How to Trust Yourself: The Messy, Human Path to Becoming Who You Are

Have you ever caught yourself thinking:
"I shouldn't complain. Other people have it so much worse."
Or...
"I have so much to be grateful for. I shouldn't feel this way."
If so, you're not alone.
In this solo episode, Anna explores why these seemingly innocent thoughts can actually become a form of emotional self-censorship. While gratitude is a beautiful and important practice, it can sometimes be used—often without us realizing it—to invalidate our own emotional experience.
Drawing from her work as a therapist, Anna explains how many people learn to interrupt their feelings before they've had the chance to be fully experienced. Whether you've been the strong one, the capable one, the caretaker, the successful one, or simply the person everyone assumes is "doing fine," you may have internalized the belief that your struggles don't deserve the same compassion as everyone else's.
In this episode, Anna explores:
• Why asking "Does my suffering count?" may actually be the wrong question
• The difference between genuine gratitude and emotional invalidation
• Why so many of us mistake expressing our feelings for "complaining"
• How emotional self-censorship becomes a habit
• The connection between chronic emotional suppression, anxiety, burnout, and mind-body symptoms
• What Anna means by the phrase disenfranchised suffering
• How practicing unconditional self-compassion supports emotional healing
If you've ever felt guilty for struggling because your life looks good on the outside—or if you've found yourself minimizing your own pain because others have it worse—this episode offers a compassionate invitation to stop judging your emotions and start listening to them instead.
Resources & Links:
Learn more about Anna's therapy practice: https://www.annaholtzmantherapy.com
Follow Anna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/
If this episode resonated with you, please consider following the podcast, leaving a rating or review, and sharing it with someone who might need to hear this reminder: your emotions do not have to earn the right to be met with compassion.

In this episode, Anna sits down with Mari Reisberg, therapist, performer, creativity coach, and host of the Sustaining Creativity Podcast. Mari’s work lives at the intersection of somatic therapy, performance, and play — and her core belief is simple: life gets a lot more fun when we tap into our creativity.
Together, they explore how creativity shows up in everyday life (even for people who don’t think of themselves as “creative”), why so many of us feel blocked or disconnected from it, and what it actually takes to sustain creative energy over the long haul.
In this episode, we talk about:
• What creativity really is — beyond art, performance, or “talent”
• Whether creativity is something we’re born with or something we can grow
• Why so many adults feel creatively shut down or “not imaginative anymore”
• Common barriers that get in the way of creativity, including perfectionism, fear of judgment, and productivity culture
• How nervous system states (freeze, overwhelm, stress) impact creative flow
• Why creativity coaching can be so supportive — and what it actually looks like
• Simple, doable tools Mari uses to help clients reconnect with their creative selves
• How play, movement, and silliness can become powerful creative practices
• Practices for sustaining creativity over time instead of only in short bursts
• How to start small if you’re feeling blocked, tired, or creatively “out of shape”
This is a gentle, joyful invitation to remember that creativity isn’t something you either have or don’t — it’s a relationship you can rebuild, one tiny experiment at a time.

Connect with Mari
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sustainingcreativity/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sustainingcreativity
• Podcast: https://sustainingcreativity.buzzsprout.com
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mari-reisberg-b1320151/
Connect with Anna
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/
• Website: https://www.annaholtzman.com/
• Free workshop — Let Yourself Be Seen: https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

What if the reason you're feeling stuck isn't that you're not trying hard enough... but that you're trying too hard?
In this solo episode, Anna shares one of the most transformative lessons she learned during her own recovery from chronic migraine: "Don't try harder. Try softer."
Originally shared by mind-body physician Dr. John Stracks, this simple phrase didn't fully make sense to Anna until one unforgettable migraine attack revealed the surprising way her inner critic had hijacked her healing. She realized she was literally trying to force herself to relax—using pressure, perfectionism, and self-criticism in the hope of calming her nervous system.
The irony made her laugh.
And that moment of laughter became the beginning of a profound shift—not just in her physical healing, but in the way she relates to herself as a therapist, business owner, partner, and stepmom.
In this episode, Anna explores why lasting growth often begins when we stop trying to fix ourselves and start staying on our own side instead.
In this episode, you'll learn:
• Why trying harder can sometimes keep your nervous system stuck
• The surprising role self-compassion played in Anna's chronic migraine recovery
• How perfectionism and self-criticism often masquerade as motivation
• The difference between pursuing outcomes and changing your relationship with yourself
• A simple mindset shift you can practice in any area of life where you feel pressure to "get it right"
Whether you're navigating chronic symptoms, burnout, anxiety, relationship struggles, or simply feeling like you're never doing enough, this episode offers a gentler—and often more effective—way forward.

Connect with Anna
If this episode resonated with you, Anna would love to hear your thoughts.
📧 Email: anna@annaholtzman.com
Interested in working together?
Learn more about therapy, coaching, and Anna's Seen & Safe group at:
https://www.annaholtzman.com
If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who could use the reminder that sometimes the path forward isn't to try harder—it's to try softer.

In this episode, Anna sits down with Kati Morton, LMFT, bestselling author and one of the internet’s most trusted mental-health educators. Kati has spent more than a decade helping millions of people understand their emotions, navigate trauma, and break unhealthy patterns. Her latest book, Why Do I Keep Doing This?, unpacks the emotional habits we fall into — and what it actually takes to change them from the inside out.
In this episode, we explore:
• What inspired her new book
How Kati sees “doing this” — the patterns, habits, and emotional cycles we repeat — showing up in her own life and in her clients.
• The truth that even therapists get stuck
Why mental-health professionals aren’t immune to autopilot patterns… and the early signs Kati looks for in herself when she’s drifting away from alignment.
• Burnout cycles & nervous-system loops
Especially for sensitive creatives, caretakers, and over-functioners:
o why burnout often comes from emotional over-responsibility
o how chronic self-abandonment masquerades as “being capable”
o the biological and psychological loops that keep people stuck
o how to tell the difference between capacity and compulsion
• What it means to shift safely
Kati shares the gentlest places to begin — including micro-bids for rest, nervous-system resets, interrupting old narratives, and slowly rebuilding trust with yourself so change doesn’t feel threatening.
• Why shame blocks every kind of healing
And what happens when we bring curiosity instead of self-criticism to our patterns.
• Practical tools for coming back to yourself
From checking in with your body before your to-do list, to noticing emotional “flare alerts,” to using supportive structure without falling into perfectionism.
This conversation is validating, clarifying, honest, and deeply hopeful.
If you’re tired of your own loops, this one’s for you.

Connect with Kati
• Website: https://www.katimorton.com/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/katimorton
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton/
• Her books, including Why Do I Keep Doing This?, Are U OK?, and Traumatized

Connect with Anna
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/
• Website: https://www.annaholtzman.com/
• Free workshop — Let Yourself Be Seen: https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

Many of us pride ourselves on being good people.
We strive to be helpful, responsible, accommodating, generous, and easy to love. On the surface, these qualities seem unquestionably positive. But what happens when being "good" becomes something we feel compelled to perform in order to earn love, approval, or belonging?
In this episode, therapist Anna Holtzman explores the concept of goodism—a term coined by mind-body physician Dr. John Sarno to describe the tendency to organize our identity around being good.
Drawing from both her personal life and her work with therapy clients, Anna explores how goodism can show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, over-achieving, over-giving, and chronic self-monitoring. She also examines the hidden toll these patterns can take on our nervous systems, relationships, and physical health.
If you've ever found yourself wondering:
• Am I doing enough?
• What do other people need from me?
• Will I still be loved if I disappoint someone?
• Why do I feel so exhausted, resentful, or disconnected from myself?
...this episode is for you.
In this episode, you'll learn:
• What "goodism" is and how it differs from genuine kindness
• How people-pleasing and over-functioning can become stress responses
• Why chronic adaptation to others can keep your nervous system stuck in survival mode
• How goodism can contribute to burnout, chronic stress, and stress-related symptoms
• Why becoming the "supporting character" in your own life is so costly
• A simple practice to help you reconnect with yourself and begin stepping back into the role of main character in your own life
Reflection Questions:
• In what area of your life are you living as a supporting character rather than the main character?
• What would it look like to put yourself first today?
If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. You can reach me at anna@annaholtzman.com.
Connect with me:
Website: www.annaholtzmantherapy.com
Instagram: @anna_holtzman
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