Adoption: The Making of Me. An Oral History of Adoptee Stories

Elle is a baby-scoop-era domestic adoptee born in NYC in May of 1969. She was adopted 2 months later into what was supposed to be a stable, religious family. For as long as she could remember, she was aware that both she and her older brother were adopted, but the details ended there. It was understood that questions were not welcome regarding the story of their adoptions. 

Growing up, Elle always knew she was radically different from her adoptive family, both physically and in personality and character. With violence and dysfunction in the home, ceasing somewhat when her adoptive father left the family when she was in grade school, she could never understand why people would say, “You should be grateful”. 

This tumultuous upbringing and lack of familial connection fueled her years-long search for identity and her birth family. Encountering many twists and turns along the way as well as some heartache and joy, Elle was able to meet with some biological family members while being repeatedly rejected by others, a situation that continues to this day. 

In a story that spans over 30 years, Elle was able to get most of the answers she was looking for and a small bit of closure. “Coming out of the fog” has allowed her to find healing and to assist others by sharing her story and lived experience. She is currently living in New York and working on a memoir, tentatively titled “Adopted AF – Confessions of a Mad Ungrateful Adoptee.”

Elle on YouTube

Season 12 Book: The Adoption Paradox by Jean Kelly Widner

Eventbrite Link: Live Podcast Event in Minneapolis, MN, Sept. 11th-13th

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Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, September 26th at 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

Adoptees Connect

Adoptee Mentoring Society

Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted

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Mishelle: The name on her birth certificate was Baby Girl Powers. A name that meant nothing at the time—just a placeholder. But the powers she gained through adoption—the ones she had to build to survive everything that followed—became very real.

For years, she carried that strength without understanding its source. Strong, resilient… and still disconnected. Still alone.

It wasn’t until The Making of Me that something shifted. There, in the stories of others, she began to see it clearly—the origin of her strength, hidden in plain sight for decades. Through this community, through these shared stories, she didn’t just understand her power— she finally harnessed it.

Mischelle on YouTube

Season 12 Book: The Adoption Paradox by Jean Kelly Widner

Eventbrite Link: Live Podcast Event in Minneapolis, MN, Sept. 11th-13th: Bring a spouse, friend, or ally to the event for free. Just let us know @themakingofmepodcast@gmail.com

Sign up to be part of our mailing list!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, August 8th at 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

Adoptees Connect

Adoptee Mentoring Society

Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Diane, an accomplished artist who has created work for most of her life in the San Francisco Bay Area, was adopted in 1964 by a couple who thought they were unable to have children. 8 months later, her brother, a biological child, was born. Diane’s parents told her when she was 4 years old that she was adopted. She was curious about her birth parents, yet it was the one subject in the family that could never be discussed. As a result, Diane developed an avid practice of searching the drawers and cupboards in her family’s house, looking for information. Later, in the 1990s, she worked in secret with the Adoptees Liberty Movement Association, discovering, after years of research, the name of her birth mother, only to learn that she had died a decade before. Diane did find an aunt, a younger half-sister, and many of her mother’s friends, who together drew a picture of her mother.

When genetic genealogy became a viable tool, Diane, through extensive research, was able to find her father, whom she met in New York City five years later. He did not know he had a child, and in the years that followed, until his death at age 89, they became close – talking on the phone every few weeks, visiting a few times a year, and traveling to his homeland, Estonia, together. There, Diane saw where he was born and met members of her extended family. 

Through her investigation and the relationships that grew from it, Diane learned that she is the biological child of two artists who grew up in a family of doctors and businesspeople. Knowing nothing of her origins, she became an artist herself, and now makes paintings and sculpture rooted in her adoption experience. Her most recent paintings are shimmering data-driven visualizations of how her DNA connects with that of her parents and her sister. The sculptural and wall works she has been making over the past couple of years are based on her long-ago searches through the drawers of her family house for information relating to her origins. As a means of articulating and expressing her experience as an adoptee, Diane has been drawn to atypical materials, such as unconventionally marbled paper and ostrich skin, to speak about the adoptee experience, which she employs in the sculptures and wall works that explore what happens when the secrets are gone, and the drawers stand open.

Diane on YouTube

Season 12 Book: The Adoption Paradox by Jean Kelly Widner

Eventbrite Link: Live Podcast Event in Minneapolis, MN, Sept. 11th-13th

Sign up to be part of our mailing list!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, August 8th at 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

Adoptees Connect

Adoptee Mentoring Society

Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Adrian Burks is a filmmaker, writer, director, producer, and recovery professional with more than 15 years of experience telling authentic, human-centered stories. He began his career as an actor before transitioning into directing and producing films that explore identity, resilience, healing, and the human experience.

As a domestic adoptee who spent time in the foster care system, Adrian found strength and purpose through sports, which became both an outlet and a form of therapy during his childhood. Later, filmmaking became another powerful way to process his experiences, express his creativity, and give voice to stories that inspire hope and connection.

Today, Adrian combines his passion for storytelling with his work in recovery, helping individuals—including mobility and paralysis patients—improve their mobility, confidence, and overall quality of life as they rebuild their independence. He is also currently pursuing a degree in Physical Therapist Assistant studies, furthering his commitment to helping people heal through movement, rehabilitation, and compassionate care.

Whether behind the camera or working one-on-one with clients, Adrian’s mission is the same: to help people discover resilience, find hope, and realize that healing—both physical and emotional—is possible.

Adrian on YouTube

Season 12 Book: The Adoption Paradox by Jean Kelly Widner

Eventbrite Link: Live Podcast Event in Minneapolis, MN, Sept. 11th-13th

Sign up to be part of our mailing list!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, August 8th at 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

Adoptees Connect

Adoptee Mentoring Society

Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Christy Gilvear is the creator of The Rooted Petal, a plant-centered brand where she shares the connection between houseplants, healing, and personal transformation. Through storytelling, plant care, and everyday moments in her indoor jungle, Christy invites people to slow down and reconnect with themselves and the natural world. Christy’s work is deeply shaped by her experience as an adoptee and her personal journey of identity, belonging, and healing. During a period of deep self-reflection, she began practicing yoga and meditation and slowly filled her home with houseplants. Part of that journey was recreating the feeling of Brazil, where she spent her teenage years and experienced a deep sense of belonging. Surrounding herself with plants and memories of that time became a way to bring that environment home and helped her regulate her nervous system and reconnect with herself. A Citizen Potawatomi Nation member, Christy honors the understanding that plants are not simply decor but living relatives that exist in relationship with us. This perspective shapes the philosophy she shares with her community, often expressed through the phrase, “We water them, and they water us.” Through The Rooted Petal, Christy shares plant care, hosts workshops and community events, and creates custom plant arrangements that bring living beauty into people’s homes and spaces. Her work blends practical plant knowledge with deeper reflections on healing, connection, and the quiet wisdom the natural world offers. Christy lives in Utah with her family, where her home has become a lush plant sanctuary she shares with a growing global community of plant lovers, inviting others to discover how caring for plants can also be a path back to themselves.

Christy on YouTube
Season 12 Book: The Adoption Paradox by Jean Kelly Widner

Eventbrite Link: Live Podcast Event in Minneapolis, MN, Sept. 11th-13th

Sign up to be part of our mailing list!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, August 8th at 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

Adoptees Connect

Adoptee Mentoring Society

Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.