Nourishing the Mother

What happens when the parenting advice you were given simply doesn’t work for the child in front of you? As Julie’s daughter turns 13, she and Bridget look back on thirteen years of learning, unlearning, advocating, getting it wrong and slowly coming to understand what this particular autistic child needed. Through lived experience, they unpack the things that changed everything: recognising masking, understanding the difference between what a child can do and what they can actually sustain, looking beneath behaviour, questioning traditional ideas of independence, and realising that a child appearing to cope doesn’t always mean they are coping. It’s a conversation about autism, yes, but also about motherhood, nervous systems, repair, advocacy, capacity and the humility of allowing the child in front of you to change the way you thought you were supposed to parent.

In this episode, Bridget and Julie discuss:
- What thirteen years of parenting an autistic daughter has taught Julie that she couldn't have known at the beginning
- Why autistic girls can be missed, misunderstood or appear to be coping when there is much more happening underneath
- Getting curious about behaviour rather than immediately trying to correct it
- The difference between “she can do it” and “she can sustain it”
- Why the hours after school, socialising or a demanding experience can tell you more than what you witnessed during it
Masking, meltdowns and why home can be where a child finally stops holding everything together
- Rethinking independence and recognising that the right support can actually create greater autonomy
- The difference between building useful skills and teaching a child to make themselves more convenient for the world
- Learning to advocate for your child while helping them develop the language to advocate for themselves
- The grief and repair involved in looking back at what you did before you understood what you understand now
- Why both nervous systems matter when you're parenting a child with significant needs
- Questioning expert advice when it doesn't match the child living in front of you
- Why learning about autism matters, but learning your particular child matters even more

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub

Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life

Tune in for part 2 where we explore the parts of parenting where we’re still firmly living in the 90s.

In this two-part episode, we’re talking about the things we’ve deliberately held onto from the childhood we grew up in: boredom, chores without payment, hearing “no” without a 45-minute negotiation, talking to actual adults, losing without receiving a trophy, and being expected to figure some things out for yourself.

This isn’t about glorifying the “we survived, so they’ll survive” style of parenting or ignoring what we now understand about children, nervous systems and individual needs. It’s about asking whether, in our beautiful attempt to be more responsive and conscious parents, we sometimes step in too much.

Because resilience isn’t created by removing every hard thing. Sometimes it’s built when we lovingly hand over responsibility, tolerate our child’s discomfort and give them the glorious experience of discovering: *I can do hard things.*

In this episode, we discuss:

* Why boredom is not a parenting emergency, and what children discover when we stop filling every empty space for them.
* Why being part of a family means contributing to the family, without needing money, rewards or applause every time.
* The difference between supporting our kids and rescuing them from every uncomfortable consequence.
* Why we’re intentionally technology-light, and why sometimes kids can simply look out the bloody window.
* Why conscious parenting doesn’t mean negotiating every boundary, and why *“because I said so”* occasionally still has a place.
* The importance of expecting our kids to interact with adults, speak for themselves and gradually learn how to navigate the world without us doing it for them.
* Why not everything needs a trophy, and why losing, disappointment and not being the best at something are important experiences.
* The conscious *handover*: knowing when we’ve taught and scaffolded enough, and it’s time to step aside and let our children figure it out.
* Why resilience, grit and confidence are built through actually experiencing hard things, not having every hard thing removed.
* Why we don’t need to organise, mediate or manage every part of our children’s social lives.
* The value of age-appropriate freedom, risk, independence and letting children experience themselves as capable.
* What we absolutely *don’t* want to bring back from 90s parenting, and how we can keep the good without recreating the emotional disconnection.
* The bigger question underneath it all: *are we raising children who feel supported by us, while also knowing they can function without us?*

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub

Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life

We might be conscious parents, but there are some parts of parenting where we’re still firmly living in the 90s.

In this two-part episode, we’re talking about the things we’ve deliberately held onto from the childhood we grew up in: boredom, chores without payment, hearing “no” without a 45-minute negotiation, talking to actual adults, losing without receiving a trophy, and being expected to figure some things out for yourself.

This isn’t about glorifying the “we survived, so they’ll survive” style of parenting or ignoring what we now understand about children, nervous systems and individual needs. It’s about asking whether, in our beautiful attempt to be more responsive and conscious parents, we sometimes step in too much.

Because resilience isn’t created by removing every hard thing. Sometimes it’s built when we lovingly hand over responsibility, tolerate our child’s discomfort and give them the glorious experience of discovering: *I can do hard things.*

In this episode, we discuss:

* Why boredom is not a parenting emergency, and what children discover when we stop filling every empty space for them.
* Why being part of a family means contributing to the family, without needing money, rewards or applause every time.
* The difference between supporting our kids and rescuing them from every uncomfortable consequence.
* Why we’re intentionally technology-light, and why sometimes kids can simply look out the bloody window.
* Why conscious parenting doesn’t mean negotiating every boundary, and why *“because I said so”* occasionally still has a place.
* The importance of expecting our kids to interact with adults, speak for themselves and gradually learn how to navigate the world without us doing it for them.
* Why not everything needs a trophy, and why losing, disappointment and not being the best at something are important experiences.
* The conscious *handover*: knowing when we’ve taught and scaffolded enough, and it’s time to step aside and let our children figure it out.
* Why resilience, grit and confidence are built through actually experiencing hard things, not having every hard thing removed.
* Why we don’t need to organise, mediate or manage every part of our children’s social lives.
* The value of age-appropriate freedom, risk, independence and letting children experience themselves as capable.
* What we absolutely *don’t* want to bring back from 90s parenting, and how we can keep the good without recreating the emotional disconnection.
* The bigger question underneath it all: *are we raising children who feel supported by us, while also knowing they can function without us?*

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub

Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life

So many women have built a life that looks successful on the outside, yet quietly feel exhausted, disconnected and like they're carrying everyone else while leaving themselves behind. In this deeply honest conversation, Julie sits down with Fleur Marks, author of The Overachiever's Reset, to explore the hidden cost of overfunctioning after Fleur's journey through sarcoidosis and two experiences of breast cancer completely transformed how she defines success. Together they unpack perfectionism, people pleasing, proving, performing and pushing through, why these patterns are often inherited, and how radical acceptance can become the doorway to a life that feels deeply fulfilling rather than endlessly productive. This episode is an invitation to stop abandoning yourself in the name of achievement and begin creating a life that honours your body, your relationships and what truly matters.

In this episode, we discussed:
- Why overfunctioning can look successful while quietly costing you your health, relationships and sense of self.
- Fleur's journey through sarcoidosis and two experiences of breast cancer, and how illness completely reshaped her definition of success.
- The identity crisis that often comes when your body can no longer sustain the pace you've always expected of it.
- Why keeping it all together isn't always strength, and the hidden price of always being the one who carries everything.
- The difference between achievement that comes from fear and achievement that comes from alignment.
- Radical acceptance and asking, "How do I want to show up for this one precious life?"
- Why true fulfilment is different from constantly chasing the next achievement.
- Learning to work with your body and your energy instead of constantly overriding both.
- The surprising truth that being self-full allows you to be more generous, present and loving with those around you.
- Why self-care isn't just bubble baths or massages, but also making choices that support your long-term wellbeing.
- Fleur's definition of self-care as creating space to simply be, without guilt or needing to earn it.
- How developing a relationship with your inner self changes the way you live, parent and partner.
- The five pillars of overachieving:
Perfectionism
People pleasing
Proving your worth
Performing
Pushing through
- Why these patterns are often inherited rather than consciously chosen.
- Learning to ask, "What's driving me to achieve at the cost of myself?"
- Why self-care is often uncomfortable because it asks us to disappoint old patterns before it brings peace.
- How striving for balance can become another impossible standard, and why working with the season you're in is far more sustainable.
- Practical shifts that help reconnect you to yourself, including slowing your mornings, honouring your energy and taking moments to simply pause.
- Why kindness toward yourself is not giving up. It's often the beginning of finally living.

FREE emergency reset and 30 day reset journal available at
 - https://fleurmarks.com.au/pages/resources -

Buy her book - The Overachiever's Reset: A Better Way to Succeed, Without Losing Yourself
https://www.amazon.com.au/Overachievers-Reset-Succeed-Without-Yourself/dp/1394394918/ref=sr_1_1?crid=G5J4MAY7L2LB&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.dFnQsG0u6Q1wzNVNtXIdsw.CBN2KnN6TsMhnFglS5j1cOl5WAJQpJUDk-jd6l4EZFU&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+overachievers+reset+fleur+marks&qid=1764822326&sprefix=the+overachievers+reset+fleur+marks%2Caps%2C253&sr=8-1

https://www.instagram.com/fleurjmarks/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/fleurmarks/
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email - fleur@fleurmarks.com.au

Fleur’s Bio
Fleur Marks is a globally recognised leadership trainer, keynote speaker and strategist who transforms leaders to show up as high-impact performers — sustainably, and without losing themselves in the process. After 20 years as an agency leader, a life-threatening health crisis — rare autoimmune disease, breast cancer, twenty-three rounds of chemotherapy — forced her to rebuild everything she thought she knew about success. She has since guided over 10,000 leaders, delivering high-impact programs including female leadership initiatives for clients including Qantas, NAB, Atlassian, Scentre Group and L’Oréal. The Overachiever’s Reset is her debut book.

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub

Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life

Feeling trapped by your life isn't always about changing your circumstances. Sometimes it's about changing the way you meet them. In this final episode of our three-part series, Bridget and Julie explore what happens after you've identified the stories keeping you stuck. They unpack how to reclaim the parts of yourself that feel lost beneath the weight of responsibility, why pleasure and self-care often trigger resistance instead of ease, and how to create more romance, aliveness and fulfilment without waiting for someone else to bring it to you.

If you've been longing to feel more like yourself again, this conversation offers practical, compassionate ways to reconnect with what you thought motherhood, partnership or adulthood had taken away.

In this episode, we discuss:

- Why feeling trapped is often less about your circumstances and more about your relationship with them.
- How to reclaim parts of yourself that feel buried beneath responsibility.
- Finding magic, pleasure and meaning within ordinary, everyday life.
- Why self-care can feel surprisingly difficult, even when you know you need it.
- The hidden beliefs, programming and rules that stop you receiving rest, joy and pleasure.
- Why the things that are good for your long-term wellbeing don't always feel like an immediate "yes."
- How to soften rigid thinking and create more flexibility in your life.
- Practical ways to pair difficult responsibilities with comfort and enjoyment.
- Creating romance by embodying the energy you want to experience, rather than waiting for someone else to create it.
- How pressure and disappointment quietly erode intimacy in relationships.
- Using imagination, books and story to reconnect with desire and possibility.
- The difference between outsourcing your happiness and becoming the creator of it.
- What genuine romance looks like beyond grand gestures.
- The importance of reciprocity, thoughtfulness and showing up for your partner in meaningful ways.
- Questions to help you notice where your life already contains more love, pleasure and possibility than you've been giving it credit for.
- How to become the source of more of what you're longing for, instead of waiting for life to deliver it.

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub

Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life