Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

Karla Adkins was successful, active in church, and working in health care—and yet she was dying from alcohol-related liver failure. When Karla’s doctor called and asked if she was OK, Karla said she thought she was dying. Her doctor was honest: “I think you are too.”
Yet even surviving liver failure wasn’t enough to make Karla stop drinking and find true freedom. Months later, she returned to drinking because she had never addressed the reasons she needed alcohol in the first place.
In this episode, the author and sobriety coach joins host Jon Seidl to discuss alcohol addiction, anxiety, relapse, and the comparison trap that keeps people convinced their drinking isn’t bad enough to be a "real" problem.
Karla also shares how she gave alcohol jobs, why shame kept her silent, and how science, compassionate support, radical vulnerability, and above all her faith in Jesus helped her pursue something deeper than sobriety.
Get Karla's book: And She Came Tumbling Down: Breaking the Bonds of Alcohol and Creating a Life of Freedom
Visit Karla's website
Follow Karla on Instagram: @karlakadkins
Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.org
Follow Jon: @jonseidl
Order Jon's book: Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic
Watch this episode ad-free at The Vertias Daily

We explore:
— How anxiety first made alcohol feel like an answer for Karla
— What it means to give alcohol a “job”
— Why successful people can still experience life-threatening addiction
— How cognitive dissonance allows us to explain away dangerous drinking
— Why comparing quantities can keep people from seeking help
— The moment Karla discovered that her liver was failing
— Why shame made exposure feel more frightening than death
— How Karla returned to alcohol after her first hospitalization
— Why consequences alone cannot create lasting freedom
— What alcohol does to anxiety, sleep, and the brain
— The importance of compassionate, judgment-free support
— Why sobriety and freedom are not the same thing
— How science, community, vulnerability, and faith can work together
— What Gospel-centered recovery offers beyond “just pray more”
Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/
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When chronic illness took away Natasha Kennedy’s ability to eat, alcohol became the one comfort she believed she had left. Instead of gorging on food, alcohol became her new gluttony. The illustrator behind the beloved children's FatCat series and author of the incredible new book Lacking Nothing: The Year I Lost My Ability to Eat and Found Satisfaction in Christ joins Jon Seidl for an unflinching conversation about alcohol addiction, chronic pain, Christian recovery, fasting, and finding satisfaction in Christ when life leaves an aching emptiness.
Natasha was still seeking Jesus, encouraging others, raising her children, and trying to remain faithful. But she had quietly given alcohol a job: It was her reward, her pain relief, her escape, and the one thing she believed she still deserved.
Then her husband came home during a freezing power outage and found their young daughter outside in only a diaper. Natasha could no longer avoid what alcohol was costing her.
She and Jon discuss the lie that alcohol makes life better, why removing one addiction can leave us vulnerable to another, and what Natasha calls a “fasting mindset”—the daily decision to experience lack without immediately numbing or filling it.
Her story isn’t about suffering disappearing. It’s about discovering, in the middle of pain and ongoing illness, that Jesus isn’t merely enough. He is the feast.
Get Natasha's new book: Lacking Nothing: The Year I Lost My Ability to Eat and Found Satisfaction in Christ
Visit Natasha's website
Follow Natasha on Instagram: @natashakennedu
Heather Kopp's book: Sober Mercies
Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.org
Follow Jon: @jonseidl
Order Jon's book: Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic
Watch this episode ad-free at The Vertias Daily

We explore:
— How chronic illness caused Natasha to lose her ability to eat
— Why losing food involved grief, identity, creativity, and comfort
— How alcohol became Natasha’s reward, medication, and escape
— Why active Christian faith does not make someone immune to addiction
— The night Natasha realized her drinking was endangering her children
— Why eliminating one coping mechanism can lead us to replace it with another
— What Natasha means by developing a “fasting mindset”
— How her husband and friends supported her recovery
— The lie that alcohol makes life better
— Why recovery allowed Natasha to become more present for her family
— Finding satisfaction in Christ while pain and chronic illness continue
— Why addressing addiction today is less costly than waiting for tomorrow
Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/
Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What do you do when you love someone who won't stop drinking or give up their addiction? Dr. Brenda Fann Katula knows that frustration well. She understood alcohol addiction, withdrawal, and relapse. But none of that could fix her husband.
In Part 2 of this two-part interview, Brenda takes us through the final stage of her former husband's destructive behavior. From an intervention, to hallucinations, to putting on a front and doing what she could to protect her kids.
But more important than the story, she explains her deepest crisis from this period: her spiritual one. Angry that God hadn’t healed her husband or restored their family, Brenda stopped praying personal prayers and tried to solve everything herself—until exhaustion forced her to surrender. She eventually recognized, though, that her prayers had an interesting through line: they all focused almost entirely on changing her husband rather than asking God for the healing, strength, and wisdom she needed.
We talk about her faith, her frustration, and her final surrender.
We also discuss boundaries, gaslighting, unanswered prayer, repeated forgiveness, identity in Christ, and the thing her husband left behind that went from a painful reminder to a powerful retreat.
This important interview is crucial for friends and family members looking for hope.
Listen to Part 1 here.
Follow Brenda on Instagram: @brendafannkatula
Article: What does it actually look like to forgive?
Get Caroline Beidler's book for loved ones, When You Love Someone in Recovery
Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.org
Follow me: @jonseidl
Order my book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic
Watch this episode ad-free at The Vertias Daily

We explore:
— Why Brenda staged an intervention after her husband threatened to drive to daycare intoxicated
— How severe alcohol withdrawal led to hallucinations, a hospital escape, and an ICU ventilator
— Why Brenda pressured a doctor to keep her husband from driving their children
— What happened when unanswered prayer became anger at God
— How Brenda’s prayers shifted from changing her husband to asking God to heal and strengthen her
— Why recognizing gaslighting doesn’t eliminate the need for personal self-examination
— How forgiveness can be repeated without calling the damage acceptable
— Why her husband’s alcoholism increased her empathy for patients with addiction
— How an unfinished treehouse became a place of study, service, and redemption
Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/
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Dr. Brenda Fann Katula knew how to recognize alcohol addiction in an exam room. But when alcoholism took over her own home, the family physician who understood the diagnosis could not figure out how to make her husband choose sobriety—or explain to her nine-year-old son why Daddy wouldn't stop drinking.
The warning signs had been there from the beginning, like the handle of rum she expected to last for weeks disappearing in a weekend. Over time, his drinking escalated to a handle a day, a blood-alcohol level of 0.4 (enough to kill some people), severe withdrawal, hidden bottles, hospital stays, confused in a cornfield, and eventually death.
In Part 1 of this incredible two-part interview, Brenda explains the turning points that forced her to confront the truth, the safety plans she created for her children, and what she wishes she had done differently. She also explain one of the hardest, but most important, realizations the loved one of an addict / alcoholic can make: “I can’t work harder at his sobriety than he is."
Her husband had lost his parents and older sister in a car accident when he was ten and carried unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Now, Brenda is doing what she can to make sure the cycle of hurt, pain, and addiction doesn't claim another victim—whether that's the addict, or those he or she leaves behind.
We also talk about boundaries, enabling, church support, and what loved ones can do when they want recovery more than the person struggling does.
It's an important episode for anyone who loves someone who struggles with an addiction and is asking, "What do I do when my friend, loved one, sibling, or spouse won't stop drinking?"
Follow Brenda on Instagram: @brendafannkatula
Get Caroline Beidler's book for loved ones, When You Love Someone in Recovery
Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.org
Follow me: @jonseidl
Order my book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic
Watch this episode ad-free at The Vertias Daily

We explore:
— Why a physician could recognize alcoholism in her patients but resist seeing it in her marriage
— How childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, and PTSD contributed to her husband’s drinking
— What a 0.4 blood-alcohol level revealed about the severity of his dependence
— How gaslighting caused Brenda to question her judgment and chase his accusations
— The three moments that forced her to admit something had to change
— How Brenda protected her children without teaching them to hate their father
— Why love, medical knowledge, and hard work could not produce his sobriety
— How recovering alcoholics in their church recognized the signs and showed up
Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/
Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Podcaster Jeanette Tapley doesn’t call herself an alcoholic. But after one sober month, she realized she had a problem with her drinking—and that the second glass of wine she couldn't say no to was doing a job she was hesitant to admit: It gave her the foggy relief she wanted when life felt heavy. Her Christian faith then forced a hard question: Why did alcohol feel easier than trusting God?
"I don't have a drinking problem; I have a problem with my drinking," she explains about what she discovered.
Jeanette’s story isn’t about a dramatic rock bottom. It’s about recognizing an unhealthy relationship before it becomes a catastrophe. In this episode, she shares how grief, stress, and family pain gradually turned drinking, scrolling, and other distractions into ways of checking out. That's something we all do, isn't it?
We talk openly about boundaries, accountability, and obedience that helped Jeanette respond to conviction; why Christians often give alcohol a pass as a coping mechanism; why the Gospel invites us to get curious before the world thinks we have a problem; and also why Jeanette still has a drink from time to time.
She also opens up about leaving her successful role as a Christian podcaster, facing her fear that changing direction meant failure, and following God into an unexpected new career as a flight attendant.
Get Jeanette's newsletter: https://jeanettetapley.com
Follow her on Instagram: @jeanettefreakingtapley
Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.org
Follow me: @jonseidl
Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic
Watch this episode at The Vertias Daily

We explore:
— The difference between having a drinking problem and having a problem with your drinking— Why Jeanette wanted the foggy relief that came with a second glass of wine— How grief, stress, and family pain can gradually turn life into a series of coping mechanisms— Why immediate relief can feel easier than trusting God— The boundaries, accountability, and obedience that helped Jeanette change— Why Jeanette still drinks occasionally—and why I cannot— Leaving Christian podcasting and following God into an unexpected new career
Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/
Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.