Consider Before Consuming

This episode includes discussion of sexual violence, coercion, and experiences of assault among young people. Listener discretion is advised.
In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, we sit down with Chanel Contos, founder of Teach Us Consent, to talk about how one Instagram post led to thousands of young people sharing their experiences, and ultimately helped drive mandated consent education across Australia. Chanel shares what it was like reading through testimony after testimony of peer-on-peer sexual violence, and how those stories revealed patterns around coercion, misunderstanding, and the way many young people are navigating sex without a clear understanding of consent.
We also explore what’s shaping young people’s expectations around sex and relationships today. How are teens actually learning about intimacy? What role does pornography play in shaping ideas about consent, boundaries, and what’s considered “normal”? And why are rates of youth-perpetrated sexual harm rising in some areas, even as other forms of abuse decline? Chanel breaks down how early, age-appropriate consent education can help address these gaps, and what it looks like to teach consent in a way that builds empathy, communication, and respect from a young age.

Episode Resources:
Article: What is Inspiring Teens to Try Strangulation During Sex?
Article: Oral Before Kissing: Porn Culture Has Changed Teens’ First Sexual Encounters
Chanel's Instagram: @Chanelc
Teach Us Consent:
Fix Our Feeds
Newsletter
Instagram

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Hunter Clark was first exposed to pornography as a child. What started as curiosity eventually became a habit he struggled for years to overcome. Like many people, he tried everything he could think of to quit—willpower, accountability partners, blockers, even extreme personal challenges—but nothing seemed to work. In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, Hunter shares how shame kept him stuck in that cycle for years and how things began to change when he stopped focusing only on quitting porn and started looking at the deeper reasons behind the behavior.
In this conversation, we explore questions many people are already asking: Why is porn so hard to quit? Does shame make porn habits worse? Can pornography affect relationships? And why do so many partners blame themselves when they discover a loved one’s porn habit?
Hunter opens up about the moment he realized his struggle was connected to deeper emotional wounds, the impact pornography had on his relationship with his wife, and how honesty and open conversations helped break the isolation that shame can create. We also discuss the idea that porn habits are often a symptom of something deeper—whether that’s unresolved trauma, stress, loneliness, or other emotional struggles—and why simply trying to “have more discipline” often isn’t enough.
This episode is sponsored by Relay, a secure peer-support app that connects you with a small group of people who understand what you’re going through and help you stay accountable on your journey to quit porn. CBC listeners can try Relay free for 7 days when they sign up at http://ftnd.org/joinrelay

Episode Resources:
Article: Why Fighting Porn Must Include Fighting Shame
Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 152: Chris Chandler
Hunter's Podcast: Quit Porn with Hunter Clark
Hunter's Instagram: _hunter.clark

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Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual exploitation and child sexual abuse in an educational and prevention-focused context. Listener discretion is advised.

Dr. Alexandra Bailey is a forensic psychologist, Head of Psychology at the Lucy Faithfull Foundation, and a leading expert in the prevention of child sexual abuse.
In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, she shares how harmful online behaviors can develop, and how pornography can play a role in that process for some individuals. As content has become more accessible, anonymous, and extreme, we explore how patterns of use can shift over time, including desensitization, novelty-seeking, and reinforcement.
We also talk about how the internet and emerging technologies like AI are changing the landscape, and how factors like shame, isolation, and mental health can keep people stuck in harmful cycles.
Most importantly, this conversation focuses on prevention—what it looks like, why it matters, and how resources like Stop It Now are helping people seek support before harm happens.
Along the way, we get into questions people are already asking: Does porn escalate? Why do I need more extreme porn? Is AI porn harmful? What should parents know about porn, sexting, and online safety?

Episode Resources:
Article: Can Porn Use Escalate to Illegal Content? What Research and Real Stories Show
Conversation Blueprint: Let's Talk About Porn
The Lucy Faithfull Foundation: Stop It Now
Research Paper: What's Porn Got To Do With It

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Matthew Raabsmith is a certified professional coach and relationship specialist, and Joanna Raabsmith is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in trauma and betrayal recovery. Together, they co-lead The Raabsmith Team and help couples rebuild connection after addiction and relational pain.
After pornography addiction and secrecy deeply impacted their marriage, Matthew and Joanna began a recovery journey that transformed both their individual lives and their relationship. In this episode, they share what porn addiction actually did to their emotional intimacy, how betrayal trauma affected Joanna’s sense of safety and identity, and why stopping porn was only the beginning of healing.
They address questions many couples quietly wrestle with: What does pornography do to a marriage over time? Can a relationship survive porn addiction? What is betrayal trauma, and why does it feel so devastating?
Matthew and Joanna explain why honesty must come before trust, why rushing forgiveness can create more harm, and what sustainable recovery really looks like for both partners.
Whether you’re navigating betrayal, struggling with porn use, or hoping to build a healthier relationship in the future, this conversation offers clarity and grounded hope.

Episode Resources:
Article: When Porn Use Shatters Trust: A Therapist Explains Betrayal Trauma
Video: Our Experience on Porn Recovery and Betrayal Trauma
Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 94: Dr. Jill Manning
Matthew and Joanna's Website: The Raabsmith Team

This episode is sponsored by Relay, a secure peer-support app that connects you with a small group of people who understand what you’re going through and help you stay accountable on your journey to quit porn. CBC listeners can try Relay free for 7 days when they sign up at http://ftnd.org/joinrelay

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Mariah is a policy advocate focused on trafficking and online exploitation, the founder of Undox, and a GirlsDoPorn trafficking survivor. In this episode, she shares her story and what survival looked like inside a situation shaped by deception, fear, and coercion.
Mariah describes how she was recruited under false pretenses, how quickly the reality of the situation shifted, and how isolation and uncertainty shaped the choices she felt she had. She explains how trauma responses like the fawn response became a way to get through moments when resisting or leaving didn’t feel safe, and why behaviors that may appear like consent from the outside often aren’t.
She also reflects on the long aftermath of exploitation: living with nonconsensual content online, carrying guilt for the ways she survived, and being drawn back in after initially getting out. Over time, Mariah shares how her understanding of herself and other survivors was shaped. Through connection, witness, and advocacy, she came to recognize the strength, intelligence, and resilience it takes not only to survive exploitation, but to keep going afterward. That perspective has helped shape her healing and her decision to support others through survivor-led work.
Why don’t victims just leave? How does sex trafficking actually happen in cases like GirlsDoPorn? And why do some survivors appear to comply or return? Mariah’s story offers a clearer picture.

Episode Resources:
Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 78: Jane Doe (Part 1)
Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 78: Jane Doe (Part 2)
Mariah's: Content Removal Site: Undox
Generate Hope
Victim Resources

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