3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

There is a specific kind of worry that lives in the back of most mothers' minds —the worry that we're not doing it right. That somewhere in the gap between who we are and who we wish we were, our kids are absorbing something we never meant to give them: our unresolved stuff. Our triggers, our patterns, the things from our own childhoods that we're still working through. Is all of that making its way to our children?

The uncomfortable truth is that some of it will. That's just the reality of being parented by a human. But what Eli Harwood taught me in this conversation is that parenthood itself is a developmental stage, which means we are not finished, and the work we do on ourselves is one of the most profound gifts we can give our children.

This week's guest is Eli Harwood, licensed therapist, author, and creator of Attachment Nerd.In this conversation, Eli shares why doing the deep inner work of understanding your own emotional world isn't just good for you — it's the foundation of everything your kids actually need from you.

In this episode, you'll hear Eli share:

💜 Why she built an asterisk right into her book title (you'll love her reasoning!)

💜 What it means when she says our kids can't rely on us for needs we haven't learned to meet in ourselves

💜 What she said to her child after being barky and short at the end of a long day

If you have ever looked at your kids and felt that specific worry that you might be getting this wrong, I think you're going to find my conversation with Eli both honest and deeply freeing.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Related Episodes:

415: How to Get Help for Mental Illness // Sarah McKenna

458: Three Simple Phrases Your Kids Need to Hear from You // Eli Harwood

387: Why Calming Yourself Helps Calm Your Child // Eli Harwood, MA, LPC

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I have been a striver my entire life — the kind of person who color-coded her notes, lost sleep to get straight A's, and genuinely believed that doing more and finishing faster was just who she was. Until the season when it didn't work anymore, and I found myself wondering if what I actually needed wasn't a better system, but permission to put some things down.

This week's guest is Yvette Henry, author of Release, Rest, Remain: A 30-Day Devotional to Embrace Abiding Over Striving. In this episode, she gives language to something I think so many of us moms carry but rarely take the time to name — and a rhythm for living that actually feels sustainable.

A note: this is a faith-rooted conversation, which isn't my typical format — but the three takeaways Yvette shares are for every mother, regardless of where you land spiritually.

In this episode, you'll hear:

🤍 Why the tiredness you're feeling might have nothing to do with sleep — and the seven types of rest that actually replenish you

🤍 The glass ball and rubber ball framework — and how to tell the difference between what you need to protect and what you can safely let fall

🤍 What it can look like to remain present in your own life, even on the most ordinary days

Presence is not a reward for finished productivity — it's available to you right now, in whatever ordinary moment you're standing in. I hope this episode reminds you of that.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Related Episodes: 441: Self-Care for Moms That Actually Works // Mia Hemstad466: Permission to Pause129: Rethinking Meditation as Busy Moms // Dr. Leah Weiss

 

 

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Happy 3 in 30 Day, my friends! Today is March 30th — which, numerically, is 3/30 — and years ago I dubbed this our national holiday.

When I started 3 in 30, I did not set out to build a community. I was a busy mom who desperately wanted a parenting resource that would just get to the point already — and when I couldn't find one, I sat down at my kitchen table with a cheap microphone and created it. What I did not anticipate is that moms all over the world would listen, and that through it all, something that genuinely feels like a community would grow up around this little show.

To celebrate, I asked the 3 in 30 community to send in voice messages and written notes about their favorite episodes and why those episodes mattered. In today's episode, you'll hear eight of those messages — each one followed by a short clip from the episode being mentioned.

In this episode, you'll hear:

🎙️ A mom who finally stopped feeling guilty about resting — all because of one permission-giving line from one of our guests

🎙️ A mom who was walking alone during COVID when an episode about mom guilt made her feel, for the first time, like someone understood exactly what she was going through

🎙️ A mom who lost her mother years ago and started a food tradition with her own children after hearing an episode about keeping a loved one's memory alive — and how her kids now ask for it every year

Almost nine years of getting to the point and actually helping busy moms in the trenches. That's what this community is, and I'm so grateful it exists — and that there is so much good here waiting for you whenever you need it.

For full show notes click here.

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Featured Episodes:

293: Rethinking Housework // KC Davis

469: 3 Ways to Lighten the Load of Motherhood // Greg McKeown

24: Fighting Against Mom Guilt

186: Helping your Children Connect with Someone You've Loved & Lost // Dara Kurtz

461: "I Hate You, Mom" — How to Respond When Holiday Stress Brings Big Emotions

415: How to Get Help for Mental Illness // Sarah McKenna

416: When Someone You Love Struggles with Mental Health // Logan McKenna

433: Making Friends as a Mom: Why It's Hard — and How to Do It Anyway // Dr. Marisa G. Franco

118: How to Raise Confident Children // Marilyn Faulkner

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Skylight: Right now, get $30 off the 15-inch Calendar at MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS.

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Spring is a season I genuinely love, but it also has a way of sneaking up on me. One minute I'm enjoying the slower pace of winter, and the next I'm looking at my calendar wondering when it got so full. If you're coming off of Spring Break trying to find your footing again, or you can already see Maycember on the horizon and feel your shoulders creeping up toward your ears, this episode is for you.

A few years ago, during one of those stretched-thin, running-on-fumes seasons, I shared three things that were genuinely helping me stay sane. I went back and listened recently and thought, these are still so good, and I wanted to share them again, because I think we could all use some practical tools to reach for when life piles up.

In this episode, you'll learn:

🌸 The simple two-column list that cuts through mental overwhelm and tells you exactly what actually has to get done (and what can wait)

🌸 Why choosing just three non-negotiable soul care essentials — even tiny ones — can be the thing that holds you together during your busiest weeks

🌸 The mindset shift that keeps the spiral at bay, and why what you say to yourself during hard seasons matters more than almost anything else

And one more thing worth mentioning — this episode is less than 15 minutes long. So if you're already feeling the busyness piling up and the idea of a full episode feels like one more thing on your list, this one was made for exactly that moment. Short, sweet, and full of things you can actually use.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Related Episodes:

353: How to Declutter Your Busy Schedule // Miranda Anderson

333: How Can a Busy Mother Get Back to the Essentials?

463: What If Your Only New Year Goal Was to Let Go of the Shoulds?

 

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Last week, I found out that one of my kids' teachers unexpectedly lost her husband in a car accident. She's in her early 30s with a toddler, and when I was telling Ryan, I just started to cry. I don't often cry, so it surprised both of us a little. The truth is, I was crying for her — and for all of the heaviness that has been building in my heart for months. The political division, the international conflicts, the injustice — it has felt like a lot lately.

My teenage son sometimes says to me when we talk about hard things, "Mom, why does life have to be so hard?" And I tell him, "I don't know, Buddy. But you're right — and I also know that it is beautiful too."This week's guest is Shannan Martin, bestselling author of the brand new book Counterweights, and she has a practice for holding both of those things at once.

In this episode, you'll learn:

💜 Why Shannan writes down both the weights AND the counterweights every night — and what happens when you hold them together on the same page

💜 Why Shannan (a self-described introvert) pushes herself to gather people in her home regularly — and the surprisingly low bar she sets to make it actually happen

💜 The tiny silver fork that has become one of her most treasured daily rituals (you'll understand when you hear it)

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements: March 30th is 3 in 30 Day — and this year I'm celebrating by highlighting YOU! Share your favorite episode and its impact at 3in30podcast.com/tellrachel before March 20th, and your message may be woven into a very special episode.

Related Episodes:

424: When LIFE Doesn't Turn Out as Planned // Jessica N. Turner

401: How Radical Gratitude Can Change Your Life // Dr. Tanmeet Sethi

390: Living with Grief without Losing Yourself // Shelby Quinlan

Sponsors:

Shopify: It's time to turn those "What Ifs" into ✦[CHA CHING]✦ with Shopify today. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial at shopify.com/3in30.

BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy.

AirDoctor: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code 3in30 to get up TO $300 off today! AirDoctor comes with a 30-day money back guarantee, plus a 3-year warranty—an $84 value, free!

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