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The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

Retirement Wisdom
The Retirement Wisdom Podcast
Latest episode

159 episodes

  • The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

    Letting Go to Become Who You Truly Are – Deborah Santana

    11/05/2026 | 31 mins.
    There’s a challenge that comes with being known for what you do. When you move on you now have to figure out who you truly are. Deborah Santana spent more than three decades inside one of the most recognizable partnerships in American music as COO of the New Santana Band, co-architect of the Milagro Foundation, and the steady, contemplative presence behind a global touring life with her ex-husband, the legendary musician Carlos Santana.

    At an age when most people are quietly winding down, she did the opposite: she walked away from a 34-year marriage, dismantled the identity she had built around someone else’s career, and started over. She earned a master’s degree in her 60s, founded a new nonprofit (Do A Little), wrote a second memoir (Loving the Fire: Choosing Me, Finding Freedom), and became a trustee of major cultural institutions.

    But this is not a celebrity interview. It’s an exploration of transitions and later-life reinvention. You’ll hear about her experience and the lessons she learned that may help you. She shares the foundational daily contemplative practice she built, the calendar block for herself disguised as “a meeting” she used to jump start her writing, and the people audit she did to illuminate who is toxic and who is the light in her life. Deborah describes how liberating it can be to be a beginner again, if you’re willing.

    I often say “You don’t stop growing just because you retire.” But, it’s not just a saying and Deborah’s story is an case study. If you’re ready to let go of your past and discover who you truly are now, this conversation is for you.

     

    “When you have everything stripped away that you were known as, it is a wonderful opportunity to create exactly who you are.”

    — Deborah Santana

     

    You’ll walk away with:

    A vocabulary for the identity work that retirement requires. And not just for the “what’s next” part, but also the words for the “who am I now” part.

    A useful framework (the Four C’s) for organizing life after a major transition.

    A replicable practice for protecting time for the work of “becoming” even when the people around you don’t quite yet understand what you’re doing.

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    Bio

    Deborah Santana is the author of Loving the Fire: Choosing Me, Finding Freedom, Space Between the Stars: My Journey to An Open Heart and the editor of the acclaimed anthology All the Women in My Family Sing. Her work has been featured by Vogue, Oprah, and NPR, among other national and literary outlets. She is the founder of the Do A Little Foundation, which supports women and girls in the areas of health, education, and happiness. Her work explores identity, social justice, spirituality, and the power of collective voice. She is mother to three artists: Salvador Santana, Stella Santana and Angelica Santana. She holds a Master of Arts in Philosophy and Religion with a Concentration in Women’s Spirituality. She is a leadership donor of the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture and a Lead Investor to the Courage Museum in San Francisco.

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    For More on Deborah Santana

    Loving the Fire: Choosing Me, Finding Freedom

    Website

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    Do You Know What You’ll Be Retiring To?

    It’s graduation season. Will you be graduatiing from full-time work soon?

    Join our 10-person Design Your New Life in Retirement Group starting in September.

    The Very Early Registration discount ends soon.

    Learn more and sign up today.

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    Retirement Podcast Conversations You May Also Love

    Mattering…in Retirement – Jennifer Breheny Wallace

    Navigating the In-Between – Monique Rhodes

    What Matters Most – Diane Button

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    Wise Quotes

    On Loving the Fire

    “When there is fire, when there is struggle, if I continue to walk through and find courage and bravery, then I’m going to get to the other side and realize how much I’ve learned, how much I’ve grown.”

    On Expectations

    “I expect a miracle. I expect to see someone, meet them with a smile.”

    On Finding Your Self

    “There is a special reason why you’re here. So please find your authentic self, find your voice, know who you are, and go out and change the world.”

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    About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

    There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You’ll get smarter about the investment decisions you’ll make about the most important asset you’ll have in retirement: your time.

    About Retirement Wisdom

    I help people who are retiring, but aren’t quite done yet, discover what’s next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn’t just happen by accident.

    Schedule a call today to discuss how the Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one — on your own terms.

    About Your Podcast Host

    Joe Casey is an executive coach who helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a 26-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

    Joe has earned Master’s degrees from the University of Southern California in Gerontology (at age 60), the University of Pennsylvania, and Middlesex University (UK), a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his coaching certification from Columbia University.

    In addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, ranked in the top 1% globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 2 million downloads. Business Insider recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He’s the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy.
  • The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

    How to Flourish…in Retirement – Daniel Coyle

    04/05/2026 | 31 mins.
    Most of us were trained to win at the game of life, deliver the results and get the promotion. Then one day, we arrive at retirement and discover that the game we were trained for isn’t the one that actually produces a flourishing life.

    New York Times best-selling author Daniel Coyle, joins us to discuss his new book Flourish: The Art of Building Meaning, Joy, and Fulfillment. He unpacks what five years of studying thriving communities (a Michigan deli, a major league baseball team, and a Vermont town that keeps producing Olympians) revealed about how good lives are actually built.

    We discuss:

    Why flourishing is a team sport in an age of individualism

    The difference between task attention and relational attention, and why the switch matters

    Why visioning may be the most useful tool for people approaching retirement

    Why we should probe for retirement rather than plan for it

    Yellow doors, the rule of surprise, and the two questions Dan uses as a personal compass

    If you’re approaching a transition, or you’re in the bewildering middle of one, this is a conversation worth your time and reflection.

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    Bio

    Daniel Coyle is the New York Times best-selling author of nine books, including Flourish: The Art of Building Meaning, Joy, and Fulfillment, The Culture Code (which was named Best Business Book of the Year by Bloomberg & Business Insider), and the Talent Code. He is a contributing editor for Outside magazine, and has seved an advisor to many high-performing organizations including the Navy SEALS, Microsoft, Google and he also works as a special advisor to the Cleveland Guardians.

    Dan lives in Cleveland, Ohio during the school year and in Homer, Alaska, during the summer with his wife Jen, and their four daughters.

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    For More on Daniel Coyle

    Flourish: The Art of Building Meaning, Joy, and Fulfillment

    Website

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    Wise Quotes

    On Games versus Gardens

    “Life isn’t a game to win. It’s a garden to grow.”

    On Flourshing & Community

    “All flourishing is mutual. We only become our best selves through and with other people…Who do I feel most alive with? What am I helping to grow?”

    On the Value of No

    “If you can’t say no, your yes is worthless.”

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    Retirement Podcast Conversations You’ll Also Love

    The Good Life – Marc Schulz, PhD

    Making & Keeping Friends…in Retirement – Janice McCabe

    Will You Flourish or Languish? – Corey Keyes

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    About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

    There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You’ll get smarter about the investment decisions you’ll make about the most important asset you’ll have in retirement: your time.

    About Retirement Wisdom

    I help people who are retiring, but aren’t quite done yet, discover what’s next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn’t just happen by accident.

    Schedule a call today to discuss how the Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one — on your own terms.

    About Your Podcast Host

    Joe Casey is an executive coach who helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a 26-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

    Joe has earned Master’s degrees from the University of Southern California in Gerontology (at age 60), the University of Pennsylvania, and Middlesex University (UK), a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his coaching certification from Columbia University.

    In addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, ranked in the top 1% globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 2 million downloads. Business Insider recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He’s the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy.
  • The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

    The Caregiving Trap…in Retirement – Pamela D. Wilson

    27/04/2026 | 22 mins.
    Registration for the September Designing Your New Life in Retirement is now open

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    Caregiving is one of the most common, and least discussed, forces that can completely reshape retirement.

    If you’re in your 50s or 60s, there’s a good chance you’ll either be a caregiver, or already are one. And yet, most people haven’t had the conversations, made the plans, or even considered what happens when a parent needs significant care.

    What starts as helping out… can quickly turn into something much bigger. And for many, it quietly begins to impact their time, their finances, their relationships—and ultimately, their own retirement plans.

    Today’s guest, Pamela D. Wilson, is a caregiving expert who has worked with families across the country navigating these exact challenges.

    In this conversation, we explore:

    Why caregiving situations become so complicated

    The early warning signs of burnout

    How family dynamics—especially among siblings—can make things harder

    And most importantly, how to approach caregiving in a way that protects both your parents—and your own future

    If you’ve ever wondered how to navigate this phase of life more thoughtfully, this is an essential conversation.

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    Wise Quotes

    On Family Relationships

    “Family relationships with aging parents and siblings are complicated… caregivers are thinking about what they’re giving up, while parents are dealing with their own losses and mortality…An elderly parent’s care needs can totally derail a child’s retirement… and most people never think about that until it happens.”

    On Warning Signs

    “When you get to the point where you don’t have time to take care of yourself—that is a warning sign that something is off.”

    On Planning for Caregiving

    “If you want to make decisions about how you live your life when you are older… you have to start planning today.”

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    For More on Pamela D. Wilson

    Website

    The Caregiving Trap: Solutions for Life’s Unexpected Changes

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    Bio

    PAMELA D. WILSON is a caregiving expert, advocate, and speaker offering support to family caregivers and professional caregivers through her business of the same name. Since 1999, Pamela has been a business owner providing direct service to families, individuals, caregivers, health and care providers, attorneys, and financial planners in the areas of care management, care navigation, caregiving services, caregiver support, elder care, legal and financial appointments and estate administration.

    Throughout her caregiving career, Pamela has provided education and training, advocacy, and support for family and professional caregivers. Today caregiving education, training, advocacy, speaking, and caregiver support are the main focus of her business. As the result of the aging population and increase in need for family caregivers—nearly 4 in 10 Americans are caring for a loved one—it is critical that family caregivers are knowledgeable about options, plan for care, and advocate for care needs. The increase in diagnoses of chronic disease, dementia, and Alzheimer’s disease strains the ability of family members—many who became caregivers as the result of an unexpected crises— to provide daily support, navigate the care system, and to plan for future needs.

    Professionals in healthcare, care agencies, care communities, and in the legal, and financial professions have a similar desire to be knowledgeable and to serve as a resource for family caregivers. Due to the specialization required in these industries and the day to day job demands, it is difficult for professionals to advise beyond the specialties in which they operate. Pamela’s expertise in the industry since 1999 provides the opportunity for professionals working in the industry to expand knowledge beyond their day to day specialties through training and education programs offered by Pamela.

    Information, education, and support is offered through The Caring Generation Library®, through Pamela’s book, The Caregiving Trap: Solutions for Life’s Unexpected Changes, articles, podcasts, webinars, online support groups, speaking and training. She produced and hosted a radio program on 630 KHOW-AM in Denver called The Caring Generation®. Pamela continues to develop programming and education on topics to support family and professional caregivers. Pamela is a member of professional associations focusing on estate planning and elder care, financial and estate planning, caregiving, aging, and healthcare.

    Pamela’s work has been applauded within the caregiving community because she has walked in the same shoes, and experienced the same frustrations as the professional caregivers and family members she serves. When she was 35, Pamela lost her mother to cancer and her father died a few years later. Soon after her older brother passed away, and by the time she was 40—Pamela had lost fifty percent of her immediate family. Rather than view these challenging circumstances as a tragedy, Ms. Wilson viewed them as an inspiring catalyst to answer the call in her heart to serve and help other caregivers.

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    Retirement Podcast Conversations You May Love

    My Mother’s Money – Beth Pinsker

    Planning for Family Caregiving – Danielle Miura, CFP

    On My Way Back to You – Sarah Cart

    ___________________________

    About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

    There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You’ll get smarter about the investment decisions you’ll make about the most important asset you’ll have in retirement: your time.

    About Retirement Wisdom

    I help people who are retiring, but aren’t quite done yet, discover what’s next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn’t just happen by accident.

    Schedule a call today to discuss how the Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one — on your own terms.

    About Your Podcast Host

    Joe Casey is an executive coach who helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a 26-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

    Joe has earned Master’s degrees from the University of Southern California in Gerontology (at age 60), the University of Pennsylvania, and Middlesex University (UK), a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his coaching certification from Columbia University.

    In addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, ranked in the top 1% globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 2 million downloads. Business Insider recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He’s the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy.
  • The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

    The Grandparenting Blueprint – Richard Eyre (Part Two)

    23/04/2026 | 27 mins.
    Part Two is a solo conversation with Richard Eyre about the most personal project of his grandparenting work: the body of distilled life wisdom he has spent years developing for his 34 grandchildren — now published in the second half of The Grandparenting Blueprint. This conversation moves from the framework to the practice of how to translate a lifetime of learning into something children can actually carry with them. (Part One is here).

    This second part of the conversation opens with Richard’s vulnerability, sitting on a beach, feeling like a “spare tire” next to Linda’s natural grandmothering, and asking what role he wanted to play. What emerged was a question every thoughtful grandparent eventually confronts: What do I actually want to pass on? Richard’s answer became a multi-year project of identifying, refining, and teaching age-appropriate life lessons,  first as “principles,” then as “tips,” and finally, when the branding breakthrough happened, as Secrets.

    Richard shares the Harvard Business School case study method he adapted for nine-year-olds, the silver-dollar memorization incentive (he calls it bribery; I’ll call it incentive compensation…), how his grandchildren became unedited co-authors earning royalties, and the moment he realized the one word he most wanted to embody as a grandfather was not teacher or advisor, but champion.

    For listeners who are approaching or are already in the grandparent years, particularly grandfathers, who Richard observes are often the ones quietly wrestling with questions of legacy, this conversation offers both a philosophical approach and a practical starting point.

    The closing challenge to write down 10 lessons from your own life is the kind of exercise that could reshape how you  show up as grandparent for the next generation.

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    For More on Richard Eyre

    The Grandparenting Blueprint:How to Teach Your Grandchildren Life’s Most Important Lessons (Amazon)

    Also available from the publisher at the author’s price (40% off)

    https://familius.com/book/the-grandparenting-blueprint/

    Use the coupon code EYREFRIEND at checkout

    Website

    Part One podcast conversation

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    Wise Quotes

    On Being a Champion

    “I think what the grandparent wants to do is champion them. I’m your biggest supporter. I’m your biggest fan. I want to know what you like to do. I want to understand what you’re good at and what you want to be good at. Every kid needs a champion — and that’s probably not going to be their parents. So maybe that should be their grandparent.”

    On the Case Study Method for Kids

    “Case studies are really just a story. Only you, and the grandchild in this case, are the main person in this story. And I’m not going to finish this story. You’re going to finish the story. So it’s just a great way to teach.”

    On Rebranding Principles as Secrets

    “They came across like lectures and the kids were like enduring them rather than embracing them. And so I retooled them. I rebranded them as secrets. And suddenly I had their attention and they really started to matter.”

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    Retirement Podcast Conversations You’ll Love

    Good Grandpa – Ted Page

    The Long Distance Grandparent – Kerry Byrne PhD

    All Grown Up – Celia Dodd

    _______________________

    About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

    There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You’ll get smarter about the investment decisions you’ll make about the most important asset you’ll have in retirement: your time.

    About Retirement Wisdom

    I help people who are retiring, but aren’t quite done yet, discover what’s next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn’t just happen by accident.

    Schedule a call today to discuss how the Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one — on your own terms.

    About Your Podcast Host

    Joe Casey is an executive coach who helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a 26-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

    Joe has earned Master’s degrees from the University of Southern California in Gerontology (at age 60), the University of Pennsylvania, and Middlesex University (UK), a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his coaching certification from Columbia University.

    In addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, ranked in the top 1% globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 2 million downloads. Business Insider recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He’s the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy.

    __________________________

     
  • The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

    The Grandparenting Blueprint – Linda & Richard Eyre (Part One)

    20/04/2026 | 33 mins.
    Part Two is here

    What does it mean to grandparent on purpose? For Richard and Linda Eyre, the answer has been decades in the making. The bestselling authors of Teaching Your Children Values have evolved with their family, from nine children to 34 grandchildren, and along the way have developed a philosophy of proactive grandparenting that mirrors what good leadership looks like at any stage of life. In this 1st of 2 conversations about Richard Eyre’s new book, The Grandparenting Blueprint:How to Teach Your Grandchildren Life’s Most Important Lessons, we discuss:

    Why grandparenting is where parenting was 50 years ago — a new frontier for intentional engagement

    The crucial mindset shift: from manager (the parent’s role) to consultant (the grandparent’s opportunity)

    Their TEAM framework — Trunk, Ear, Assembler, and Matcher — four roles every grandparent can play regardless of geography or circumstance

    Grammy Camp, one-on-one grandfather dates, and other practices that create genuine connection across generations

    The Five-Facet Review: a structured conversation with adult children that turns grandparents into informed, effective supporters

    How knowing your family roots builds resilience in children — and what research from 9/11 survivors revealed about the power of family stories

    The four types of grandparents — from disengaged to all-in, and why the all-in approach treats grandparenting like a second career

    Linda brings warmth, insights and creativity to the grandmothering side of the equation, such as music, art, storytelling, and the precious one-on-one moments that reveal what grandchildren are really thinking. Richard brings his Harvard MBA mindset (and toolkit) to the legacy-building and structured side of grandparenting, including how to give financial help without creating entitlement.

    This episode is a masterclass on how to cultivate meaningful relationships with intention. It’s a powerful reminder that grandparenting, like retirement itself, is far too important to leave to chance.

    Linda and Richard Eyre join us from Utah.

    _________________________

    For More on Linda & Richard Eyre

    The Grandparenting Blueprint:How to Teach Your Grandchildren Life’s Most Important Lessons (Amazon)

    Also available from the publisher at the author’s price (40% off)

    https://familius.com/book/the-grandparenting-blueprint/

    Use the coupon code EYREFRIEND at checkout

    Website

    Grandmothering: The Secrets to Making a Difference While Having the Time of Your Life – by Linda Eyre

    Online Grandparenting 101 Course

    _________________________

    Bio

    Richard and Linda Eyre are among the most popular speakers in the world on parenting and families. Their clients and audiences range from The Young President’s Organization (YPO) and major corporations and associations to a wide array of school, civic, church and community groups. They find it remarkable and gratifying that in every one of the 50+ countries where they have presented, parents have similar hopes, dreams and worries about their children regardless of economic, religious, geographic, and cultural differences.

    The Eyres are authors of more than 50 books, most of which deal with work/family balance and parenting, and one of which, Teaching Your Children Values, became the only parenting book in more than fifty years  to reach #1 on the New York Times bestseller list. In addition to their ongoing work with parents, their latest books are about grandparenting and “Life in Full” for Baby Boomers.

    Richard and Linda have been frequent guests on national network shows including Oprah, The Today Show, Prime Time Live, 60 Minutes, and Good Morning America; and they once did regular segments on the CBS Early Show. Their parenting website, ValuesParenting.com, provides ideas, guidance and creative programs for families throughout the world.

    But their most important production is their nine children (“one of every kind”) who, through the years, have helped formulate their ideas for books and speeches. The second generation Eyres and their spouses are an impressive bunch, all with university degrees from the likes of Wellesley, Harvard, Columbia, M.I.T., Stanford, and BYU and all having interrupted their university education to spend up to two years living abroad, studying, doing missionary work and providing humanitarian service. They are also doing their part to expand the importance of family through their own speaking, books, blogs, and websites, and they have presented Richard and Linda with 34 grandchildren.

    Beyond their speaking engagements, the Eyre’s favorite travel projects are humanitarian expeditions to places like Ethiopia, Kenya, Bolivia, India, Romania and Mexico, and the family’s Eyrealm Foundation focuses on assisting and strengthening third world families.

    Richard is a Harvard MBA, president of his own management consulting company (which worked with national political candidates and locally ran campaigns to build Symphony Hall, restore the Capitol Theater, expand the Salt Palace, extend the Central Utah Project and save the Hogle Zoo) and a nationally ranked senior tennis player. He was a mission president for his church in London and a former director of the White House Conference on Parents and Children as well as a candidate for Utah Governor. Linda is a teacher, musician, and co-founder of International JoySchools.com, an in-home, do-it-yourself co-op and program for teaching preschoolers the joys of life. Both Richard and Linda have served on numerous arts, university, and non-profit boards and do a radio show/podcast at BYUradio called Eyres on the Road that is now in its 14th annual season.

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    Retirement Podcast Conversations You May Love

    Grandparents’ Day – Kerry Byrne & Ted Page

    The Mindful Grandparent – Dr. Shirley Showalter

    The Art of Relationships with Adult Children – Francine Toder, PhD

    ______________________________

    About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

    There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You’ll get smarter about the investment decisions you’ll make about the most important asset you’ll have in retirement: your time.

    About Retirement Wisdom

    I help people who are retiring, but aren’t quite done yet, discover what’s next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn’t just happen by accident.

    Schedule a call today to discuss how the Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one — on your own terms.

    About Your Podcast Host

    Joe Casey is an executive coach who helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a 26-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

    Joe has earned Master’s degrees from the University of Southern California in Gerontology (at age 60), the University of Pennsylvania, and Middlesex University (UK), a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his coaching certification from Columbia University.

    In addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, ranked in the top 1% globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 2 million downloads. Business Insider recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He’s the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy.

    __________________________

    Wise Quotes

    On The Grandparent’s Blueprint

    “Linda does it by group. So she’ll have her preschool group and then she’ll have her elementary age group and they all get their turn at the Grammy camp. And I’m sitting there, Joe, like, what am I? I mean, what am I doing? This fabulous Grammy is doing all these things with all these kids and I’m just sort of an observer.  And that’s really what led to this new book about these grandfather’s secrets. I thought, well, I want to leave a legacy. There’s certain life lessons I think I’ve learned as a management consultant and all the other things I’ve done in my life. And I want to  somehow condense those concepts into something simple enough that children can understand them. That’s my legacy.”

    – Richard Eyre



    On Listening 

    “We just recently met with three of our granddaughters. They’re all in university. And so we went down there to meet with them and for breakfast. And it was so fun.  We call them the babes because we have these little separate groups and these are the babes. And it was so fun to be with them. But in one breakfast, we learned more about their life than we could have imagined. And what were the three things you asked? We just said, Look, we just said, while we’re having breakfast, we just want to hear your story. We want to hear your recent story. And they just got going on telling us things. And I thought, if we’d been too specific with our questions, we would have missed part of what they said.  We love to tell stories to grad kids, but what’s really great is having them tell you their story. We’ve found that if we, it sounds funny, but if we pull out a pad or a pen and take a few notes on what they’re saying, they realize we really are paying attention. We really want to know. And they tell their story and they know it’s safe with us.we we know more about them than we would have if we just spent a big family reunion and everybody because we had some one-on-one and not only that we had one-on-ones with little kids.”

    – Linda Eyre



    On Lecturing

    “But the failure is the lecturing and the other failure I want to mention and I’ve made this more than Linda. Linda is way more sensitive.  I have failed in the sense that I’ve said to some of my own sons or daughters, I think you need to do a little better with this child on such and such. In other words, giving advice that’s unsolicited on parenting to your own children is almost always a mistake. It is. And we found another interesting thing. At one reunion, we did a survey, we had a survey to our adult kids and ask them, you know, do you feel like we’re too involved and not involved enough? Would you like more? Would you like less and all that. And we just saw everybody would just love everything we’ve done.  And then we got a couple of responses like, oops, we have not been very sensitive about this. He comes from a different family with a different mindset. And you really have to be so careful. So we learned so much from that. We backed off, we learned how to ask before we did things and not just blunder into it.”

    – Richard Eyre

    __________________________

    Watch out for Part Two coming on Thursday on The Secrets section of The Grandparenting Blueprint

     
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