Sex in Space

In this episode, Toshi sat down with Jocelyn Silva to talk all things sexual shame. Jocelyn grew up in a conservative, Spanish-speaking Catholic home in Los Angeles, California. She attended Catholic school, went to weekly confession, and dreamed of becoming a nun at 16 - her entire world revolved around faith. But that faith also taught her to see her body and desires as sinful, leaving her ashamed and feeling disconnected from herself.

When she was 18 and had sex for the first time, this sent her on a different journey. By 21, Jocelyn was a sex educator. She earned a degree in Gender and Women’s Studies, ran a sexual wellness boutique for 4 years, and later completed her Master’s in Social Work. Over 15 years in this field and now 6 years coaching women, men, and couples, she’s learned that our sexuality is not something to be ashamed of – it’s where our power lives.

Together, Toshi and Jocelyn discussed:

Jocelyn’s journey from wanting to be a nun, to becoming a sex expert
How she unlearned sexual shame (and how you can too)
Tips for feeling more confident speaking your desires in the bedroom
Jocelyn’s #1 sex tip (and it’s not communication)
How Jocelyn reconnected with her faith
The conversation you need to be having early on in your relationship

Find more of Jocelyn here: https://www.jocelynsilva.com/

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro
00:46 – How Jocelyn's life plan went from nun, to sex expert
02:42 – Jocelyn's journey unlearning sexual shame
04:34 – The early messages around sex that follow us into adulthood
06:27 – Tips for unlearning sexual shame
11:56 – How to feel more confident expressing your sexual desires as a woman
18:37 – Jocelyn’s #1 sex tip
22:04 – What Jocelyn learned from being a cheater
24:33 – How to sit in discomfort
32:08 – How Jocelyn relearned faith
34:55 – Why you need clarity before a sexual experience
38:22 – The conversation you should have early on in your relationship
41:45 – Where to find more of Jocelyn Silva

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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.

Follow us here:
https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom
https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom
https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom
https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace

For more info, check out our website at:
https://www.sexinspace.com/
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Toshi sat down with Sanja Zündorf, the founder of entzück dich selbst. For a long time, Sanja thought she was the only woman who masturbated – it wasn’t something she spoke about with her friends, even though they were very open in talking about sex. She began researching this topic in 2019 and realised how many women know very little about their bodies, as well as how many women are ashamed of masturbating, and the way they masturbate. Sanja found in her survey that rubbing against pillows was a very popular method of masturbation but also associated with a lot of shame. Her mission is all about destigmatising masturbation and one of the ways she does this is by designing and selling a collection of sex toys specifically designed for pillow humping.

In this episode, Toshi and Sanja spoke about:

Practical tips for how you can start to feel less shame about masturbation
Why Sanja views masturbation as a feminist act
How the language we speak can shape our feelings towards our bodies and pleasure
And why your masturbation habits are normal (and sexy!).

Find Sanja and her work here: https://entzueckdichselbst.com/de
Check out Sanja on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/entzueckdichselbst/

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro.
00:58 – Who is Sanja and what does she do?
01:51 – What makes Sanja’s sex toy different to others on the market?
04:09 – Unpacking shame: Sanja’s early relationship with masturbation.
06:54 – How Sanja helps others feel okay about self-pleasure.
08:49 – How to feel less shame about masturbation.
11:35 – Why Sanja views masturbation as a feminist act.
14:42 – What do people think of pillow humping saddles?
21:06 – Why this sex toy is a self-love statement.
22:24 – How our language can contribute to our shame around masturbation.
30:09 – The importance of teaching kids the anatomically correct terms for their body parts
31:20 – Where you can see the saddles in person.
35:59 – Is using a phallic toy feminist?
39:12 – Your masturbation habits are normal (and sexy!).
45:15 – Where you can find more about Sanja and her work (and how you can participate).

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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.

Follow us here:
https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom
https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom
https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom
https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace

For more info, check out our website at:
https://www.sexinspace.com/
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode of the podcast, Toshi spoke with Hollie McNish, an award-winning poet, writer and performer. Together they had a conversation Hollie’s latest book, ‘Virgin’. It's a six-letter word that holds such incredible power - the power to pressure, to judge, to harm, to praise, to profit, to punish. But virginity is also just a concept, a label that has been pressed upon people for centuries in numerous cultures worldwide. In ‘Virgin’, Hollie McNish unpicks the role this word has played in her own life, as well as others.

00:00 – Intro
01:04 – Who’s Hollie McNish? – Why you need to know!
01:41 – What inspired Hollie to write ‘Virgin’?
05:29 – What’s virginity got to do with purple carrots?
08:22 – The problem with ‘body count’.
12:54 – What does it mean to be sexy?
28:16 – How media shapes the way we think, feel and see the world.
34:11 – We can stop apologising!
41:07 – Social media’s not all bad – here's why.
45:43 – The ways we make love in real life.
49:25 – Time to get comfortable talking about sex, and why.
56:21 – Where to find Hollie and her work.

Check out Hollie here:
https://www.holliepoetry.com/
https://www.instagram.com/holliepoetry/?hl=en

Find 'Virgin' here:
https://www.bookbaruk.com/product-page/virgin-by-hollie-mcnish

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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.

Follow us here:
https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom
https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom
https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom
https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace

For more info, check out our website at:
https://www.sexinspace.com/
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Willis Austin Chimano, known simply as Chimano, is formally a key member of Africa’s biggest band Sauti Sol. Hailing from Nairobi Kenya, Chimano, through the frequency of grace, love and discernment now embarks on a solo career designed to set the world on fire through his music, product lines and advocacy.

Chimano is celebrated for his deep baritone voice, dynamic stage presence, and distinct fashion sense. His first solo EP "Heavy is the Crown" highlights Chimano's vocal prowess and his ability to blend different musical styles, including pop, soul, and electronic influences. The EP has been well-received by fans and critics alike, noting Chimano's bold step in expressing his individuality and exploring new artistic territories.

Chimano is known for his bold fashion choices, often seen in flamboyant and stylish outfits that challenge traditional norms. He has been an advocate for self-expression and individuality, inspiring many fans to embrace their unique identities. In a landmark moment for his personal life and the LGBTQ+ community in Kenya, Chimano publicly came out as gay in 2021. His openness about his sexuality has been a significant step toward breaking down barriers and challenging societal norms in a region where LGBTQ+ rights are often underrepresented.

Chimano's influence extends beyond music. His advocacy for self-expression and his courage in sharing his personal journey have made him a role model for many. Through his solo work, he continues to inspire and entertain, leaving a lasting impact on the African music scene and beyond.

Find more of Chimano here: https://www.willischimano.com/
Check him out on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/willis.chimano/?hl=en
We asked Chimano which song he’d like us to play alongside this podcast episode. Here is ‘Beautiful Day,’ his song of choice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DICz0wi8RU

Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
00:36 – Who is Chimano?
01:54 – Being a part of Sauti Sol
04:15 – Chimano’s experience of coming out publicly
12:40 – Rethinking his identity as an artist
21:13 – The importance of a positive mindset and how to achieve it
26:43 – Reflecting on your Chimano’s childhood relationship with music
34:30 – Chimano's message to young queer people in Africa
37:29 – What’s next for Chimano
42:23 – Outro

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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.

Follow us here:
https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom
https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom
https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom
https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace

For more info, check out our website at:
https://www.sexinspace.com/
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Toshi sat down with Issy from Our Streets Now to talk about why showing Adolescence in schools isn’t a good idea – as well as some alternatives.

Our Streets Now is a UK based organisation that is looking to end public sexual harassment. It was founded in 2019 by two teenage sisters, sharing how they experienced the world as young women. They spoke about feeling afraid walking home at night. About being harassed in their school uniform. About how their lives were restricted by the fear of public sexual harassment. And about how this was an everyday reality for millions of women, girls and people of marginalised genders up and down the country.

They began a petition to make public sexual harassment (PSH) a criminal offence. Within 100 days, that petition had over 100,000 signatures. It now sits at almost half a million. It caught the attention of local media, then national media, then policymakers at the heart of government. And, in 2023, the five year campaign to make PSH a crime was a success.

Timestamps
00:00 – Intro
00:55 – What is Our Streets Now and what do they do?
03:20 – All about the workshops run by Our Streets Now about sexual harassment
07:06 – How different genders respond differently to these workshops
10:23 – How to get students involved in difficult conversations about sexual harassment
13:43 – What do young people want to know?
18:40 – How we are all part of the problem
25:24: The ‘little and often’ approach – and why it’s so useful
26:54 – Should Adolescence be shown in schools as a learning resource?
31:14 – The alternative to showing Adolescence in schools
34:25 – How can parents and carers support these conversations?
37:41 – Issy's message to young people
39:13 – Where to find out more about Our Streets Now
40:50 – Conclusion

Find out more about Our Streets Now: https://www.ourstreetsnow.org/
Our Streets Now support: https://www.ourstreetsnow.org/support
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.