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How to Talk with Boys Like a Pro
Talking with boys — especially tween & teenage boys — can be tricky.Shrugs, grunts, and silence often stand in the way of the conversations parents want to have. Add in timing issues, big emotions, and the pull of devices, and it’s easy to feel like communication is impossible.Photo by Kindel Media via PexelsBut it’s not. Boys want connection — even if they don’t show it. With the right approach, parents can create moments where boys are more likely to listen and share. Paying attention to timing (before bed may be better than after school), providing snacks, and watching for signs of openness can help you find the best opportunities.It also helps to balance the “transactional” talk — reminders about chores, schoolwork, or sports gear — with “relational” conversations that build trust. And when boys withdraw or respond with irritation, remember that there’s often sadness, worry, or shame behind the mask. Responding with patience, and repairing after conflict, models the lifelong communication skills our kids need most.Takeaways:Timing matters — choose moments when he’s most receptiveSnacks can open the door to conversationBalance management talk with genuine connectionDon’t take grunts or shutdowns personally — look for what’s behind themRepair after conflict builds stronger bonds and teaches lifelong skillsLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Talk With Boys Like a Pro (About Anything & Everything!) – Register here Talking to Tween & Teen Boys — ON BOYS episodeRosalind Wiseman on How to Talk with Boys — ON BOYS episodeTalk to Boys– A Conversation with Christopher Pepper & Joanna Schroeder – Building Boys Substack LiveAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Unlocking Motivation: How to Help Your Son Find His Spark
Is your son pulling away, shutting down, or showing little interest in school or chores?You’re not alone — and there is a way forward.In this third episode of our special 3-part ON BOYS series, we focus on how to foster intrinsic (inner) motivation in boys. Because yes, it’s in there — even when it feels completely buried.We’ll help you understand the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, and why both matter. You’ll hear real-world examples from our own lives and families, plus honest talk about what doesn’t work. (Spoiler: there’s no magic phrase that makes a boy suddenly say, “Sure, I’d love to do my homework!”).Photo By: Kaboompics.com via PexelsTakeaways:Inner motivation is the key to lasting engagement.External rewards (ice cream, screen time, earrings!) can work in the short term — even for adults.Understanding your son’s developmental stage helps you support him more effectively.Motivation-building strategies will look different for each child — even within the same family.Parents can boost motivation by aligning with boys’ goals and interests.his episode is part of our lead-up to the Boost Boys’ Motivation interactive class:3 live sessions in May 2025 with real-time Q&A, strategies, support & community. Register now at boysalive.com/boostUse coupon code ONBOYS to save $50 (just $99 for all three sessions!)If you’ve ever wanted to jump into the conversation with us — this is your chance.Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Empowering Boys & Dyslexic Learners — ON BOYS episodeHow Your Anxiety is Sabotaging Your Son’s Motivation — ON BOYS episodeBoost Boys’ Motivation — ON BOYS episodeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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How Your Anxiety is Sabotaging Your Son’s Motivation
You can’t effectively boost boys’ motivation until you address YOUR anxiety and fear. We know: You want your son to do his homework. To follow through on commitments. To care.So, when he shrugs, resists, or just doesn’t seem to try, your anxiety spikes — and before you even know what’s happening, you’re caught in a spiral of worry about his future.In this episode of ON BOYS, we talk about one of the most overlooked (but most powerful!) factors in boosting boys’ motivation: your mindset.This episode is the second in our special three-part series on Boys & Motivation. (Find part one here.) We’re diving into the pressure parents feel, the unspoken fear that drives us, and how those feelings affect the way we interact with our sons. Plus, we share why community is key and how coming together with other parents can help you show up more effectively for your boy.Photo by Kindel Media via PexelsTakeaways:Parents’ fear & anxiety can get in the way of helping boys develop motivationBoys change constantly — avoid future-tripping!There are concrete, supportive ways parents can help build a motivating environmentReleasing the pressure (internal and external) makes space for progressWant more support? Join us for Boost Boys’ Motivation: How to Ignite His Spark (Without Nagging or Yelling) — a 3-session live series starting May 6, 2025.Use code ONBOYS to save $50 → boysalive.com/boostLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Overcoming Fears & Worries to Say YES — ON BOYS episodeParent from Love, Not Fear (w Bryan Post) — ON BOYS episodeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Boost Boys’ Motivation
It is possible to boost boys’ motivation.Doing so, though, starts with understanding why so boys are unmotivated. A big part of it is developmental: apathy and an “I don’t care/I don’t wanna” attitude commonly show up around puberty. As boy grow from boyhood to adulthood, they begin to question their priorities, interests, and goals. That’s a good thing! AND, it can be incredibly frustrating for parents and teachers who can’t see the behind-the-scenes work, who only see a once-motivated boy pulling back from previous interests and failing to to complete his homework or chores.Photo by Tima MiroshnichenkoTakeaways:Apparent lack of motivation is common during boys’ tween & teen yearsApproaching boys with understanding is a lot more effective than naggingParents and teachers can boost boys’ motivationREGISTER FOR THIS 3-SESSION SERIES (begins May 6th)CLICK HERE: Boost Boys Motivation: How to Ignite His Spark (Without Nagging or Yelling) iUse coupon code ONBOYS to save $50.https://boysalive.com/boostLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Adam Price: “He’s Not Lazy” — ON BOYS episodeListener Q & A: Getting Curious & Motivating Boys — ON BOYS episodeMaggie Dent on How to Motivate Boys — ON BOYS episodePassion = Motivation = Learning — Building Boys Bulletin 2-14-22Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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The End of an Era
The first episode of ON BOYS podcast went live March 12, 2018. Seven years ago!Over the past seven years, we’ve talked to guests from around the globe: Maggie Dent, Michael Gurian, Amy Lang, ADHD Dude Ryan Wexelblatt, Steve Biddulph, Richard V. Reeves, Ruth Whippman, and so, so many others.We’re talked about puberty, porn, school, ADHD, autism, entrepreneurism, motivation, sports, suicide, consent, respect, dating, and – again — so, so much more.Jen’s boys grew up in that time. Her youngest is now 19; her oldest, 27. Janet became an Oma (a grandma) — and is looking forward to welcoming two more grandchildren this year! Boys’ & men’s issues are now part of national and international conversations, and we hope those conversations fuel continued change. Boys need and deserve our love and support too.This will be the last Jen-and-Janet episode of ON BOYS podcast. We’ve loved sharing our lives & learning with you, and we thank you for trusting us with your questions and stories.Remember: We’ve got seven years of content in our archives! When a new boy-raising concern comes up, run a search in our archives. Odds are good that you’ll find something to help you through. Jen will also continue her Substack newsletter, Building Boys Bulletin, so you can connect with her there. Janet will also continue family coaching — and soon, Jen & Janet will offer another session of their popular class, Boost Boys’ Motivation. (Want to be sure you get the info as soon as it’s available? Sign up for Building Boys Bulletin.)Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands MalesGet Jen’s book here Breakthrough Session for Family CoachingSchedule your no-cost call with Janet at https://boysalive.com/call Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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