Nourishing the Mother

What happens when a breast cancer diagnosis changes not just your body, but the way you see your entire life? In this deeply personal conversation, Julie sits down with Ilea, a mother of two who underwent a double mastectomy following a DCIS diagnosis, to explore the parts of breast cancer recovery we don't talk about enough. From the grief of ending breastfeeding and losing her breasts, to navigating a new relationship with her body, sexuality and intimacy, Ilea shares how her experience became an unexpected invitation to examine the way she was living. Together they explore healing beyond the physical, the mother wound, learning to listen to your body's wisdom, and what it means to stop rushing through life and start being present for it. 

A conversation about loss, gratitude, motherhood and discovering that sometimes the most profound healing happens in the relationship we have with ourselves.

In this episode, Julie and Ilea discuss:
- Ilea's unexpected breast cancer diagnosis at 45 and the decisions that led to a double mastectomy.
- The emotional and financial realities of navigating breast cancer treatment.
- The grief of ending breastfeeding before she was ready, and losing a part of her maternal identity.
- Moving beyond the "f*ck cancer" narrative and finding her own meaning in the experience.
- The intersection of medical treatment, emotional healing and the mother wound.
- Learning to trust her body's wisdom when making life-changing decisions.
- Grieving her breasts, accepting her reconstructed body and finding beauty in what has changed.
- The rarely discussed impact of mastectomy on sexual pleasure, arousal, sensation and intimacy.
- Rediscovering pleasure and exploring new ways of experiencing her body.
- How cancer exposed the cost of constant doing, rushing and living by the to-do list.
- The shift from managing motherhood to actually being present within it.
- Journalling, meditation and nervous system regulation as practices for reconnecting with herself.
- Why self-connection isn't another thing on the to-do list, but the foundation for how we show up in our lives.
- Finding gratitude alongside grief, and allowing both to exist.
Connect with Ilea:
https://www.instagram.com/ileasanders/?hl=en
sanders.ilea@gmail.com

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub

Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life

What if self-worth isn’t something you need to build, but something you need to stop bargaining away?

In this episode, Bridget and Julie explore the invisible conditions many of us place around our worth: “I matter when I’m productive, when my children are doing well, when people approve of me, when I’m needed, when I’m attractive, when I’m getting it right...”

They unpack how these “worthiness contracts” are often formed early in life, then quietly follow us into motherhood, relationships, work and the way we respond when life doesn’t go to plan. Through personal stories and real-life examples, they explore what it means to stop intellectually knowing you’re worthy and begin practising a life that says: *I matter, even here.*

In this episode, we discuss:
- The difference between *knowing you’re worthy* and actually living as though you matter.
- The hidden “worthiness contracts” we create, such as I’m worthy when I’m productive, needed, attractive, approved of or getting it right.
- How childhood experiences shape the conditions we place around love, belonging and acceptance.
- Julie’s realisation that she had learned to *cancel her own needs* in order to maintain connection, and how that pattern followed her into motherhood.
- Why motherhood can amplify self-sacrifice and make abandoning yourself look like being a “good mother”.
- How our children’s behaviour can become unconsciously tangled with our own sense of worth and competence.
- Why we self-police when we imagine other people judging our parenting, relationships or choices.
- What happens when a condition you’ve built your worth around disappears, such as productivity, approval, connection or being needed.
- The idea that reality itself may be neutral, while our history and internal patterns shape the meaning we give it.
- Why changing a worthiness pattern isn’t a mindset shift you make once, but a practice you return to again and again.
- How life transitions, including perimenopause, can expose old identities and worthiness contracts that no longer fit.
- The invitation to notice: *What has to be true for you to feel worthy? And who are you when it isn’t?*

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub

Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life

What happens when the parenting advice you were given simply doesn’t work for the child in front of you? As Julie’s daughter turns 13, she and Bridget look back on thirteen years of learning, unlearning, advocating, getting it wrong and slowly coming to understand what this particular autistic child needed. Through lived experience, they unpack the things that changed everything: recognising masking, understanding the difference between what a child can do and what they can actually sustain, looking beneath behaviour, questioning traditional ideas of independence, and realising that a child appearing to cope doesn’t always mean they are coping. It’s a conversation about autism, yes, but also about motherhood, nervous systems, repair, advocacy, capacity and the humility of allowing the child in front of you to change the way you thought you were supposed to parent.

In this episode, Bridget and Julie discuss:
- What thirteen years of parenting an autistic daughter has taught Julie that she couldn't have known at the beginning
- Why autistic girls can be missed, misunderstood or appear to be coping when there is much more happening underneath
- Getting curious about behaviour rather than immediately trying to correct it
- The difference between “she can do it” and “she can sustain it”
- Why the hours after school, socialising or a demanding experience can tell you more than what you witnessed during it
Masking, meltdowns and why home can be where a child finally stops holding everything together
- Rethinking independence and recognising that the right support can actually create greater autonomy
- The difference between building useful skills and teaching a child to make themselves more convenient for the world
- Learning to advocate for your child while helping them develop the language to advocate for themselves
- The grief and repair involved in looking back at what you did before you understood what you understand now
- Why both nervous systems matter when you're parenting a child with significant needs
- Questioning expert advice when it doesn't match the child living in front of you
- Why learning about autism matters, but learning your particular child matters even more

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub

Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life

Tune in for part 2 where we explore the parts of parenting where we’re still firmly living in the 90s.

In this two-part episode, we’re talking about the things we’ve deliberately held onto from the childhood we grew up in: boredom, chores without payment, hearing “no” without a 45-minute negotiation, talking to actual adults, losing without receiving a trophy, and being expected to figure some things out for yourself.

This isn’t about glorifying the “we survived, so they’ll survive” style of parenting or ignoring what we now understand about children, nervous systems and individual needs. It’s about asking whether, in our beautiful attempt to be more responsive and conscious parents, we sometimes step in too much.

Because resilience isn’t created by removing every hard thing. Sometimes it’s built when we lovingly hand over responsibility, tolerate our child’s discomfort and give them the glorious experience of discovering: *I can do hard things.*

In this episode, we discuss:

* Why boredom is not a parenting emergency, and what children discover when we stop filling every empty space for them.
* Why being part of a family means contributing to the family, without needing money, rewards or applause every time.
* The difference between supporting our kids and rescuing them from every uncomfortable consequence.
* Why we’re intentionally technology-light, and why sometimes kids can simply look out the bloody window.
* Why conscious parenting doesn’t mean negotiating every boundary, and why *“because I said so”* occasionally still has a place.
* The importance of expecting our kids to interact with adults, speak for themselves and gradually learn how to navigate the world without us doing it for them.
* Why not everything needs a trophy, and why losing, disappointment and not being the best at something are important experiences.
* The conscious *handover*: knowing when we’ve taught and scaffolded enough, and it’s time to step aside and let our children figure it out.
* Why resilience, grit and confidence are built through actually experiencing hard things, not having every hard thing removed.
* Why we don’t need to organise, mediate or manage every part of our children’s social lives.
* The value of age-appropriate freedom, risk, independence and letting children experience themselves as capable.
* What we absolutely *don’t* want to bring back from 90s parenting, and how we can keep the good without recreating the emotional disconnection.
* The bigger question underneath it all: *are we raising children who feel supported by us, while also knowing they can function without us?*

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub

Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life

We might be conscious parents, but there are some parts of parenting where we’re still firmly living in the 90s.

In this two-part episode, we’re talking about the things we’ve deliberately held onto from the childhood we grew up in: boredom, chores without payment, hearing “no” without a 45-minute negotiation, talking to actual adults, losing without receiving a trophy, and being expected to figure some things out for yourself.

This isn’t about glorifying the “we survived, so they’ll survive” style of parenting or ignoring what we now understand about children, nervous systems and individual needs. It’s about asking whether, in our beautiful attempt to be more responsive and conscious parents, we sometimes step in too much.

Because resilience isn’t created by removing every hard thing. Sometimes it’s built when we lovingly hand over responsibility, tolerate our child’s discomfort and give them the glorious experience of discovering: *I can do hard things.*

In this episode, we discuss:

* Why boredom is not a parenting emergency, and what children discover when we stop filling every empty space for them.
* Why being part of a family means contributing to the family, without needing money, rewards or applause every time.
* The difference between supporting our kids and rescuing them from every uncomfortable consequence.
* Why we’re intentionally technology-light, and why sometimes kids can simply look out the bloody window.
* Why conscious parenting doesn’t mean negotiating every boundary, and why *“because I said so”* occasionally still has a place.
* The importance of expecting our kids to interact with adults, speak for themselves and gradually learn how to navigate the world without us doing it for them.
* Why not everything needs a trophy, and why losing, disappointment and not being the best at something are important experiences.
* The conscious *handover*: knowing when we’ve taught and scaffolded enough, and it’s time to step aside and let our children figure it out.
* Why resilience, grit and confidence are built through actually experiencing hard things, not having every hard thing removed.
* Why we don’t need to organise, mediate or manage every part of our children’s social lives.
* The value of age-appropriate freedom, risk, independence and letting children experience themselves as capable.
* What we absolutely *don’t* want to bring back from 90s parenting, and how we can keep the good without recreating the emotional disconnection.
* The bigger question underneath it all: *are we raising children who feel supported by us, while also knowing they can function without us?*

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub

Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life