The Divorce Course Podcast

🎧 Listen if…
Your ex handled the money and you don't know what you own

Your accountant is also your ex's accountant

You're offered an investment property "worth the same" as the home

Your ex says the business makes no profit

There's a trust, company or SMSF and you're panicking

⚠️ General information only – not legal, financial or tax advice. 
🛟 Discusses financial abuse. 
Chartered accountant and tax agent Vanessa Bell (Bell & Co Accounting & Tax) explains what to gather before you leave, what happens when you share an accountant with your ex, capital gains tax and CGT rollovers, family trusts, Division 7A loans, business valuations, super splits, post-separation budgets, forensic accountants, and how to switch accountants safely.
00:00 – Accountants in Divorce: Is Your Accountant Also Your Ex's?
03:00 – Thinking of Leaving? The First Financial Steps to Take
05:00 – Divorce Documents Checklist & How to Store Them Safely
09:00 – Can One Accountant Help Both of You After Separation?
11:30 – Accountants' Ethical Duties & When to Get Your Own
14:30 – Locked Out of the Finances? What a New Accountant Can Access
16:30 – How Accountants Decode Your Ex's Financial Disclosure
17:30 – Building Your Asset Pool: Assets and Liabilities
18:30 – Capital Gains Tax When You Sell Everything in Divorce
20:00 – Latent Tax Liabilities: The Hidden Cost in Your Split
22:00 – CGT Rollover Relief & Family Home vs Investment Property
24:00 – Family Trusts in Divorce: Transfers, Tax & What Happens Next
27:30 – Division 7A Loans Explained in Plain English
29:15 – How a Business Is Valued in Property Settlement
32:00 – "The Business Makes No Profit" & Other Company Claims
35:30 – Is Splitting Superannuation Taxable in Divorce?
38:00 – SMSFs, Defined Benefit Super & Leaving With Little Super
40:30 – Post-Separation Budget & Planning for Future Tax Bills
44:00 – How Accountants and Family Lawyers Work Together
47:00 – Financial Abuse Through Accountants & Forensic Accountants
52:00 – How to Switch Accountants & Red Flags to Watch For
56:30 – Rapid Fire: The Biggest Tax Mistakes and Myths in Divorce
🎧 Episodes 
Tech abuse with WESNET (Ep 310) – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/is-your-ex-watching-you-coercive-control-goes-digital/id1503451022?i=1000758578403
Financial abuse & coercive control (Ep 325) – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/financial-abuse-and-coercive-control-when-money/id1503451022?i=1000776879697
Business tricks in divorce (Ep 218) – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/business-tricks-in-divorce-10-sneaky-tactics-to-watch/id1503451022?i=1000733969897
Super split myths (Ep 196) – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/super-split-myths-why-equalising-isnt-always-fair-in/id1503451022?i=1000708394387
1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000
Free webinar – https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 
Vanessa's documents checklist get it by subscribing to our newsletter | Bell & Co Accounting & Tax – https://www.bellandco.com.au/ Tax Practitioners Board – https://www.tpb.gov.au

🎧 Listen to this episode if…
- You've done the maths on lawyer fees and your stomach dropped
- You want to do more of your divorce yourself but don't want to get it wrong
- You've got a small property pool and full-time lawyers don't add up
- You have a Legal Aid lawyer and want to help your case move faster
- You and your ex are "amicable" and thinking of skipping the paperwork
⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances.
🛟 This episode touches on family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14.
Lawyers charge around $500-$1000 an hour Mum and I talk about which hours you actually need to pay for and which you can do yourself. 
00:00 – DIY Divorce: Which Lawyer Hours Can You Do Yourself?
03:00 – Why People DIY Their Divorce: The Real Cost of Lawyers
05:00 – Legal Aid Lawyers and Becoming Your Own Project Manager
07:00 – The Family Court Was Built for DIY (Safari Suits Included)
10:00 – Controlling the Pace: Deadlines, Cost Orders and Associates
14:00 – DIY Divorce With Coercive Control: What's Safe to Do
16:00 – Property Settlement Step 1: Your Asset and Debt List
17:00 – Disclosure Explained (and the Five Shopping Bags)
20:00 – Contributions, Future Needs and Your Percentage
22:00 – Negotiating Your Settlement: The Grocery Basket Analogy
24:00 – Consent Orders: Making Your Agreement Enforceable
25:00 – Why You Must Formalise It (Plus Stamp Duty Relief)
27:00 – Parenting Arrangements: From Early Days to a Plan
29:00 – Parenting Plan vs Consent Orders: Why Write It Down
31:00 – What You Can DIY: Divorce Application, Disclosure, Valuations
33:00 – Mediation Without a Lawyer: Save Your Money for Court
35:00 – Three Lawyers at Mediation, None at the Appeal
36:00 – Filing Your Own Consent Orders on the Court Portal
37:00 – The Two Lawyer Checkpoints You Shouldn't Skip
38:00 – "My Case Isn't Normal": Businesses, New Partners, Big Contributions
39:00 – What You Can't DIY: Binding Financial Agreements and Trials
43:00 – DIY vs Winging It: Kitchen-Table Agreements and Disclosure
45:00 – Get Organised: Email Folders and Disclosure Systems
48:00 – Vague Parenting Plans and How to Make Them Specific
50:00 – Advantages and Disadvantages of a DIY Divorce
55:00 – Can You File Your Own Divorce and Consent Orders?
🎧 Episodes Mentioned
Worried About Your Divorce Lawyer? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/worried-about-your-divorce-lawyer-delays-bills-and/id1503451022?i=1000792296761
Do I Really Need a Lawyer? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/do-i-really-need-a-lawyer-for-my-divorce-or-defacto/id1503451022?i=1000769729536
Disclosure: The What, Why, When & How – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/disclosure-the-what-why-when-how-of-disclosure/id1503451022?i=1000608265425
Percentages in Property Settlements Explained – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/percentages-in-divorce-property-settlements-explained/id1503451022?i=1000729446519
Big or Small Property Pool? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/big-or-small-property-pool-how-size-changes-your-divorce/id1503451022?i=1000777815540
4 Ways to Agree (Ep 333) – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/4-ways-to-agree-in-divorce-or-de-facto-separation/id1503451022?i=1000783951018
🔗 Links & Resources
DIY Divorce Blueprint + Family Court Companion Course waitlist – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
Section 90 Family Law Act (stamp duty) – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s90.html
 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat"🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog

🎧 Listen to this episode if…
- You've just found out your ex was cheating – and your lawyer doesn't seem to care
- You're wondering if the affair changes your property settlement
- You're combing through disclosure for gifts, hotels and a money trail
- You're scared of being painted as the "jealous ex" in family court
- Your ex's new partner is suddenly part of your kids' lives
⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances.
🛟 This episode discusses emotional abuse, gaslighting and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14.
Mum and I unpack the question  "my ex cheated – does it actually matter?"  We cover wastage of joint money, proving the money trail in disclosure, negotiating while you're hurt (without swinging from give-up to revenge), the traps around kids and the new partner, and why your reaction – not their cheating – is what the court ends up watching. Plus the cases Gollings & Scott and Tajani & Tajani
⏱️ Episode Timeline
00:00 – My Ex Cheated: Does It Actually Matter in Divorce?
01:00 – From Private Investigators to No-Fault Divorce in Australia
04:00 – The Emotional Hit: Gaslighting, Paranoia and Flashbacks
06:00 – Two Separate Recoveries: Healing vs the Legal Process
08:00 – What the Court Cares About: Joint Money Spent on an Affair
10:00 – STIs and When Cheating Crosses Into Abusive Behaviour
12:00 – Before, During, After: When Affair Spending Counts
13:00 – The Judge's Range: How Conduct Can Lift Your Percentage
14:00 – Proving It: Gifts, Hotels and the Money Trail in Disclosure
17:00 – The Hat Trick: Separating Heartbreak From Strategy
18:00 – Negotiating While Hurt: The Two Traps
19:00 – The Pendulum Effect: Give Up, Fair or Everything
21:00 – Guilty Exes and Generous Offers: Grab Them or Not?
23:00 – Negotiating to Punish and the "Jealous Ex" Label
26:00 – The Five Stages of Grief After Betrayal
28:00 – Adjustment Disorder and Family Reports
30:00 – Co-Parenting With the Affair Partner
31:00 – New Partners in Parenting: Subpoenas and Safety Checks
33:00 – How Soon Is Too Soon to Introduce a New Partner?
38:00 – Don't Interrogate the Kids: The Car Ride Strategy
44:00 – Rapid Fire: Affairs Before, During and Under One Roof
45:00 – Onerous Contributions, De Facto Overlaps and Tajani & Tajani
48:00 – Two Property Settlements, Filing First and the Family Home
51:00 – Does a New Partner's Income Affect Your Settlement?
53:00 – The Biggest Takeaway: Adjustments, Not Revenge
🎧 Episodes Mentioned
Are We De Facto? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/are-we-de-facto-what-it-could-mean-for-property/id1503451022?i=1000743246854
Property or Parenting First? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/property-or-parenting-first-does-the-order-actually/id1503451022?i=1000782876028
Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship  https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-vs-a-bad-relationship-how-to-tell/id1503451022?i=1000774925805
Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-domestic-violence-in-family-court/id1503451022?i=1000764231660
🔗 Links & Resources
Family Law Act 1975 – Section 79 – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html
📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000
🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat"
🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog
If this episode helped you understand what cheating does and doesn't change in your divorce, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side.

🎧 Listen to this episode if…
- You dread every text from your ex and screenshot messages "just in case"
- Your co-parent avoids, delays or denies every conversation that matters
- You can't get a straight yes or no 
- You carry the mental load of every reminder, newsletter and schedule
- You've been told to "document everything" and want it done automatically
⚠️ General information only not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances.
🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14.
unpack the co-parenting app that courts here actually trust. 
⏱️ Episode Timeline
00:00 – Dreading Texts From Your Ex? Why You Need This Episode
01:00 – Meet Erin Green From OurFamilyWizard Australia
02:00 – Why Avoidant Co-Parents Stop Communicating
05:00 – The Amicable Trap: Becoming the Communication Manager
07:00 – What Is OurFamilyWizard? The Co-Parenting App Explained
08:00 – Uneditable, Encrypted Records vs Deleted Text Messages
10:00 – Calls Feature: Transcripts and Documented Call Activity
11:00 – Family Violence Orders: Calling Without Sharing Your Number
12:00 – The Shared Calendar and Change Requests Without Drama
15:00 – Expense Tracking: Invoices, Receipts and Proof for Court
17:00 – The Info Bank: Schools, Medications and Clothing Sizes
18:00 – Who Uses OurFamilyWizard (And When Courts Order It)
20:00 – Putting the App in Your Consent Orders
21:00 – Timestamped Messages: No Deleting, No Rewriting History
22:00 – Free Divorce Webinar With Laura & Lyn
23:00 – Court-Admissible PDFs and Professional Access
25:00 – The AI Writing Assistant That Flags Escalating Language
27:00 – Message Search + Safety for Survivors of Abuse
29:00 – Word Salad, Yes-or-No Requests and Coercive Control
31:00 – Check-Ins and Location Privacy After Family Violence
33:00 – A Tool, Not a Safety Plan: Tech Stalking Reminders
34:00 – What If Your Ex Refuses to Use a Co-Parenting App?
36:00 – Protection Orders, Mediation and Raising the App
37:00 – Fee Waivers for Family Violence and Financial Duress
38:00 – Defence Force Discount Explained
40:00 – OurFamilyWizard Cost: Essentials, Premium and Max
43:00 – Erin's Best Advice: Pause Before You Reply
44:00 – What to Embroider on a Cushion This Week
🎧 Episodes Mentioned
Coercive Control and Your Kids – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-and-your-kids-how-to-protect-your/id1503451022?i=1000777679728
Co-Parenting With a High Conflict, Narcissistic or Avoidant Ex – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-how-to-successfully-do-it-even-with-a/id1503451022?i=1000559535573
Take the Divorce Personality Quiz – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/take-the-divorce-personality-quiz-learn-why-your/id1503451022?i=1000748290587
Is Your Ex Watching You? Coercive Control Goes Digital – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/is-your-ex-watching-you-coercive-control-goes-digital/id1503451022?i=1000758578403
Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need One – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/from-fear-to-freedom-creating-a-safety-plan-before/id1503451022?i=1000741625311
Co-Parenting Without Court Orders – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-without-court-orders-the-real-rules-and/id1503451022?i=1000735234386
🔗 Links & Resources
OurFamilyWizard Australia – https://www.ourfamilywizard.com.au
Fee waiver (via your lawyer, mediator or support professional): prohelp@ourfamilywizard.com
Help using the app: info@ourfamilywizard.com
📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000
🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat"
🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog

🎧 Listen if you…
- Keep hearing "you're not getting more than 50/50" from your ex
- Are stuck yelling percentages at each other and getting nowhere
- Feel greedy asking for what's actually fair
- Want your proposal backed by real law before mediation
 
⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer. 🛟 This episode discusses coercive control and duress. In danger? Call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).
 
In this episode we show you how to build your case the way the court does  contributions, then current and future circumstances then get your ex's buy-in fact by fact, and back it all with legislation and recent cases (including Mum's AustLII "note up" trick). Plus the mindset work, the "amicable" trap, and my cringe-but-effective strategy
 
⏱️ CHAPTERS
00:00 – Ex Says 50/50 or Nothing? How to Negotiate More
02:00 – Why Exes Refuse: The Win–Lose Business Mindset
03:40 – Mum's #1 Rule: Never Negotiate in Percentages
06:00 – The Court Case That Proves Percentages Backfire
07:30 – What the Family Court Actually Does in Property Settlement
08:30 – The Five-Step Property Settlement Process
10:00 – Big vs Small Property Pools: Why Adjustments Differ
11:45 – Is More Than 50% Greedy? When 50/50 Actually Happens
16:00 – Get Your Mindset Sorted Before You Negotiate
18:00 – "Who Died and Made Them Boss?"
19:30 – The Future Self Test and Negotiation Fatigue
21:00 – Why Wanting to Be "Amicable" Can Be a Trap
23:30 – Laura's Divorce Vision Board (Cringe but It Worked)
25:45 – Financial Contributions: The Polythene Pipe Analogy
28:00 – Non-Financial, Homemaking and Parenting Contributions
29:45 – Post-Separation Contributions and Common Shenanigans
32:00 – Contributions and Future Needs in the Family Law Act
36:30 – Putting It in Writing: Getting Buy-In Fact by Fact
38:30 – The AustLII Note-Up Trick for Backing It With Law
42:00 – When They Stop Negotiating or Lawyer Up
43:30 – Reframing the Deal: "50/50 of What?"
46:15 – Rapid Fire: Delete "Amicable", Say "Fair" Instead
48:45 – The Superannuation Equalising Trap and the Give-In Wall
52:45 – "I Won't Leave Until You Sign": Duress, Safety and 1800 RESPECT
56:45 – Embroider It on a Cushion: Your Fair Future
 
🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED
Percentages in Divorce Property Settlements Explained – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/percentages-in-divorce-property-settlements-explained/id1503451022?i=1000729446519
Pitfalls of Premature Percentage Negotiations – https://open.spotify.com/episode/6bxTgrdymCeW16Q7z5njUe
Big or Small Property Pool? – https://open.spotify.com/episode/697VeO4FrXQt9LYaabHtUC
BATNA in Divorce – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/batna-in-divorce-how-to-negotiate-property-and/id1503451022?i=1000719715152
Coercive Control & DV in Family Court – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-domestic-violence-in-family-court/id1503451022?i=1000764231660
Super Split Myths – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/super-split-myths-why-equalising-isnt-always-fair-in/id1503451022?i=1000708394387
Convincing the Unconvincible – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/convincing-the-unconvincible-in-divorce-negotiations/id1503451022?i=1000526927752
 
📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | Police – 000
⚖️ Family Law Act 1975 s79 – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html
🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
 
If this helped, please follow, rate, review and share so others can find it too.
All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side