#199: How Our Early Imprints Shape Our Lives & Relationships with Lael Stone
In this episode, I’m joined by educator, speaker, and author Lael Stone to explore the powerful role that early imprints play in shaping the stories we carry — about ourselves, others, and the world around us.We dive into how our earliest experiences — especially within our family system — inform the narratives we unconsciously live by. We talk about what it means to bring those stories into conscious awareness, and how to begin rewriting the ones that no longer serve us.Whether you’re deep in your healing journey or just beginning to explore your inner world, this conversation is a reminder that we’re not defined by our past — and that we have the power to tell a new story.Connect with Lael StoneInstagram: @laelstoneWebsite: laelstone.com.auPurchase Lael's new book, Own Your StoryHighlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website
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#198: What Anxiously Attached People Need to Thrive in a Relationship
When you have an anxious attachment style, it can be hard to know what you actually need to feel secure — especially if past relationships have left you second-guessing yourself or trying to manage your anxiety by suppressing your needs.In this episode, we’re exploring five key ingredients that help anxiously attached people thrive in relationships. These aren’t about seeking constant reassurance or outsourcing your self-worth — they’re about being in relational environments that support security, growth, and genuine connection.What we cover in this episode:How consistency supports nervous system regulation and builds trust over timeThe importance of emotional validation in helping you feel understood and connectedWhy clear and reliable communication matters more than constant contactThe role of safe conflict in creating long-term security and repairHow having a shared vision helps settle the fear of uncertainty and misalignmentWhether you’re currently dating or in a relationship, this episode will help you get clearer on what’s supportive for you — and how to recognise when your needs are being met versus when you’re stuck in a cycle of over-functioning or hoping for crumbs.Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website
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#197: What Avoidant People Need to Thrive in a Relationship
In today’s episode, we’re exploring what avoidant attached people actually need to feel safe and secure in a relationship — and how partners can support that without self-abandoning.Avoidant attachment is often misunderstood — labelled as cold, distant, or commitment-phobic. But when we look beneath those surface-level behaviours, what we often find is a deep need for space, safety, and self-reliance.We’ll cover:Why space needs to be respected, not punishedThe importance of having a partner who can self-regulate rather than emotionally offloadHow clear, direct, and honest communication builds safetyThe value of each partner having a full, meaningful life outside the relationshipWhy pacing matters — and how moving too fast can trigger shutdownBalancing lightness and heaviness Whether you’re avoidant yourself or in a relationship with someone who is, this episode will help you better understand the conditions that allow these relationships to thrive.Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website
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#196: How & Why We Self-Abandon in Relationships
If you deeply fear abandonment, there’s a good chance you’ve also been abandoning yourself in quiet, subtle, and painful ways.In today’s episode, we’re exploring how fear of abandonment often leads to patterns of self-abandonment — especially for those with anxious attachment. We’ll look at why this happens, how it shows up in your relationships, and what it actually costs you when you disconnect from your truth just to stay connected to someone else.You’ll learn:Why self-abandonment is often a survival strategy rooted in early attachment woundsWhat self-abandonment looks like in dating and relationshipsThe trade-off between authenticity and connectionWhy the work must begin with us Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website
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#195: Two Simple Principles for a Healthy Nervous System
In today’s episode, I’m sharing two key principles for building a truly resilient, balanced nervous system — and why one without the other tends to keep us stuck.We’ll explore:Why nervous system health isn’t about being relaxed all the timeThe importance of deliberate stress exposure to build capacity and resilienceThe equally vital need to resource and nourish ourselves through rest, pleasure, and co-regulationHow to work with the natural ebb and flow of activation and recoveryA simple metaphor to help you reflect on how you’re currently supporting your systemWhether you’re feeling burnt out, dysregulated, or just curious about how to better support your emotional wellbeing, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate reframe of what nervous system care can look like.Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Additional Resources Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Join my email list 💌 Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Visit my website
Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.
New Zealand