Do Not Scratch Your Eyes

Watford somehow turn a first half described variously as “dog shit”, “abject” and “turgid” into a 2–1 win over Preston. We discuss a victory apparently retrieved from several feet inside the jaws of defeat, an enormous intervention from Federico Ravaglia and whether Alessio Dionisi’s greatest achievement was changing the game — or simply surviving the opening 45 minutes without setting fire to his tactics board.

Then the cavalry arrive. Mamadou Doumbia finally gets his reward, Mavadidi and Maammaa add some much-needed attacking intent, and Iker Bravo produces the sort of performance that causes perfectly rational football supporters to become extremely irrational indeed - bordering on weepy. We ask whether we spend too much time worrying about the starting XI rather than the finishing XI, while continuing the slightly inconvenient debate about squad depth, injuries and having two goalkeepers on an eight-man bench.

Finally, callers make their way home through an increasingly detailed tour of Britain’s motorway networkv& Football Manager produces Watford’s first major trophy before inevitably sacking the bloke who won it. Three points, a manager prepared to roll the dice and, for once, Watford beating the team everyone expected them to help back into form. What is this, some kind of sorcery?

COYH!!

This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes.

Huge thanks to all our Patreons:

Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!!

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Watford welcome Stoke with the season already threatening to turn from a run into a trend and a trend into a crisis — which at Watford traditionally takes about half an hour. We look back at the late-window recruitment, an injury list doing its best impression of a subscription service, and a manager apparently squeezing rather more from the squad than the squad-building process deserves.Then it’s over to old friend Tunnie from Every Step Along The Way, with Stoke having started badly before discovering the novel concept of winning football matches. We discuss their midfield overhaul, George Hurst, Ethan Galbraith, the wonderfully named Luca Bombino, Nathan Jones being Nathan Jones, and an away kit inspired by the Spitfire which may either celebrate local heritage or simply render half the Stoke team invisible.Finally, the Completely Rubbish Prediction League descends into open civil war. Dice Dons have emerged as the Phoenix club, the Gods of Backgammon are furious, dice are suddenly being eschewed in favour of gardening gloves, mushrooms and agricultural equipment, and accusations begin flying before anybody has actually achieved anything. AFC Wimbledon versus MK Dons had nothing on this!

COYH!!

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Preston at home, so we’re joined once again by Ollie from the Butter Pie Podcast, who arrives “living the dream” while Preston sit pointless at the bottom of the Championship before Saturday win over Blackburn. We discuss former Hornet Caleb Wiley providing one small glimmer of hope, the loss of Ben Whiteman and Milutin Osmajić, and a rebuilt strike force currently boasting the reassuring total of one Championship goal between them.

There are promising noises about Léo Leroy and Preston’s right-hand side, considerably fewer about Dilano Burgzorg — currently described as “more like Zoidberg from Futurama” — while Ollie admits they’ve been “absolutely honking.” Remarkably, two sets of supporters then bond over questionable recruitment, injured signings and the exciting possibility that neither club entirely knows what it has assembled.

Finally, the Completely Rubbish Prediction League faces perhaps its greatest constitutional crisis yet (and there's been a few to choose from). Original Backgammon FC founder John Parslow returns with a proposal involving a Phoenix club, some dice, a cardboard box and extremely limited resources. With the league currently consisting of five teams, the potentially momentous decision over whether it expands to six is handed, entirely reasonably, to Preston supporter Ollie. What could possibly go wrong?

COYH!!

This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes.

Huge thanks to all our Patreons:

Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!!

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Part Two begins with Groundhog Day looming and the discovery that Dionisi may be approaching the Rob Edwards Barometer considerably earlier than anybody wanted. Tuesday therefore becomes Huge Day, before being upgraded to Super Huge Day, while the proposed tactical solution to Watford’s goalscoring problem is eventually refined to Mattie Pollock at the back and nine forwards. Guardiola presumably taking notes.

We also receive possible divine intervention: John has a priest friend coming over from America who supported Watford through the Graham Taylor years and may therefore possess exactly the Championship experience the recruitment department forgot to buy. Elsewhere, injured dogs are identified as potential free-agent full-backs, Rocco Vata is considered at wing-back and Myron Boadu is asked to concentrate very specifically on thinking inside the box.

Finally, Adam describes the club as “circus, clowns”, Kaiden awards Watford’s transfer window a GCSE grade 3, offers to sign Dave from down the road for midfield and calls Scott Duxbury something unlikely to appear in the official club podcast. After two hours discussing a 1–0 defeat we thought might fill one, the conclusion is simple: the football’s better, the squad’s held together with Blu Tack, and somehow we still quite like the team

COYH!!

This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes.

Huge thanks to all our Patreons:

Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!!

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Watford lose 1–0 at West Brom, but apparently we’re now a much more likeable team, which is fortunate because we’re becoming increasingly difficult to assemble. Four injured full-backs means Albert Eames gets introduced to Championship football at the Hawthorns, Kayembe becomes an emergency left-back and Dionisi starts eyeing the crowd to see if anybody has brought boots.

There are encouraging debuts for Koulibaly and Mavididi, concern as Bove goes down injured, and several callers conclude that Watford are actually playing quite well — apart from the increasingly inconvenient business of scoring goals. Meanwhile, Kebben’s distribution is compared to wearing Toblerones for football boots and Ron conducts part of his analysis while taking his son to a Pokémon shop.

Naturally, this develops into Manchester City’s academy system, Stoke’s ownership, financial regulation, EPPP, Scott Duxbury’s interpretation of the English language and whether Watford’s recruitment policy involves rummaging through a skip for slightly damaged footballers. Five games into the season, we’ve already reached “is Tuesday enormous?” territory. Completely normal. Nothing to see here.

COYH!!

This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes.

Huge thanks to all our Patreons:

Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Lavender, Kasey Brown, Nipper Harrison, Boyd Mayover, Colin Payne, Paul Riley, Gary Wood, Karl Campion, Kevin Cremen, The Big Le – Bofski, Greg Theaker, Malcolm Williams, Peter Ryan, John Thekanady - Ambassador of Dubai!! Jack Foster, Jason Rose, Michael Abrahams, Ian Bacon, Ken Green, Nick Nieuwland, Colin Smith Ant!!!!! Westlie Wheeler, Stephen Atkinson, John Myers, Ryan D! Dave Mullins, James McNamara, Jim Cuthbert, Peter Birch, John Myers, Richard Pyne, Vydra Deeney!!! &PDF!!!

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