Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.
This is a second question from a listener named Tabitha who adopted a baby boy last year. Tho the adoption looked like it might be at least semi-open, it's effectively closed for now because the baby's birth mom is no longer communicating even with the agency. 
Question: All our training spoke to the benefits of open adoption. We also know (our baby) has two older siblings living with grandparents. There is also a toddler-aged sibling who was adopted. Like us, first mom is in her early 40s, so she’s got life experience. How do we handle questions that arise when baby G is older, with so little info? We seem to be a rarity in this day and age, with a closed adoption not of our choosing. I definitely respect mom’s choices, but I know questions will pop up on our little one’s end down the road.
Resources:
Strategies for Maintaining Sibling Connections
Helping Siblings Separated by Adoption or Foster Care - Weekend Wisdom
Handling Social Media & Birth Family Contact with Your Adopted, Foster, or Kinship Kids
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.
Is the idea of attachment parenting new to you and your family? Or could you use a refresher on what secure attachment is and why it matters? Listen to this conversation with Samantha Farris, LMSW, from the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development. She's helping us understand the basics of building secure attachment between parent and child to strengthen our families.
In this episode, we talk about:
How would you describe attachment in the simplest, most hopeful way for a caregiver who’s new to the idea of parent/child attachment? Or who may feel overwhelmed by what they’ve heard and are unsure where to start or start over?
Can you walk us through an overview of the attachment cycle and how it typically develops in infancy and early childhood?
What are some everyday signs caregivers would see that indicate a secure attachment is developing? (even if it’s not “perfect”)
Why does attachment matter so much — not just in childhood, but across a person’s lifespan?
What happens in the brain or nervous system when a child feels securely connected versus chronically disconnected?
How does adding the practice of being “trauma-informed” change a parent or caregiver’s approach to forging that connection with their adopted or foster child?
What are the types of experiences or stressors that kids in our (adoptive, foster, relative caregiving) community may interrupt the natural flow of attachment development?
What are the different attachment profiles or styles, in addition to secure attachment?
What are three common signs that a child might be struggling with attachment?
How might attachment challenges show up differently in toddlers vs school-age children vs. teens?
When a child comes with a history of instability, what helps establish a sense of safety and a foundation of trust? 
What are three things newly adoptive or foster parents can do to nurture attachment in the early days of meeting or welcoming a child home?
When a child needs professional help for attachment challenges, what kinds of therapy or supports have you seen be most healing?
If a parent feels disconnected, what are two things they can do starting today to begin building attachment?
What is one piece of advice you’d give to a brand-new parent or caregiver who has never had to think intentionally about forming attachment before listening to this?
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.
Question: When you are preparing your taxes and working out how to maximize this credit and get that $5,000 back, you might find that you want a tax professional to guide you through the filing process. How do you find a qualified, reputable tax specialist who can handle your claim?
Resources:
Finding a Tax Specialist to File Your Adoption Tax Credit Claim
The 2025 Adoption Tax Credit (podcast)
What Documents Do I Need to File for the Adoption Tax Credit - Weekend Wisdom
Adoption Tax Credit - Resource Guide
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.
Should you consider adopting or fostering a child who is older than a child already in your family? Are there things you can do to make it easier for all the children? We talk to Elizabeth Bohlken, Director of Education and Support at Children's Home Society and Lutheran Social Services of Minnesota, to talk about the preparation, joys, and challenges of disrupting birth order.
In this episode:
What is disrupting birth order?
Why is this a topic that prospective adoptive or foster parents should educate themselves about?
When combining children by birth and adoption, is it better for the adopted child to be the eldest, the youngest, or in the middle?
Is there an age gap that is most recommended or best practice between children when disrupting birth order?
Are there similarities between families that have a blend of children by adoption and birth, and families with blended children from divorce and remarriage?
How much does age really matter?At what age is a child least affected by having their birth order disrupted?
At what age is a child most affected?
Is it best to disrupt the birth order of the eldest or the youngest in a family?

How should parents handle a situation where the newly adopted child is older in age but younger on an emotional or behavioral level?
What steps can prospective adoptive or foster parents take to prepare children already in the home for the adoption of a sibling, especially an older child?
What type of sleeping arrangements should parents use in the first couple of months at home when they are adopting a child who is older than their other children?
What types of behaviors might a parent or caregiver see in the early stages of this new dynamic?
Why is sibling rivalry a common outcome of disrupting birth order?How to handle physically aggressive behavior between children?

Practical tips to ease the transition for all the children in the family.
Parenting mentalities/techniques to help a family adjust to a disrupted birth order?
What is virtual or artificial twinning?
What should parents consider before adopting a child of a similar age (within about 9 months) to a child already in the family?
What are the warning signs that parents need to get help with an adoption that disrupts birth order or involves virtual twinning?
What type of therapies or therapists should families look for to support birth order changes or artificial twinning?
What should parents understand about the risk factors of sexual or physical abuse that a child may have experienced before being adopted or placed in this foster home?
Where and how do parents get help to support their family in the transitions of disrupting birth order?
Resources:
Sibling Relationships (Resource page)

Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.
Question: How do we handle an adoption that has been closed from the first mom’s end? We don’t even have a photo of her despite our request.
Our #1 Secret Tip for Navigating Open Adoption
5 Tips for Navigating Sticky Situations with Birth Parents
Who Holds the Power in Adoption: Birth Parents or Adoptive Parents?
Where is Mommy? Helping Kids Cope with Absent Parents
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building