelhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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About The Therapy Crouch

Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships. Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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