That’s Not Sexy

It’s hot. Real hot. William Hurt’s stache enters the screen. Kathleen Turner in white. Ted Danson dances in fantastic glasses and makes us all want two iced teas. There is murder, there is arson, there is manipulation, there is a black tub that is certainly full of spiders we cannot see. Please join us.

Aside from all the murdering, was it sexy? Were any other crimes committed? Who should be in jail and for what exactly? Let’s discuss.

Picture it, you’re house-sitting for your parents in 1983 and you hire a beautiful sex worker that you absolutely cannot afford. Why doesn’t she ask to be paid upfront? Why did his parents trust him? Why is his best friend so annoying? Is this movie sexy at all?! Let’s discuss.    

It’s got sex. It’s got lies. It’s all on videotape. Let’s go.

Put on your best all white on white outfit and hide your bunny. We are not gonna be ignored!!