Family Brand: Take Back Your Family

Welcome back to the podcast! With summer officially here, we've found ourselves having a lot of conversations about something that many parents seem to be wrestling with right now: how do you raise hardworking, capable, confident kids without accidentally raising entitled ones? We're not coming to this conversation as experts who have it all figured out. In fact, we're right in the middle of it ourselves. As our kids get older, we're constantly asking questions about responsibility, work, money, freedom, and what it looks like to prepare them for adulthood.
One thing we've noticed is that almost every parent we talk to is carrying some version of the same concern. Are we teaching our kids enough? Have we given them too much? Are they ready for the real world? Recently we found ourselves in conversations with other parents who were expressing many of the exact same fears. And honestly, it was reassuring. It reminded us that most parents care deeply about raising great kids and are doing the best they can while trying to navigate challenges that previous generations didn't necessarily face in the same way.
A big part of this discussion comes back to the relationship between responsibility and opportunity. We've been thinking a lot about what we pay for, what our kids pay for, and how to create clear expectations around things like cars, phones, spending money, and privileges. Not because we want to make life harder for our kids, but because we've seen how powerful it is when people earn something for themselves. There's a confidence that comes from contributing, working, sacrificing, and learning that freedom is often connected to responsibility. The goal isn't to create struggle for the sake of struggle. It's to help our kids discover that they're capable of doing hard things and creating opportunities for themselves.
Another idea we've been discussing is the difference between entitlement and empowerment. We recently came across a perspective that challenged us to think differently about how families support the next generation. It raised questions about family businesses, shared resources, multigenerational living, and what intentional support could look like as children become adults. We don't have all the answers, but we do think it's worth asking the question: what kind of future are we intentionally designing for our family instead of simply drifting into?
At the end of the day, this episode isn't really about summer jobs, cell phones, curfews, or snacks. It's about intentionality. It's about deciding what values matter most to your family and then creating systems that reinforce those values. Whether your kids are five, fifteen, or twenty-five, one of the greatest gifts we can give them is the opportunity to become capable, confident, and responsible adults. And sometimes that starts by asking a simple question: are we creating conditions that help them rise—or conditions that make growth optional?
 
LINKS:
 
All Links Family Brand! 
stan.store/familybrand
familybrand.com/quiz
familybrand.com/retreats. 
 
Episode Minute By Minute:
00:00 – Summer is here: parenting conversations we're having
02:00 – Are we accidentally raising entitled kids?
03:30 – The parenting dilemma: provide more or require more?
05:00 – Why parents worry as kids become teenagers
06:00 – Encouraging feedback from other adults about our kids
07:30 – Revisiting expectations around money and responsibility
09:00 – Why every family needs a clear philosophy
10:00 – When expectations are low, performance follows
11:00 – A story about earning phones, cars, and spending money
13:00 – Necessity creates action and confidence
14:00 – The hidden cost of over-providing
15:30 – A different perspective on supporting adult children
18:00 – Designing your family's future intentionally
20:00 – Family businesses, family compounds, and family vision
21:30 – Freedom and autonomy must be earned
23:00 – Real-life examples: cars, curfews, and cell phones
25:00 – Teaching kids the connection between effort and freedom
26:00 – Final thoughts on raising future leaders and capable adults

Welcome back to the podcast! Today's episode is a little different and honestly really special to me. I'm sitting down with my youngest brother, Taylor, for a conversation I've wanted to have for a long time. I'm the oldest of nine kids, Taylor is the youngest, and after my daughter Indy randomly asked me why Taylor had never been on the podcast, I realized this was finally the perfect time to record it.
Recently there's been a lot of conversation online around large families, especially after influencer Hannah Neeleman announced the birth of her ninth child. And watching the reactions was fascinating because people seemed split into a few camps: admiration, criticism, and curiosity. Some people thought it looked beautiful. Others questioned whether it was realistic or healthy. And then there were people who were simply fascinated asking, what is it actually like growing up in a family that big? It made me realize—we actually have a pretty unique perspective on that conversation.
One of my favorite parts of this episode was reading a paper I wrote as a teenager when my parents announced they were having their ninth baby… Taylor. And to be honest, my initial reaction wasn't exactly excitement. I remember worrying about the comments people made about our family, feeling overwhelmed by the idea of "one more," and wondering how our family could possibly stretch any further. But then I read the ending of the paper, written after Taylor was born, where I admitted something completely different: that our family felt more complete because of him. Reading it back now was hilarious, emotional, and honestly a reminder of how perspective changes over time.
Taylor shares what it was actually like growing up as the youngest of nine, and one thing I loved hearing was that what looked "crazy" from the outside just felt normal to him. He talks about how much he loved always having people around, growing up close to nieces and nephews because of our age gaps, and now becoming genuine friends with our siblings as adults. We also talked about how closeness in families doesn't just happen automatically—it comes from prioritizing each other, staying connected, and intentionally creating time together.
More than anything, this episode left me feeling deeply grateful. Grateful for siblings, for cousins, for the relationships that continue long after childhood, and especially for my parents. As we talked, I found myself reflecting on how much they gave to create the life we had. And maybe the biggest takeaway from this conversation is this: family life may not always look efficient or easy from the outside, but the relationships built inside of it can become some of the greatest gifts of your entire life.
LINKS:
All Links Family Brand! 
stan.store/familybrand
familybrand.com/quiz
familybrand.com/retreats. 
 
Episode Minute By Minute:
00:00 – Introducing Taylor + why this episode happened
02:00 – Melissa and Taylor's 17-year age gap
04:00 – The online debate around large families
06:00 – Melissa reads the paper she wrote about baby #9
09:00 – "He makes our family complete"
10:00 – What it was like being the youngest of nine
12:00 – Did the older siblings resent babysitting?
13:00 – The lasting effects of having a big family
14:00 – Becoming friends with siblings as adults
15:00 – The "ingredients" that create sibling closeness
17:00 – Melissa's sisters trip to Paris
19:00 – Challenges of growing up in a large family
20:00 – How their mom raised nine kids with one arm
22:00 – "Shoutout to moms everywhere"
23:00 – Final reflections on family, siblings, and gratitude

Welcome back to the podcast! Today's conversation is one I've been looking forward to for a long time. I'm sitting down with bestselling author Bruce Feiler to talk about families, transitions, rituals, and the stories that shape us. I first came across Bruce's work years ago through his article The Stories That Bind Us, and it completely changed the way I thought about family culture and the role our stories play in our kids' lives.
One of the things Bruce shares in this conversation is that strong families aren't strong because they avoid hardship—they're strong because they know how to navigate it together. He talks about research showing that children who know more about their family history tend to have greater resilience and emotional well-being. Not because they think their family is perfect, but because they understand that every family goes through challenges, setbacks, loss, growth, and reinvention. I loved this reminder that one of the best things we can do for our kids is tell the truth about our stories in age-appropriate ways. Not hiding the hard parts, but helping them see that difficult seasons are part of life—and that people can make it through them.
We also spent a lot of time talking about rituals, which is the focus of Bruce's new book, A Time to Gather. Before this conversation, I think I mostly associated rituals with formal traditions or religious ceremonies. But Bruce reframed it in such a practical and meaningful way. He describes rituals as shared acts that help people feel connected and grounded during moments of change. And honestly, the more we talked, the more I realized how much families need this right now. In a world that moves fast and constantly pulls us in different directions, rituals create space to pause, gather, reflect, and reconnect.
One of my favorite moments in the episode was when Bruce helped me think through creating a meaningful graduation ritual for my oldest son. As we talked about him preparing to leave home, I found myself emotional realizing that this season really is the end of a chapter for our family. And instead of just letting that moment pass by, Bruce showed how intentional gatherings and small symbolic acts can help families honor transitions in a way that feels memorable and grounding.
This conversation reminded me that families don't need to do everything perfectly to create meaningful connection. Sometimes the most powerful things are also the simplest: gathering around a table, telling stories, asking good questions, celebrating milestones, or creating intentional moments during seasons of change. More than anything, this episode feels like an invitation to slow down and create space for togetherness—because those moments are often the ones our families remember most.
LINKS:
All Links Family Brand! 
stan.store/familybrand
familybrand.com/quiz
familybrand.com/retreats. 
Links For This Episode:
Bruce's substack is at this link: https://brucefeiler.substack.com/
Most recent post about his upcoming book release and some other exciting announcements: https://brucefeiler.substack.com/p/its-time-to-gather-watch-me-on-cnn
A pre-order link for the book: https://greenlightbookstore.com/book/9780593656433
 
Episode Minute By Minute:
00:00 – Introducing Bruce Feiler and his work
02:00 – Bruce's journey from travel writer to family expert
04:00 – Why Bruce started studying families
06:00 – The modern challenges families face today
07:30 – Why parenting advice feels overwhelming
11:00 – The Stories That Bind Us explained
14:00 – Why family stories build resilient kids
16:00 – The "oscillating family narrative"
18:00 – Why kids need to hear about family struggles
19:00 – The importance of extended family and community
22:00 – Family mission statements and values
24:00 – Bruce shares his family mission statement
26:00 – How family values shape everyday decisions
28:00 – Introducing Bruce's new book: A Time to Gather
30:00 – What rituals actually are (and aren't)
32:00 – Why rituals are disappearing in modern culture
33:30 – The rise of reinvented family rituals
36:00 – How rituals help with loneliness and transition
38:00 – Bruce shares a story about grief and gathering
41:00 – Melissa workshops a graduation ritual for her son
48:00 – Why rituals don't need permission or perfection
50:00 – Bruce's three most important pieces of family advice
52:00 – "Family is not the most important thing—it's the only thing"

Welcome back to the podcast. Today we want to talk about something that we think almost every family can relate to—the pursuit of more. More money, more success, more stability, more opportunities, more experiences. And on the surface, none of those things are bad. But recently, we've both had some conversations and experiences that made us pause and ask a deeper question: what are we really pursuing—and why?
For most of our lives, we both felt this constant pull toward "more." And if we're honest, a lot of it came from the belief that the next milestone would finally be the thing that made us feel whole, fulfilled, or enough. Whether it was financial success, recognition, or even just a sense of stability, it felt like if we could just get there, everything would click. But what we've come to realize—and what we've seen in others—is that it often becomes an endless pursuit. You reach one level, and there's always another. And if the pursuit is rooted in comparison or trying to prove something, it can feel surprisingly empty.
What's been helpful for us is redefining what "more" actually means. Because more itself isn't the problem. In fact, when you look at the original meaning of the word, it wasn't about accumulation—it was about becoming greater. Growth. Expansion. And that shift has been really powerful. Instead of chasing more things, we've been asking: what would it look like to pursue more purpose, more fulfillment, more impact? And to do that from a place where we already believe we're enough—not from a place of trying to prove it.
We've also seen how this shows up in family life. It's not just about what we pursue individually—it's what we create for our kids. It's easy to get caught in the mindset of more activities, more opportunities, more experiences, thinking that's what will create a better life for them. But sometimes it just creates more noise, more pressure, and more overwhelm. And the truth is, with how much access we have today—technology, comparison, constant input—it's easier than ever to fall into that cycle without even realizing it.
For us, one of the most grounding questions has been this: what is all of this for? Not in a negative way, but as a way to realign. Are we building something that actually leads to a meaningful life? Are we pursuing more in a way that helps us become better, serve others, and live with purpose? Because at the end of the day, more isn't the enemy—but if we don't define it intentionally, it can quietly take us somewhere we never meant to go.

LINKS:
All Links Family Brand! 
stan.store/familybrand
familybrand.com/quiz
familybrand.com/retreats. 

Episode Minute By Minute:
00:00 – Intro + recent trips and conversations
01:30 – The "endless pursuit of more"
03:00 – Why more doesn't always lead to fulfillment
04:30 – Defining "more" in a meaningful way
06:00 – How life has changed over the last 100 years
07:30 – Why we're overwhelmed with options today
09:00 – The original meaning of "more" (growth vs accumulation)
10:30 – A personal story: rebuilding life and chasing more
12:00 – The shift: from building our kingdom to serving something bigger
13:30 – Asking: what is all of this for?
14:30 – Final takeaway: pursue becoming, not just having

Welcome back to the podcast! Today we're talking about something that we truly believe impacts every area of your life—your confidence. This conversation came from a recent event Chris spoke at, where the theme was connection, and it led to a powerful realization: before you can truly connect with others, you have to have confidence in yourself.
For a long time, Chris struggled with confidence in a way that might surprise people who see him today. There was a season where he didn't like himself, constantly compared himself to others, lived in regret and fear, and didn't keep commitments—even to himself. And looking back now, it's obvious why confidence was lacking. It wasn't random. It was the result of patterns, behaviors, and internal narratives that were being repeated daily.
One of the biggest shifts came from a simple but uncomfortable decision: taking 100% responsibility for everything in his life. That moment was both humbling and empowering. Because while it meant owning the things that weren't working, it also meant reclaiming the ability to change them. From there, it wasn't about "feeling confident"—it was about becoming someone who could be trusted. Keeping small commitments. Changing the way he spoke to himself. Focusing on serving others instead of being consumed by his own problems. Over time, those behaviors started to build something deeper—an identity.
That's really the key idea we want to share with you: confidence isn't a feeling—it's an identity. It's not something you either have or don't have. It's something you practice. And more than anything, it's something you earn. Every time you make a commitment and keep it, you reinforce the belief that you are someone who can be counted on. And that belief compounds over time in a really powerful way.
The reason this matters so much is because confidence isn't just for you. It directly impacts your ability to show up, serve others, and make a difference. When you believe in yourself, you're more willing to take risks, speak up, and share your gifts. And as parents, one of the most important things we can remember is this: our kids will learn far more from what they see than what we say. If we want them to be confident, the most powerful thing we can do is model it—by how we show up, how we speak to ourselves, and how we choose to live.
 
LINKS:
All Links Family Brand! 
stan.store/familybrand
familybrand.com/quiz
familybrand.com/retreats. 
 Episode Minute By Minute:
00:00 – Intro + exciting things coming soon
01:30 – Melissa shares the mastermind event experience
03:00 – Confidence before connection: the core idea
04:30 – Chris's personal struggle with confidence
06:00 – Why confidence is not a feeling
07:30 – The exercise: who do you have confidence in?
09:00 – Traits of people we trust and believe in
10:30 – Chris's lowest point and what was happening internally
12:30 – Taking 100% responsibility
14:00 – Becoming reliable and keeping commitments
15:30 – Controlling the internal narrative
17:00 – Serving others vs. focusing on yourself
18:30 – Identity vs. behavior: how confidence is built
20:00 – The "confidence hack": keep commitments to yourself
22:00 – Why confidence is not selfish
24:00 – Confidence allows you to serve more people
26:00 – Signs you are becoming more confident
28:00 – Helping your kids build confidence
29:30 – Model confidence, don't just teach it
31:00 – Family values and identity shaping
32:30 – Final takeaway: be confident and share your gifts