Decoding Attachment Styles

Many anxious and secure attached persons have dated avoidant attached persons who seemed really ready for a long term committed relationships until.... things got heavy. Many were left confused at their behaviours as some avoidant back-peddled, withdrew, seem to gaslight or altogether ghosted. In this episode, one of my guests shares her distress in trying to navigate her relationships as she tries to learn about her ex's behaviours, and her own. Give this a listen if you want to feel seen and validated while gaining some insights into the mind (and actions) of an avoidant attached person. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

Many of us believe that holding an avoidant accountable means talking to them like they are an idiot and we are their parent. How many of us liked it when our parents, or anyone in authority held us accountable? No one! We revelled and worse, you ignore and avoided as much as we could. Yes- my anxious attached friends. Even you did that.Most people are online telling us that we need to hold avoidant attached persons accountable and that is true. However, what we think is "holding them accountable" is actually coming across to them as "control."Let's sort out this messy issue but highlight what we think is an ultimatum, what the avoidant hears and how we can do "accountability" right.I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

At first, he was open to communicating about their needs. He seemed keen on trying to be better. They were great together - both feeling safe to be vulnerable for the first time, then something changed.  He started to feel pressured and needed space. She gave him that space only to have a conversation later that confused her. Join me as I discussed with Sarah what are some of the red flags she might be missing right now and how she can navigate working with someone she is no longer in a relationship with but also hopes to get back together with...someday. What does she need to do differently should they get back together. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

Ever feels like your avoidant partner never wants to do anything during the holidays? Avoidant attached persons can have a love/hate relationship with holidays and it had everything to do with their attachment styles. As an anxious attached partner, you probably love the holidays - getting the perfect presents, planning get-togethers and meals, involving your partner in everything... While on the other hand, your avoidant partner wants to do anything (crawl on a hole) but be a part of what they see as too much. This episodes dives into why the avoidant attached partner wants to hide from the holidays, your friends and most of their own people. We share five things avoidant attached persons don't want during the holidays and what you can do to help them feel more relaxed - and get them involved. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

She thought everything was fine. Then, he dropped a bombshell/ “I'm not sure I'm in love with you anymore.”Trying to be understanding, she gave him an easy out. She said, “It's okay if we need to break up.”But he wouldn't take it. He was confused. He wanted to keep trying.And just like that, they were trapped in a exhausting cycle of push-and-pull-a classic anxious-avoidant trap-until he finally ended it for good.Now, she's left heartbroken and overthinking everything. She's asking all the classic questions:How do I get over a breakup when I still have feelings?What does it mean when he says he loves me but isn't in love with me?Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners?Is there any chance of getting back together?If this story hits home, you're not alone. These painful patterns often point directly to our attachment styles.In this recorded session, we sit down with Sarah to understand her anxious attachment style and how it showed up in her relationship. We'll break down-The hidden signs of an anxious attachment style.How fear of abandonment can accidentally sabotage your love life.Practical steps for healing a broken heart and creating secure attachment.How to stop the cycle of on-again, off-again relationships and learn how to move forward for good.I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show