615 episodes
- We're deep in our month on shadow work, and this one gets personal. Your shadow is the part of you that you'd rather not look at, the old reactions, fears, and wounds running beneath the surface, formed long before you ever met your spouse. And here's the catch: what we won't look at, we tend to act out, usually on the person closest to us. In this episode Christa explores how your shadow shows up in marriage, the overreaction that's bigger than the moment, the story you tell about your spouse that's really about your old wounds, the pattern you swore you'd never repeat. Your spouse often isn't the real problem, they're the screen your shadow gets projected onto. But there's freedom here: when you own your shadow, you stop handing your spouse the blame for what's yours to heal, and the marriage you want may be closer than you think, waiting on the other side of the part of yourself you've been avoiding. Watch on YouTube!
Get inside the Enneagram and Marriage Coaching and Masterclass classroom here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass Use the code COACH for $250 off - or - use a payment plan!!
Get inside the FREE Wholehearted Summit for Weary Women Sept 9-11 here! http://www.simplywholehearted.com/a/2148302131/MhoTboBT
Find Amy here at her website! www.simplywholehearted.com
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com
Love what you're learning on E + M?
Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices - Addiction rarely stays in one person, it touches the whole family, and it casts a long shadow over marriages, parents, children, and homes. As we continue our month on shadow work, Christa welcomes Caroline Beidler, author, speaker, and Managing Editor of Recovery.com, for an honest and hopeful conversation about loving someone in recovery, with a non-shaming yet healthy boundaried stance as needed. Drawing on her new book and her own lived experience of addiction, mental health, and trauma recovery, Caroline speaks with the warmth, grit, and insight her readers know her for in her Type 1w9 gift of goodness and active peace. Together, we explore what it means to love someone through addiction and recovery without losing yourself, how the shadow of addiction shapes a family's patterns and roles, the boundaries that protect both love and safety, and where real hope and healing take root! Whether addiction has touched your family directly or you walk alongside someone whose has, this conversation will meet you with compassion and light. Listen here! Watch on YouTube!
Get Caroline's helpful book here, When You Love Someone in Recovery! https://a.co/d/0faMBOJI
Find Caroline on www.recovery.com
Get inside the Enneagram and Marriage Coaching and Masterclass classroom here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass Use the code COACH for $250 off - or - use a payment plan!!
Get inside the FREE Wholehearted Summit for Weary Women Sept 9-11 here! http://www.simplywholehearted.com/a/2148302131/MhoTboBT
Find Amy here at her website! www.simplywholehearted.com
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com
Love what you're learning on E + M?
Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices - Serving is beautiful, but there's a shadow side to it, the point where selflessness turns into self-erasure and a person, more often a woman, slowly disappears inside their own marriage or role. In this episode, Christa gently names coercive control, the slow stripping away of a person's freedom, voice, and even their grip on reality, and how it can hide behind spiritual words and show up alongside narcissism. She reframes boundaries as part of how love stays healthy and safe, sometimes even lifesaving. If this names something you're living, you don't have to carry it alone. Christa shares real support, including the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) and the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You were never meant to disappear. You were meant to be seen, safe, and whole. Listen here! Watch on YouTube!
Get inside the Enneagram and Marriage Coaching and Masterclass classroom here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass Use the code COACH for $250 off - or - use a payment plan!!
Get inside the FREE Wholehearted Summit for Weary Women Sept 9-11 here! http://www.simplywholehearted.com/a/2148302131/MhoTboBT
Find Amy here at her website! www.simplywholehearted.com
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com
Love what you're learning on E + M?
Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Subscriber Series (FREE): The Two Shadows in Every Type: Overly Controlling and Complying
02/09/2026 | 19 mins.Here in this (free) subscriber series episode, Christa goes deeper into how self-erasure takes root for each of the nine types in this subscriber episode released for our entire audience. For a lot of women, it started early, praised for being easy, agreeable, and self-sacrificing, until saying no felt impossible. That's not always humility. Sometimes it's a wound wearing the costume of virtue. She looks at how coercive control and narcissism find and exploit that shadow, and how faith language gets twisted to keep a person silent. Then she turns toward healing, telling yourself the truth, finding a safe voice, and slowly rebuilding a self that's allowed to want, feel, need, and say no. Listen here!
Get inside the Enneagram and Marriage Coaching and Masterclass classroom here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass Use the code COACH for $250 off - or - use a payment plan!!
Get inside the FREE Wholehearted Summit for Weary Women Sept 9-11 here! http://www.simplywholehearted.com/a/2148302131/MhoTboBT
Find Amy here at her website! www.simplywholehearted.com
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com
Love what you're learning on E + M?
Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices- So many this 2026 are bone-tired, pouring themselves out for everyone around them until there is nothing left, and then feeling guilty for having no energy left for the inner work they know matters, especially if they're going to have anything to bring to their spouse or familiy. In this warm and honest conversation, Christa welcomes Amy Wicks to talk about the conference she has created just for the weary, happening September 9 through 11. Together they explore why so many people are running on empty, how our own weariness and unhealed places show up in our marriages without our realizing it, and what it looks like to be restored when we are too tired to even begin. Amy shares about the remarkable voices gathering to teach, including Chuck DeGroat and Aundi Kolber, and Christa, who will be speaking on the marriage piece, talks about why our relationships need us to come full rather than empty. For the one who is too weary for the work, this is a gentle invitation to be filled first. Come join the convo + conference!! Watch on YouTube!
Get inside the Enneagram and Marriage Coaching and Masterclass classroom here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass Use the code COACH for $250 off - or - use a payment plan!!
Get inside the FREE Wholehearted Summit for Weary Women Sept 9-11 here! http://www.simplywholehearted.com/a/2148302131/MhoTboBT
Find Amy here at her website! www.simplywholehearted.com
Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com
Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com
Love what you're learning on E + M?
Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here!
Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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About Enneagram and Marriage
The Enneagram and Marriage Podcast, hosted by Christa Hardin, MA, is rooted in two decades of experience counseling and coaching couples. On top of her expert marriage advice, Christa uses the Enneagram to add another layer of understanding in how we work as individuals and gives us deeper insight into how we connect and shine together in marriage and relationships across the collective community.
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