Simon Mayo's Confessions

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for another week of packed confessions.

First up Adam relives the three-channel era and, in a strop over Corrie, does the unthinkable… and plunges an entire village into a total blackout. Louise’s Brighton hen-do goes from bubbles to life drawing to accidentally gifting a homeless man cake… and a bag full of very questionable sketches.
Guaca-mole wages fertiliser-based war on mum’s “sacred oval”, and Jay learns why you never, ever feed seagulls near a car park.

If you have a confession send it to [email protected]

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Holly and Brother Matthew for a slightly shorter episode that still delivers three absolute belters — plus Parish Notice Board gossip, five-star reviews, and a heated debate about how on earth you say 'guacamole'.

We first walk down the cold marble steps for a confession from the crypt involving ashes, an urn and a vacuum cleaner.
Then Mr C, a trainee engineer on a deep-water trawler off Greenland, quietly “sorts” a toilet problem and accidentally creates a floating arctic legend.
Plus: Jonathan, aged nine, proudly parades a “lady-shaped” inflatable from a den… straight into Dad’s allotment.

Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confession Collective for another week of chaos, questionable logic, and tape-speed chat that nobody fully understands (7 and a half IPS, apparently).

First: Clara’s lunchtime ice creams take a horrifying turn when a “respectful” window manoeuvre collides with a cathedral town funeral.

Then Sally relives childhood vengeance as a Cindy-doll disaster ends with an “ever so slight” push into a lily pond… and a decades-later Facebook block.

Plus: Alison reports a mystery powder to the police (taste test included), only to discover it’s not what original thought, and Tommy commits the ultimate school photo sin.

Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Suzi, Sister Holly and Brother Matthew for another week of chaos.

First: a 1950s boarding school in Kenya where the boys welcome new UK teachers with the ultimate classroom icebreaker… bright green pet snakes, smuggled under shirts and released onto desks.

Then Bob’s Tenerife chip run goes catastrophically windy, ending with paper plates, ketchup, and an accidental Carry On-style moment by the pool.

Plus: Geoff “accidentally” cosplays as blind on the train thanks to reactive sunglasses, a Dayglo lead and a protruding white stick, and Chris launches a full police sting to recover his stolen bike… with questionable consequences.

Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the crew for another week of sinful silliness, dubious logic, and a very firm reminder to… respect the cupboard.

First up, Luke fakes a twisted ankle at his twins’ birthday bash and “heads to A&E”… only to limp straight to The Force Awakens, then on to TGI Fridays for a full debrief with “Han”. Dark side behaviour?

Then Seaman Steve wages class war at Cowes Week with a stealthy nuts-and-bolts prank that sends Tarquins into a safety spiral.

Plus: Selhurst Park Pete’s mum accidentally unleashes a downhill “snake” of supermarket trolleys, and science teacher Steve cons schoolkids with fake fortune-telling that turns him into Mr G the Psychic.

Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].