Ep 20. Real Safety vs. Fake Safety (And Why You Never Feel Calm for Long)
What if the real reason you’re spiraling isn’t the task, the deadline, or the flop—but your nervous system?In this episode, I’m joined by my husband Ryan for a candid convo about fake safety vs. real safety, what it means to feel grounded in your body when everything feels like it’s falling apart, and why regulating your nervous system before taking action changes everything.We dive into performance pressure at work, ADHD spirals, and why many of us only feel safe after the thing is solved—aka conditional safety. I also walk you through how the Untamed Freedom Formula helps you build real, unconditional safety inside your body using the four phases: Relearn, Reflect, Release, and Respond.You’ll hear how Ryan applied parts work (hello, inner watchdog 🐶), real-life examples from his high-stress corporate job, and why crying, swaying, or humming might be the real productivity hacks no one’s talking about.If you’ve ever felt like you were spiraling over something that “shouldn’t be a big deal,” this episode is a must-listen.🔍 In this episode, you’ll learn:What fake safety looks like (and how we mistake it for regulation) (1:55)How tying your worth to performance starts way before adulthood (9:13)The concept of “the inner watchdog” and why talking to your parts works (4:11)What parts work actually is and how ADHD Untamed teaches it in practice (5:44)Ryan’s experience navigating performance pressure as a corporate recruiter (7:36)How real safety can’t be found in external wins (like a filled role or a viral post) (11:15)Why nervous system regulation isn’t about logic (it’s about embodiment) (14:56)The four phases of the Untamed Freedom Formula and how to apply them (15:45)The analogy of “the overflowing cup” and what to do when you’re about to snap (23:01)Tools that actually help: humming, rocking, compassion, curiosity, and guided audios (18:31)🌱 Ready to go deeper?Enrollment for ADHD Untamed is OPEN!This is the only program that blends science, spirituality, and real talk to help you radically accept your ADHD, stop self-abandoning, and start building a life that works for your brain.✨ Get instant access to the Untamed Freedom Formula✨ Weekly live coaching calls with Ana✨ Somatic tools, guided meditations, and more✨ Private community + podcast for on-the-go supportJoin now: https://www.anaurban.com/adhd-untamed🎧 Listen + SubscribeIf this episode resonated, share it with a friend, leave a review, or tag me on Instagram @ana.urban.coach and tell me your biggest takeaway!🎙️ The Wildly Different Podcast is here to remind you that you're not broken. You’re just wildly different. And that’s the magic.