Loving Your Family Without Losing Yourself | JB Copeland's Sappy Hour Ep.013
“Family shaped you— they don’t get to script you.”In this Sappy Hour episode, JB breaks down why you can feel free in your own life but small at a familiar table—and how to keep your self‑respect and your relationships.We unpack family systems (roles like caretaker/peacekeeper/achiever), parentification (when kids become the emotional adults), the polyvagal lens (why a tone or look flips your body into defense), and the ACEs research that gives compassion—not shame—for what your nervous system remembers. This isn’t about cutting people off. It’s about differentiation: staying connected while staying you.You’ll hear two powerful voicemails—a 19‑year‑old who feels drained visiting home and an adult raised through addiction/illness now rebuilding authenticity—and JB weaves them into one clear answer: love with limits, compassion with clarity, connection without self‑abandonment. You’ll learnWhy families act like systems—and how roles become “the price of belonging.”Parentification: the upside (empathy, competence) and the cost (anxiety, shaky self).Polyvagal 101: ventral/sympathetic/dorsal—and how “the look” drops you down the ladder.ACEs: early stress ≠ destiny; it explains your load and points to care before choice.Feedback vs. criticism (Gottman): behavior‑specific input vs. identity attacks.Differentiation: love them, keep you—in real life, without villains.Top moments (no timestamps)“Guilt” vs grief: why not wanting to go home doesn’t make you ungrateful.“Retire the role, keep the gold”: empathy stays; self‑erasure goes.“Your body is a historian”: what neuroception is and how to meet it with awareness.“Short, kind, consistent”: how systems learn who you are now.“Family shaped you. They don’t get to script you.”If this helped, share it with the friend who needs language for what they feel.Sappy Hotline: 888‑444‑9461 Book: Sappy Medium || use code SAPPYHOUR10 for 10% off.IG/TikTok: @jb_copeland
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Childhood Wounds & The Path to Healing — with Dr. Gabor Maté | JB Copeland's Sappy Hour Ep.012
In this powerful conversation, JB Copeland sits down with Dr. Gabor Maté, world-renowned physician and author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, to unpack the deep link between trauma, addiction, and healing.We explore how childhood wounds shape adult struggles — from people-pleasing and guilt, to the way addiction becomes a survival strategy. Dr. Maté shares profound insights on why we suffer, how our bodies store pain, and what it really takes to begin the journey toward freedom.If you’ve ever felt stuck in old patterns, battled self-blame, or wondered why moving forward feels so hard — this episode will give you clarity, compassion, and practical wisdom.✨ In this episode:Why addiction is not the problem, but the attempt to solve oneHow childhood experiences shape self-worth and emotional survivalThe role of guilt, shame, and people-pleasing in adult relationshipsWhy facing our deepest emotions is the first step to healingPractical shifts for self-compassion, forgiveness, and recoveryDr. Maté reminds us that healing isn’t about perfection — it’s about reconnection with self.🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.📘 Read JB’s new book Sappy Medium☎️ Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461📲 Follow @jb_copeland for daily insights
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Attracting Your Dream Life & How To Know What Is For You | JB Copeland's Sappy Hour Ep.011
Why do we stay in jobs, relationships, or situations that look good — but don’t feel right? In this episode of Sappy Hour, JB lays out The 6 Steps to Alignment: a science-backed, soul-centered framework to stop forcing connections and start living in flow.Here’s what we cover:Why forcing connection always creates resistance (Psychological Reactance, Brehm, 1966)The danger of living in roles you’ve outgrown (Self-Concept Clarity, Campbell, 1996)Why urgency comes from fear, not clarity (relationship-contingent self-esteem research)The science of choosing intrinsic values over external validation (Deci & Ryan, 1985)How to trust yourself when others don’t understand your choices (Asch’s conformity experiments)Why protecting your energy is the ultimate form of alignment (Ego Depletion, Baumeister, 1998)✨ Quote from the pod:“Alignment always costs comfort. Sometimes that cost looks like walking away from a good person who just isn’t your person.”This episode is for anyone who feels “stuck” in something that looks good on paper — but deep down, you know it isn’t aligned.📞 Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461📘 Read JB’s book Sappy Medium🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple, and YouTube📲 Follow @jb_copeland on Instagram & TikTok
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When Pain Makes You Forget Who You Are (And How to Remember Again) | JB Copeland's Sappy Hour Ep.010
Betrayal cuts deep. It makes you question your worth, your choices, and sometimes even life itself. But here’s the truth: pain doesn’t mean you’re powerless.In this episode of Sappy Hour, JB responds to two powerful voicemails from young men who’ve been hurt, let down, and left doubting themselves. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, JB delivers the tough love and real-world guidance needed to shift from despair to dignity.You’ll learn:Why betrayal feels like identity-shock and how to recover from itThe hidden cost of self-betrayal — and how to rebuild self-trust step by stepThe psychology of learned helplessness (Seligman) and how to break freeHow scars can become standards, not shameWhy the world is neutral — and how your story determines your outcomesPractical steps to stop looping in pain and start creating momentum againThis isn’t about denial. It’s about choosing strength over stagnation, and realizing the world isn’t against you… but it also won’t wait for you.📞 Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461📘 Read JB’s new book Sappy MediumUSE CODE SAPPYHOUR10 FOR 10% OFF THE BOOK AND ANYTHING ELSE BY INTELLIGENT CHANGE. 🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple, and YouTube
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How To Trust Again After Being Hurt | JB Copeland's Sappy Hour Ep.009
You’ve been hurt before. Betrayed, abandoned, lied to. And now you’re in something new — but instead of feeling safe, you catch yourself waiting for it to collapse.This episode of Sappy Hour is about how to stop dragging your past into your present. We’ll unpack why unresolved wounds make you project, how your body holds on to old betrayal, and the difference between healthy caution and self-sabotage.Inside, I’ll break down:Why unresolved pain makes you project fears onto people who haven’t earned themThe psychology of “emotional residue” and why your body still scans for dangerHow to tell healthy caution apart from destructive paranoiaThe right way to communicate your fears without making your new partner pay for your pastHow to rebuild trust — in yourself, your choices, and love itselfIf you’ve ever flinched at kindness, over-analyzed texts, or waited for the other shoe to drop — this episode will help you breathe again. Your past doesn’t get to dictate your future.🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple, or YouTube📘 Read JB’s new book Sappy Medium☎️ Call the Sappy Hotline: 888-444-9461📲 Follow @jb_copeland on Instagram & TikTok
JB Copeland's Sappy Hour: The podcast where heartbreak meets healing, science meets soul, and tough love meets laughter.
JB Copeland unpacks the real stuff no one teaches you how to handle: betrayal, closure, trauma bonds, self-trust, burnout, love, loss, and learning how to stop repeating the same cycles.
Every week, JB blends raw conversation, psychology, philosophy, and lived experience to give you the tools to live the life and find the love of your dreams.
It’s not therapy. It’s not self help.
It’s a wake-up call that feels like a hug.
Pull up a chair. The hour's already started.
New Zealand