Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

Rest, relaxation, recuperation. Three words we reach for when we're empty, and all three have collapsed into the same meaning: stop doing something. The older meanings point somewhere far more interesting, toward getting strength back rather than simply halting some energetic drain.
This week, Pete walks Nikki through research from occupational psychology that helps explain a frustrating experience most ADHDers likely know well: taking the time off and still coming back exhausted. There are four distinct kinds of recovery, they don't substitute for each other, and picking the wrong one is why a whole weekend of rest can leave you no better than you started.
Along the way: why sitting still can make mental noise louder, why your hobby might be the most restorative thing on your calendar, why the scroll fails every test, and how to match the kind of rest you choose to the kind of tired you are.
Links & Notes
The Recovery Experience Questionnaire
Support the Show on Patreon
Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

(00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

(01:32) - Support the Show on Patreon!

(02:54) - On Rest and Recuperation

(13:56) - The Big Four

(26:42) - Fake Rest

(29:20) - Match the Drain to the Recovery

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

You look at the list. You look at the calendar. You already know there isn't enough day for what's on there, and somehow the first thing out of your mouth is still "but I have to."
In this conversation, Nikki and Pete follow last week's capacity conversation down to the reflex underneath it. Where does the have-to feeling come from, what is it trying to protect, and what changes when you stop treating every task as though it weighs the same? They get into the five D's from Casey Dixon, why Pete has fallen hard for the one called disappoint, and the difference between deferring something and quietly hoping everyone forgets you agreed to it.
Also: what to do when the list actually is too long and no mindset shift is going to fix it.
Links & Notes
Support the Show on Patreon
Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

(00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

(03:20) - The I Have To Trap

(19:26) - The Raw Power of Disappoint

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

There's the version of you that exists right now, and the version you're pretty sure you should have become by this point. In this conversation, we get into the space between them, what Nikki calls the gap trap, and why that space fills up with shame so fast for ADHD brains.
We talk about freeze as a nervous system response rather than a character problem, and about what it costs a fully grown adult to say "I don't know how to do this." Then Nikki offers the smallest possible way back in, along with three questions worth keeping close for the next time you're stuck.
Nikki's new download, When You Feel Frozen: A Guide to Restarting Without Shame, is available now.
Links & Notes
Get the “When You Feel Frozen” Guide
Support the Show on Patreon
Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

(00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

(03:05) - The Gap Trap

(21:07) - Restarting with no Shame

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We're on summer break, so this week is a Revisit: a favorite conversation pulled back out of the archive. In this one, Pete and Nikki put on their detective hats to break down an ADHD challenge.
The idea is simple. "I can't focus" or "I can't follow through" is too big and vague to solve, so the episode is about investigating what's actually getting in your way and finding the specific roadblock underneath. There's a memorable South Park metaphor involved, plus a practical, low-pressure approach to trying one strategy at a time and keeping track of what works. An encouraging, useful listen, whether it's your first time or a return trip.
Links & Notes
Dr. Dodge Rea's podcast, The Change Paradox, on TruStory FM — and Nikki's guest appearance, Nikki Kinzer and The ADHD Paradox.
How to ADHD with Jessica McCabe — the channel behind the motivation video that sparked this conversation (YouTube).
Come join the ADHD Discord community.
Support the show on Patreon.
Tools mentioned in the episode: OmniFocus, OmniGraffle, MindNode, Todoist, and Day One.
South Park's "Gnomes" — the origin of the underpants gnomes.

(00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast

(02:20) - Check out Nikki on The Change Paradox

(03:48) - Skunkface

(08:19) - Listener Question: Striking out as an Entrepreneur?

(15:28) - Breaking Down an ADHD Challenge

(23:38) - Underpants Gnomes

(28:36) - Discerning the "Why"

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We're on summer break, so this week is a Revisit: a favorite conversation pulled back out of the archive. In this one, Pete and Nikki dig into the words we use and how much they shape the way we see ourselves.
Working from Alicia Dunams' book I Get To, Nikki walks through a few simple language shifts that hit differently when you have ADHD, from "I have to" versus "I get to" to catching the negative "what ifs." They also get into the power of the pause and staying curious instead of judgmental. It's an encouraging, practical listen, whether it's your first time or a return trip.
Links & Notes
I Get To: How using the Right Words Can Radically Transform Your life, Relationships & Business by Alicia Dunams
The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life's Hurdles by Karen Reivich
“Six Surprising Benefits of Curiosity” by Emily Campbell

(00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast

(04:14) - Change Your Language: "I Get To: How Using the Right Words can Radically Transform Your Life"

(10:50) - How Rewards Impact Language

(12:39) - A Brief Aside on The QUIT Center...

(15:02) - What do you THINK you can do?

(18:52) - Facing the Impossible Situation

(19:42) - Why not? What if?

(27:17) - The Power of the Pause

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★