167 episodes
- Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline
Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.
Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.
Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:
theuselesshotlinepodcast@gmail.com
OR
Send a voice note to our Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
You can also listen here:
Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl
Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?
Tiktok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1
Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Hosts Socials:
Max’s YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@max_balegde
George’s YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke
Max’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1
George’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1
Max’s Instagram:
https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
George’s Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/
George’s Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Clarke13George
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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. How Would GEORGE CLARKE & MAX BALAGDE Spend £200M: Mukbangs, Moats and a 'Social Battery'
24/04/2026 | 46 mins.Description: This week, we’re joined by TikTok & Youtube sensations - the hosts of The Useless Hotline podcast - George Clarke and Max Balegde!
So listen in as the duo dives into all the wildly unhinged ways they’d spend a £200,000,000 EuroMillions jackpot. From a time-traveling mukbang to cancel Henry VIII, to a spiteful loft conversion built solely to annoy Max with loud Pasodoble dancing, to the ultimate morning routine on the 10-minute “cleaner coaster”
Subscribe and follow for new episodes every Friday!!!
Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/ycyfv2fc
On Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4ths7ned
On TikTok: https://tinyurl.com/4d9k5457
On Instagram: https://tinyurl.com/ykumd329
On YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/yxyruujd
Brought to you by EuroMillions from The National Lottery and Acast Creative ✨
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.- Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline
Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.
Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.
Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:
theuselesshotlinepodcast@gmail.com
OR
Send a voice note to our Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
You can also listen here:
Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl
Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?
Tiktok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1
Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Hosts Socials:
Max’s YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@max_balegde
George’s YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke
Max’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1
George’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1
Max’s Instagram:
https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
George’s Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/
George’s Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Clarke13George
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. - Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline
Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.
Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.
Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:
theuselesshotlinepodcast@gmail.com
OR
Send a voice note to our Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
You can also listen here:
Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl
Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?
Tiktok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1
Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Hosts Socials:
Max’s YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@max_balegde
George’s YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke
Max’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1
George’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1
Max’s Instagram:
https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
George’s Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/
George’s Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Clarke13George
00:00 - Feeling like a mushy yogurt: opening reflections
00:12 - Tour update: halfway through Australia, Brisbane rooftop recording
00:40 - Aussie sounds: sirens, busy streets, and Melbourne-Melbourne crossover
01:30 - Youthful adventures: scooter rides in rain and birthdays in Auckland
02:50 - Wild Auckland stories: street fights, blood pools, and chaotic brawls
04:02 - New Zealand’s unique culture and stunning landscapes
05:10 - Sydney arrival: heat, traffic, and city impressions
06:45 - Australian food obsessions: yogurt, snacks, and food scene comparisons
07:55 - Meeting Robert Irwin: zoo visits, celebrity stories, and family legacy
09:20 - The passionate Irwin family and Steve Irwin’s legacy
10:50 - Fans, meet and greets, and the magnetic energy of live shows
12:30 - Funny stories of exotic encounters and local characters
13:45 - Reflections on the journey and plans to return to these incredible countries
15:00 - Wrapping up: gratitude for fans, upcoming shows, and future adventures
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. The Boys Reflect On Final UK Tour Show, George Talks Japan Trip and Australia Tour NEWS!
15/03/2026 | 49 mins.Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline
Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.
Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.
Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:
theuselesshotlinepodcast@gmail.com
OR
Send a voice note to our Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
You can also listen here:
Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl
Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?
Tiktok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1
Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Hosts Socials:
Max’s YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@max_balegde
George’s YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke
Max’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1
George’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1
Max’s Instagram:
https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
George’s Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/
George’s Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Clarke13George
Timestamps
00:00 - Introduction: Getting in the dark at Hobbiton and tour prep chaos
06:09 - Hobbiton vs. the Hobbits: Clearing up the Lord of the Rings lore
10:10 - Australia tour: Tickets, dates, and how to join the fun in Sydney, Melbourne, and more
15:01 - The UK tour highlights: dance routines, technical challenges, and character costumes
16:22 - Rehearsal stories: Spontaneous dance numbers, stage mishaps, and improvisation
19:08 - The chaos of stage blackouts and find-my-microphone moments
20:21 - Entertainment: Irish jigs, Miss Piggy costumes, and audience reactions
24:52 - Funny on-stage confessions and risqué moments, including Andrew’s comedy bits
26:20 - Travel tales from Japan and new adventures planned, including Disney and Pokémon
34:26 - Marathon journey: training snippets, race stories, unexpected injuries
40:10 - Theme parks: Queue horror stories, ride experiences, and comparisons across Japan and Florida
45:54 - The magic of Disney: Hidden details, park secrets, and fan dedication
50:00 - Final tour call-to-action: Tickets, gratitude, and upcoming shows
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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About The Useless Hotline
Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:theuselesshotlinepodcast@gmail.comOR Send a voice note to our Instagram:https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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