Teaching Humanity Remotely with Dr. Mindy Shaw

In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Shaw relates a very recent experience of a form of prejudice that she encountered when she returned to working as a teacher after several years of retirement.  She was greeted in a relatively unfriendly way by some of her fellow teachers, but as you listen to the study unfold, you can understand why her philosophy of not taking things personally is so important, and in fact it was in this situation.  Others may have belief systems and those belief systems are deeply entrenched and very difficult to alter.  In fact it may not be our task in life to alter the beliefs of others, but what we do have to learn, and we should share with our children, is that some beliefs and apparent prejudices are not personal affronts.... they are based on a circumstance, and as a result, they are not to be taken personally.   Yes, it would be nice if others had their eyes or their hearts open wider and made room for variations of belief, but if that's not the case, just observe and move on.

In this brief but inspiring episode, Dr. Shaw reminds us to avoid negativity in our lives and let the good stuff in.  She points out that we have the choice to decide the direction and feeling of our daily life, and she even uses a simple example to show how something that could be perceived as not-so-great can be just wonderful IF we allow that perception to happen.  And she also reminds us that this is not just a lesson for adults, but that children will benefit from having a positive outlook on things as well, and that could be an important and powerful tool for them as they grow and go through life.

In this episode, Dr. Shaw addresses what to do when you are stuck in an emotional loop, especially a negative one.  This discussion was in part inspired by her 10-year-old granddaughter who, when reflecting on being in a state of agitation and exhibiting a bit of a tantrum, said that she felt like when she was in that state she wanted to stay there for a little while.  Dr. Shaw theorizes that that state of being in that loop can be comfortable and comforting.  She also says there are choices to be made when stuck in that state... one can re-calibrate, or one can feel the feelings as they make their way through it.  She reminds us that the first phase of any transition is seeing and observing what is going on.  Then be gentle with yourself and try to use your energy in a more productive way.  We may think it's helpful to be in that state, but ultimately it may be harming us.

In this brief but impactful episode, Dr. Shaw tackles the subject of what to do when someone disappoints you.  She is not referring to someone who falls short results-wise perhaps at work or while playing a sport... she's talking about when you are in close contact with someone who may not be the kind of person you want to have in your life.  These are people who might be unkind or manipulative or gossipy, and they can be challenging when you choose to life your own with integrity.  She discusses how to treat that person with respect, but to also be observant and to keep your distance.  The fact is that a person who challenges us in this way also provides learning lessons for us.  You must remember to know your own aim, to avoid negative behavior and to have someone you trust to be your buddy when you might be in a hostile environment.  Be engaged without lowering yourself, and of course, be present.

 

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In this brief but insightful episode, Dr. Shaw presents one of her most common themes in her own study of human behavior, and that premise is that behavior equals need.   When you see certain behaviors from people, and in her educational experience that means children, those behaviors stem from a need that is unfulfilled.  She discuss how a child that is throwing a tantrum is learning the exact wrong lesson if that tantrum is silenced or satisfied by giving the child what they want in that moment.  At the same time, no two people or two children are the same or come from the same experience, so there can be differentiation between how you respond to a child expressing a need via misbehaving.  If behavior equals need ... Dr. Shaw says "let's own it and get our needs fulfilled so we can behave appropriately."