Parents We've Met

This week we’re joined by special guest Matt Brown (MNZM) - pāpā, husband, co-founder of She is not your rehab, author, communicator and internationally acclaimed barber (yes, really!) - for a powerful conversation about parenting, trauma and healing. 

Listener note: In this episode we touch on some sensitive topics including domestic abuse, suicide and sexual abuse. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek support from a mental health professional or connect with Lifeline Aotearoa by texting 4357. Your wellbeing is important. 

Matt shares openly about his upbringing as one of nine kids and the journey that led him to confront the pain and trauma that marked much of his childhood. Together with Dayna and Jenny he chats about forgiveness and breaking cycles through the lens of, ‘seek to understand, rather than to be understood’ , a principle that has guided him through his healing journey.

Matt and his wife Sarah have created some incredible resources which you can check out here: two books She is not your rehab and This is not yours to carry - and a mental health app Innerboy, which has been designed to support men in healing from intergenerational trauma and abuse. 

For free support for mental distress, please check out these other below resources: 

⁠Need to talk?⁠  Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.  

⁠Youthline⁠  0800 376 633, free text 234 or email ⁠[email protected]⁠ or ⁠online chat⁠.  

⁠Just a thought⁠  Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠ 

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠.      
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Dayna and Jenny are joined by Parent Coach Sheridan Eketone for a deep dive into what teens really need from us during this important developmental stage.

They chat about the importance of helping teens build a sense of competence, autonomy and connection - finding what lights them up and creating space for them to lean into their passions (yes, even if they seem a little quirky!). Alongside this, they unpack the quiet power of everyday moments, the ‘snatched’ connections that remind our young people that they’re loved without needing to earn it. 

They also take an honest look at the things that can unintentionally push teens further away - from long lectures and ‘I-told-you-sos’ to stepping in too quickly to fix things - and how small shifts can make a big difference. 

You’ll hear practical ways to: 

Respond when you’re met with attitude or pushback 

Avoid taking things personally when emotions are running high

Make space for a ‘do-over’ when the relationship fractures

Support your teen’s growing independence, without losing connection  

They also shed some light on what’s happening developmentally in the teenage brain, and why - even when they act like they don’t need us - they still deeply do.  

We reference Kathryn Berkett’s book: ‘What’s going on in there? The Neuroscience of the Adolescent Brain’. Check it out here: https://www.engagetraining.co.nz/my-book 

Got a parenting challenge you need help with? Book a 1:1 coaching session online or in-person at parentingplace.nz/coaching   

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠.     

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Are mornings tricky or stressful? Need to get to work on time and your kid’s distracted by carpet fluff? Parent coach Kristin Ward joins us on the coaches’ couch this week with some hot tips and tools to help you leave the house without completely losing it! 

Together with Jenny and Dayna, Kristin shares strategies for calmer mornings including building in simple systems and time buffers, guarding kids’ sleep so they wake naturally, on time, and prioritising intentional moments of connection to keep the vibes sweet. 

Got a parenting challenge you need help with? Book a 1:1 coaching session online or in-person at parentingplace.nz/coaching

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠.     

Find us on:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠ 
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This week we're honoured to have one of our sporting and dad heroes, DJ Forbes, on the Parents We’ve Met couch. A husband, super proud dad to two teens and a legend of the game, DJ was captain of the All Blacks Sevens for nearly a decade, earning more titles, honours and accolades than we can squeeze into this podcast intro.   

In this honest chat, DJ shares with Jenny and Dayna some of the lessons he’s learnt in high-performance sports and how they translate to raising great humans. He talks about navigating different personalities, staying connected as kids grow, and the question many parents quietly carry: have we done enough to prepare them for the world? 

DJ also reflects on his Samoan culture, the lessons from his career that have shaped who he is - and the value he places on growing resilient kids with passion and inner drive.   

Got a parenting challenge you need help with? Book a 1:1 coaching session online or in-person at parentingplace.nz/coaching  

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠.    

Find us on:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠ 
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How do you get your kids to do things around the house without nagging or bribing - and does pocket money help or hinder your efforts? Parent coach Kristin Ward joins Jenny and Dayna to talk through the whys and hows of chores and pocket money. 

Kristin shares research that suggests there’s a correlation between involving kids in housework and kids completing their education, getting on a career path, forming better relationships with family and friends – and staying away from drugs. How compelling is that?! 

In this episode, they also cover: 

The perfect age to get them started – and how that might look

What to do when the kids push back, especially as they get older? 

How to navigate pocket money and allowances – and whether they should be linked to chores or not. 

How to manage our own expectations around chores (and not expect perfection!)

Teaching teens to manage money through allowances

How to teach kids about sharing 

Got a parenting challenge you need help with? Book a 1:1 coaching session online or in-person at parentingplace.nz/coaching 

Parents We’ve Met is brought to you by Parenting Place – a charity with a heart for New Zealand families. Explore our self-guided online courses and hundreds of free parenting articles and ideas ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠.   

Find us on:⁠⁠⁠ YouTube⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok ⁠⁠⁠/⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠ 
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