Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.

• Feeling judged? Can we offer support without judging other parents? 154

  What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Judgment can be both useful and harmful. When it works well it's a safety mechanism for keeping kids from being harmed. When it works badly it can create feelings of shame and fear which stop parents reaching out for help, cause us to doubt our instincts and miss the vital importance of connection with our children. Sometimes, our fear of judgment can even paralyse us parents and stop us making the decision we know would be better for our family.We can't control what others think about us but we can control how we think about ourselves and how we respond to judgment.That's why I've set up this podcast to give you a chance to hear other parents talk about what experts say, and realise that there is absolutely no perfect parent or perfect way to do things. Personally, I've found parenting more of a haggle than an art. People who think they have the right answer rarely understand the complexities of our own haggle.TOP TIPS SHARED IN THE EPISODE:1. Lead with Empathy, Not AuthorityStart by acknowledging how hard parenting can be."I know how tough it is—I've been there too." This creates a shared experience, not a hierarchy.2. Ask, Don’t AssumeInstead of diving in with advice, invite the conversation:"Would it help if I shared something that worked for me?" "Are you looking for suggestions or just someone to listen?" This gives them control, which preserves their dignity.3. Share, Don’t InstructFrame advice as personal experience or something you've come across—not a prescription:"What really helped us was..." "I read something interesting the other day about how teens..."Avoid “should,” “always,” or “never” statements.4. Validate Before You AdviseBefore offering tips, show you understand their situation:"That sounds so frustrating—I can see why you're worried." Validation lowers defensiveness and opens them up to ideas.5. Focus on Curiosity, Not CriticismYou might say:"Have you noticed if she gets more upset when..." "Do you think he might be reacting to...?" This invites reflection rather than implying fault.6. Know When to Just Be ThereSometimes advice isn’t what they need—just a calm presence or someone to say:"You're doing better than you think."Mo Gawdat quote:Mo Gawdat defines happiness as a state where your perception of life's events is equal to or greater than your expectations. Break Ups episode mentioned in the reviews: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/144-first-love-breakups-lgbtq-how-to-support-our-kids-through-the-turmoil/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

  --------  

  37:14

  --------

  37:14
• Why Mothers Aren't Happy: Burnout, Mental Load and the Second Shift. 153

  What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Women's happiness has been in decline since the 1970's despite increased freedoms and opportunities, says Dr Giselle Goodwin. I've you've ever felt burnout out and the sense that you're somehow failing at being a woman and a mother you'll have a sense of it happening, but you may feel guilty, particularly given the opportunities we've been given compared with what our own mothers had. She says that when women were told we could have it all, it seems what we really heard was we must do it all. It's been dubbed The Female Paradox and in this episode Dr Goodwin shares her personal struggles balancing career and motherhood. She talks us through how societal expectations haven't really changed, even while women are expected to go out to work, resulting in what's been dubbed the "second shift" of domestic responsibilities. We also explore the Paula Principle, where women often take jobs below their skill level for flexibility to fit in with home life, contrasting it with the Peter Principle where men are promoted above their competence. In spite of the problems, Giselle emphasizes it's vital for women to be in high-level roles for societal representation and equity and the real work needs to be done in discussions about how we divide up the mental and physical labour of or lives.She advises young people to view their careers as a portfolio, adapting to life's seasons, and encourages midlife reassessment.Dr Giselle Goodwin: https://gisellegoodwin.com/BOOK: Can Women Really Have it All?: A Happiness Handbook for Working Mothers Research shows that working mothers experience up to 40% more stress and that women’s happiness has been declining since the 1970s. How do we fix this? Backed by compelling research and packed with actionable suggestions, this groundbreaking book answers the burning questions of working mothers today:Why do so many mothers feel chronically guilty?What actions can women take to improve their own happiness?What changes do we need from society to improve women’s lives?Does working outside the home make mothers happier?Is part-time work the answer, or does it bring its own problems?What advice should we give to our children?Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

  --------  

  31:39

  --------

  31:39
• Angry teenagers: How to parent tweens and teens through their anger - Vintage. 152

  What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?We all loose our cool sometimes. but teenagers can find it particularly challenging to stay calm or calm down when enraged. It takes self-awareness and skill, and a level of brain development that just isn't there for some of them.One listener contacted us for help  with her son who is being goaded by friends at school and getting into trouble for losing his temper. We talk about the brain development stage that makes this so prevalent in teens, and discuss top tips for how she can support him in managing his emotions. www.teenagersuntangled.com EXCELLENT WORKSHEET:https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/coping-skills-angerHere are five key tips for handling a teenager with explosive anger:Normalize the emotion: Help your teen understand that anger is a natural signal, not a problem. Explain the brain changes happening during adolescence that can make emotions intense.Create a safe space: Provide a designated area where they can express anger without judgment. This could be a room, a punching bag, or a place to play loud music and release emotions.Develop a trigger awareness strategy: Work together to identify anger triggers. Create a log to track what situations, comments, or environments set off their anger, and develop coping mechanisms.Practice emotional regulation tools: Teach breathing techniques, use a code word (like "Flint") to signal when they're becoming overwhelmed, and help them recognize physical signs of anger building up.Maintain a supportive relationship: Focus on positive reinforcement, listen without trying to immediately fix the problem, and consistently show love and understanding. Avoid punishment during angry outbursts and discuss strategies calmly when they're calm.RESOURCES USED:Yale Medicine. (n.d.). Anger, Irritability and Aggression in Kids. [online] Available at: https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/anger-issues-in-children-and-teens#:~:text=For%20children%2C%20anger%20issues%20often.Myler, C. (2020). Understanding teen boys’ anger. [online] Maggie Dent. Available at: https://www.maggiedent.com/blog/understanding-teen-boys-anger/.‌Russell, D.L. (2023). Anger Management Techniques for Teenagers: A Parent Guide. [online] They Are The Future. Available at: https://www.theyarethefuture.co.uk/anger-management-techniques-for-teenagers/ [Accessed 12 Jun. 2023]Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

  --------  

  31:46

  --------

  31:46
• How to Set Boundaries That Actually Work With Teens: Vintage. 151

  What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Featuring Mindfulness expert, Susie AsliHaving kids can seem like a non-stop obstacle course trying to get another living being to do things, whether for their own good or our own sanity.Getting the right balance between love and discipline is incredibly tricky, and for many of us it's a constant haggle.So what do the experts say about it? What works, and what about the teenager who doesn't seem to care?READ MY BLOG:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/whats-going-on-when-our-boundaries-and-consequences-dont-seem-to-work/TOP TIPS:Focus on Connection and a strong relationship with your teenager. Let teens experience the direct results of their actions. Consequences should be clear, time-limited, and directly related to changing the specific behavior.Involve Teenagers in creating consequences.Separate the Behavior from the Person: You love them unconditionally, but don't like the specific behavior.Don't take away activities that support personal development. Always provide context for rules and consequences.Be Consistent and Fair: Follow through with consequences, but remain flexible and understanding.Notice and acknowledge when they do well to build connection and mutual respect.Seek Support if you're finding it challenging to manage your teenager's behavior.RESOURCES USED:https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/family/effective-vs-counterproductive-methods-of-teen-punishment/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_m&utm_term=PerformanceMax&utm_content=&network=x&placement=&target=&matchtype=&utm_campaign=16929735023&ad_type=responsive_pmax&adposition=&kwd_id=&gclid=Cj0KCQiAnsqdBhCGARIsAAyjYjQ7VuP6YXy_xN5VEyj-jTeNIwj1LDUhiSEaegaxw4NeK4zBWoI1GVMaArsTEALw_wcBParenting style as a moderator of the effect of temperament on adolescent externalising and internalising behaviour problems: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/educational-and-developmental-psychologist/article/abs/parenting-style-as-a-moderator-of-the-effect-of-temperament-on-adolescent-externalising-and-internalising-behaviour-problems/78AC30E10887EC321057BF1E1C8CA349Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

  --------  

  29:11

  --------

  29:11
• Motivation: How to motivate a young person, teen or tween: Vintage. 150

  What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?We'd all love our children to breeze through school, enjoying a satisfying academic life, having lots of friends, and coming out at the end feeling a success. But what if you have a child that doesn't thrive in an academic environment? What if they can't or won't do the work? How do you deal with it and what techniques can you use to motivate them?According to eminent psychologist, Dr David Yeager, when kids hit puberty they're primarily looking for experiences that give them social status and respect.He says the common belief that teens and young adults are lazy and incompetent causes us to miss what really motivates them, and do some pretty dumb things that don't help.In his book, 10-25: The Science of How to Motivate Young People, Yeager - who's ranked as one of the top 0.1% most-influential psychologists in the world - explains how the science of motivating young people can help us to harness their drive for social status and a growth mindset so they're motivated to achieve their best.BOOK:10-25: The Science of Motivating Young PeopleDAVID YEAGER: Author/Professor/[email protected] Talks: Sir Ken Robinson Do schools kill creativity?https://www.ted.com/talks/sir_ken_robinson_do_schools_kill_creativity?language=enBooks referenced:The Self-Driven Child by William Stixrud and Ned JohnsonThe Gift of Failure by Jessica LaheyThrivers by Michele BorbaSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

  --------  

  45:33

  --------

  45:33

More Education podcasts

Trending Education podcasts

About Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.

Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.: Podcasts in Family