Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.

Send us a textEncouraging our kids to make the most of themselves is a vital job for parents, but how do we talk with girls about the barriers they face? From the subtle expectation that girls and women be humble to the not so subtle focus on their worth based on body parts and beauty, we parents are left with a tricky path to tread. We want to encourage our girls to be bold, and try to achieve their dreams, but how do we do that without being honest about the pitfalls of being ambitious, and the misogynistic reactions they will face as they navigate the world? Jo-Ann Finkelstein's book, Sexism and Sensibilty: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World, has been described by Lisa D'Amour as required reading for anyone who is raising, educating, or caring for girls. In this interview, Finkelstein discusses the challenges girls face, such as internalizing sexism and the pressure to conform to beauty standards. She highlights the need for us parents to open about the challenges girls face so they learn to understand their worth beyond appearance.She has some great tips on how to help boys and girls notice the subtle signals and explains how we parents can help them by moving away from comments about their bodies and emphasising their other qualities. Another great tip is to encourage discussion around the dinner table and give girls time and respect when they want to make a point, since men interrupt women 33% more then they interrupt other men. COMPATIBLE EPISODES:Girls posting bikini shots on social media: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/bikini-photos-why-are-girls-posting-bikini-pics-and-what-should-we-say-about-them/Girl friendships: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/114-friendships-frenemies-and-boy-banter-parenting-our-teens-through-the-relationship-pitfalls/Negotiating allowances: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/money-giving-teens-and-tweens-an-allowance-two-years-on-my-daughter-talks-about-how-its-impacted/Eldest daughter syndrome: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/eldest-daughter-syndrome-and-the-trouble-with-parentification/Friendship groups: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/friendship-girls-and-toxic-groups-also-resilience-how-to-get-your-teen-to-keep-going-instead-of-g/Jo-Ann Finkelstein, is an advisory board member of the nonprofit, SSAIS, which has teen resource to empower youth to address SH/SA through peer education and advocacy.  Jo-Ann has a toolkit on this page: https://stopsexualassaultinschools.org/toolkits/, and SASH Club is described here: https://stopsexualassaultinschools.org/sash-club/  and on its own website at the previous link.  Looking foSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textThe suicide of a young man at Oxford University has prompted a warning letter to the UK Government about 'cancel culture' on campus. The review into his death 'identified evidence of a concerning practice of social ostracism among students, often referred to as a cancel culture,' according the coroner.'[The review's] evidence was that this behaviour, where individuals are isolated and excluded from social groups based on allegations or perceptions of wrongdoing, poses a significant risk to student mental health and well-being.'I brought Susie in to talk about where cancel culture has come from, why it's become popular, and how we parents can help our kids be a force for good. PODCAST ON DEI :This Isn't Working by Tanya de GrunwaldFICTION BOOK:The Outcast - Sadie JonesEPISODES: Conflict resolution skills: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/conflict-resolution-skills-can-deepen-your-relationship-with-your-teen-heres-how/Consequnces: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/32-rules-consequences-and-the-teen-who-doesnt-seem-to-care/BLOG about consequences:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/whats-going-on-when-our-boundaries-and-consequences-dont-seem-to-work/Seven Ideas to Reduce Cancel Culture in Yourself or Your Students and Build Resilience from https://growingleaders.com/the-correlation-between-cancel-culture-and-resilience-in-students/:Do not react on impulse. Think first. Give yourself a day to reflect.Practice the 101% Principle. Find the 1% you agree on and give it 100% of your attention. Listen before you speak. Recover the art of really hearing from the other side. Phone a friend. Don’t respond in a vacuum. Include others’ perspectives before acting.Apologize when and where you’re wrong. This goes a long way in fostering relationships. Forgive when appropriate. To make a mistake is human; to forgive is divine.Build a bridge where there’s a wall. Find a way to connect with the opposing side.https://comment.org/why-we-cancel/https://www.depts.ttu.edu/rise/Blog/cancelculture.phphttps://www.researchgate.net/publication/375520893_Cancelled_Exploring_the_Phenomenon_of_Cancel_Culturehttps://www.thetimes.com/uk/education/article/oxford-student-took-own-life-after-ostracism-over-sexual-encounter-cjx389t5rhttps://www.mindingthecampus.org/2024/08/27/the-dangerous-evolution-of-cancel-culture/https://www.mindingthecampus.org/2024/08/27/the-dangerous-evolution-of-cancel-culture/https://medium.com/@julesdixon/ostracism-social-exclusion-in-adulthood-8764ea1a4003https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pl_86DNyN4cicero Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textFriendships, and fitting, in are everything to teenagers. You could argue that understanding the dynamics, and supporting our kids through the turmoil of the teen years, is one of the best things we parents can do.  Former Headteacher of 18 years, Andrew Hampton FRSA, is no stranger to the issue. He's not only raised two girls he's also had to deal with the fall-out in school when friendships go wrong. Having set up the organisation, Girls On Board, which aims to educate teachers about the issues girls face, he - like me - is keenly aware that you can't tackle girl issues without also paying attention to what's happening with boys. He has now turned his attention to Working With Boys and tackling the issue of rape culture in schools; what stage it sets in, why it develops and how we parents can provide a decent working model for our kids to follow. Andrew Hampton [email protected]://www.girlsonboard.co.ukhttps://andrewhampton.netBOOKS:When Girls Fall OutWorking With BoysSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textIf we genuinely think about how many of us are emotionally mature before we become parents the number is probably pretty low. The act of caring for someone else, and having to manage our own feelings, can be incredibly challenging, particularly when we were raised by parents who were immature themselves.Being able to spot the difference between being emotionally immature, and the normal pressures of parenting, can be really helpful. We all have outbursts at times; we're human. The most important test is how we deal with getting it wrong by apologising and taking accountability. The mutual empathy this creates is at the root of building strong relationships. Definition of emotional maturity on Healthline:An emotionally mature person manages their emotions well even in difficult situations, takes accountability, is okay with being vulnerable, and shows empathy to others.THE BOOK REFERENCED THROUGHOUT:Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay GibsonTYPES:1: The emotional parent. Ruled by their feelings, often swinging wildly between being over-involved and completely withdrawing from their children's lives.2: The Driven parent. This personality type is obsessively goal-oriented and perpetually busy. They are on a constant quest for perfection, which includes even their children.3: The Passive parent. They’re more laissez-faire and often willingly take a back seat to a more dominant partner. This can sometimes lead to physical and emotional abuse both for them and their children.4: The Rejecting parent. They don’t enjoy any level of emotional intimacy. Their interactions with other family members usually consist of getting angry, commanding others, or completely isolating themselves. THE TECHNIQUE1:  Become curious and observe rather than react. Our episode on this: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/over-reactions-how-to-not-overreact/2: Think like a scientist. Mentally take note of how your parent or the adult is responding to you. Are they actually listening to you or are they just trying to appease you? Do you recognize any of the emotionally immature behaviors we talked about earlier? Once you’ve done this you can begin to employ what Gibson calls the three-step Maturity Awareness Approach. The first step is to express yourself and let go.1: Express yourself and let go. Tell your parent or the person what you want to say, but don't worry about controlling the outcome. It doesn't matter how they react to you. 2: Set a goal of what you want to achieve from the conversation. For example, you might say, I want to tell my mother how ISupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk