Fight for a Happy Life with Sensei Ando: Martial Arts for Everyday Life

Welcome to Episode #128 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “The Nuts and Bolts of Martial Arts.” Will your martial arts techniques hold up under pressure… or will your skills break apart and leave you lying in a pool of tears? Here’s the thing—it’s easy to get the BIG things right in the martial arts, but what about the SMALL things? You know…those little details that actually make or break your success? (Is it possible that you don’t even know some of those small things exist?) The devil is in the details, my friend. If you want to be effective on offense or defense, you have to look deeper and deeper into the mechanics of your art. Figuring out how all the nuts and bolts are put together takes time. It also requires asking questions, observing others, practicing, and experimenting. The good news is that if you keep an open mind and stay curious, you will slowly collect the subtleties and nuances that will lead you to your best chance at success. Join me for a discussion on how to solidify your martial arts training. To LISTEN to “The Nuts and Bolts of Martial Arts,” just hit play below. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify. To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! The Nuts and Bolts of Martial Arts Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to comment (or complain!), feel free to leave a message here or through my Contact Page. TRANSCRIPT Today on Fight for a Happy Life, The Nuts and Bolts of Martial Arts. Howdy, Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to episode number 128 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. It’s been a little while, it’s great to see you again. Today, I want to talk about the nuts and bolts of martial arts, the nuts and bolts of self-defense. And, no, I’m not talking about kicking someone in the nuts and bolts. I’m talking about your training, your techniques, your habits. Are the components of your training, the assembly of what you do, strong and solid, will they hold up under pressure, offensively, defensively, or will it all break apart? The reason I want to talk about this is because of an incident that occurred to me a few years ago now. You might notice that in the background of some of my older videos, there’s a big red wall and four black heavy bags hanging up. Now I will tell you that that project made me very proud of myself. I’m not a mechanical guy, but I figured out how to get those bags put up on that wall, so it was a big deal. With the help of another Sensei, we drilled those boards into the brick wall. I found some wall mounts. We installed those. I had custom bags made, black leather, specific weight, and they came out great. They looked wonderful. And we hung them up. Kids of all ages loved hitting them. I loved hitting them. Other teachers loved hitting them. Adult students loved hitting them. It was a big success. That is until a couple of weeks went by. In the middle of a class, I’ve got some kids running a relay race, and a precious little girl went running down one of the rows, and she kicked the bag, she turns around, she starts leaving, and to my horror, the bag detached and just fell. BOOM! Thankfully, she was not hit, but I was in shock. Shut down the drill, got the kids away from the bags, finished the class, and then afterward, had to come over and face my failure, grabbed a step stool, and got up and took a look at the mechanism. Just like most heavy bags, the bag had a carabiner on it, the carabiner attached to a metal ring, the ring was attached to the wall mount with a bolt and a nut. Somehow, the nut had worked its way to the end of the threading and fallen off and let the whole bag go. So I figured, being not a super mechanical guy, Oh, I just didn’t tighten them enough when I first installed them. So cranked, cranked, cranked as much as I could, made them as tight as I possibly could, and thought, there, done deal, we’re okay now. Nope, nope. Couple weeks later, the same thing happened. A bag fell off. Again, thankfully, no one got hurt. But this time, I was really upset because I couldn’t figure out the problem. I hate that. So this time, I figured, well, it’s taken about two weeks for this to happen. This just needs to be a regular maintenance task. When you come in for the day, check the bags and see where the nuts are and tighten them up every day. I guess it’s just a design flaw in the wall mounts. That’s what I thought. But of course, this was always a stress. If I’m sick or if I was working at a different location, I didn’t want to depend on everybody trying to always check for those things because there’s always something that falls through the cracks. And I didn’t want that to fall on someone and crack their head. So I happened to mention this problem to my brother, who is more mechanical minded and has some background in construction. And he didn’t think twice. He just said, Oh, you need a spring washer. What? A spring washer or a split lock washer. Different names. So all it is, it’s just like a regular washer, right? A little flat circle, but it’s got a cut in it and it’s got a little twist. So it looks like the first coil of a spring. Now, when you put that spring washer next to a nut, it pushes the nut and tilts it a little bit. So it creates some friction on the bolt. So now, when the bag is shaking and the mount is shaking, the nut doesn’t start spinning and moving down the threads. What? It’s that simple? A tiny little piece of metal? It didn’t even cost me a dollar to get four of them. Super cheap, super easy to install. And would you believe it? We never had that problem again. That simple. But what a lesson. You hear about how the devil is in the details. And boy, if this wasn’t a great example of that. All the money and time that I spent putting those bags up on that wall, all of the drilling and pounding and all to be undone by just this little omission of a spring washer. Of course, now I know. Engines and washers and dryers and blenders, all these things that vibrate and shake, have some type of anti-vibration technology in them. So, in case you didn’t know, now you know. But this brings the question back to my martial arts training. Because I realize how little it takes for your techniques to transform into something very successful or to fail completely. On the offensive side, you may have a really strong punch, but if the pressure’s a little off, your alignment’s a little off, you can break your wrist when you hit something, right? If you’re actually fighting with someone, these small adjustments in your footwork or your distance can make your punch completely miss. And of course, it works on the defensive side too. If somebody grabs you and you can shimmy or wiggle just so, you can get away. If you don’t, you’re getting caught. So these little tiny details, these nuances, the subtlety is really what makes or breaks your technique. So what about your technique? This is what we’re talking about. How would you judge your technique? I can tell you that when I work with kids, for instance, they get cocky really fast. They don’t seem to understand nuance in any way. And of course, how could they? The other day, I was working with a student and he’s been a little behind on earning his next belt. He just hasn’t been putting in the work and it shows. So after class, he was whining a little bit like, why can’t I be signed off? And I started a couple of little things I needed him to fix. Amongst them, very simple, when he makes a fist, his thumb is sticking out. And I said, look, you know, you’ve been here almost two years and this is not a secret that, you know, I want you to make a strong fist. I don’t want your thumb sticking out. And right in front of me, he fixed it. Okay. I said, good. I said, now open your hand, show me another fist. He made a fist. I said, good. Now that’s what I want to see. And he replied, Can I get my belt now? No appreciation for the time to build a habit. Of course, I said, Well, no. Now you have to come back and show me you can do that on your own, that you’ve done the work to make it automatic. I shouldn’t have to tell you this. So from a kid’s standpoint, there’s probably a large gap between hearing information, copying the information and actually embodying it, making it part of you. Of course, I hope that’s not part of my training. I presume there are some blind spots, things that I think I’ve got down, when actually there are some details that I’m probably missing.That’s the addiction to constantly seeking out new teachers and new videos and new practice, because there’s always some new little angle that I haven’t considered before. I presume the same is true for you. I think most students were all pretty good at the big stuff. You see a teacher throw a punch, a kick, do a takedown, do a submission, and you think, oh, I see what you just did there. And it’s only over time of years of going back to that technique, and it fails, and it fails if you’re honest with yourself, if you have honest training, where you’re forced to finally figure this out and say, how are you making this work, but I can’t? And I think that’s a wonderful process of these tiny little nuances. Just today, I was working with my own teacher. It was a private lesson. And we spent an hour and a half on the subtleties of gripping cloth and where the pressure in the fist is, and how to weaken it, and how to strengthen it, and what angles are the best for holding something. And that might sound like absolute geek nerd talk, but if you’re a real martial artist, you understand the importance of that kind of study. So, on the learning side of things, I hope that you never stop asking questions, you never stop observing other people performing the techniques that you want to perform, and I hope that you never stop experimenting in practice. Just keep that open mind. Don’t be like a child who sees it once or twice, does it once or twice, then just stops and says, yeah, I got it. It’s rampant. Adult students, I see that all the time. You show a technique, they do it once or twice, then they sit back and wait for something new to come up. They don’t want to drill it, they don’t want to repeat it. They just figure, yeah, I know that already, I got it. Fools. Let’s not be one of them. Now on the defensive side, you might find it interesting that back in the day, when I first started my martial arts training, of course I was quite taken with Bruce Lee, the Tao of Jeet Kune Do, and when I learned that that meant the art of the intercepting fist, I kept thinking about that word of intercepting. I thought that was interesting, how a technique, a punch might already be coming your way, a choke is already being set in, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be finished. There’s some wiggle room in there. There’s a gap in time. There may be a gap in distance or pressure that allows you to reverse it, escape it, which then should become the main point of your study. I don’t want to get punched. I don’t want to get locked up. So as I kept practicing with that idea in my head that you could intercept a technique, it occurred to me how easy it is to thwart or stop someone from finishing what they want to do. And I knew that for sure, not in a cocky way, but because I knew how hard it was for me to do it. I saw a hip throw very early on in my training, but in sparring, very hard to find a hip throw. Getting punched and kicked, trying to get close, get grips, get the angle to make that hip throw happen seemed impossible to me. So it became sort of my confidence, my shield, that if I could just thwart what you need, then there’s no way you can ever get me. So that meant my learning, I didn’t have to be great at throwing punches, I just needed to know how a punch is thrown, what you’re targeting, and then screw up your distance or screw up your angle and take that away from you. I don’t have to be great at judo throws, I just need to know what grips are you looking for, how close do you need to be, and how do I either break that grip or drop my weight or change my angle to take that throw away from you. So there was a couple years there where I thought if I ever named my own martial art, I would call it the art of the thwarting fist. Just a variation I guess on the intercepting fist idea, that there was always wiggle room to stop someone from hurting you. I would like to think that’s still true today. I think that strategy works great. This is kind of old school thinking when I first heard about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It wasn’t that you were trying to win or beat the other person. I just needed to stop them from beating me. That was another way to define a victory. I don’t need you to be bloody and unconscious. I just need to be able to go home and not be bloody or unconscious. So that type of thinking was definitely worth meditating on. Now, I do think there are situations where you need to end things and someone needs to be stopped definitively. I don’t think you can always run out the clock or wait for help. I don’t think that’s a great strategy. I think it should be an option in your training, but it can’t be the only option. You do need to know how to finish a fight. So that’s the only little extra bit of wisdom on that. So the bottom line here is that the devil is in the details. And whenever you think you know what you’re doing, back up a moment and take another look at it. Increase the pressure, increase the challenge. If no one person can beat you in sparring, then spar two people. If no two people can spar you successfully, then give them a knife in their hand. Keep increasing the pressure until you figure out where that little nut is slowly shaking off and then you fall apart. It’s better that you find those things out in your training than in the real world. And speaking of the real world, of course this thinking is going to apply to every part of your life. It’s always amazing to me how the little things make the biggest difference in every part of your life. You could have the greatest car, but if you’re not checking the air pressure in those tires, your braking is going to be off, your steering is going to be off, your gas mileage is going to be off. It’s a small thing, and yet it’s a huge thing. The way you treat your spouse or your partner, if you’re unkind, if you’re quick-tempered, if you’re impatient, if you can just stifle those things a little bit, it makes a big difference. How much time you make to exercise, how much time you make for self-care, how much time you can just add for a little recovery before you work out again, how you eat, when you eat, how much you eat. Every little thing you do adds up to this big, big result. And I just hope, as you get older, as I get older, we never stop looking for the little things. Especially as we get older and you have maybe less energy or less ambition. It’s nice to know that little things can still change your trajectory towards success. I know right now in my sparring or my wrestling, I don’t have to be faster and stronger all the time. Bigger guys, younger guys, trying to impose their will on me. I’m very happy to be in a place now where I know the power of small adjustments, of taking a little breath, of staying calm. All of these little things that when I was younger, I didn’t think made much of a difference. But taken together, a bunch of little things add up to one big thing. You’re 50 pounds heavier than I am. You’re 20 years younger than I am. But I make better decisions. I can feel more. I’m more sensitive. I’m more creative. I follow up sooner. I don’t freeze up as much. All of these little things add up to something that can equate to your muscular superiority. If you don’t believe that, I want you to believe that. Because otherwise, your training is going to always be depressing. If you’re still trying to kick and punch as hard and as high as you did in your 20s, and now you’re in your 50s or 60s, you’ll always be disappointed. Because you’re not working on the skills that can still be developed. If anything, they’re getting worse, right? That’s just nature. I’ve accepted that. I hope you have too. I’ve accepted the pain in my joints, arthritis. I’ve accepted some limitations and the stiffening up. I still work out, but the way I work out is to focus on the little things that allow me to handle weights a little bit better, that allow me to breathe a little bit smoother, that allow me to see a little bit more. And I’ve been very happy on that path. So I invite you to follow me or lead me or get alongside of me on that same path. The path of the details, the path of the little things. This is where the spring washer lives. This is where you fill the air in your tires. You wash the dishes right as you use them. You don’t let them pile up. You make those little investments in the equipment that you need to make your life and your jobs easier. It’s worth it. You’re worth it. So that’s all I wanted to get off my chest today. I’ll be back with a lot more later. But for now, keep learning, keep moving. Don’t be undone by some small oversight, by some small piece of information that you could have had, but you didn’t get, because you didn’t ask, you didn’t try, you didn’t see it. There’s so much that you can add to your repertoire. There’s so much that you can still add to your skill set. But only if you’re just humble enough to say, yeah, I don’t know everything. Yes, there’s so much more room for me to learn. Keep learning, keep moving, and that’s going to make you solid. That’s going to hold up under pressure. And that’s what’s going to lead to a happy life. Hey, if you’re still here, thanks for hanging out till the end. Let me know what you think down in the comments, or shoot me an email, or hey, we can always get together on Zoom sometime. That’d be cool. Until next time, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life. The post #128: The Nuts and Bolts of Martial Arts [Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #127 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Survival with Stephan Kesting.” You might know Stephan Kesting from his impressive work as an online BJJ instructor. You may also remember him from our first interview together back in episode #62. But he’s far more than just an internet hotshot. Stephan is also a professional firefighter, founder of Grapplearts.com, host of the Strenuous Life podcast, outdoor adventurer, and now—with the publication of Perseverance: Life and Death in the Subarctic—an author. In this interview, I talk to Stephan about his grueling experience taking a 1,000 mile canoe trip through the great white north… ALONE! Our conversation touches on crucial topics for living a happy life, such as: Setting priorities Grit Organization Time Management Solitude Meditation Oh—and did I mention that Stephan’s survival tips have also been challenged by family tragedies, a kidney transplant, and a hip replacement? Believe me, the tips shared in this episode are the key components for survival on the mats, online, on a river, or in a fire. If you’d like to read the full account of Stephan’s solo adventure in the wild, here’s my Amazon affiliate link to buy the book: Perseverance: Life and Death in the Subarctic. Of course, supporting your local bookstores is cool, too! To LISTEN to “Survival with Stephan Kesting,” just hit play below. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify. To WATCH the video version, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! Survival with Stephan Kesting Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to comment (or complain!), feel free to leave a message here or through my Contact Page. The post #127: Survival with Stephan Kesting [Video Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #126 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Blind Spots.” In case you didn’t notice, I’ve been wearing glasses for several years… but not anymore! I recently underwent eye surgery and am happy to report that I can now see better than ever! However, even with perfect vision, the fact is we can all have blind spots. We often see only what we WANT to see or only what we already know. Or maybe that’s just me? In this episode, I’d like to share what I’ve learned about vision and blind spots—both physical and psychological—and how they affect our success and happiness on the mats and off. To LISTEN to “Blind Spots,” just hit play below. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify. To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! Blind Spots in Martial Arts Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to comment (or complain!), feel free to leave a message here or through my Contact Page. TRANSCRIPT Howdy, Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. Today, if you’re watching the video, you might notice—no more glasses! That’s right, for the first show in maybe six years, I am not wearing glasses. That’s because I am one month out from having a vision correction surgery. I’d like to tell you what I did and more importantly, what I’ve learned about vision and blind spots. So, backing up, I was born and raised with perfect vision, 20/20. In fact, most of my life, I’ve had perfect vision. But then somewhere around the age of 47 or 48, I noticed, as is natural, that I was having trouble reading. And then a couple years later, I was having some trouble driving. I even failed the DMV test, which was really embarrassing for me. I’d never had something in print, on the license, saying, “restricted license, must wear eyeglasses”. That hurt. So, at first, of course, I accepted it. I realized this is normal, right? The eyes start to go as you get older. But it didn’t take long before I hated it. Absolutely hated it. If you wear glasses, I’m sure you’re aware of this. My glasses were always lost or I was breaking them. Had to buy new ones all the time. I was walking around with two pairs of glasses, one for reading and one for distance. And I was always switching in between the two. And if I’m trying to just duck down, do little fix-it projects, they’re always falling off my head. It just got to be a nightmare. I hated it. Now, of course, if you’ve been wearing glasses your whole life, you’re probably more patient and more accustomed to it. But I was weak. I admit I was weak. It really got to me. So, a couple years ago, I started looking into LASIK because I had some friends and they got tired of hearing me whine about my eyes. And they said, “Well, why don’t you just get LASIK?” At first, that actually frightened me. Lasers in the eyes—I’m old school, that seemed crazy. But then, three months ago, I finally got the guts to go see a doctor for LASIK. He sat me down and he said, “Hey man, listen—I could give you the LASIK, but at your age, what you should get is cataract surgery.” Do I have cataracts? No, I don’t have cataracts. But if you get this surgery, you never will. So it’s something called RLE, refractive lens exchange. And that was the promise: If you get this surgery, within 24 hours, you’ll be able to drive back for your first follow-up appointment, and you won’t need glasses again. You’ll have close vision, intermediate vision, and far vision. Sounded too good to be true. But I did it. So a month ago, had the surgery, and sure enough, 24 hours later, drove myself to the follow-up appointment. I don’t like necessarily using the word miracle, but it’s a miracle. I have not worn glasses now in a month, for reading or for driving. So, if you’re interested in this kind of procedure, hit me up on email or in the comments, I’m more than happy to share some information on it. If you’re living in Los Angeles, I’m happy to refer you to the doctor who took care of me. It was definitely worth it. What lessons have I taken from this experience? Well, number one, don’t take anything for granted. I absolutely took my eyes for granted. I took my vision for granted for many, many years. And that was a crutch because I relied on them too much. I think it’s natural that we’re wired as human beings to be very hands and eyes focused, especially nowadays when you have a device in your hands, and you’re texting all the time, and you’re driving, and you’re sitting at a computer, watching TV. It’s a lot of your eyes and your hands. Then you lose touch with the rest of your body. So, I feel that that is its own blind spot of a sort. Because you’re living in this tunnel. You’re so reliant on your eyes that you don’t feel around you, you don’t widen out your awareness, you just focus on what’s in your hands and what’s right in front of you. In short, if I can’t see it, it’s not there. That’s, to me, a blind spot. Now, you can talk about physical blind spots, which is what I’ve been doing, but worse were the psychological blind spots. Not only couldn’t I literally see the horizon physically, psychologically, I could not see the future. I couldn’t set clear goals for myself. I was asking myself, where are you going? Where do you think you’re going? And I couldn’t get a clear vision of it. It was as if my entire imagination was tied to my eyes. That might sound crazy, and that’s okay. That frustration at first, feeling boxed in and somewhat limited, eventually got depressing. And then I just tied it into just getting old in general. I thought, well, you’ve been dealing with arthritis for several years. My shoulders, my feet, I’ve talked about these things. I lose my voice very easily nowadays. Lower energy. In short, I’m dying. I’ve peaked and now I’m down that shady side of the hill, the cold side of that hill. And here we go. Now your eyes are going. You’re going blind. So it’s hard to wake up and be enthusiastic when you can’t see the future. Okay. It got worse. Am I being dramatic? Maybe. I’ll tell you when it got really bad. The lockdowns, the COVID lockdowns, were five years ago now. Almost exactly five years ago. And of course, during the lockdown—I live in a very small apartment— couldn’t go outside. Couldn’t go to work, right? At one point, couldn’t go to the parks. We had fires here in Los Angeles. Couldn’t go anywhere. So I was locked into a physical space, and then locked within the rims of my glasses or just blurred vision. And that was really suffocating. But it gets worse because during the lockdowns, since I lost my business, I moved to Raleigh, North Carolina. Now listen, there are nice people in Raleigh, a lot of positives about Raleigh, so I’m not bashing Raleigh. However, I live in Los Angeles, had been living in Los Angeles for decades, and it’s not Los Angeles. I’m used to sunshine. I’m used to mountains, vistas, ocean, wide expanses. There’s a freedom that comes with a large view. And in LA, that’s something else I just took for granted. When I got to Raleigh—have you been there? It’s quite the opposite. There are no mountains. It’s flat. It’s not sunny all the time. Clouds, rain, overcast. Trees. So many trees. I joked at some point, half-kiddingly, that it felt when you’re driving down these straight streets that—you couldn’t see the horizon, because they’re all curving around, flat land, just surrounded by trees. All you have are tree trunks, tree trunks, tree trunks, all around you. Which then felt like bars of a jail cell. So, I felt like I was in a jail cell with a ceiling of clouds inside the frames of my glasses and with humidity in Raleigh, also your glasses fog up often. So, talk about suffocating. I really felt like I was just being crammed into my coffin when I lived there. Couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. My freedom was just crushed. So, two years it took for my wife and I to decide, let’s go back to Los Angeles. I can’t breathe, I can’t move. And we did. And that brought some relief. Absolutely. Nurtured my soul. But I still felt limited. I still was right back to the original restrictions of I can’t see. So, that brings us to getting the surgery. I signed up. I showed up on time early, in fact. Got the surgery. And what’s funny is, the day after the surgery, my wife says to me, “It seems like you have more energy.” What? She said, “You know, it seems like you’re in a better mood.” She even said, “You know, you look a little bigger.” All of that was a shock. She was saying, “Hey, it’s the old Ando, the one from seven or eight years ago. Old Ando is back.” I was stunned, shocked, mostly because I thought I had learned this lesson. Not once, but many times. Several years ago, a doctor told me I was probably going to need a hip replacement. That was a downer, but I found a way to work around it, kept moving forward. With the arthritis, found a way around it. Herniated discs in my back, found a way around it. So I’ve always been optimistic and found ways to adapt. And these are the messages that I usually share with you. Because I’ve done these things. But for some reason, this one, I couldn’t get past. It was as if it was the first challenge in my life. The lesson there is that these things add up if you let them. We can all slide down that shady, cold slope, whichever one you find yourself on—whether it’s aging, whether it’s pain, whether it’s financial loss, relationship loss—we can all slide down into a pit of despair. But we must remember over and over, and I’m talking to myself too, those limitations are false. It’s like you are purposely covering one of your eyes and not seeing what else is available out there. What else can you do? So you can see when you feel limited, when you feel beaten down, you’ve got to differentiate between what is happening to you and what are you allowing to happen to you. Take another look. This is the big lesson. Take another look. You may not be as blind as you think. When you let one setback pull down the hole, then all is lost. What you need to do, what I need to do, is still see the possibilities of what you can gain, not focus on what you’ve lost. There’s always something else you can work on. There’s always another target to focus on. You can’t let the blind spot beat you down. What about in self-defense? The equivalency here would be, you’re in a fight, you get punched one time, and you give up. You just say, that’s all right. That’s enough for me. You win. Take what you want. You wouldn’t do that. Of course not. You wouldn’t teach that. Of course not. But sometimes that’s what happens. You lose some money on an investment, and then that’s it. You’re done investing. You’re done trying new things. It’s over. We can’t let this happen. Limitations in one area should not lead us to be limited in all areas. Don’t be partialized. Don’t be shrunken down. Don’t be limited. Always look for what’s next. What else is out there? Because there’s always something. Consider this… In a way, limitations—the things that life throws at you that you don’t want, things that are taken away from you—they’re helpful. Limitations are helpful in two ways. The first way is, it gives you a chance to switch your focus. Maybe you’re pursuing one goal, and for whatever reason, that goal gets taken away. Rather than stall out and then do nothing, you have to go in a different direction, if you want to keep moving. So that limitation closes one door and directs you to another door. If the other door that you originally were focused on wasn’t meant to be, for whatever reason, great, don’t take it personally. Take all that energy and enthusiasm, resources, and shoot them towards a new goal. So, limitations give you that opportunity. Switch to a more appropriate goal, something you can achieve. The other way that limitations can help you is that it can narrow your focus. Maybe it doesn’t change it, but you can narrow down on one aspect of what you’re doing and start specializing in it. That means go deeper instead of going wider. If you’re not great with kicks anymore because you had to have some type of knee surgery and you’re always going to be careful with that leg, okay, now you can go deeper in your hand techniques. Or maybe now you pick up a knife for the first time in your training, and you really start appreciating what a weapon can do to equalize a bad situation. Great. Your limitation led you to a specialty and a new power. We should be open to that. Now, of course, when we got close to the surgery, I wasn’t exactly that optimistic about limitations. I was still in a pretty dark place, I would say. And so I started to think, a couple of days before that surgery, when I realized, “Oh my god, they’re going to do what?” They’re going to cut into my eyeball, take out the lens, put in an artificial lens, and just fingers crossed hope that fixes things. I got a little nervous, so I started convincing myself, of exactly what I just told you, that maybe limitations are good for me. Maybe this is better this way, to have blurry vision. For instance, from a self-defense standpoint, what if you get punched in the nose, and your eyes water? Shouldn’t you be able to still operate when you can’t see clearly? Well, of course. What if you’re wearing a hoodie, and it gets pulled over your head? Shouldn’t you still be able to fight back? Well, of course. I don’t wear hoodies, but theoretically, absolutely, of course. Certainly, in wrestling and BJJ, early on, people were smothering me, grinding their chest in my face, or the gi—a wet gi—is hanging over your face, or they’re holding it over your face. So you have to get used to being smothered. All of that helped me to trust my body. The limitation of having blurred vision close up really helped my grappling quite a bit, helped my takedowns quite a bit, helped close-in fighting quite a bit. I had to learn to feel more because I could see less. I had to learn to trust my body more and not just my visual acuity. So those are positives. Maybe I don’t want to lose those. It also helped me slow down. When I had my perfect vision, I was pretty cocky. I could drive fast, I could run fast, make decisions quickly. When I couldn’t see very well, I had to slow down. It’s just a matter of survival. I didn’t want to kill anybody either. I had to be more careful. I was more purposeful, more deliberate. And that helped me not waste energy. So having the blurred vision, having these limitations, helped me change focus, narrow focus, helped me to feel more, trust my body more, trust my intuition more, and slowed me down so I didn’t waste energy, made me more deliberate in all my actions. So that’s a pretty good argument, huh? I don’t need that eye surgery after all. Nah! I went and got it anyway. I talked myself into it. I said, this is crazy, I can’t do this anymore. So I did get the surgery. My hope being that I can keep the positive benefits that I’ve learned these last few years with having blurred vision and move forward with the benefits of having clear vision. For me, self-defense, it’s a no-brainer. I like seeing who’s walking in the room, seeing where their hands are, seeing what they’re wearing. Any clue I can get to judge the safety of my situation. I like being able to see down the road, see who’s coming down this aisle. I like getting an early warning system of what’s in my environment. I like reading someone’s face in micro detail. I like reading micro expressions when possible. I need every clue I can get. I value perception. This is how I feel we all need to prevent danger by getting as much information from that environment as possible. So I feel very blessed that I met this doctor, that I had the resources to pay for this surgery, and that I’ve been healthy enough to heal from it. So far so good, no glasses. So it’s been a blessing, a miracle. Now, I’m going to give you a warning. Even though I have vision again, and they say it’s 20/12 vision now, instead of 20/20, which means my vision is better than it was before. I did not count on that. Even with so-called perfect vision, there is still a risk of having blind spots. For me, for you, for anybody. Blind spots occur for anyone, either when you’re only looking for what you want to see, or you’re only looking for things that will confirm what you already know. When you have those attitudes, you are missing out. You are blind. You are not seeing what you don’t want to see, and you are not seeing what you don’t know. That’s how extreme that is. I can’t live like that. So I am always going to ask myself now, what am I missing? What am I not seeing? What am I taking for granted here? What’s behind that door? What’s in the shadows? It’s funny just the way the brain works. I remember several years ago getting stuck in side control in BJJ. So I went on YouTube looking for answers, and I found a video from Carlos Machado, and I saw this technique that he performed. I thought, Oh, that’s a really cool technique. Got it in my brain. I saw it. My eyes saw it. Took it into the dojo. It kind of worked, kind of didn’t. Glad I tried it, but didn’t quite work for me. I’m blessed again, because a couple years later, Carlos Machado came to the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu School where I take classes. Rigan Machado’s Academy in Beverly Hills. It’s his brother. He happened to be there one day. He wasn’t on the mats. He was visiting for lunch. He had a sport jacket on, but I took the opportunity to walk over and say, “Excuse me, Professor, I saw this technique you did on YouTube. I just have a question about it because I can’t quite get it to work.” He’s such a nice guy. If you haven’t met the Machados, I find them all to be very nice guys. He actually took off his sport jacket and said, “Oh, here, let me show you.” He got on the mats with me and talked me through the technique. Even cooler, he said, “Well, this was in the video, but here’s what’s not in the video.” And he gave me a little extra. I was like, oh my god, this is fantastic. So a blessing. So excitedly, went back to class, and it definitely worked better. Oh boy, good, I got the secret sauce here. But there was still something missing. It wasn’t working all the time. And as an idealist, I wanted this to work all the time. A couple more years go by, and he ends up showing that technique on a separate video—ran across it. I was like, Oh, there’s that technique. And I had not noticed something about his leg work. The way he used his legs, I had not seen in the first video. And I had not noticed him doing when he showed me in person. I was blind to it the first time I saw it. I was blind to it when he did it to me. I was blind to discovering it when I was performing it and practicing it. It was only now, several years later, from when I’d first seen it, that it’s suddenly now made sense. And now it’s a much higher percentage move for me. But that’s one example of how even with perfect vision, even with a video reference, something I can watch in slow motion, even with someone showing me and talking me through it, helping me hand to hand—blind, blind, blind, not seeing it. So I have to go back through every lesson I’ve ever gotten. Everything I’ve ever heard or seen or felt from every teacher I’ve ever had and say, what didn’t I see? What was missing? Why isn’t this working as well as when they did it? These, I think, are healthy questions. Don’t presume that what you’re seeing is all there is to see. Don’t presume that what you know is all there is to know. I think there’s always more. And I think that’s good news. So the big point of today’s show: if you feel that you’ve lost something, if you feel somehow behind the curve, if you feel disabled, please, don’t give up hope on this. Don’t give up hope on your goals. You might have to switch them, but don’t give up on them. Focus on what you can do. There’s always something you can do. And even if you can’t, you should die with that attitude anyway. When someone gets you in a choke, if you have trained yourself to always think about, well, what do I have? What can I do? Then there’s always a chance of escape. There’s always a chance of survival. If you just accept the loss, you just accept the limitation, you just accept being blind, then there’s no choice. You lose. So don’t let that happen. Take your self-defense strategy of always seeing a possibility, of never giving up, of always fighting, and apply it to every other part of your life. Always give yourself a chance to fight for what you want. I think that’s the secret for achieving your goals and living a happy life. Well, they say that you teach what you need to learn. Believe me, my friend, I record these podcasts for you and for me. I hope that sharing my experiences either helps you or at least lets you know that you’re not alone. Until next time, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life. The post #126: Blind Spots in Martial Arts [Video Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #125 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Killer Instinct.” Speed, power, and flexibility are all important, yes… but here’s the truth– They’re not enough! When it comes to surviving a real-life attack (or even just winning a tournament), you need killer instinct! You need to release your full fighting spirit! But here’s the problem… Most of us are “too nice”. Even though the essence of martial arts is a study of death, most of us would rather not train in such an extreme mindset. Unfortunately, that is exactly what makes good people vulnerable! So, let’s take a stroll back into the jungle and see if we can rekindle some of our primal power… before we get eaten alive! To LISTEN to “Killer Instinct,” just hit play below. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Google Podcasts or Spotify. To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! How to Train Your Killer Instinct Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page. TRANSCRIPT Howdy! Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to episode #125 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. Yes, I’m back. After a six-month hiatus–I didn’t plan it, it just happened– I’m back. But I’m even more thrilled that you stopped by to say hello. So welcome back to you too. Let’s go! What’s that? Oh, the sweater. Do you like that? I’ll explain that in a minute. But let’s start off today’s show talking about frustration. My frustration. Years and years of frustration. Why? Because I kept getting beat. No matter how hard I trained, no matter how much I studied, I feel that I was losing to people who trained far less than I did. People who took it far less seriously than I did. And I would go to my teachers after class in the dark shadows. And I would confess this. I would say, Listen, I’m working really hard here, but I’m getting beat. Everybody’s beating me. New people are beating me. Something’s wrong. And they were always very supportive. They’d say, No, no, you’re doing great. You’re a good student. But maybe you’re just being too nice. Too nice. I would argue with them. I would say, No, no, you don’t understand. In my head, I’m not being nice at all. Of course, I’m a nice person, so I’m training with safety and respect. But I really am trying to win a lot of the time. I have an ego. I have a temper. I have a competitive spirit. So I’m not giving anybody anything once the action starts. So, I would come back to the conclusion that I just need to practice harder. And practicing harder meant focusing on technical attributes. And it still wouldn’t be enough. Another six months would go by. Another year would go by. I would come back to my teacher and say, I’m still getting beat. Something’s wrong. And again, they would say, Maybe you’re just being too nice. I would say, No, I’m not being nice. And the cycle would continue over and over, for lo, these many years. So what really is the issue? What has been the problem for me, personally, which perhaps you can relate to? I believe it all came down to one thing. Killer instinct. I have figured out– maybe it took way too long– that developing a killer instinct is a skill of its own. You can focus all you want on speed and power, flexibility and mobility, pain tolerance, sensitivity. You can study as many books as you want, talk to as many teachers as you want to. Flow like water. None of it matters if you don’t have killer instinct to back it up. If you can’t finish a fight, then you’re finished. This is what I figured out. Now, that brings us to the sweater. Check out this sweater. This is getting me in the spirit of killer instinct. What do we got here? It’s a big cat, a panther, a predator, a meat eater. In the wild, clearly, you must have a killer instinct. Either you eat or you die. And that’s whether you eat a plant, kill a plant, or kill a fellow animal. It’s eat or be eaten. Now, in the last podcast, #124, the topic was to stop pulling your punches. And I argued six months ago that we need to push ourselves in training, to go to 100%. And I’m saying that wasn’t even deep enough. The language there wasn’t deep enough. In the last six months, I’ve only come to a doubling down on this theme. We must release our fighting spirit in its most primal execution, most primal expression. To be clear, the martial arts are all about death. You’re either training to stop someone from taking your life or you’re developing the capability to take someone else’s life to survive. You may not think of every self-defense scenario as a life or death situation, but the point of training is to take it that far. The bad news is, most of us are nice people, and we can’t, won’t, or don’t want to imagine these extremes. To think about the death aspect of martial arts. And that has revealed to me that the killer instinct is not actually in everyone. Maybe you were born with a killer instinct, but then you were raised out of it. You were taught to be polite, and patient, and civilized. To play by the rules, to not cause a fuss. And now, even if you were born with it, that instinct is gone. Or I think more likely, you weren’t even born with an instinct to kill. Some are, but I think many aren’t. I don’t think I was. Yes, we have a primal drive to survive, but that doesn’t mean we have a primal drive to kill to survive. As a result, violence is shocking. Either violence perpetrated against us or seeing violence come out of us when necessary. A secondary effect of not having a killer instinct is that you may actually judge violence as barbaric. Something beneath you. Something you would never resort to. Even when it’s the only tool left. So that’s the disadvantage here. Bad guys will do whatever they want. They’ve released their fighting spirit. They still have a killer instinct, or have developed their killer instinct, to take what they want from you, including your life. And if a bad guy is willing to use 100% of the tools available to them, but you’re not, then you’re at a disadvantage. You’ll be too slow to react, or you won’t react when you need to. That’s a problem. Let’s recognize that having a killer instinct allows you 100% of the tools available to you as a human being. And as a self-defense student, a martial arts student, you should have 100% of all the tools necessary. Now the good news… The good news is the killer instinct– and let’s just stop even using that word. Because like I said, either it can be trained out of you, so it’s no longer an instinct, or maybe you weren’t born with it at all. So, perhaps we should talk about this more as a killer mindset. A killer mindset as a separate skill can be trained. It’s an odd thing, but the toughest guys I know, and I’ve talked to a couple of them on this podcast, they insist that they were not born with a killer instinct. They’ve said, no, quite the contrary. They had to develop it because they had to, they needed to. Because of the way they were raised, their neighborhood, their family dynamics, they felt they had to develop a killer mindset to survive. And I would say, so should you. So should I. And even if right now, you’re not 100% comfortable with it, and even if you never achieve a 100% expression of a killer mindset, I believe every percentage point you can add to your personality will be of benefit to you. So what’s the big problem here? Not just civilization, not just your past and how you were raised, not just the fact that you weren’t born with a killer instinct. You were smart enough to seek out martial arts training. But the problem is many martial arts schools– I would never say all of them, I hesitate to say most of them, but let’s just safely say many of them– presume you do have a killer instinct. So, most of the class time and the curriculum is spent teaching techniques, teaching you drills, teaching you all of the other attributes that are important, but aren’t necessarily the deal breaker, the scales-tipper. So you will get faster and stronger, you will get tougher, but if you still don’t have the fuel of a killer instinct, a killer mindset, all that’s going to fall apart. I would say it’s almost worthless. That’s been my experience. You can train for years and be a very sincere student, and hide the fact that you don’t have a killer mindset. You can excel at your drills, be the best student in the class, and still lack a killer mindset. And it would be tragic if you didn’t reveal that to yourself until a real-life situation that calls for you to be a killer comes up and you fail. That would be tragic. And by the way, we’re talking about a martial arts class where you are presumably safe. Even if you’re in a hardcore school, and you’re practicing MMA, or boxing, or Muay Thai, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, there are still rules to protect you. It’s still supposed to be a safe training environment. And even in tournaments, they’re supposed to be safe with rules and referees. So, if you can’t play the part of a killer, even in a safe context, even with rules and supervision, then what makes you think you’re going to have a killer mindset when it’s for real and there are no rules and there are no referees? The martial arts class is our first chance to really exercise the killer mindset while we can do it safely and then, hopefully, expand upon that to bring it out into our real lives. So we don’t want to miss that opportunity in our training. Speaking of training, how do you train? Is there a killer mindset at play? I would say there are four modes of training in the martial arts. Four Modes of Training The first mode is oblivious. You’re just going through the motions. You don’t have any particular training goals. You show up, you do what they say. You’re not really learning on purpose. It’s kind of just happening as it happens once in a while. You’re not in a teaching mindset. You’re not in a learning mindset. You’re not even really in a fighting mindset. You’re just kind of oblivious. You just show up, do what you’re told, and go home, and that’s it. Second mode you could be in is a teacher mode. That’s when you have some skills and perhaps your training partners are less skilled than you. So you purposely give them some room to work, to play. You set up positions where little problems for them to solve, to figure out how to survive on their own. And that’s very giving of you, senior student type of stuff. Third mode you could be in is student mode. That’s when you are purposely trying to learn something. You did come in with a list of goals, micro goals, macro goals, whatever they may be. You are paying attention to what’s going on. You’re experimenting, you’re playing around, and you are charting your progress. The fourth mode would be the fighting mode. That’s when– the heck with coaching, the heck with learning– I’m trying to win. Whatever the objective is here right now, for me it’s just I’m winning. Whether I’m training for self-defense or training for a tournament, I’m just trying to finish this fight on top. So, that will be the fourth mode. So, oblivious mode, teacher mode, student mode, and fighting mode. Which one are you? Which mindset do you find yourself in most often? How should you be training? Which mode should you be in? I’m going to give you a warning. If you are in mode number one, two, or three– oblivious, teacher, or student mode– and your partners are in fighting mode, then you are always at risk of losing or getting hurt. They’re coming on strong. They’re not focused on safety, maybe, and respect. They’re just trying to beat you. And in that mindset, anything goes. So you have to be very careful with people like that. My advice to you here would be to always presume that your partner is in fighting mode. I don’t care how long you’ve known them. I don’t care if it’s a kid. And I don’t care what the scenario is. Always presume that they’re about to lose it, be erratic, be reckless, do something unexpected, and hurt you. It’s much safer to have that attitude when you approach a partner than any other. I’ve been clocked so many times unexpectedly by people I never thought would hit me, simply because I underestimated what mode they were in. Oh, I thought we were both in learning mode right now. I didn’t realize you were suddenly going to freak out and try to kill me. I’m sure that’s happened to you too. Of course, by training in that mode, that also prepares us better for real life. You’re approached on the street, you’re looking at people and evaluating them in a crowd or in your home, I’m just going to presume that if trouble starts, you’re looking for the worst here. You’re going to accelerate this really fast, and I need to be ahead of that. As a trained martial artist, I need to get there before you do. Whatever action that may be– leaving, speaking, setting boundaries, pushing away– whatever your action is, I need to be ahead of it. Now, for you, in your training, if I’m always expecting my partner to be in mode four, fighting mode, does that mean that I should always be in fighting mode? Should I always have my killer mindset turned on? No. No, and the reason is if you’re always in fighting mode, then you’re not learning. And you’re also not giving your partner a chance to learn anything with you. Not on purpose anyway. You’re not steering them where you want them. They learn how to take a beating and that’s helpful sometimes, but you get the point, it’s only happening as an aside. It wasn’t on purpose. And as a senior student or teacher, you like to guide your students and lower class people to a safe place to learn things. 3 Tips for Building a Killer Mindset Number one would be to mix up your modes. Mix it up. Of course, you’re going to have an advantage if you’re sparring and rolling to be looking for that finish and stay in fighting mode. However, that’s a very limited way to practice. When you do that, you’re more than likely just going to stick to a few moves that always work for you. You’re going to stick to your favorite moves all the time. That’s okay if it’s self-defense, because maybe the person you’re fighting, you don’t know and you’re only going to fight this person one time. So, whatever your favorite move is, great– deploy it and I hope that worked out for you. But in training, when you see the same people over and over again, you become very predictable. Everybody knows your favorite moves, and once they know your favorite moves, if they’re any good, they’ll take them away from you. And if you just keep trying over and over again to do that favorite move and force it down their throats, it’s not going to work anymore. So you’ve got to get out of mode four, fighting mode, and come back to student mode. You’ve got to come back to experimenting, putting yourself in bad positions on purpose to solve different problems different ways. So that would be my tip. Don’t stay in fighting mode all the time. Go in and out of it. Try to win. If you get a win, then come back to learning mode. Try to learn something new. If your favorite moves aren’t working, stop. Come back to learning mode, student mode, and find some new tricks. Then try them out in fighting mode again. Basically, any mode except for oblivious mode is what I would recommend. Just don’t show up and go through the motions and not pay attention and go home with nothing on your mind. There should always be something to mark your progress one way or the other. So number one tip, mix up your modes. Tip number two, when you do slip into your killer mindset, fighting mindset, fight to finish. Go all the way. Go for the hit. Go for the choke. Go for the tap. Go for that takedown. You need to exercise the feeling of finishing. This is the skill that I’m talking about. It’s a separate skill. Speed, power, flexibility, great attributes. New attribute, I think that trumps all the others– can you finish? Do you feel comfortable finishing? Can you go after them? Can you dominate? Is that a problem for you? If you can’t dominate your partner in a friendly, safe practice session, why do you think you’re gonna dominate an unfriendly attacker in a real-life, life or death situation? I’m gonna say you can’t. Use the class as a stepping stone to real life. Go as close as you can without hurting your partners to exercising the feeling of totally dominating the other person. That’s how it’s done. And by the way, this is good for your partners too. I’ve talked about that before. Nobody comes to class wanting to learn how to defend against a weak kick, a slow punch, or a non-threat. For them to build confidence and for your partners to build skill, you need to bring them a real problem to solve. That means you bring them your best, which is why slipping into your fighting mode and turning on your killer mindset here and there, is good for them. It’s necessary for you, it’s necessary for them if we’re all gonna be our best. Just to back up for a second, at no time am I suggesting that we should be bloodthirsty in our martial arts training. We are not after all wild animals. We are trained animals. Animals still have a killer mindset. We just figure out when to deploy it and when not to deploy it. And I believe with training, we learn that there are situations where other people may deploy it, the killer mindset, where we don’t need to, because we have control. That’s what the training is for. Control the bad guy. Once you get control, then you have choices. Then you can say, I’m going to let you go. I’m going to talk you down. I’m just going to injure you and get out of here. Or if need be, I’m going to end your life. But you don’t get to make those choices, unless you have controlled your attacker. So how do you get that control? You’ve got to get the killer mindset, get in there, and make things happen. So this isn’t about being crazy. It’s not about being bloodthirsty. It’s about being smart enough to know that I’ve got to turn on all of my attributes, including a killer mindset, to control you. Then I can protect you. Tip number three–visualization. This is the tool, more than any other, that you need to exercise. Visualization. Whether you want to call that meditation time, whether you want to do this in a waterfall, or sitting on the couch, or whenever. You want to stand in a forest, do it. I don’t care. But set aside time when you can visualize the absolute worst-case scenarios, the most frightening and horrifying things that could be done to you, and the most horrifying things that you could do against someone else. You’ve got to get into that mindset, otherwise you won’t be prepared for it. It’s a funny thing. Martial arts is a very peculiar activity. Let’s say weird. Martial arts is one of the only activities I can think of where you’re not allowed to do the actual thing you’re training to do! Imagine if you’re trying to teach someone how to drive a car, and you walk them to the car, you seat them in the car, but you never turn on that engine, you never put it into drive, and you never let them out on the road. But you spend years putting their hands on the wheel, talking to them about the pressure in the gas pedal, when to switch to the brake pedal, how to shift gears, how to use the mirrors, you explain what it’s like to be on the freeway. Does any of that add up to driving skill? Of course not. Whether you’re playing piano, painting, cooking, playing soccer, driving, every other activity, you get to do the actual thing that you’re training to do. But martial arts, you can’t do that. You can’t go around breaking necks, breaking backs, killing people. You can’t. We’re not alone. Military exercises, police academies, people who are in the business of restraint and control and death have to simulate. And we can simulate many different creative ways, the military, the police, martial artists. We all find different drills and exercises. We can argue about methodology. But at the end of the day, it’s simulations. And only real is real. So we have to get as close as we can to real without being real. It’s just the way it is in martial arts. And if we can’t physically be real, then we have to at least make the effort to be emotionally and psychologically real. The only way to do that is imagination. Play-acting. Go through those worst cases in your head. I find it to be a very intense experience. Just sitting down and really imagining a home invasion. Imagining what’s being done to my loved ones. What’s being attempted against me. And seeing how that would play out. Then imagining me intervening, taking action. And what would I have to do in the most extreme circumstances? I break a sweat thinking about this stuff. I can feel my heart beating faster. I can feel the adrenaline starting to go. That’s the power of imagination. And I highly suggest that you do this. Because again, if you can’t even imagine it, if you can’t even think about it, how are you going to do it if you need to? How can you face real life if you can’t even face it in your imagination? Give yourself that gift. Then, after you’ve sat down with these thoughts, take it into your solo practice. In your solo practice, if you’re going to hit a bag, don’t hit that bag until you give yourself a context. What’s happening? What’s really happening? Why are you punching and kneeing and elbowing? What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Use your imagination, create a context, and you will get way more out of your practice, because it’s no longer physical. It’s psychological. It’s emotional. Same thing if you’re doing kata. Same thing if you’re shadow boxing. Bring your imagination into that, and you will get more out of your training than ever. Wrapping up. Okay, just to be clear– martial arts should be a special activity, something different from everything else that you do. That’s because martial arts is as extreme as it gets, because it deals with death. That should not be a downer or gloomy. It’s exciting. It should stimulate your life force, your primal drive to survive. And yes, that can lead you into a killer mindset. Awaken it.If it’s an instinct that’s been long lost, bring it back to life. If you weren’t born with a killer instinct, then this is the next best thing. Inject yourself through hard training with the mindset of a predator, of a big cat. We must train to dominate the bad guys. Otherwise, they win. And that’s not fair to the world, and that’s not fair to you. Okay, big cat, time to get out there and strut your stuff. Maybe buy yourself a cool sweater or get a tattoo. Maybe just go roar into a mirror. Do what you gotta do to remind yourself how powerful you really are. Until next time, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life. The post #125: How to Train Your Killer Instinct [Video Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #124 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Stop Pulling Your Punches.” It might sound harsh, but most people are holding back… not just on the mats, but in every aspect of life. They’re NOT maximizing their efforts and, therefore, NOT maximizing their successes. (Yes, including me!) The question is WHY? Or is it? Maybe before asking why, I should ask if you even agree? Perhaps you believe you ARE giving 100%… even if you’re not. It’s a common misimpression. How does this happen? In this episode, let’s dig deep to figure out if we’re truly working towards our dreams or just going through the motions. Along the way, I hope you’ll discover there’s more power in you just waiting to be unleashed! Oh—two videos are mentioned in this episode. If you’d like to check them out, here are the links… One Tip for Powerful Punches Self-Defense Tip: Finish the Fight Okay—check out the show, then let’s get out there and start throwing some full power punches! To LISTEN to “Stop Pulling Your Punches,” just hit play below. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Google Podcasts or Spotify. To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! Stop Pulling Your Punches Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page. TRANSCRIPT Hello, and welcome to Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. I’m so glad you could stop by. Today, Stop Pulling Your Punches. The reason this topic is on my mind… The other day, I was working with a student, a young man, and we were throwing sidekicks on a bag. And he’s a hardworking student. He was sweating. He was giving it his all. He was pivoting well. He was kicking hard. But overall, I had to give him like a B+. This is not an A performance. Why? Well, the fact is that he wasn’t extending his leg all the way. The pivot wasn’t 100%. Sticking out that heel wasn’t 100%. And therefore, it wasn’t a complete kick. It wasn’t his full potential for a strong side kick. Now, this is not the first time that I’ve addressed this type of issue on the physical front. I have a video, I believe it’s called, One Tip for More Powerful Punches. In that video, I comment on the same phenomenon. When you see people set up in front of a heavy bag very often, they “short arm” their punches. They just kind of stand there and their hands are very active, but their torso is not. And so the tip very simply was to give yourself a little more space and try to extend that shoulder for a full punch. Now, of course, I’m not innocent. I am guilty of short arming my punches and kicks over the years. And in particular, when I started grappling, so 15 years ago, I remember I was rolling with my coach, and I was just happy to get good positions, get to a mount, get to his back. But if I got my arm around his neck to set up a choke, I’d let that go. If I got near an arm bar, I wouldn’t fight for it. When the round was over, I remember my coach being very frustrated. He looked at me and he said, What is this? A nice guy contest? Guilty again. Yes. I absolutely admit that physically, I was not finishing techniques. I was not in the hunt for the tap, for the win. Psychologically, of course, that’s the problem. I didn’t want to be a jerk. I was new to grappling. I certainly didn’t want to hurt him, because I didn’t know what I was doing necessarily. So I don’t want to hurt somebody. I’m out of control. I didn’t want to come off as too aggressive, or like I’m trying to win. I’d like to think that my ego is in check and I was just enjoying the learning experience. But at the same time, that doesn’t make me the best of sparring partners, because I am allowing falsity into the workout. The worst thing you can do for your partners is to give them a false sense of confidence, a false sense of skill, letting them think they earned an escape, when really you just gave up on the attack. So, yeah, I needed to make some adjustments to make sure I was being a good sparring partner, and to ensure that they would be good sparring partners back to me. I don’t want people short arming their punches or shortening their kicks, just to make me feel good. I need that honest feedback of for what’s working and what’s not. So overall, in a nutshell, if you have to leave early, the big advice today is stop pulling your punches, because the magic of martial arts is in the finish. The magic is in that last 10%, 5% of effort, where you do fight to win, where you fight for the success. Of course, that’s the magic in everything in life, going for the finish, not holding back, giving something your full effort and attention. I think I can prove this, because most of us are very excited when we see something, see a person working at full capacity. As opposed to what we normally see– I think it’s just part of human nature– where people hold back a bit. I think most people are working short of their potential on the mats and off– half-hearted, half-assed. People seem to have this natural tendency, including me, to do the minimum to get by. Whatever your goal is, they seek the minimum– what do I have to do to get that goal?– and not necessarily looking to do more than that. My proof for this is that when people go the extra mile– well, let me back up, when people give 100%, you notice. If people give 100% and then do more than that, like extra credit, you really notice. And that can be in any walk of life. That could be getting a waiter or a waitress who greets you well, gets the order correct, is timely, checks up on you during the meal, makes sure you have everything you have, brings you the check on time. When they tick every box of a professional waiter or waitress, you notice. Why do you notice? Because you’ve had so many lousy waiters and waitresses. So I’ve had that experience, whether it’s at the dentist’s office or at a car mechanic. You get used to this mediocre level of service, attention, competence, and you just kind of think, well, that’s the way it is. Until you meet that person who’s really good at what they do, and they tick every box of professionalism, and you realize, like, wow, I’m inspired by this. I notice this. I want to be like that. My other proof that most people aren’t working at full capacity, I think, would be in the sports world. Playoffs. I’m not much of a sports guy for regular season sports, because I’m not always convinced they’re going at 100%. They’re nursing injuries or whatever. The big crowds aren’t as big. They know they have a long season. They can make it up later. But during playoffs, I know that they’re trying hard. During the Olympics, I know it’s now or never, these people have to put up their best performance right now. We pay money to see people working at 100%. That’s maybe how rare it is to find people not pulling their punches. So, when you find people, if you went and paid for a ticket at a professional basketball game or at the Olympics, and people weren’t working at 100%, I think that’s when the crowd starts to boo, throw stuff, because you feel cheated. I paid to see you work at 100%. I want that inspiration in my life. And if you don’t get it, boo. So, that’s number two. My third proof that most people aren’t working at full capacity, I think, is animal attacks. Whether it’s on Instagram or wherever, when you catch these little “caught on tape” type clips of a bear tearing up a campsite, running after somebody, or a shark attack, or any animal– it could be a spider– animal attacks are incredibly gripping entertainment. Why? Why can’t you look away? I think it’s because of the commitment level. The animal is not in the off season. That animal is either protecting their young or they’re hungry, and they’re fighting for their life. So what you’re seeing there is a primal example of 100% effort. Biting down, holding on, trying to kill somebody. And man, that’s exciting. And perhaps inspiring. So, overall, I think the rule is simple. If you give a minimal level of effort, you’re going to get minimal results. If you give more, you’re going to get more. And if you can make a habit of giving your best and going all the way with what you’ve got, then you will figure out what your best really is. You will fulfill your potential. Doesn’t mean you’re always going to be the champ. Doesn’t mean you’re always going to win or survive or get what you want. But your results will be maximized. Okay, now, this can get tricky because you may feel that you are already doing that. That you’re giving all you’ve got… You’re exhausted after class. You’ve saved as much money as you can, etc., etc. You may feel like you are already a hard worker. And the reason this is tricky is that’s true! You may be a hard worker. You may know lots about your subject of expertise. You may have the courage to show up and try new things. You may practice a lot. You may be brave enough to ask questions and seek mentors and coaches. But all of those measurements don’t necessarily equate to success. The problem here is when you reflect on what you’re doing, you’re measuring the wrong qualities. Gee, I’m sweating. So does that mean I worked my best? Maybe not. Did you try new things? Did you ask the right questions? Did you put yourself in uncomfortable situations or are you just repeating the same things that always work for you? Bottom line is if you’re only measuring what you want to measure and you’re not measuring what you don’t want to measure, you’re going to get bad feedback. So I would suggest the one measurement that you should always include in your reflections is: Am I winning? Is what I’m doing working? Now, don’t get me wrong, you don’t want to be that person in your martial arts class who’s always trying to win, who can’t drop it down a little bit to learn something. That would come off like maybe you’re a jerk. Like you just treat everything like a competition. Because that leads to only repeating what works for you. You’re never going to learn something. So the measurements can’t just be, am I always winning? But am I always learning? Now, definitely if you are not winning– if you are losing, failing, not getting the tap, not getting the point, getting knocked down– yes, you are learning. You should be learning from your reflections. But if you’re never including, hey, here’s me winning– here’s me getting the tap, finishing the choke, scoring that knockdown– then you’re not learning from the wins. So your learning experience is very limited. So I don’t want you just to measure by sweat or by new information. Please measure, are you getting the results that you should be? The tap, the point, the knockdown. Whatever that is in your life, make sure you’re measuring successes. You should have some. If you’re not getting those successes, those wins, the points that you’ve got to ask, is it because I’m actually not giving 100%? Is there a 10%, 5% margin that I’m just not using? I’m not going to my limits. Why? New reflection… Why are you stopping short? Why aren’t you getting that choke and the tap? Why are you pulling your punches? Are you not sure it’s the right move? Are you not sure you have control of it? Are you not sure how you’re going to feel if you’re that guy who can finish things? Do you think people are not going to like you if you’re successful? Do you have a fear of success? All of these, of course, are mental blocks, not physical blocks. That young man who was throwing sidekicks could extend his leg. And once I made some observations, he did extend his leg. So it was a mental block for some reason that he wasn’t extending his leg, not physical. So, yes, it’s going to be scary sometimes to suddenly go 100% if you’ve made a habit of going 85% or 90% even. That last 5% of effort may likely change who you are, how you see yourself, how others see you. It’s going to change things. Right now, you might have a status where you’re pretty good. That’s your identity. That’s how people see you. Like, yeah, you’re pretty good. If you push for that extra 5%, you might find yourself failing more and feeling silly all of a sudden. People may notice like, Hey, you’re failing more. You’re not as good as we thought. You have to be brave enough to look at that. And accept that and say, Well, that’s okay, but at least I know what my limits are. On the other hand, you might go from, Yeah, I’m pretty good, to, I’m better than I thought. I’m getting more success. And how is that going to change your identity? How you see yourself and how others see you? Some people may love it that you’re coming into your own and up kicking up to a new level. Others may not. They feel more comfortable with you right where you were. That’s where they met you. That’s where they like you. And now you’re up a notch. And they’re not going to follow you up there. They can’t or won’t. And they prefer that you came back down to their level. So you may not want to deal with that. And that’s your choice. But at least be aware of what you’re doing. Now, to be fair, there are a couple of considerations here to not necessarily excuse why you’re not working at 100%, but maybe explain why you’re not working at 100%. Here’s one of them… Yin and Yang. Every extreme holds the seed of its opposite. If you look at the YinYang, it’s not just the black side and the white side swirling into one another– there’s often the little dots of the opposite color right in the middle of the other. So what does that represent? Well, for the sake of this discourse, this rant, I would suggest that that is the vulnerability inherent in going to an extreme. So very simple example. If you’re short-arming a punch, you’re also shortening the amount of time that you are vulnerable to a counter. Your elbow is close enough to your body that you can pull that back to a defensive shield pretty quickly. The longer your arm goes, the longer amount of the time is that that hand is away from your body. The longer your body is open for a counter underneath that arm. And the longer it’s going to take for that hand to come back to being defensive. So quite literally, on a physical level, the more extreme that you reach out that punch, the longer you are vulnerable. You may already sense that instinctively and pull those punches a little bit back, just so you’re not vulnerable to being countered. Definitely with kicks, you may feel even more of that fear, because you’re on one leg, you’re sticking your leg out there, your groin is exposed, it just feels more vulnerable. So you just don’t throw it 100%. I get that. However, I believe the point of practice– these are not real fights yet that we’re talking about– in a practice session, in a martial arts dojo, there’s no reason why you can’t throw that 100%, risk that vulnerability, just to see if it works. To see how big a risk you’re really taking. To see what you can get away with and what you can’t. So that you can be more wise in when you employ 100%, deploy, and when you decide to pull that a little bit shorter. You want that wisdom. I believe you can always do less, if it comes to a real fight or some high stakes situation. You can always do less. But we should be training to always do more. So you have the option. If you only practice at 85%, and then in a real situation you feel even more intimidated, now you’re working back at 65%, you’ve really shrunk your abilities. If however you practice at 100%, and then a real life situation scares you back to 85%, well at least you’re at 85%, not 65%. That’s my logic anyway. So one, the yin and the yang, the inherent vulnerability of going out to an extreme at 100%. That’s one reason to be fair that you may not be operating fully. The other reason may be you simply don’t know about it. You didn’t realize that you’re not doing 100%. And that’s usually because your challenge is at too low of a level. You’re in a comfort zone, and you may not even realize it. Let’s say, for instance, at your school, you’re coasting at your 90%. I mean, 90% is still working hard. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mean to say coasting, but you’re operating at 90% of your potential. And let’s just say all of your partners, they’re working at 80% of here and 85% there, 60% there, and it just happens that your 90% is able to dominate everybody else’s half-hearted efforts. So you think you’re doing great. That must be good enough. You must be 100% because nobody’s beating you, or at least not enough to take it too seriously. So you build up a false sense of confidence, like me with my grappling coach. Your partners, by not giving you 100%, have allowed you to believe that your 90% is 100%, and you don’t even need to question it. No good. Think about breaking boards. Let’s say you put up one or two boards. I’m betting you are healthy and strong enough that you don’t need 100% of your power and speed to bust through one or two boards. So if you only set up one or two boards, you’re going to get by for the rest of your life at 80% effort. Because the challenge is just that low. But if you challenge yourself and put up four or five boards, I’m going to bet that your 80% effort won’t cut it. It might break your hand. You’re going to need to push your limits on speed and power and focus and courage to bust through that four or five boards. So by raising the challenge, you had to push yourself to a higher limit. So this is what we should be doing on all fronts. Give yourself higher challenges to force yourself to find your failure point. Know what your 100% is. Then you can back up a little bit and strengthen up your resources to maybe come back stronger the next time. And then increase your limitations. This is what a good martial arts program should be doing. It should be a safe place to raise your level of challenge to force you to work at 100%. To get to the place where you fail, but you know you gave it everything you had. Alright. Now let’s talk about self-defense. I have addressed this topic a little bit in a video called, Self-Defense TIp: Finish the Fight. And the big takeaway, if you don’t want to go watch it, was this thought: A fight is not over when you say it’s over. The fight’s over when the other guy says it’s over. Somebody comes running up to you on the street, and you give them a big palm heel to the nose. You may think, That’s good, that’ll stop them, that’s enough. They may not think so, though. The other guy might just walk through it and still be swinging at you. So the fight’s not over just because you thought it was over. He’s still going. So now you have to do something else, and maybe something else. Hopefully you have that opportunity. So we should be training to go farther and farther with our techniques, with our combinations, with our power and speed, to go to our limits. Because, like I said, we can always do less, but we should be preparing to do more, to go all the way. And I do believe that how you do one thing is typically how you do everything. So let’s say at work, maybe you don’t love your job, so you’re doing like 70-75% of your effort there. Maybe you’re bored in your relationships, so you’re kind of pulling back 75-80% there. Maybe you’re diet or saving money, you’ve pulled back on some of your efforts there, you’re like, I don’t know, 80-90%. So now you’re in martial arts class, and you’re used to that kind of level of effort, that’s who you are. So you’re kind of given 70-90% somewhere in there in martial arts class. That’s not necessarily going to be your best life. If that’s the goal to live your best life, you’re already cheating yourself. So, at least in the martial arts class, if that’s a safe space for you to push your limits, and to risk vulnerabilities, and risk new identities, and kind of expose who you really are and what you can really do, if you can give 100% in that martial arts class, then maybe you can come back to your diet, relationships, finances, your job, and kick it up a level over there too. Maybe your martial arts training can inspire everything else that’s going on in your life. That’s why I say that even a little martial arts can make your whole life all better. Let the martial arts influence the rest of your life. Push yourself in martial arts, and then push yourself in the rest of your life. Or back that up… Reflect and think about where am I not giving 100%? Where am I showing up and doing all the hard stuff– I signed up for this, I show up for that, seems like I’m working hard, I think I’m still learning. Where do I give myself a pat on the back for not giving up, but I’m still not getting the results that I wanted? I’m not winning. Are you getting the results that you wanted? Find those areas and figure out why not. Is it because you still have 10%, 5%, 1% that you’re holding back? Are you pulling your punches? My advice would be to redefine what 100% means to you. Whatever you’ve got in your life right now, that’s the result of the efforts that you’ve made thus far. If you suspect that you’re not heading towards what you really wanted, that you’re not going to get it, the time’s running out, you’re getting tired now. I’m 54 now. I’m getting tired. So I have to be really honest with myself. When I reflect on, Okay, where am I? What did I want? Am I doing the work? Am I doing the right work? Am I giving 100%? I got to be honest. Sometimes I think, Nope, you can do more here, you can do more there. So that’s why I’m talking about this, because this is right from my own heart. I know I have to do more in certain categories of my life. So redefine this for yourself. What is 100% to you? And you can start simply. I’m all about starting simply. Go to a heavy bag. Hit it with 100% of your effort. Don’t say, I already do. I already do hit it really hard. I’m asking you to take another look at it. Is it really as hard as you possibly could? Are you really bringing up every muscle fiber, every bit of your breath, every bit of your imagination, every bit of effort, mind, body, spirit, to slug that bag or kick that bag or knee that bag? If you don’t trust the safety of your hand or your foot, then give it an elbow, give it a knee. But redefine what 100% feels like, looks like, and own that. Set that new marker for yourself, like, Oh, that’s what 100% is from me. Risk it. If somebody’s watching you then in class, going after that bag, slamming it harder and faster than you ever have before, I bet they notice. And now we’re back to that thought that you’re either going to feel silly because you’ve never revealed that much power before. They may think you look silly. They may not like this new change, this new you, this new more powerful you. On the other hand, I’m hoping you’re going to love it. You’re going to feel like a million bucks instead of 900,000 bucks. You are going to own a new identity where you are more powerful than you thought. That’s what you should give yourself. So don’t give up on your goals quite yet. If you’re not getting what you wanted, if you’re not the toughest guy in your class, if you can’t get that tap, if you’re getting punched more than you’re punching them, if you’re losing at tournaments, if you’re not the belt that you want it to be– go down all the goals that you’re thinking about, those dreams that you have, and it could be anything, and really take a look at it. If you’re not there yet, don’t give up until you know for sure you gave it 100%. This would be my last challenge here to you. First, redefine what 100% really is. Then ask, is that my 100% for the goal that I want the most? Have I been giving it that 100%? If it’s yes, you really have been giving it 100% and you still haven’t gotten it, and you want to walk away from that goal, Mazel Tov. That’s totally fine. I think you’ll be able to live with that. There are certainly goals that I’ve had, that I walked away from. I felt that I gave at that time 100% of what I had. And therefore I’m okay with it. But there are a couple of other goals where I didn’t give 100%. Where I chickened out on making that connection or pushing it or spending whatever it was. And now that I’m older, I look back and think, That was bad. That was stupid. I’m ashamed of that. But I can’t let that linger for long because now what matters is where you are today, where I am today, and how I’m going to use that past, learn from it, and act for the future. And I hope you can do that too. And last little note, be patient with yourself. Not all goals are meant to be right away. So if you’ve now redefined what 100% is for yourself, that doesn’t mean suddenly you’ve got a huge bank account or that you’re suddenly world champion of your sport. It may take time to get where you want to go. If you’re trying to play a musical instrument, you haven’t really been giving it 100%, and now you are, give it some time. It takes time to save money, it takes time to build skill, it takes time to build trust, it takes time to nurture a good relationship. But bring 100% to all of those tasks, all of those goals, and maximize what you’re going to get out of them. Alright, I think I’m going to catch my breath here. Let’s wrap this up… I definitely would say, as I have gotten older, it is easier and easier to see other people identifying who’s giving 100% and who is not. I think those 100-percenters really stand out. And when you see the people who are giving 100%, who aren’t pulling their punches, I get goosebumps. It makes me tear up. I want to support them. And even if I never see them, it makes me feel like I want to give 100%, that there’s still time, and I can do that too. On the other hand, you see the B students. You see the people who are at 90% or less. And it hurts. To me, it hurts my heart. It feels like they’re wasting time, and I don’t want to waste my time. It feels like they’re missing opportunities, and I don’t want to miss opportunities, so I just feel empathetic. Or sympathetic. I don’t want to be disappointed in myself. I don’t want to feel like I’ve wasted my time, that I was fearful. I want to feel that when I’m dead, when I’m dying, I gave it 100%. And I want you to have that same feeling. I don’t want you to have those regrets that you pulled punches, that you didn’t extend that kick. It’s a horrible thing to have to go to the grave with, I believe. So, give more and then get more. Take the risks and push yourself into those uncomfortable areas. Allow vulnerability in your practice. Seek to redefine who you are and what you can do. I think if you do this, I believe if you do this, you stop pulling punches, you’re going to find out that you’re faster than you thought, you’re stronger than you thought, you’re tougher than you thought. And all that’s going to add up to living a happier life than you thought. Okay, that’s it. Take a moment to pick a goal right now that you’ve been thinking about your whole life, working on your whole life, recommit to it at 100%. This is it. Win or lose, whether you get it or you don’t, at least be proud of yourself for fighting for it. Until next time, smiles up, my friend. Let that smile be your shield and your sword. Keep fighting for a happy life. The post #124: Stop Pulling Your Punches [Video Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.