Simon Mayo's Confessions

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the collective for a week of blocked sinks, fake hospital letters, and staff training-day chaos.

First, Susie’s raspberry-peach smoothie turns into a fermented crime scene that takes out the call-centre kitchenette. Then Jeanette commits peak springtime mischief by forging a hospital letter recommending “Morris dancing therapy” for her grumpy husband’s dodgy knee. Plus, Maurice’s 1966 snow-sculpture disaster, and Stan’s drama-teacher mate who sleepwalks into an unwanted performance.

Got a confession? [email protected]

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for an episode featuring village newsletters, VHS carnage and a cigarette-based science experiment that absolutely shouldn’t be repeated.

First, nine-year-old James “helps” his vicar dad with a community email…

Then Rebecca admits she turned a brand-new VHS player into a Hot Wheels garage, and let her little brother take the blame.

Plus: Andy’s weapon-grade party-popper cigarettes, and a micro-school teacher with the strangest problem of all.
Got a confession? [email protected]

Step into the confessional for a special delve into the crypt for this week's episode of Simon Mayo's Confessions!
First: a Devon carnival prank goes full folk‑horror when a lovingly crafted coffin is launched into a river… and drifts 20 miles into the local paper. Then a “helpful” son‑in‑law turns “bingo” into “strip club” on his mother‑in‑law’s phone — with an email to a politician as the punchline.
Plus: a dad accidentally cosplays as a hotshot surgeon (socks included), and a twin‑buggy wisecrack that haunts a marriage.
Got a confession? [email protected]

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for a week of stains, spirits and seriously questionable decisions

First up, a gem from the crypt: Soviet-era Ukraine, super-strength homemade vodka, and a flock of geese who get so hammered they’re mistaken for dead… until they reappear very much alive, very naked, and very honky.

Then Richard admits to provoking the Tokoloshi in 1970s South Africa. Mr P's confession involves 15 litres of carpet glue and one blamed child, and Mark & Elaine’s enjoy a drive‑thru… in an imaginary car.

Got a confession? [email protected]

Landing in your inbox on Good Friday (or whenever you’re brave enough to press play), Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective are back with Parish Notice Board gossip, five-star reviews, and a Not For Broadcast pile that should probably come with protective gloves.

First: a wholesome family holiday in Cornwall goes slightly… medicinal when a sleep-deprived dad reaches for teething gel in the dark and finds something very much meant for the other end of the baby.

Then we head to Venezuela for Missionary Impossible: cockroaches, bug spray, matches, a fireball, and the discovery that “safety bucket” can become “flaming water”.

Plus: canal piracy involving stolen mooring pins, and a Christmas morning rest-home mystery featuring a missing Jane… found in the car.

Got a confession? [email protected]