Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

• ADHD Duos • Break Free from Shame Spirals with James Ochoa, LPC & Dr. Nachi Felt

  Shame is a formidable force—an emotional wildfire that can either illuminate our path to growth or consume us in cycles of self-blame. For individuals with ADHD, this complex emotion is often amplified, lingering far beyond its utility as a corrective signal. But why? And more importantly, how do we break free?This week on The ADHD Podcast, hosts Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer embark on an exploration of shame spirals with two powerhouse guests: James Ochoa, LPC, renowned ADHD pathfinder and author of Focused Forward: Navigating the Storms of Adult ADHD, and Dr. Nachi Felt, an ADHD specialist and professor at Columbia University where he teaches Psychopathology and helps direct the Cognition and Neuroscience Research Lab.Together, they dissect the neurobiology of shame, its insidious tendency to hijack our presence of mind, and the ways in which ADHD uniquely intensifies its grip. James and Nachi offer profound insights into the role of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and the often-overlooked power of resourcing—the practice of cultivating internal and external tools to navigate emotional turbulence.From the interplay of trauma and shame to the game-changing realization that the same agency that allows us to sit in shame also allows us to stand up and move forward, this conversation is both a course in emotional resilience and a rallying cry for self-compassion.With humor, wisdom, and a touch of Brooklyn-style candor, this episode invites you to challenge your inner narratives, embrace the possibility of rewriting your personal stories, and ultimately, reclaim your incredible sense of self-worth.Resources & Links:Take Control ADHD Discord CommunitySupport the Podcast on PatreonJames Ochoa’s Work & BooksDr. Nachi Felt’s ADHD ResourcesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:09) - Support the Show! (03:37) - The Nature of Shame Spirals ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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• Shiny Objects & Smart Machines: AI’s Role in ADHD Productivity Part II

  There’s an inflection point when technology shifts from novelty to necessity. The printing press. The telephone. The internet. And now, artificial intelligence. For those with ADHD, the rise of AI presents an especially tantalizing paradox: a tool that promises to sharpen focus and streamline tasks, yet one that, if wielded carelessly, could just as easily become another source of distraction.In this episode of The ADHD Podcast, Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer take us into the heart of the paradox. They begin with a simple but profound question: How do we make AI work for us, rather than the other way around?It starts with a refresher on prompt engineering—the art of structuring AI queries with precision. It’s not unlike training a dog. Give vague instructions, and you’ll get unpredictable results. But with the right prompts, AI can become an invaluable assistant, distilling complex information, organizing thoughts, and even generating study guides.But then comes the tension. The unease. The creeping realization that AI—like all powerful tools—has a darker side. What of the Paperclip Problem, a thought experiment that suggests AI, if left unchecked, could optimize itself into oblivion, consuming all available resources (including us) in its relentless pursuit of efficiency. Far out? There are those who argue not so far as you think.The conversation then shifts to the Goldilocks Zone—that elusive middle ground where AI enhances productivity without eroding autonomy. Pete shares his meticulously curated AI toolkit: Perplexity AI for research, Grammarly for writing, TextExpander for automation, and Adobe Voice Enhancer for audio clarity. Each tool, when used correctly, reduces cognitive load. But over-reliance? That’s where the danger lies.By the end of the discussion, one thing becomes clear: AI is neither savior nor saboteur. It is a mirror, reflecting back the habits and intentions of its user. The question isn’t whether AI will replace us—it won’t. The real question is: Will we use AI to become more of who we are, or will we let it decide that for us?Links & NotesPerplexity AI – AI-powered research assistantPoe.com – Multi-model AI chat platformGrammarly – AI-enhanced writing assistantAdobe Voice Enhancer – AI-driven audio clarity toolCoda.io – AI-integrated database managementJoin our Discord communitySupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:22) - Prompt Engineering (12:08) - The Problem with AI (18:25) - The Goldilocks Zone (22:16) - Some Tools (25:19) - Gell-Mann Amnesia ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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  34:37
• Shiny Objects & Smart Machines: AI’s Role in ADHD Productivity Part I

  Artificial intelligence is everywhere—shaping how we work, think, and even how we manage our ADHD. But is AI a game-changing cognitive assistant or just another digital white whale primed to swallow our focus whole?This week, Pete Wright and his AI-curious co-pilot Nikki Kinzer embark on tour of ADHD and AI. With AI tools evolving at a dizzying pace, the duo explores how these technologies can either empower or derail neurodivergent minds.Throughout the episode, they share some of the tools making waves in the ADHD community, from AI-powered task managers like Motion and Reclaim to text-based assistants like ChatGPT and Claude. They also unpack the critical distinction between AI as a thought partner versus an unreliable oracle—one that is often confidently wrong.But AI isn't just about efficiency. Pete and Nikki probe the philosophical and ethical dilemmas AI presents: Is AI truly augmenting human potential, or are we handing over too much cognitive agency to machines?Links & NotesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes DatabaseJoin the ADHD Discord communityExplore AI tools we talked about on the showMotion AIReclaim AITodoist AINotion AICodaPoe AIPerplexity AIBrain.fm (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:57) - Support the Show: Become A Patron! (03:51) - AI (08:21) - ADHD & Your AI Sidekick (11:53) - AI Models (18:38) - Sidebar: Perplexity AI (21:04) - AI Tools ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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  33:15
• Caroline Maguire Helps Us Make Friends

  Friendship. It’s a word that evokes warmth, nostalgia, and—if we’re honest—a twinge of confusion. Because once upon a time, it was effortless. A shared lunch, a game of tag, and suddenly, a best friend was born. But then, something happened. Adulthood. And with it came the slow realization that making and keeping friends isn’t just harder—it’s an entirely different proposition.We've heard the lamentations before: Why is this so difficult? Why do friendships slip away? Why does it feel like rejection when it’s just… life? Enter Caroline Maguire. She is no stranger to the complexities of human connection. A coach, a teacher, and the award-winning author of Why Will No One Play with Me?, Caroline has made it her life’s work to decode the unspoken rules of friendship—especially for those with ADHD.Today, she returns to the podcast with answers and a roadmap. What if the secret to adult friendships isn’t just about finding the right people, but about understanding the invisible structures that hold relationships together? What if the problem isn’t you, but the way we misjudge who is truly a friend? What if, in our rush to connect, we’re skipping the essential steps that turn acquaintance into ally?From the hidden psychology of trust to the overlooked power of consistency, this episode pulls back the curtain on the friendships we crave—and the ones we lose. Pete wrestles with the ghosts of old friendships, Nikki examines the seasons of connection, and Caroline offers not just wisdom, but action. Because friendship, like any great endeavor, requires more than just longing. It requires intention.Links & NotesCaroline Maguire on Instagram: @authorcarolinemWhy Will No One Play With Me? by Caroline MaguireJoin the Taking Control: The ADHD Discord CommunitySupport the Show on Patreon (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:36) - Support the Show: Become a Patron.. Please? :) (02:21) - Introducing Caroline Maguire (03:36) - What makes a friend? (09:48) - Different Friends for Different Seasons (25:06) - Anxious Over-correction (27:43) - How Apps Change Friend-finding (33:14) - What do we do? (44:48) - Learn More ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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  46:23
• The Paradox of ADHD Impulsivity: Both Gift and Liability in Our Most Intimate Relationships with Melissa Orlov

  What if the very quality that makes those early, intoxicating moments of romance so vibrant—the spontaneous weekend getaway, the surprise bouquet of flowers—later becomes the source of relationship friction? The human brain, particularly one wired with ADHD, contains multitudes of contradictions, and nowhere is this more evident than in how impulsivity shapes our intimate partnerships.This week on the show, relationship expert Melissa Orlov peels back the layers of impulsive behavior in ADHD relationships with Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer. Pete's personal confession—renting a convertible for a romantic coastal drive during courtship, then later purchasing an entire car during what should have been a routine oil change—illuminates the Jekyll-and-Hyde nature of impulsivity that Melissa has observed in thousands of couples."It came from somewhere," Melissa notes of impulsive words and actions that wound our partners. But where? The answer lies in a neurological tightrope walk between present-moment reward and long-term relationship consequences. The ADHD partner experiences the euphoria of now, while their significant other bears witness to the aftermath, creating an asymmetrical emotional experience that compounds over time.What of verbal impulsivity—those cutting remarks that can never be unsaid? Melissa offers a revelation that ADHD partners are "blessed with the ability to move on quickly," while non-ADHD partners ruminate, creating relationship dissonance long after the moment has passed.Let us take our cues from Melissa's "verbal cues," pattern interrupters in relationship conflict. The deliberate absurdity of an agreed-upon word like "hamburger" or "aardvark" serves as a circuit breaker during emotional escalation—a linguistic tool that transcends the heat of argument to preserve relationship integrity. It's a Safe Word, but for your ADHD.This is an invitation to understand how neurological differences fundamentally shape our perception of time, commitment, and connection—and how awareness of these differences might just be the greatest relationship skill we can develop.Links & NotesADHD MarriageIntent to Action Membership ProgramThe ADHD Effect on MarriageThe Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHDSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (00:39) - Support the Show! Become a Patron! (01:40) - Introducing Melissa Orlov (06:58) - Auto-Impulsivity (09:32) - Impulsivity is Not a Monolith (12:38) - How We Fight (15:22) - Trust & Boundaries (19:10) - Fidelity (20:43) - Breaking out of Impulsive Patterns in Relationships (25:16) - Collaborating with the Non-Impulsive Partner (31:19) - Transparency (34:24) - Emotional Dysregulation & Verbal Cues (41:30) - Learn more about Melissa's work ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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  43:33

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