Proud Conception Podcast

This week on Proud Conception, we meet John, who alongside his husband Nick, embarked on a journey to fatherhood that required immense tenacity and resilience. After ruling out adoption and international options, their path took a beautiful turn when John’s sister offered to be their egg donor. With Nick providing the sperm, their son Emerson would share a biological connection to both sides of the whānau.They worked through the search of finding a gestational surrogate and had a few false starts with the embryo transfer, but it finally all seemed to align with a positive pregnancy. Then at 20 weeks, their world shifted when at a routine scan they discovered their son had a congenital heart defect. John details the daunting reality of preparing for multiple heart surgeries for a newborn while navigating the legal complexities of New Zealand surrogacy arrangements, where, as intended parents, they technically had no legal rights to make decisions around their son’s care and treatment until parenting orders were in place post-birth. In recounting this journey, John shares his perspective of being gay dads in a hospital system designed primarily for birthing mothers but also highlights the incredible individual allies they found in nurses, surgeons, and their lawyer. He also shares some of the people and groups whose support guided him and Nick. This is a story of fierce advocacy and the profound love that carried this whānau through. This is a longer episode and it deserves to be. It’s the extraordinary origin story of a beautiful young boy wrapped up in some pretty remarkable love.Resources:Imperfect Parents: The parenting group John mentions that provided a supportive space for their whānau. Super inclusive of different family types and run by the incredible Sophie Moskowitz. https://www.imperfectparents.co.nz/Stewart Dalley: The legal support John and Nick used for their surrogacy and adoption process. Stewart is a lawyer who specialises in surrogacy and has three children of his own by surrogacy. https://www.dslaw.nz/familyformation/ Empwr: Rainbow-inclusive antenatal classes which provide affirming and supportive pregnancy education. empwrbirth.com. The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will be Glad that You Did) by Philippa Perry. Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. And if you have a family-building story you’d like to share, please get in touch via Instagram or email [email protected].

This week on Proud Conception, we hear from Emily, an egg donor who felt called to action after stumbling across a Facebook post from a queer couple hoping to become parents. What began as a moment of curiosity quickly grew into a heartfelt commitment to support another whānau’s dream of having a child.In this kōrero, Emily shares the full arc of her donation journey: how she connected with the intended parents, the counselling process she and her husband worked through, the boundaries they discussed as a family, and what the medical side of egg retrieval was actually like. She also reflects on how she thinks about her connection to any potential child born from her donation, and how she’s choosing to stay open to whatever emotions might arise in the future.At the time of our conversation, Emily’s eggs had been successfully retrieved and fertilised, and the intended parents now have embryos waiting on ice, ready for the right moment for their gestational surrogate to begin her own process. Emily speaks with deep emotion about imagining them one day holding their baby, just as she’s held her own children.This is an honest and grounded look into what egg donation can mean, not just medically, but emotionally and relationally. Emily’s story highlights the immense generosity behind gamete donation and offers valuable insights for anyone considering taking this path.Apologies for a bit of feedback on the sound quality on this episode! I’m still working on my tech skills 🙂Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. And if you have a family-building story you’d like to share, please get in touch via Instagram or email [email protected].

This week on Proud Conception, we meet Olivia, wife to Karen and mama to four-year-old Rafael. Their path to parenthood took many turns: from working with Oranga Tamariki to potentially care for a relative’s child, to trying at-home inseminations with a personal sperm donor, and finally to conceiving Rafael through IUI with an unknown clinic donor.Olivia shares candidly about the heartbreaks and lessons along the way including the generosity of a friend who offered to be their donor, the grief when that plan changed, and the long wait on the donor list that ultimately led them to matching with a Filipino donor who beautifully reflected Karen’s heritage. Together, they’ve built a family culture that honours both their backgrounds and shared traditions into everyday life.We also talk about navigating fertility clinic systems, the quirks of counselling requirements, inclusive midwifery care, and finding representation in children’s books (including one very special Canadian connection that felt meant to be). Olivia’s story is warm, grounded, and full of wisdom for those just starting their own journey to queer parenthood.Resources:You Came from My Heart by Brenlee Coates and illustrated by Roberta Landreth https://www.youcamefrommyheart.com/ Inclusion through Difference, a nationwide survey of Rainbow Families in Aotearoa: https://vuw.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_7OPvyWEj8lLTSrc Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation  with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. If you have a family-building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch via Instagram or email [email protected].

This week, I’m thrilled to share our second expert episode with the incredible Dr. Olivia Stuart of Fertility Associates. Olivia is a gynaecologist, obstetrician, and fertility subspecialist meaning she can walk alongside individuals and couples from their initial fertility consultations through to the birth of their pēpi. Olivia came highly recommended by so many of you in the rainbow parenting community, and it’s easy to see why. She’s a compassionate, highly skilled, thoughtful healthcare provider and I was genuinely so chuffed that she agreed to come on to the podcast. With so much ground to cover, it was tricky to figure out where to even start this conversation with Olivia! So what we’ve recorded is a bit of a primer; a 101 on family building options using a fertility clinic. Olivia talks through common terms and procedures like IUI, IVF and ICSI, and discusses things like attrition during the IVF and ICSI processes and what sort of factors might lead her to advise one procedure over another. We then talked about how gamete donation - so sperm and egg donation - at the clinic works and what factors are at play in that matching process. Now, a confession and an apology! Olivia and I talked for nearly an hour but as we got to the last question, my technology failed me, and I sadly lost part of our recording (devastating!). I’m so sorry! If you were under any illusion that this is a well-oiled, commercial machine, I’m sure that is now well and truly shattered. Despite losing the last few minutes, the 43ish minutes I did capture with Olivia are gold. So please enjoy this intimate conversation with a respected fertility expert who works a lot with queer couples from our community. If you enjoy this chat and want more expert conversations like it, please let me know via Instagram or email at [email protected]. Your feedback helps me show guests why these conversations matter and there was so much to cover with Olivia that I would love to have her back (with better tech!) and input from you could help make that happen. So please, get in touch with feedback and requests for additional topics. You can learn more about Olivia and her practice at www.fertilityassociates.co.nz/team/dr-olivia-stuart And as always, thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. Please consider sharing this podcast with a friend, it really does help us connect with people who might benefit from the stories we are sharing. And if you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach us via Instagram or by emailing [email protected].

This week on Proud Conception, we sit down with Oli—a non-binary solo parent to a spirited two-and-a-half-year-old, Francis. Oli’s conception journey has a bit of everything: fertility clinics, two different clinic donors, IUI and IVF, and finally, success through a low-tech at-home insemination with a known donor met through a mutual friend.Alongside the logistics of conceiving, Oli navigated perceptions around being a solo parent by choice and their identity as a non-binary birthing parent. And now, as a parent to a toddler, Oli shares openly about beginning testosterone and their gender transition journey.Oli is thoughtful, wise, funny, and their story is deeply moving; a true taonga. I am so genuinely honoured they chose to share it with me and you all. Resources:Rainbow Families Aotearoa Facebook groupDr. Heather Johnston of @cradlednzThe Burnett Foundation Aotearoa’s free counselling sessions for members of the LGBTQ+ community. Find out more at www.burnettfoundation.org.nz/get/get-counsellingThanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. Please consider sharing this podcast with a friend, it really does help us connect with people who might benefit from the stories we are sharing. And if you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach us via Instagram or by emailing [email protected].